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Well, as I understand it, the committee's recommendations would be taken under advisement by legislators, so it is entirely possible that nothing will change. But since the legislators took the effort to assemble the committee in the first place, I believe their recommendations will bring about some change.

There are a few things to be concerned about. Right now, the political influence groups in Illinois are very strong with Domestic Violence supporters and Child Support enforcement supporters. There are not very many "Increase parenting time and responsibility" supporters out there.

CRC-IL proposed a good initiative to increase parenting time and there seems to be pretty much universal acceptance of removing terms of Custody and Visitation (at least by what I witnessed so far). I've also seen discussion of changing child support and adopting a cost sharing model, but what the committee ultimately comes out with on their own, we'll see later on.

Hopefully, the committee will adopt some changes to the rather archaic family law structure we have in place now. The committee is formed now and is working on their proposals, so we should see them in the next year or two.

I've had to deal with these types of psychological mind games myself. Because I didn't provide the full and proper itinerary, per my ex-wife's desire, she threatened to prevent me from picking up my children. In that incident, a call to the police was in order. Here's what I learned while dealing with issues like this.

Tentatively agree until you have your kids with you, then "Possession is 9/10's of the Law". Once your child is safe at your place, let your ex know you have no desire to pay and you await him to provide the appropriate tickets. Don't put it in writing, call on the phone. When addressing your desire not to pay, mention your support payments, lack of legal justification to make you pay, etc.

Now the other parent has two choices. 1) Buy the ticket at a premium to see their child. 2) Call the police. If the later, then calmly explain you have no desire to keep your child past the date and time in which they are supposed to return and that as long as the custodial parent provides a means of transportation, you will do nothing to interfere with your child taking that transportation. Ask the police to provide a copy of the court order mandating you provide transportation expenses, and absent one, kindly ask them to tell the custodial parent to provide transportation.

After the ordeal, expect a trip back to court. File first, because you know it'll be coming. Get a motion to Modify that clearly defines who is responsible for travel in your court order. (Research your State Law to know what to expect.)

Probably not the best approach at avoiding confrontation, but it will make sure you see your child and will shift the power back into your hands.

Good luck.
Ian.

There is case law the prevents a child support order from impacting a low income parent. It is determined on a case by case basis, but you should be able to reduce or eliminate the maintanence or in the least reduce the support to a level you can afford. I'm not fully versed on it, but an attorney should be. Also depending on where you are from there may also be Pro-bono resources you can utilize to assist your legal issues. In any such case, it seriously sounds like you need to appeal that decision (if you can) or to file for a motion to modify. You can also do this Pro-Se and our site points to a myriad of legal resources you can use for your research, but it's a lot of work.

Good luck,
Ian.

Did you know that Illinois is poised to drastically change its family law structure? No? Well, apparently there aren't a lot of other people who did either. Last year, the Illinois House of Representatives passed a resolution (H.R.1101) sponsored by Speaker of the House Michael J. Madigan that created the Illinois Family Law Committee. This committee is charged with analyzing the nearly 30 year old family law structure within our State and to determine if it is time to revise it. During the two public hearings held in the Chicago metro area last month, fewer than 50 people showed up for the public hearings. These meetings were primarily comprised of judges, State law makers, family law attorneys, domestic abuse advocates, and child support advocates.

Advocates for non-custodial parents were few at best.  The American Coalition of Fathers and Children's Executive Director, Michael McCormick is residing on the board as a member, and there was an excellent speech given by the Children's Rights Council of Illinois' own Michael Doherty supporting increased parental time for the traditional non-custodial parent. Overall, the speakers at each meeting gave great evidence in support of need for increased parenting time and responsibility.

But this is where the discussion of increased parenting time ends. On page 32 of The Task Force on the Family in Our Society Report issued by the Illinois State Bar Association (ISBA), the highly influential association in Illinois Law, states, "The concept of Joint Custody as a panacea for spousal contest in the raising of children has not been successful, particularly where spouses have not been adept at agreeing in other areas of their lives."

Of course, Illinois State Law doesn't permit Joint Custody situations when both parents don't agree, so it's easily argued that the opinions of the ISBA are based on a clear lack of information. Certainly, not everyone agrees with this opinion. Our neighbors in Iowa, as a standard, have authorized Joint Physical Parenting, or a near equal division of time the children get to spend with each parent. They have implemented Joint Legal Custody or the ability to be involved in the decisions about your child as well. Minnesota also defaults to a Joint Legal Custody position in divorces.

In the public hearing in Chicago, Judge Edward Jordan of the Cook County Circuit Court stated, "Joint Custody, yes, I think there's a Latin Phrase for it, 'It Sucks'". Consider the callousness of such a statement. This mindset creates a situation where one parent can effectively lose their rights to be a significant part of their children's lives on the whim of the other parent. As long as one of the two doesn't agree, that is grounds for sole custody under current law.

It is time to change our laws. Let us bring back both parents into our children's lives. Revamp our "Children's First" course to show how to parent in situations were parents disagree ("Joint Custody with a Jerk" by Julie A. Ross and Judy Corcoran). We need to teach that the time a child spends with a parent (both parents) is their most precious and most influential time they will spend in their lives. Parenting is not easy, it takes work, but it can be done, even in divorce situations. Let us as a State not stand in the way of that monumental and most important influence on our children.

About the Author: Ian Mitchell is an equal parenting advocate following his divorce in Illinois in 2005. He is a co-founder of Illinois Fathers, a not for profit corporation within Illinois determined to provide assistance to non-custodial parents through local meetings, online advocacy and to alter the political landscape in Illinois in support of equal parenting rights. Most importantly, he is a father of three young children who he takes great pride in spending as much quality time with as he can.

First, let me tip my hat to the folks who put together this WONDERFUL site. It was my stepping stone into fighting for my rights with my children, and my ex has certainly put them to the test. SPARC helped from Day 1 after my divorce was "finalized" by helping me contact my children's school and arming me with the legal information I needed to not take "No" for an answer. Thanks to that information, I now have a great working relationship with my children's school.

Thank you.

Well, now it's time to give back to the community. Myself and a few other's in our State have created a not for profit corporation in Illinois called "Illinois Fathers" and we focus specifically on issues unique to Illinois. We are the Illinois Affiliate for ACFC and have a goal of setting up local area support meetings in each of the judicial circuits within our State where non-custodial, non-primary parents can come and meet and discuss their successes and failures in parenting.  We also build a collection of legal information, case history, and other similar information that others can use in their work Pro-Se, and we also look to provide a number of services to the local communities on a voluntary basis. On the political front, we look to incorporate lobbyists and approach Springfield to create a presumption of shared parenting. We hope to do this through active community involvement, reaching out to similar organizaitons, and by building a voting constituancy that Springfield can't ignore.

Please consider coming by and seeing us. If you are a leader of another organization in Illinois, consider a meeting with our board members and see how we can be of assistance. If you are a person who is going through the difficulties of being a non-custodial parent, stop by our website and see how we can help!

Sincerely,

Ian Mitchell
Co-Founder
Illinois Fathers