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Messages - mammahen07

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Visitation Issues / refusal to return on time!!!
« on: Mar 07, 2009, 07:56:42 PM »
I am new to this forum , however I need help. My ex & I don't see eye to eye = hence why we're divorced. This problem stems from the discipling of our children. I've tried and tried multiple times to encourage a united front so that the children will see that we are still their parents even though we're not together and that they will not be able to "divide and conquer us" sorta speak. I.e our 9 yr old has constantly lied about stupid things, defies openly the step parents from both homes, we've spent 600.00+ dollars recently on cavities from refusal/ lieing about brushing her teeth, very manipulative behavior, half heartedly/ if at all does chores---------- This has been an on going problem for yrs and the older she gets the worse it becomes. I have her in counseling ( that costs me money) yet she doesn't care. She however does gets bothered when her mother ( non-custodial)has to spend a dime " mom can't afford it" yet I can? Her mother gave up custody because she said she couldn't take care of them and she knew I could- yet a year later she goes and has a son while openly gloating that she finally got what she always wanted_ a boy_ in front of the 3 girls. She lives relativly close and has  standard visitation w/ thursday being her 2 hr visitation. She only comes on the Fridays( which we verbally aggreed on fridays at 7p -until9p so it was easier on her) of the week that it's not her visit due to money,' she never calls on the phone to talk to them- which only costs time/ not money- during any of the tme in between the visits however a special event has come up THE JONAS BROTHERS concert. She asked if she could take the girls since it was on her weekend ( which really wasn't my call) however they would be home extremly late and well past the time of dropp off. I told her I had no problem with it--- EXCEPT I didn't think our 9 yr old should be allowed to attend due to her behavior- we discussed it and agreed a week ago she even invited my step daughter to go in place of my 9 yr old. Well last night rolls around and I'm on my way home from work- my wife is with the children and my ex picks up our girls- then she calls me to inform me that she doesn't care what I think she is taking our 9 yr old to the concert regardless b/c it's a once in a lifetime experience and her boss gave her tickets and she doesn't ever get ----blah!blah! blah!! It was all about her and what she wanted and I kept telling her it wasn't about her it was about not encouraging our 9 yr olds bad behavior and making her have consequences for them. She said she didn't care she was taking them- I then very politly said either I can come get our 9 yr old early an you may take the other2 ( by this point my step daughter is in hysterics b/c her heart was set on the concert) or she would have to bring them all back by the ordered time of 7 and then everyone will miss out b/c of this. She then very firmly stated she did not care what I said - she was bringing them and would not have them home by the ordered time and hung up. WHAT DO I DO? IS THERE ANYTHING I REALLY CAN DO? I was told by a friend that this is a form of "Parental kidnapping" and that I need to notify the police after she doesn't return the children as ordered ----help I need to know what to do- I can no longer watch her behavior spill over into my daughters and destroy her life due to shelfish poor choices. What can I do on my end

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