Messages

I can see your point of view. 

Fathers should take an interest in being involved in caring for their children but its hard to truly care for a child unless you have independent time with the child.

You can't do that in short one hour to four hour visits especially if they are supervised with the other parent. 

I would be more concerned with his ability and willingness to take on the responsibility rather than your childs age or his involvment in the past.

Remember you are not giving him the chance you are giving your child the chance to know who their father is not just know who he is.

If there is no reason for him not to have your child i.e he's a criminal, drug addict, etc. and he has taken some parenting classes, educated himself about children and how to take care of them (If he hasn't, teach him what you have learned and know) and is willing to spend what time he can.  Let them be together until he proves he can't handle it.  Don't make him wait to prove he can.

Time is precious.  Every minute lost fighting is one less minute a child has a chance to make a connection with their mother or father.  You'll never get the chance to get that moment back.

Does anyone really want their children to grow up and realize the reason they didn't get to spend more time with mom or dad is because one parent didn't think the other was worthy and wasn't willing to help make it happen?

Cynic by nature!  No applause please, it's a benefit from growing up in a military family, being a veteran, studying criminal justice and working in the law enforcement field for awhile. 

So what's my story?  We all have a story don't we?  Drama is the nectar of the Gods or at least the nectar of my soon-to-be-ex-wife.  I won't bore you with details, let's keep it simple.

My story is I live in Texas We have a six month old child and the ex will not budge off 1/3/5.  That's the standard in Texas for visitation if you are not the "primary custodian" or whatever the heck they call it.  Which means 1^st,3^rd,and 5^th weekend of every month, one evening in the 2^nd and 4^th weeks, one month in the summer, alternating holidays(Christmas/Thanksgiving), fathers day, and when Jupiter lines up with Venus cross-sectored by Mars, and a midget riding a tricycle sees his shadow you get your kid. 

What's that?  Your child is an infant?  I'm sorry Mr. Smith 1/3/5 is not for infants, golly jeepers, but don't worry we will progressively allow the schedule to develop over the next 3 years. Isn't that fantastic? You get some much time with your kid you won't know what to do with it.  By the way your ex is going to need 20 % of your income.  Don't worry about that either we'll just take it out of your check, thanks a bunch!

I could complain all day about my rights as a father, how unfair the system is, how communicating with my ex is like trying to have an intellectual conversation with a finger puppet but there's something deeper here that bothers me.

What about our child's rights.  Doesn't our child have a basic fundamental right to spend equal time with both parents whenever possible?

Texas has presumptive Joint Managing Conservatorship unless the health or emotional development of the child would be harmed.  Which as my attorney told me means my ex and I have an equal right to our child.  Okay, so we should get equal time right?  No, visitation is completely different.  What? That makes no sense how can they be exclusive?  They just are it's not the same thing, really!

Didn't the U.S. Supreme Court determine Separate but Equals laws to be Un-Constitutional in the 1960's? That's why we no longer see a white's only drinking fountain and a colored drinking fountain.  Isn't that why Rosa Parks doesn't have to sit on the back of the bus anymore?

Here are the real questions:
Does anyone know of any case law in any State where an argument for equal time was made?  Does anyone know of any case or groups that have approached the issue of custody and access from a child's rights point of view?  Does anyone have any advice?

All I want for our child is equal time.  Equal Time Right Now!!!