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« on: Nov 07, 2013, 03:01:24 PM »
I feel your pain Snow.
DH's two DDs wanted to move back with BM many times. She would show them a good time, buy them stuff & tell them how mean we were for having rules & such. BM turned them over to us on her own with girls were 5 & 8 and BM was living out of a truck.
When OSD turned around 14 or 15, she just turned it off one day. She liked our house better & has never swapped back (except for slight times when a BF lived near mom or something).
YSD on the other hand was always a handful. She was 2 at the time of their split and moved in with us at 5. She never really experienced things the same way OSD did. She always wanted to move back in with BM from the first time BM mentioned it. YSD was trained by BM to do things to drive the entire family crazy & if there was ever any trouble, a simple phone call to BM would cause WW3. It wasnt worth it to argue, punish, or do anything.
When she was 12, the news came that DH was not the biological father of YSD. After a few months (at the end of school when BMs parenting time started anyway), he let her go to live with BM. It was exteremly hard on him and I dont think he would have made it throught if there wasnt the OSD still living with us.
There was however, after she left such a relief from stress that we ALL noticed & commented on it.
Good luck. This will be really hard on the whole family, but especially your husband if he decides to let go.