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Messages - blm

Pages: 1
Second Families / Re: How will I affect custody??
« on: Oct 25, 2011, 05:10:22 PM »
How did it go from him having them all the time to her moving close and getting 4 nights a week? Is she using dad's work schedule as a reason to be with her over you?
There was no "custody agreement" prior to her moving back and the judge ordering the temporary order. It was supposed to be 50/50 but somehow the CO was drawn up by HER lawyer and that's how the Sunday-Wednesday/Wednesday-Sunday started. Is something fishy here? I had no idea someone could get Primary by default?!

Second Families / Re: How will I affect custody??
« on: Oct 25, 2011, 02:26:05 PM »
are you saving these texts and messages?? do you have Iphones??
Yes we have them all saved and printed!

She has Wed- Sun every week??? That is her having custody...
What do you mean by her having custody???

Second Families / Re: How will I affect custody??
« on: Oct 25, 2011, 11:59:00 AM »
You dont have to stop bothering her....shes a grown up. You can post pictures to face book....shes not their agent. I gave my wife power of attorney so she can take the kids to doctors....shes speaking for me, not my ex....my ex said something to our judge and he understood it wasnt for my wife to take away any say in emergency issues but gave us a buffer in case work issues came up during a normal check up. My ex also tried to tell the judge she didnt want my mkids to be flower girls in my wedding....how do you think that worked out??
Whats the Temp Court Order say as far as custody??

The temporary order states that BM has the kids from Wednesday at 5 pm till Sunday at 5 pm (something cooked up by her that my fiance did not agree to; how it got signed we are still not sure). It takes away his weekends while he is off work and would be UNBELIEVABLY hard on his kids!!. But due to both kids being in school my fiance asked that they do Sunday at 5 till Sunday at 5. Which is all fine and good till something comes up at the end of our week, then she says she wants to go by the actual order and threatens BOTH of us with calling the cops to come get the kids. We have asked about getting it changed but quite honestly our lawyer is good but not nearly as helpful as he should be. So we have to "deal with it" till court which also just got postponed for the second time. BM is so unreasonable, manipulative, clearly doesn't care about the actual well being of her children, and a pro at making stuff up!!! Most courts favor mothers and we are scared to death!

Second Families / Re: How will I affect custody??
« on: Oct 25, 2011, 06:13:26 AM »
There was no custody agreement and there is now only a temp CO which completely messes with the kids heads. BM lives in the same school district NOW but has every intention to "get full custody of the kids and move with them".  I have stopped ALL contact with BM and per her request stopped doing things that "bother her" ex. taking the kids to the dr. when she sends them for my fiances week with ear infections and bronchitis, posting pics to FB, etc. (note that this was not a concern until we got engaged and I have always been this involved with them because I am going to school and am able to be there for them during the day)

I understand I have no say in anything and I try to stand back and just help the kids with the situation. This has been very confusing for them because she has never been around they have ALWAYS been with their dad. It's really hard because I love them as if I had them myself. BM constantly talks court around them and tells them their going to live with her, move with her, "pick when they get older", etc. Their 5 and 3 lady give me a break!!

Second Families / How will I affect custody??
« on: Oct 24, 2011, 07:47:40 AM »
I am engaged to a man with 2 kids. When the youngest was LESS than 9 months old their mother left with her boyfriend and moved across the country. She had nothing to do with them until my fiance and I started dating. Over the course of their lives she has been in and out of it for at least 3 years (the oldest kid is now 5 you do the math).We served her with custody a week after the oldest child's birthday this year that she "could not make it to" and the following week she moved back. She has now been here since April trying to make herself look stable and willing and her personal vendetta against me seems to be getting worse (accusing that I beat the kids, that I'm verbally abusive, you name it "I've done it"). Even though I have been willing to work with her; giving her clothes, shoes, toys, money... Stayed in touch with her letting her know things even while the kids were with us, even went so far as to go places with her so the kids could see us get along!

Being an outside perspective it IS in the best interests of the kids to live solely with their dad. She neglects, show favoritism, can't plan anything in their interests that does not revolve around her Navy boyfriend, and can't even get them Halloween costumes (we had to buy them but aren't even allowed to take them trick-or-treating). My fiance is a LOVING man who raised 2 girls for 2 years ON HIS OWN! He has always provided them with a happy stable home!!!

I love my fiances kids and they absolutely love me, and I do a lot for them, but I by no means want to take their mothers place (heck if there was anything I could do to keep the kids from having to watch her leave them again I would do it).

I am at a loss as to what to do because I'm beginning to feel like my close relationship with the kids and my fiance is causing her to be more manipulative and maybe even hurting his chances for custody. She constantly withholds things from my fiance about the girls because I MIGHT somehow have something to do with it.

Legally will my relationship with the girls or "being shacked up" with their dad hurt him??

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