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I will ck out the website.  I live in High Point, NC..guilford county.  My case is a very unusual one. He is in arrears by $2,000 and has been for 2 years...now tables turn, I have to pay and basically lost my kids, besides everyother week visitation. EX threatend me one day he would take the kids and I would have to pay him. He followed thru by being vendictive, bad mouthing me to my boys, and being able to buy them anything and everything they wanted. At 13 and 16 and going thru a family break up, this influenced them enough to tell the judge we love mom but want to live with dad....go figure.

you are right on some of the issues but as far as my parenting time taken away, it wasnt taken away so to speak. Kids boys 13, 16 stated they wanted to live with dad. Judge listened thought they were old enough to decide and granted it...plain and simple...heartbreaking on my end.We had both gone to evaluation and were both proven as fit parents, that was not the issue in court, it was what did the kids want.

So far everyother wednesday if kids want to come over and everyother weekend

Thank you for your reply. Believe me I can prove that I cannot afford it. North Carolina maybe different as far as guidelines for CS. They have not asked for anything but monthly gross income. They use the Child support guidline worksheet and it calculates for you. The court could care less if you can or cannot afford it.

I made the mistake of purchasing a home after my divorce to keep my children in their school district, at the time I had full phys custody, little did I know it would be cut in half, then cut all together, thanks to the wonderful court system. I have my house on the market but it could take a while to sell. I have no cable, no home phone. I work a full time and a part time job. I do not go shopping, I eat  lunch and dinner everyday at home. I can not tell you whe I took a vacation. I use my complete income for food, shelter, water, elect. the basics needed.  There is nothing left. Do you know what they give you for plasma?

Ok, 1st off. My first post a few weeks ago, only got me bashed and crucified so I don't want to go through that again. I am not trying to buck my reponsibilities, I am mother, that got screwed out of physical custody by ex. I now have to pay him. have house for sale, but the amount here in NC is 1/4 of total bring home pay. I have cancelled my phone, cable, and waiting to sell my house. What happens if I truly cannot pay the $385.00 CS to ex. (by the way he makes 75% more a year then I do) Please only sincere replys. This is hard enough on me, I don't need to be crapped on anymore.

yep. you have to realize I was receiving $466 a month from him for CS, although this figure was not accurate, i accepted it as it was immediate. So you add less the 466 per month i had been receiving and add the 345 which comes to 811 per month...could you survive?

POC,
Thank you for your sincere replies. Nice to know at least one person understands I am not trying to "buck" the system. I can't change the opinion's of others. I just want to be a good mom.

Ok, first of all this was my very first post to SPARC. I came here for support, opinions, understanding, and hopefully to share and receive from others that have been through the same kind of situation.  I certainly did not plan on getting "crucefied" so to speak.  All I have done from the day of my divorce was what was best for my kids.  Yes I purchased a home that I would not have been able to afford with out CS.  But I downsized more than half of what I had and I purchased a home to keep my children in the school district that they were attending, as this was important to them and myself.  At the time of divorce I was only employed part time so that I could be home when my kids got home from school, as there father has a job that he goes out of town weekly and home late.  I had full physical custody of my kids, and everyone was ok, ex never indicated that a year later he would try to get custody. By that time I had already purchased my home. We went to court and CS was cut in half due to 50/50 week with me, week with day. So I worked full time and got a second part time job. Only working the 2nd job when the kids were at their dads.  Yes a mistake to depend on CS, but too late now.  I do not have a high standard of living, I have a home, no credit cards and a old vehicle to drive. I did not sit around and eat bon bons living off CS.

My post was intened to mean can EX say he doesn't want it? Yes I know the law and the requirements of child support especially here in NC.  Some have said you might have to pay $17 per week, ok that would be fine, but in NC  my requirements would be more around $400. no where close to $17 per week.  I never received alimony, partly because I had a bad attorney, too late for that now, I never asked for more money from ex. What kind of a parent can you be if you can not even offer a home to your children, or your working non-stop to pay CS to someone that doesnt need it and very little time to spend with your children? I was never crying for sympathy, thank God because this was not the place for that or understanding.  

Bottom line, EVERYONES situation is different and you truly cannot judge my situation unless you knew every detail in it. The emotional part, the bitterness, the unforgiving, we all have our own stories and situations. Its too bad that my first time here has been so unpleasant. I thought this was a different kind of place, obviously its not!

well i bought a house to keep my kids in the school district. monthy payment 1000 add car payment 279 very minimal credit cards about 50 per month, food, elect, phone..I do not live or should I say have not been living out of my means.  I depended o child support when i bought my house as ex had not had given any indication he would try to get physical custody.

maybe you should get a life!