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Messages - HopelessInVirginia

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1
Visitation Issues / Re: Week of my visitation refused, need help
« on: Aug 10, 2014, 03:09:55 PM »
They are in middle school. I looked on the county court website and it gives instructions for filing a contempt motion but not instructions on how to request the court change the order, so I'm not sure how to do this. The custody attorney cost $10,000 (and I lost!) and I can't afford to hire a lawyer again to fight this.

I still think that the parent that is unable to comply should need to request an alternate with advance notice. He is not asking me to take them to school next week, he is demanding to pick them up next weekend. To add insult to injury, he wants them on Saturday instead of Sunday "so that have a day to unwind before school" which just makes it all the more outrageous considering I am already losing a week.

I reviewed my notes and this is actually the 3rd time I have lost visitation time. The first time was their birthday last year, when my ex just outright refused. The second was Mother's Day weekend when I was supposed to have them on Friday and he brought them on Saturday with the excuse "I didn't read the court order."

I found an example of a letter to send the other parent reiterating my intention to exercise visitation (something that shouldn't have to be reiterated, but I guess it does!) and warning him of the potential consequences of ignoring the court order. I am going to prepare one of these and send it  to him via certified mail. It probably will add flame to the fire but I've got to assert myself or he will just keep doing whatever he wants. Then again, if he ignored the actual court order there's a good chance he will ignore this too.

I haven't found anything about how to adjust the summer dates. I will keep trying to find out. If anyone has any more information about this for Virginia please post. Someone said if I bring up visitation in court again I could risk losing some of the time I already have because they would "re-evaluate" the case? Is this true? That seems incredibly unfair considering the good reason I am asking this to be changed.

2
Visitation Issues / Re: Week of my visitation refused, need help
« on: Aug 10, 2014, 09:31:15 AM »
My ex and I do not set up the visitation dates for the summer, they are specifically outlined in the court order. In this case, it says "The second Saturday in August to the fourth Saturday in August." If he could not comply with my court ordered visitation time, he should have given advance notice and asked for an alternate week be scheduled, but he did not. I guess he just assumed he would have a good enough excuse to violate the court order, that he wouldn't get in trouble, and I would lose my week (win, win, win for him!)

This scenario is going to happen every year that they are in that school because of the specific dates outlined on the court order. Ex does not take the order seriously, and this is the second time he has violated it - for Mother's Day weekend I was supposed to have them from Friday to Sunday and instead he brought them on Saturday with the excuse "I didn't read the order."

We live almost an hour and a half apart so bringing them to school is not feasible. I would like to insist on taking the time I am ordered and take the trip with them, but then will I get in trouble for the fact that they missed school? Maybe that is his whole strategy here?

Thanks for the help.

3
Visitation Issues / Week of my visitation refused, need help
« on: Aug 09, 2014, 08:59:15 PM »
Today I started my court ordered second 2 week summer visit, and was told by my very upset children that "Dad says he is picking us up in 1 week instead of 2 because school starts next week!" Needless to say, I am very angry that he gave NO notice or request to alternate my 2nd week earlier in the summer when there was still time to make up the week, and the fact that he takes my court ordered visitation so lightly. Most of all I am upset because I have been promising for WEEKS to take my kids on a trip that will now be impossible, and they are very upset. They probably think I "broke my promise" too. I don't know what to do. And the same thing is bound to happen again every summer. Help!

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