Quote from: ocean on Mar 17, 2015, 03:37:20 PM
What is her options to you so far?
This is what she's sent her "mediator" to put in the msa for her:
No over nights until he's 3.
Son is not to leave her county of residence without her permission.
No travel away from home until he's 5.
He's to be returned to her by 6pm on days that I'm there visiting before he turns 3.
I (me) pay for all travel.
Child support needs to be reassessed.
Atleast a 3 week notice before visit.
Split costs of activities for son.
Holidays will be in California until son is 5 and then it alternates.
Birthdays will be where son lives since he'll be in school (or wherever she decides to move to).
Word for word what she text me. Obviously that's not quite the agreeable attitude, that I understand haha. This was a few months ago when we were battling pretty hard. Fast forward a few months and she is engaged to be married, and due to have this guys baby end of May. I was in the Marine Corps and this guy is in the Navy and he's deploying this summer...so she is desperate to get a divorce and settle all of this before the new baby is born and before her fiancee deploys that way they can get married and get base housing. (Basically all military members, once married, get to decide whether they want a house on base or an approved neighborhood for free only paying utilities, or they get paid a particular amount of money to live in a normal house or apartment.) She wants to get in base housing but that can only happen after they get married.
I have been nothing but flexible throughout this whole ordeal and I think a judge would see that (I hope), I've given up a lot of things for our son and she hasn't been willing to negotiate or meet me in the middle or even be flexible in the slightest. Now that she has a bit of pressure on her I hope she will be willing to negotiate with me in terms that are similar to the courts long distance standard (even giving up a few days though having longer and more ideal visits). I have no confidence or faith in the mediator she is using, he's been nothing but disrespectful thus far and has basically only repeated what she wants vs finding a happy medium between the both of us for the sake of our son.
Little bit of back story: The case is currently a Texas case, but due to the amount of time he has lived in California and the amount of foot dragging that has taken place she has hired an attorney in Texas to get it transferred to California. That April visit that they made here, she signed my paperwork at my attorneys office that way we didn't have to get her served, and then later filed a new case in California even though the Texas case was open and under way, due to her mediators advice. She'll openly admit this. They mailed me this paperwork to Alaska where I was at temporarily for work, since you can't have two cases for the exact same divorce open in two different states I didn't officially respond to said paperwork. They can't even prove that I received it as I was sharing a mailbox with a buddy of mine who signed for it. She has mentioned that she could get a default ruling in that case, though I am unsure how if the whole filing of her divorce case in California is based off of an improper filing.
It's a hell of a mess, are there every any clean divorces?
I assume, assumptions kill as we say in the Corps, that since us coming to an agreement would fast track this whole case(which we both want to have happen) she would be more willing to accept an offer of mine that was very similar to what the courts will most likely issue.