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Topics - flewwellin

#1
I just received this email from ANCPR.com and thought ya'll might be interested. the link is provided below



http://ancpr.com/blog/archives/13
#2
Dear Socrateaser / Parental Rights
Dec 29, 2005, 07:12:17 PM
For many reasons it has been decided that I want to terminate parental rights to my 2 minor children ages 6 and 4.  I live in NC they live in PA but NC holds jurisdiction.

1) If I give up my rights as their parent wouldn't my financial responsibilites be severed as well? (In regards to Child support)

2)  What would the steps be in order for me to get my rights terminated and child support order terminated?

3)  If my child support isn't terminated I don't want to give up my rights, how can I be sure the judge will cancel child support?

It may sound like I am trying to put a price tag on my children's head but that isn't the case.  I just feel that if I no longer have rights then my financial responsibilies should be terminated as well.
#3
Dear Socrateaser / Denial of Visitation
Dec 25, 2005, 08:44:56 PM
Court order is in place NC has jurisdiction of case still, I live in NC, ex lives in PA with children.  VA is the meeting place.

Custody order states:
" Every Christmas vacation from 2 pm on December 26th unil 2 pm on the day before school reconvenes at the end of Christmas Vacation."
- and -
" The holiday custodial schedule set forth above shall correspond with the holiday schedule of the school that the minor children attend.  Provided, however, if the minor children attend different schools with different holiday schedules or one child is not yet enrolled in school, the elder child's school schedule shall prevail unless the parties otherwise agree."

I spoke with ex about changing holiday custodial times I would be allowed to have children for 2 days on thanksgiving which we normally wouldn't have had this year, in return the ex would be allowed to have children until 2pm on the 28th.  Thanksgving plans fell thru, ex stated that I would only be allowed a few hours at her parents house with the children.  

The verbal agreement being changed by ex, I told her to be at our meeting place on the 26th at 2pm because she changed the plans.  I didn't see my children then and now Christmas she says she isn't going to meet me on the 26th.  She says she will be there on the 28th at 2pm if I want to see my children.  

Questions:
1) Because of the verbal agreement have I ruined chances of receiving recourse by filing for contempt of court?

2) If I am not able to receive a police report by VA state police (where we meet) will this contempt of court be difficult to prove even if we have receipts from some place showing the time I was there and one showing the time I left?
#4
For many reasons it has been decided that I want to terminate parental rights to my 2 minor children ages 6 and 4. I live in NC they live in PA but NC holds jurisdiction.

1) If I give up my rights as their parent wouldn't my financial responsibilites be severed as well? (In regards to Child support)

2) What would the steps be in order for me to get my rights terminated and child support order terminated?

3) If my child support isn't terminated I don't want to give up my rights, how can I be sure the judge will cancel child support?

It may sound like I am trying to put a price tag on my children's head but that isn't the case. I just feel that if I no longer have rights then my financial responsibilies should be terminated as well.

#5
General Issues / Funny Definitely Worth the Read!
Aug 17, 2005, 03:34:16 PM
I had to share this with you guys!  

Worst First Date Story
>
>  We have all had bad dates.. but this takes the cake. This just tells you
>  how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on the "Tonight Show" with
>  Jay Leno. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first
>  date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date
>  experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the
>  prize!
>
>  She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold... and the guy had
>  taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a
>  day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had
>  never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they
>  were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the
>  mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had
>  that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest
>  room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold
>  it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow
>  and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better
>  stop and let her pee beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his
>  car.
>
>  They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants
>  down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she
>  let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.  Her
>  companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was
>  a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was
>  the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the
>  situation.
>
>  Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.  As
>  she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were
>  firmly glued against the car's fender.
>
>  Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she
>  attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly
>  apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.
>  Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she
>  answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply
>  that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some
>  assistance!"
>
>  He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and
>  then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.
>  She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose
>  themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the
>  situation was, they also were faced with a real problem  Both agreed it
>  would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the
>  icy metal!
>
>  Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first
>  place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.
>  So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip
>  his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
>
>  As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize
>  hands down... or perhaps that should be "pants down." ..And you thought
>  your first date was embarrassing.
>
>  Jay Leno's comment .
>
>  "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off."
#6
General Issues / How many of you step moms..
Jul 19, 2005, 02:16:11 PM
How many step moms out there have started a family with DH and what were the reactions of the BM before baby was born and did the reaction change?
#7
Second Families / EVIL STEP MOM
Jul 13, 2005, 05:42:26 PM
I am 24 wks pregnant and we have the kids ( my step kids ages 4 & 6 ) for 5 wks this summer.  We've had them since July 4th and they go home August 8th.  I have been very moody during my pregnancy and feel like the wicked step mom!  I try so hard not to be mean or evil, but sometimes the way things come out seem evil.  It is just they are being very moody about everything, they whine constantly if they don't get what they want ( no I don't cave in) which makes for a bumpy ride. I work from home and tend to them all day. My husband is a tow truck driver and doesn't have a set schedule.  He only gets every other weekend off and therefore I can't even get away for a few minutes unless I go outside and they tend to follow even if I tell them to stay inside and play in their room.  They just don't listen.  I am so tired all the time. I can't rest well because if I am not up and moving around they come barging in my room tattling about something.  Anyone got any advice. I am looking for nice responses cause I am sticking myself out on the line and speaking the truth about my feelings.  They are driving me crazy!  I just was wondering if anyone had any ideas on how to help out my sittuation??  Thanks in advance.
#8
Okay I have only techniqually been a step mother since july '04.  My problem is the BM has always disliked me and has tried to cause both problems between my hubby and myself and really is quite difficult to work with.   It took her a full year before she would talk to me about the kids at all.  She said it wasn't my business.  I guess when my hubby and I got married she saw she couldn't run me off.  So now I ask those Step moms who have to deal with a difficult biological mother How do you do it?  


flewwellin
#9
Visitation Issues / Contempt of Court question
Dec 16, 2005, 06:27:09 PM
Okay little history before the questions... our court ordered visitation for this year is Thanksgiving with bm and christmas beginning on 26th with the kids father. (I'm stepmom) DH and BM had verbal agreement that thanksgiving she was going to be in town and we'd be able to have the kids for a couple days and we'd pick kids up on the 28th so they can go to Wisconsin to see step dad's family.  Well thanksgiving comes we call BM and ask if it's okay to come get kids.  BM changes her story and lies about what was agreed upon. DH tells BM she better be where we meet on the 26th of Dec cause he's going to be getting kids when the court says we can.  So BM says she won't be there.  I know she will be in contempt of court because she didn't follow thru with her verbal agreement.

My question....  What do we do when we get to the meeting spot if she doesn't show?  This is out of state.  NC holds jurisdiction and VA is meeting place.  BM lives in PA with kids.  
#10
A little background for all reading Dh is the NCP to one little girl age 6 and one little boy age 4.  We are all originally from North Carolina, June 2004 the BM was granted permission by the courts to move the two minor children up to Pennsylvania and gave us the following visitation schedule.

Even years:

1) Easter or spring break spent with father which ever holiday break that is the longest.
2) Summer is to be decided by the father what 5 wks he wants to have the kids must tell CP on or before May 1st.
3) Thanksgiving the first day of vacation with father to the day before school begins again.
4) Christmas holiday with the father from the 26th until the day before school begins again.
5) One weekend out of the month that we are able to make it to their home town started on Friday at 6pm and ends on Sunday at 6pm.  Must give CP at least 1 week notice.

Odd years:
every thing is the same except we don't get them at all on Thanksgiving.

Transportation:  

She is to meet us halfway and the drop off/ pick ups are designated for 2 pm.

*** So today she calls, and for some reason I decided to not answer the phone, good thing too, this is what she asks for on my voicemail.
---- She says since she plans to bring the kids down for Thanksgiving this year and she said we could see them and spend time with them would we mind if she kept the kids for Christmas this year because they wanted ( her and her new husband) to take the kids to Wisconsin to visit their step dad's side of the family. What is this crazy woman thinking??!!

Break down in amount of days a year:

Odd years:
Easter 5 days
Summer 35 days
Christmas 9 days
Equals     49 days we have the kids
             316 days she has the kids

Even years:
Add 5 days for Thanksgiving
Equals      54 days we have kids
              311 days she has kids

I didn't calculate the weekends we were allowed because we don't make enough money to allow for such a thing.  We haven't been able to go up one weekend out of the whole time they've been living in PA.  Have enough problems paying our bills that isn't a luxury that we are able to indulge in unfortunately.

Grrr I hate this pull and tug of the kids but we dont see them enough as it is!  Why would she even think about trying to take away MORE TIME from the kids to be able to spend time with their father??  And she claims she wants the kids to have a meaningful relationship with their father!  We even looked into moving closer to the kids although we really can't afford to do that either, we do have some equity that I would get when we sold the house (it's all in my name and was before Dh and I got involved).  So that's some cash to move closer but now she says that she and her new husband may be moving the kids about an hour to an hour and a half further west then they already are!  Good thing we didn't actually move!  DH says that every year since Devon the oldest (6) has been born she moved at least once a year, really stable sittuation there huh?
#11
Visitation Issues / Summer visitation starts now!
Jul 04, 2005, 11:13:57 AM
Well we got the kids from their grandma's house (on their mom's side) at noon!  We are so happy and excited!!  I've been looking forward to seeing them all summer, but obviously not as much as their daddy was!  We are having a 4th of july party and it's also kind of like a welcome home party for the kids.   Well just wanted to share my happiness with everyone!
#12
Okay to give everyone a little history:
May 2004 BM decided to move herself and children (now 6 & 4yrs old)  500+ miles from everything they know (from NC to PA).  When asked what would she do IF one or both of the kids decide to move back down here with us will she stand in the way?  At that time she said that she wouldn't like it but she wouldn't stand in their way.

Well this year the week before Easter my 4 year old step son decides he wants to live with us.  When we call and talk to them he refuses to talk to his father because he didn't go up there to pick him up.  It is now June and hasn't changed his mind.  He still will not talk to his father.  At this age I'd originally think that he would have forgotten about it and it was probably just a bad day that he had.  3 months later and he still feels this way.  Coincidense?  I don't think so.  What should we do??
There is nothing more in this world that my husband and myself would prefer than to have primary custody of the kids.  My step son wants this as well.  Now my Step-daughter wants to stay with her mother which is fine.

My step-daughter is favored by their mother.  Reason is SD was in hospital for the first 2 months of her life.  They didn't think she was going to make it.  She had Pertussis.  So there is that bond there.  I had pointed out the favortism to my DH and since then he said he's noticed it too.  When they are disciplined SD is reprimanded with a firm "NO"
SS is grounded, sent to his room ,can't play with his toys ,and at dinner time allowed down to eat and if he doesn't want what is on the table then he goes back to his room.  Fair?  I don't think so.  This I feel is partially the reason he wants to move in with us.  on the 4th of july we get them both for our summer visitation and they don't go back until the 2nd week in august.  Any advice on how we should approach this?  We want to get custody if that is what SS wants and clearly it is.

Please give me some advice and opinions


UPDATE: Called kids last night again.  SD talked to her father for a long time last night and when DH asked to talk to his son, SD said while she was passing the phone to SS "HERE YOU TELL HIM YOU WANT TO LIVE IN NORTH CAROLINA!"  So apparently it's no secret up there either that he would prefer to live with his father.  

We plan on waiting till the kids come down for summer vaca. to see if it's just that SS misses is daddy or if its truly his wish to move.  With that determined we will approach it from there.
#13
Well we were supposed to get the kids on the 26th until jan 2nd.  We ran into some really bad winter weather on the way up to Virginia to meet the BM to pick kids up.  Got to Raleigh NC and lost control of vehicle and ended up in a ditch.  Really bad driving conditions and not safe for the kids. There were no snow plows out on the interstates no salt trucks nothing.  We are from southern north carolina and rarely see snow so even with the best of driving, it was still very unsafe.  We called BM and told her we would call her back when we can arrange to get a different car for the trip.  Mind you court papers say we must meet them at 2 pm and it isn't even 8 am yet, our drive is a 4 hr drive.  By the time we get home we find another car we call her back and she doesn't answer.  And doesn't return msg's.  On the 27th WE call her back and ask what is going on?  She had left our two kids ages 5 & 3, with her cousin in PA and flew with her boyfriend to Wisconsin!!  I couldn't believe it!  So we FINALLY get up with her and she says that her mother was going up to PA to get the kids and we could get them on the 31st and bring them back to VA on the 2nd.  We were livid.  Needless to say just to be nice my hubby the kids BD is being way too nice and letting the grandparents keep them till today.  So after work we will go and get them.  I am so angry and need to know if there is anything I can file to take to court about this?  Maybe visitation interference?  I know techniqually we could have gone to the grandparents house to get them and should couldn't say anything.  But is there anything that can be filed in court to prevent this from happening again??  Sorry this is so long thought you'd need the history on sittuation before giving an opinion.

thanks, flewwellin
#14
I just received this as an email that I regularly get and thought it was worth sharing. The link is provided below.


http://ancpr.com/blog/archives/13
#15
Father's Issues / You won't believe this!!
Jul 09, 2005, 09:36:21 AM
I was just on another forum for step moms and step families, and there was a woman on there who said she was upset cause her husband wanted 50/50 custody of their 12 & 8 year old!  Not as if that is bad enough she used being a stay at home mom (he allows her to stay in the family home and reside still not working) as being the reason she should only allow him to see his kids every other weekend!!!!  This man has worked a full time job 75 miles away from the family home in order to provide a comfortable life for his family and now she is trying to persecute him??!!  That is crazy!  I had to post my opinion on there that she had to remember the Father has just as much right to his sons as she does, and that the only reason she was a stay at home mom was because HE worked a lot!  It just truly ticked me off to read her post.  I had to share this with you guys, it's like every other woman that posted "Felt her pain" yeah right they all would feel the same way.  It just disgusts me and I am a soon to be mom and a step mom of 2 it just makes me sick the way some women think!!!!!