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This is for Illinois:  

Stepdaughter, at the age of 13, was asked to leave by BM/CP 18 months ago with nothing, not even a coat on her back in January in Chicago.  There has been no contact between BM and stepdaughter and no legal intervention.  Sepdaughter wants nothing to do with BM (long history of emtional/physical abuse but courts found in BM favor).

The BM's current husband carries medical insurance and has attached it to our medical insurance for payment of anything our insurance does not cover, i.e. copayments, etc.  Consequently all co-pays, etc. we pay are reimbursed directly to BM's husband - which they keep.

Question #1:  Is this legal?

Question #2:  How can we get the husband's insurance disconnected from ours?   (Our insurance company says they cannot do it)

I reside in Illinois.  My son will be graduating next June and hopefully going on to college.  The concern is that he has been in special education since the age of 4 and was finally diagnosed two years ago with PDD - NOS which is a form of autism.  This has totally explained his quirks and learning disabilities.  He does wish to go on to college, however.  He has been unable to find a job.  He is up front when interviewing and advises them of his difficulties.  I suspect that is why he has not been hired.  Although his father has been paying his child support regularly (he is a federal employee - which is very strict in this area), he has never been supportive with our son when it comes to his learning disabilities.  Consequently I have dealt with it myself which included quitting a high paying job with the Federal Government in order to take care of him when he was younger.  

My concern is when he graduates and the child support terminates.  I have been saving in order to help him with college expenses but I do not see a way for him to help with the expenses and be able to handle the schoolwork.  I have been paying his car payment and car insurance for over a year which his father has refused to help even though his salary is in the triple digits.  The divorce decree states that support terminates upon high school graduate and that college expenses may be awarded depending on the parent's circumstances.  My questions are these:

1)  Does Illinois allow for child support to extend past the age of 18 (or after high school graduation)?

2)  Does Illinois allow for child support past graduation when the child is unable to support him or herself?

3)  Does Illinois allow for college support?

Although his father is most likely retiring next year also, he will have his federal and military retirement which will be in the triple digits also.  

4)  Can support still be awarded if the non-custodial parent is retired?

5)  What options do I possible have to help support my son based on his need?

6)  Can health insurance and reimbursement for health costs continue due to his diagnosis?  (He will be on medication and under a doctor's care for the rest of his life)

7)  How soon shoud I begin negotiating this with his father?

Thank you in advance.

Here is a short version of the background.  Attempted to gain custody of SD for 18 months.  BM worked for the lawyer and they used their evaluator.  Evaluator agreed BM had moral issues and was unstable but kept residence with BM and shortened extended visitation with BF during summer.  Made no sense.  BM came in with request for interim legal fees from us (she wasn't paying any) and fees for her lawyer to prepare evaluator for trial.  We paid the $6,000 for Evaluator.  Judge agreed.  We decided to drop it.

Two weeks later Department of Children and Family Services was called about the situation there (not by us) and contacted BM.  BM and Stepfather went off the deep end, physically assaulted the SD and eventually the stepfather told BM that she had to choose between him and their baby or SD.  Mother told SD to go live with father and that she was choosing stepfather and baby.  I was told to come and pick SD up.  She was not allowed to take anything with her, not even a coat (Chicago in December)  I was told to bring her clothes.

We are taking her to the orthodontist, doctors, dentists, we have changed our work schedules to transport her to and from school (different district).  We have purchased everything she needs.  She has had no contact with mother since 01/28/05 except for a few emails.

We also have her 18-year old sister living with us who was asked to leave two weeks before her 18th birthday.  She is 8 months pregnant.  She has had no contact with mother since July, 2004.

We are registering SD for high school tomorrow (in our school district).

Due to a clause in the parenting agreement that stated child support was abated after living with father continuously for more than 30 days, we went to court and finalized the child support last week.

Here are my questions:

1)  Since the SD is 14, can she refuse to go back to mother's home if the mother starts to push it (in Illinois)?  (lawyer stated she could)

2)  Is the BM responsible for her portion of medical bills if the parenting agreement stated that the father was?

3)  Since the BM has not once contacted the BF and has moved and changed cell phone numbers without telling us, does this constitute abandonment?

4)  Since the BM and stepfather had charges filed the weekend they twisted the SD's arm to take our cell phone away from her, why can't we get a copy of the police report (police states it has to do with SD being a minor)?

5)  Since stepfather is a high school teacher, is he required to tell the school he is employed at, about police reports and DCFS?

6)  SD is currently in counseling to deal with BM's behavior.  Are we required to tell the BM who she is seeing if the SD has requested that we not tell her?

Thanks.

  Dear Soc,

My husband's ex told their 14 year old daughter (after she ran away and DCFS was called on mom) to go live with her dad. The mom, who is CP, called me and said to bring over clothes and come pick her up. The mom sent her out of the door with a stuffed animal and gym clothes (no coat, not personal items, nothing).

What brought things to a head is that BM and stepdad twisted both daughter's arms back and BM slapped daughter in order to take away cell phone we had bought daughter in case she needed to contact us.  BM does not allow daughter to have private conversations.

Mom had packed up her room and put everything in boxes. This happened 15 days ago. Mom has called two times since telling daughter she wasn't changing custody but just letting her visit dad. Daughter will not talk to BM and BM has not talked to my husband.

We also have her pregnant 18 year old sister (who mom kicked out one week before turning 18) living with us. She is seeing a psychologist for all the emotional and verbal abuse her mom put her through. We are, of course, continuing to pay child support.

Quick background: We filed for custody 18 months ago but pulled out in December for numerous reasons. Daughters hate BM who is on her 4th husband and has bipolar episodes. The 14 year does not want to return home. We have the school counselor and social worker on our side.

We are now in a routine and our daughter is happy and adjusted.  We are in Illinois. Joint Parenting Agreement states after 4 weeks child support can stopped.

Our lawyer is stating that there is nothing we can do and that when mom decides daughter needs to go home, we have no recourse. We would like to go in for emergency temporary custody because the mom told her to get out and live with dad.  We expect to hear something when the four weeks are up because BM cannot survive without child support.

1.  Do you think we should talk to another lawyer?

2.  Is there anything you can think of that we can do to keep our daughter with us where she is safe?