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I have two orders, one in Alaska and one in Washington. I work in Oregon.

I was employed by a Oregon employer for 2 years and had an Alaska CS order garnishing my wages. I left the employer almos a year ago and moved (still in OR) and have a new employer. That employer has wage garnishment notices from Alaska and now from Washington.

Combined I owe about $3k in arrears associated with being in between jobs and retro in the Washington case.

Last month I opted to cash out my 401k from my previous employer. With this payment be garnished? I don't believe that employer ever got notice from Washington and don't the withholding notices terminate when employment terminates?

Posted this on Soc's board too...


Child support has not been set in my case yet. We have a hearing sometime in Oct. for the amount to be determined. I currently live in Southern Oregon and my wife (Divorce is not final) moved to Spokane, WA with our son without my "permission". The travel cost is a major financial hardship for excersising my parenting time. In fact, I will be filing Chapt. 7 next week.

I am looking at moving to Spokane but the job market (in my field) is very limited there and I will need to switch fields. I am looking at the possibility of a $30,000+ pay cut when I move. After the chapt. 7, I will be able to live on the new salary but I'm concerned that the court will consider this being "voluntarily underemployed" and set CS based on my previous salary.

Do you have any insight on this? Will I be punished for moving closer and having to take a lower paying job?

My son is too young to transfer planes so he can only fly direct flights.  That means right now he flys into Portland and I drive 5.5 hours each way to pick him up.  This will be very dangerous in the winter as there are two passess (5000') that we would have to go over.

My salary would still be over the state's "standard" that they use for umputing income.

Wife, child (born in Oregon) and I lived in Oregon for 5 years. We moved to Washington and lived there for 3 years but I still worked in Oregon.  We then moved back to Oregon and lived here for 7 months.  My wife left with our son and lived in Alaska for 6 months and is now in Washington State (1.5 months).

She has requested CS in Washington and they contacted me. She has been in Washington for about a month and half. I have filed for divorce in Oregon and have asked for custody.  She avoided service for a few months until we served her boyfriend instead of her. Her boyfriend told the process server on several occasions that he didn't know her and she didn't live there.

The CS office in Washington told me that they have jurisdiction but after reading their rules it is very shaky and I believe that Oregon actually has jurisdiction.

I received a notice in the mail from the CS division asking if I would send them proof of insurance for our son. I was just sent via regular mail and didn't say anywhere on it that I was required to answer. I'm wondering if they are hoping I answer thus allowing them jurisdiction.

My question is as follows:

Is there any reason for me to push to have the CS order brought to Oregon or should I just let Washington do it?  Additionally, does Oregon have jurisdiction over custody?

Divorce has been settled for about 2 years and my parenting time with our 8-year old son has been wonderful.  She lives in Washington state, I live in Oregon.  I buy 18 plane ticket per year and she buys 6.

She just called and told me that she was mailing notification that they are moving to Nevada in a couple weeks.  She told me she knew she isn't giving me the proper notice but hopes that we can make it work.  

The current ticket cost for me is $130 each ticket.  The new cost is $261.  I asked if there was any way she could pick up some addition tickets.  She said their finances won't allow it.

Our salaries are about this Me: 80% her:20%

The added cost is a big hit for me financially.

I know I can object to the move and it will cause them to postpone the move and I will get a hearing but I'm pretty sure the court isn't going to stop them from moving.  Her husband's job is relocating him.  Maybe if I lived in the same town but not since he's already traveling to be with me.

What are my options?

Should I just dig deeper in my pocket and get the $$?

Should I propose me getting her years for claiming him on taxes?

We had a pretty nasty 2+ year divorce fight and we are just now on speaking terms, I don't want to go back to lawyers..

I spoke with my 6 year old son yesterday who lives in Washington State and has been sick for the last 8 days and not attending school.  He told me that he has been staying home by himself while his mom is at work.  This concerned me as I do not believe he is mature enough to be left by himself for what turned out to be 3 hours.

I tried talking to his mom but she just told me to "f-off" so I called to talk to CPS.  CPS told me that Washington State has no limits on the age a child can be left alone and it has to do with maturity level.  

After talking to me, CPS called the police department who called my ex to talk about it.  She told them it was only for 30-minutes and then she called me and cussed me out.

I have his school attendance records that show his absence and I'm sure her timesheets would show when she was at work.

My questions:

1. Would a resonable person think that 6 years old is old enough to be home alone?

2. If proven, will this help me eventually get a custody reversal?

3. Is there anything else I can do to have this looked into?

4. Does this make me look like a trouble maker?  Should I have just left it alone?

I finally got an email from my ex regarding my Thanksgiving time that I am supposed to get.  She said that I only gave her 19 days notice instead of the 21-days required by the order so she didn't buy the ticket and I wasn't going to get my time.

The order states that I must give 21-days notice of my intention to excercise my parenting time.  I sent a fax to her attorney months ago saying I planned on excercising "all" of my time in the parenting plan.  He says that is insufficient and she says that I didn't send it letter to her and since her attorney doesn't buy the tickets, that doesn't work.  I also have a affidavit from a dissinterested 3rd party that I had witness a call between mom and I (on speakerphone) well in advance of the 21 days notice discussing my Thanksgiving time.

I am also supposed to have our child for "the half of winter break that includes Christmas".  Mom sent the ticket information and it has him returning on the 23rd.

I don't think that I can do anything about Thanksgiving at this point.  I faxed a letter and a copy of the order to the sheriff asking that he keep it on file.  Do you think I could drive over there and get a deputy to help with the order?

On Christmas, should I just buy my own return ticket for him and not send him back until after Christmas?

I guess I can't do anything about this except file contempt???????

I had the conference with the judge today and he started it by saying he wanted to get a settlement by the end of the meeting.  He had our settlement agreement and asked my wife and her attorney if they agreed with it and they said yes.  He then asked me (I did agree with it but figured it never hurt to ask for more) I said that I pretty much agreed but had some issues with it.

The judge asked what my issues were and I told him that I wanted more time with my son.  He wanted to know what I wanted so I shot the moon.  I said that I wanted every long weekend in the year, I wanted Christmas break, Thanksgiving break, Spring break, half of summer break, my sons birthday, my birthday, fathers day, and on top of all of that, one additional weekend per month.

The judge then went through the calendar and picked out the additional weekend each month and said "that sounds reasonable"  IT WAS AT LEAST 2 AND MOSTLY 3 PERIODS EACH MONTH!!!

He then asked my wife if she agreed and she said that she didn't because she worked 6 days a week and could afford the ticket costs and the time away from work to drop off/pick up.  The judge told her that that's the cost of being a parent and moving away.

He then asked about anything else and I told him that I wanted to include my bankruptcy and that she agrees to my petition and I did not want a hold harmless clause.  He said fine, her attorney said fine.

I said that I wouldn't agree to any spousal support and that I wanted a 200 per month credit on my child support.  Again, the judge said "that is reasonable"

At the end the judge said that we are now going on record.  He read everything and told my wife that by agreeing she was giving up her right to go to trial and to ever get spousal support.  She said yes that she agreed after heated discussion with her attorney.

The judge then said that the agreement was on record and the her attorney was to fax it to me and I was to sign it and fedex it back.

Her attorney called tonight to let me know that he was faxing it and that he wanted to make sure I would mail it.  I told him that I would because I was happy with the outcome.  He said "well, you should be."

Looks like I'm done!!!!!

Oh, and the judge made me drop the contempt charge.

My wife has been denying my phone calls.  I just got an email from her telling me that she isn't going to let me call on Saturdays because the court order doesn't say she has to (it does).  

Is this further proof of her denial?  

Is it worth anything in court?

I am putting together the papers to file.  The form asks for remedies.  All I want is for her to answer the phone and let me speak to our child.  What other remedies are there?  Can I ask for reimbursment of my travel expenses associated with filing the papers, going to court, etc.?

Can I serve her attorney or does it have to be served on her?

My temp parenting plan originally said that I was allowed phone contact with my son while he was with hi s mother.  After months of her not answering the phone I went to court for clarification.

The judge acted miffed that I wasn't being allowed phone access and modified the parenting plan to state that I was allowed phone calls on Mon, Wed, and Sat. at 7:30 pm.

Since the clarification, the mother has not answered the phone 15 of the 29 times.  On one of the occastions she took the phone away from my son while he was talking to my girlfriend and told her she couldn't talk to him and hung up.

I called her attorney last week and he assured me that he would talk to her that day to tell her to answer the phone.  Since then, she still hasn't answered the phone.

Is this denial of visitation?  Is this something worth pursueing as contempt?

This may sound dumb or paronoid but I can't help it...

I am signing final orders in front of a notary for disso, CS, and parenting plan then mailing them to my wife's attorney for his signature and then he's going to file them.

After going back and forth on the hold harmless provision, I have completely removed it.

I only sign the last page of these documents.  What's to keep the attorney (aside for ethics, etc.) from simply attaching the signature page to whatever he wants and filing it with the court?  He could change anything he wants in the order and it would just be his word against mine on whether or not it was that way when I signed.

Paranoid, I know, I've just learned to hope for the best but expect the worst with this case...

I have my 341 meeting today for my chapter 7 bankruptcy.  The settlement papers that my wife's attorney and I stipulated to are sitting on my counter unsigned by me for the following reasons:

1) The debt is all listed as being my responsibility.
2) There is a hold-harmless provision regarding the debt.

My bankruptcy attorney told me not to sign it because the hold-harmless provision could very well make my (marital) debt non-dischargeable.

Here are some facts:

My bankruptcy is in the State of Oregon, a non community property state
The divorce is in Washington State, a community property state
None of the debt is joint debt (wife's name is on none of it)
Some of the credit card debt occurred while we both lived in Washington
We have been separated for almost 2 years
Divorce was filed about 10-months ago
There has never been a request for support

Text of the hold harmless provision: "Each party shall hold the other party harmless from any collection action relating to separate or community liabilities set forth above, including reasonable attorney's fess and costs incurred in defending against any attempts to collect an obligation of the other party"

Here are my questions:

1) After my debt has been discharged, can the state court reassign the debt to me in the decree?

2)  Would the state court see the debt as a liability for my wife even though none of the accounts were joint?

3) If I sign the settlement that lists all of these debts as my responsibility and includes the hold harmless provision, will that supersede the bankruptcy?

4) After the bankruptcy don't the discharged debts cease to be my "obligation" under the hold harmless provision?

5) If you were my wife's attorney, what would you be doing to protect your client from my bankruptcy?

After over a year, my wife and I (through her attorney) finally signed the final orders for parenting, dissolution, and child support.  

Her attorney was to file the papers with the court this week.  Yesterday, I received the notice that my BK attorney had filed my papers for Chapter 7.  He was supposed to wait until after the divorce but for whatever reason (haven't gotten a hold of him yet) they were already filed.

My wife's attorney called yesterday after he found out about the bankruptcy and told me that that puts a hold on all the divorce proceedings until January.  He said my wife was livid as she planned to be wed by the end of the year.  He told me that I needed to petition the bankruptcy court to lift the automatic stay so he could file the papers.

Can the stay be lifted for this purpose only?  If I petition to have the stay lifted, am I putting myself at risk?

I received the parenting plan, child support order, and dissolution papers from my wife's attorney yesterday.  In mid July he, my wife, and I sat down and came up with a settlement.  The papers came with instructions that I had "15-days to sign and return or the "offer" was off the table."

He also told me on the phone that he was not willing to change anything; it was "take it or leave it"

Almost everything is what we agreed to with the following exceptions:

1.   He left out the "right to first refusal" that we agreed to.
2.   Transportation was supposed to be "receiving parent picks up" and he made it where I have to send my wife money for half a plane ticket. (I was hoping to have the option of the train)  The current order has my wife paying for 100% travel.
3.   For some reason he put the transportation section in the child support order instead of the parenting plan.
4.   He included a "hold harmless" section for debt since he knows I filed for BK.
5.   I was to be allowed to request 1 "extra" weekend per month if I paid all costs.  He included it but stated "as long as there isn't a conflict with the mothers schedule"  We have the same thing in our temp order and she has refused every weekend that I have asked for since the order has been in place.

Are any of these items worth a hassle?  We have a trial date in December that my wife says is not acceptable because she wants to get married before the end of the year.  

I would like to have the "extra" weekends added to the plan as normal parenting time and have the transportation for all times be receiving parent picks up.

How can I address these things without being made to look like I'm being difficult?

I met with my wife and her attorney on July 14 and we came up with an agreement so we could get things settled.

On 8/9 I sent a fax to the attorney asking for an update and for a small addition to the agreement.  He responded right away saying that the addition sounded fine and that he appreciated my patience since he had some family issues he had been dealing with.  He wrote that he should have everything wrapped up "very soon".

Yesterday my wife told me that her attorney mailed everything out 3 weeks ago to both my old and my new address.  I have not received anything.

I have tried calling the attorney but only get an answering machine that says the mailbox is full.

Is there anything I can/should do?

A second issue that has come up is with my son's last name.  Our last weekend together he told me that he didn't want to change his name but his mom said he had to.  I asked my wife about it and she said that although he would be enrolled in school under my last name, he was going to have her boyfriends last name as his "preferred" name.  Is there anything I can do about this?  Should I just leave it be?

In our current stipulated order it says that we both agree to the future appointment of a GAL.  Now that I am wondering if I will ever hear from the attorney regarding our settlement, I am thinking about requesting the GAL.

Our son is VERY vocal about wanting to see me more and last night on the telephone he told me that his mom took his pictures of me and wouldn't let him call me.  I could hear mom in the background telling him to stop saying that and he replied right back with "I will tell my dad anything I want"

I'm wondering if a GAL would be appropriate in this case.  The settlement (if it ever comes) is very agreeable on my part.

My divorce is not yet final but I will be moving in a couple of weeks.  I have searched for a form for the State of Washington (Spokane County) to provide the notification but have not been able to find any.  Can I just use the "Notice Of Attorney Change Of Address"?

Child support has not been set in my case yet.  We have a hearing sometime in Oct. for the amount to be determined.  I currently live in Southern Oregon and my wife (Divorce is not final) moved to Spokane, WA with our son.  The travel cost is a major financial hardship for excersising my parenting time.  In fact, I will be filing Chapt. 7 next week.

I am looking at moving to Spokane but the job market (in my field) is very limited there and I will need to switch fields.  I am looking at the possibility of a $30,000+ pay cut when I move.  After the chapt. 7, I will be able to live on the new salary but I'm concerned that the court will consider this being "voluntarily underemployed" and set CS based on my previous salary.

Do you have any insight on this?  Will I be punished for moving closer and having to take a lower paying job?

Had the hearing before the judge Friday regarding my motion for clarification.

The judge agreed with my clarification on travel (wife's attorney agreed to it during his arguments), she also agreed to my set schedule for phone calls, her attorney argued against it.  

The other items I was asking for where things to prevent parental alienation.  She wouldn't allow my suggested language but she did order that if the child wishes to display any photos each parent would allow it.

After the judge finished she stated to me that these things should have all been worked out without going to court and that, with my salary, if I kept it up I could find myself paying for my wife's attorney.  I explained that I had tried and referenced the exhibits as proof but she she told me to talk with my wife's attorney and stay out of court...

After, while my wife's attorney and I were writting the order I asked him if they wanted to have a settlement conference since I was in town.  So we all sat down at his office and worked out a beginning to settlement.

My wife seemed a little angry about the settlement decisions.  Her attorney kept bringing up holiday's that I forgot and offering them to me.  My wife offered me 30-days in the summer and her attorney answered right back that 5-weeks was half and they should offer that to me.  He also said that he would right a provision that if I moved to the area that I would get substancially more time!!!  She wasn't happy with that!

The only thing that I didn't like was he wanted a hold harmless clause in case I filed bankruptcy.

So, in summary:

I got every long weekend in the year.
Alternating xmas, thanksgiving
Half of every winter break, springbreak, summer (July 4 of every year)
Joint everything (at the objections of my wife)
split travel costs
set weekends during March and Oct. (no long weekends)
Right to first refusal if I'm in the area (wife was upset at this)
I get all of the marital property (and debt)
No alimony
No attorney fees
CS will include substancial credits for me (lower my monthly amount by $250)

After the meeting my wife and I walked back to the courthouse and sat in the back for about an hour.  She said that she promised to stop all the crap if I would.  Then we laughed and joked and talked about life.

I feel good...

Hey Soc,

I need some more guidance/advice here...

I just finished with a little over a week of residential time with my son and had a great time!  Unfortunately, there were a few things that concerned me and those around me.  I tried to talk to my wife about them but she told me in an email that she found these things funny and that she wasn't going to talk to me about any of them.

1.  Our son (6) continues to tell me that he has secrets that the boyfriend told him he would get into lots of trouble if he told anyone.

2.  When we picked him up at the airport, he was dirty, fingernails (and toenails) were grown out way beyond his fingers/toes.

3.  None of his clothes fit and his underwear was so tight they were cutting into him.

4.  He told us that the boyfriend smokes around him (he said it hurts his eyes)

5.  He told us that mom works all the time and he has to stay home with the boyfriend.  He said the boyfriend makes him sit and watch TV the whole time.

6.  He told us that they don't have much food.

7.  He told us that mom and boyfriend say bad things about me and make him do the same and it hurts his feelings.

The most concerning thing is he called me into the bathroom after going #2 and said that I needed to clean him (he's been doing this on his own for 2 years), I told him that he could do it himself and he then said "this is how [boyfriend's name] tells me we have to do it" and he showed me.  It was a bit disturbing and not at all how an adult would ordinarily clean a child.

I didn't make a big deal about it with him because although it bothers me, I don't know if it's anything.  After a day of thinking about all of the above and our son's behavior, he kept mooning us saying that the boyfriend taught him how to do it, I decided to try to talk to his mother about it.  I asked her if she would bring our son in to talk to a counselor if I paid for it.  She basically told me to buzz off that it wasn't my business.

From what I understand, mom is now working 2 jobs.  She has called at 7 am and told me she was on her way to work then called at 10 pm saying she just got off work.  Our son spends that time with the boyfriend.

She told me that she had to go to some kind of government sponsored place to get bread and cheese and other things.  I gave them money for food and bought our son about $400 worth of clothing last week.

Our son has been very vocal about not wanting to go back and wanting to stay with me but for all I know, he's saying the same thing to his mother.

I feel and truly believe that I can provide the better home for our son.  Financially and emotionally.  I have very actively kept his mom in his life when he is with me.  I have provided guidance on what is going on by purchasing and reading to him divorce books for kids.  I have a good, stable, happy home.

Is there anything I can do (or should do) to #1; make sure he is safe, #2; allow him to live with me?

I submitted a motion for clarification on our temp parenting plan.  In my declaration, I state the issues very clearly, state why the issues are a problem, state what I've done to try to resolve the issue outside of court,  state what I am asking for as far as clarification, and show why this is not a change of the parenting plan but is instead what the plan intended.

The reply declarations from my wife and her boyfriend are very poorly written, have no paragraph breaks, have misspellings, and basically state "he is lying, he's bad, we're good".

The reply declarations do not address the issues at all.  They don't state facts, they don't ask for my clarification motion to be denied, they don't touch on my issues at all.  They bring in other things such as this "after my son returns from his visits with his father he is distant and doesn't even want to look at me.  This means that my husband is telling him bad things about me".

Do I reply to this crap?  I have evidence that would dispute what they are saying such as the following:

cell phone bills that show calls
video of my son and I together
witnesses that I say good things about my wife in front of our son
pictures of my son in his room that show pictures of his mom hanging on the wall

or do I ignore it knowing that the judge will see it for what it is?

If you would like, I can email you the declarations that they submitted.

h

I'll try to keep this short...

My wife called very upset because she found out the judge set the divorce trial date for early Dec.  She said "this HAS to be done by August!!"

She also begged me to cancel a hearing that I requested for clarification on our temp parenting plan for next week because she said she can't afford her attorney or to take time off from work.  I could hear her boyfriend yelling in the background.  When I pressed, she told me that they had a wedding date all ready set and they HAD to make it.

I told her I was in no hurry because I wanted to do things right.  I also reminded her that I have sent 2 settlement offers to her attorney and I never heard a response.  She told me she never saw it.

Today I requested a hearing for the admin CS orders and she called freaking out because that means she won't get CS for a while longer.  I have our child right now and I have provided him with $500 in clothing and gave her money last week for other things.

I sent her a parenting plan a few days ago that I said I would agree to.

I also spoke with her attorney today and asked him why he hadn't sent my offers to my wife.  He told me that his communication with his client was none of my business.  He then told me that I had a choice, he could either work on his response to my clarification motion this week or he could work on the settlement.  I told him that was between he and his client.  He then got pretty upset and told me that if I wanted to go to trial that that was fine with him.  

He then told me that there was plenty he could do to speed the process up and get everything finalized very soon.

What is it that he can do to speed this up?  The boyfriend is cracking and I think if I can keep the pressure on, I can get my wife to agree to what I want.  

I'm a little worried that her attorney can do something to get this finalized (in her favor) sooner than the Dec. trial date.  What should I be watching for?

I posted this on the father's issues board but wanted to get your oppinion too.


I went to Washington State last week so I could spend the weekend with my son and pay a visit to the court to find out how hearings, etc. go.

While at the court, my wife called me and wanted to know if I was in town yet. When I told her that I was and that I was at the court house, she became very concerned and asked if she could come down and meet with me to hopefully come to agreement on terms.

She showed up with her boyfriend and her boyfriends mom but she and I went into one of the mediation rooms alone and started working on things. We actually got along very well and laughed and joked and she was pretty much agreeing to everything.

After about an hour her boyfriend just walks in and asks how things were going. I didn't have a problem with that and my wife and I both told him things were very good.

The boyfriend then picks up the calendar that we were working on and asks my wife "how much time are we giving him". I said "I'm not trying to be a jerk here but you need to understand that this is between Jane and I and you need to stay in the background"

The boyfriend then tells me, "this is a group decision not just you two"  He continues by saying that unless he agrees, there is no agreement.

Is there anything I can do to stop this? Is this just how it is?

Over the weekend my son told me that his mom and her boyfriend make fun of me and ask that he join in.  He told me that it hurts his feelings.  I suggested that the next time they do it he just tell them that it hurts his feelings.

Our order states the following:

"Neither parent shall make derogatory comments, disparaging comments, or comments about the other parent which could have the effect of diminishing the love and affection that the children have for the other parent.  Neither parent shall make these kinds of comments in the presence of or in the hearing range of the children, nor shall either parent allow anyone to make such comments in the presence of or within the hearing range of the children."

Is there anything I can do to address this or should I ignore it?

I am interviewing for a position in Spokane where my son is.  I realize that I need to be closer to him since I don't have the $$ for the travel.

Should I adress this in any way in my custody negotiations?

Should I even let them know that I am looking at moving?

I have a letter from my former attorney letting me know that I have a Joint Case Status Conference before the judge next week.

He told me I need to collaborate with opposing counsel to draft a Domestic Joint Case Status Report.

I haven't been able to get opposing counsel to return any messages, letters, or faxes for a few weeks.  How should I address this report completion?

Also, do you know if this is something I need to do in person at the court house?

I have been trying to call my son since Wednessday.  I have called once each day and left a message asking my wife to please have our son call me back.  I have also sent a letter requesting the name of our son's school so I can call and find out when his "graduation" is so I can attend and I have asked for their mailing address so I can send our son letters.

Yesterday I called and left a message letter her know that I would be forced to file contept charges if she continued to keep me from speaking to our son.  When I had him she called 3 times a day and when we couldn't get to the phone, I always had our son call her back.

She called last night at 10:30 to tell me that she worked until 10:00 at night and her boyfriend had our son during the day so she isn't able to have him call me.  She than forbid me from leaving anymore messages telling her I would file contempt charges.

Any suggestions on how I should handle this?

I had a wonderful visit with my son!!!  There were a few things that happened that I'm not sure how to deal with and could use your advice.

1. At dinner my son announced to us that he had secrets and that "Joey" (wife's bf) told him he would get into trouble if he told.  That's something that no parent wants to hear their child say but I don't know what to do about it.  How can I address this?  Do I send a letter to my wife's attorney?  I don't want it to be something small and my son to get in trouble from his mom for saying anything because then he may never trust me.  There was no indication of any kind of abuse and I really don't want to start some big thing.

2. My son said "Joey" smokes around him.  I doubt the smoking is in the house with my son and I don't want to cause "trouble".

3. When I checked my son in for his return flight the counter agent told me I had to pay $30 as the fee for him traveling alone.  Since the order states: "The mother will purchase an airline ticket for the child to travel accompanied by airline personnel to and from XXXX, Oregon.  The father shall meet the child in XXXX, Oregon and transport the child to and from his place of residence."  I called my wife and let her know that she needed to give the ticket agent a credit card for the fee.

Wife's BF called me and gave me a ton of crap then gave his credit card information.  The airline said they don't allow payment of the fee ($30 each way) for roundtrip.  I would like to ask that on future parenting time, my wife sends the $30 in an envelope for our son's return trip.  Is that okay?

Please let me know what you think about this offer I just got on the Fax after talking with my wife's attorney.

My time with our son:

June 3-5
June 25-July2
July 16-23
August 13-20
September 2-5
October 14-16
November 23-27
December 16-23
January 13-16
February 17-20
March 3-5
March 31-April 9
May 26-29

Transportation will be that I pick him up in Portland (4.5 hour drive for me)

Additionally, if I pay the transportation costs I can have one extra weekend per month.

These is a temp plan offer and I told him that I would do it.

What are your thoughts on this?

My wife's attorney says that they are going to ask for a "gradual visitation" schedule.  He says, something like a few hours a week in Spokane for the first 6 months and within a year have it up to weekends.

They know that I can't afford the 20-hour round trip drive every week.

He says because I haven't seen my son for almost a year or spoken to him since Feb. that this is needed.  My goodness!!!!  She has kept him from me.

How do I combat this?

I am currently paying CS through an administrative order in WA.

I got a call from the attorney today and he wants me to send him a copy of my pay stub.  Neither my wife nor I have submitted any financial declarations in our dissolution that is still on-going.

I'm hesitant to send him any infomation at this time that I don't absolutely HAVE to.  He made it sound like he HAD to have the information in order for him to respond to my proposed parenting plan.  I asked if my wife would be submitting her financial declaration and he said no.

I asked about our 6/3 hearing and he said that he thinks we can come to agreement before then.  I asked what changes he was going to suggest and he said he would just send it all at once.

Should I send him my pay stub?

The family law facilitator in Spokane just sent me a message letting me know that she didn't see a "proof of service" on the other party for the June 3 hearing.

On both the Motion and the OSC I included the following:

STATE OF OREGON, County of COUNTY   ) ss.

CERTIFICATE  - TRUE COPY
   I hereby certify that the foregoing copy of MOTION/DECLARATION TO SHOW CAUSE and ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE are a complete and exact copy of the originals.
   
   MY NAME
                Respondent, Pro Se

   DATED this ______ day of May, 2005.





CERTIFICATE OF SERVICE - MAILING
   I certify that on May _______, 2005, I served a certified true copy of MOTION/DECLARATION TO SHOW CAUSE and  ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE by depositing said true copies thereof, certified by me as such, contained in a sealed envelope, with postage prepaid, addressed to the following at his last known address, to-wit:

ATTORNEY NAME
ATTORNEY ADDRESS

   And deposited in the post office at CITY, Oregon, on said May _____,2005.


   
   MY NAME
                Respondent, Pro Se


I sent it return recipt and have the return part back showing the attorney received it.  Is there something else I need to do?  I sent a message back to the facilitator but I don't usually hear back from her for a few days.

...I just got this back from the facilitator:

Mr. NAME:
 
Normally a show cause is to be personal service on the Petitioner and if service by mail was allowed, I don't think you could send a copy that has not even reached the court and been considered or signed, so I cannot tell you if the court will accept this or not.  Sorry you will have to wait and see what happens on the day of your hearing or get Mr. Attorney to agree that it is OK I guess?  I really can't help you there.

I have been faxing copies of all documents to my wife's attorney that I mail to him.  For example, the day I mail a motion to he and the court, I also fax the attorney a copy.

Is this a "good" thing to do?  I am doing it out of courtesy but I don't want to be accused of burning up his fax paper.

Is there a size limit?  For example, I have a set of interrogatories that I will be mailing to him today that is about 15 pages.  Should I fax this large of a document or just mail it?