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We are looking for forms to fill out to terminate child support for my husband's son.  He is 20 years old and will be 21 real soon, and we want to get the paperwork in motion so not to hold up anything when he turns 21.  

I can't seem to find anything online, I looked at the county's Support Collection Unit website, but could not find anything.

Also what proof would we have to show that he has turned 21 and support should be terminated.  We do not have a copy of his birth certificate but I assume the Support Collection unit has his birthdate on record.  I know these things take time and I am assuming we will have to have the Family Court send us something that his support order is no longer valid or has been satisfied, etc. then we will need the court to issue a new Income Execution to stop payments being garnished from my husband's paycheck.

Any help anyone can give us would be wonderful.  

Thanks,

Hi all,

We go to see the lawyer on Wednesday to see if DH's support payments can be terminated.

Recap:  His son is 18 years old, soon to be 19 in 9 days from now.  He graduated from high school in June, is working a full time job, living in his own apartment with girlfriend, has not lived with his mother for 13 months.  On those grounds we want to see if we can get his court ordered support payments terminated on the grounds he is living outside the control of the custodial parent and supporting himself.  We are in New York by the way, and this state says you pay until the child is 21.  

I was getting all the paperwork together to take with us on Wednesday and my husband is being so difficult to talk to about this.  He is so negative, I know he does not like dealing with this, I hate it as much as he does.  But I am just trying to help so we know what we need to talk to the lawyer about when we go there for we only have 30 minutes.  Why is DH so afraid of his son's mother?  I have still to figure this one out, and we have been together almost 16 years.  They were never married.  He keeps saying with his luck they will probably say we pay no matter what til the kid is 21.  I wish I knew of some cases like ours that went our way so I could reassure him people can win cases like ours.  But he has had it with this woman and he just wants this whole thing over.  

She has bled him dry.  I think too he is afraid of if she catches wind that we are talking to a lawyer she will take him back to court and his support payment will get jacked up and we will have to sell things off to just be able to stay in our house.  Would a judge really award more money to a mother who the kid has not lived with her for the past 13 months and is living in his own place with his girlfriend?

I think we both are just nervous, if anyone knows of any cases that have been won like ours, please send them my way.

Thanks,
 

Hi all,  

Stepson is 18 years old, graduated in June from high school, living in his own apartment, working full time, etc. etc.  

We have our appt. with a lawyer to find out about support obligations.  I am  hoping we can get everything out in the open in our 1/2 hour consultation to find out what our options are.

What things should I bring with me to this appt??  I want to be prepared.  I will bring a copy of DH's support order.  

The custodial parents has sent us some bills that are over and above child support and she is asking us to help her with them, we feel they are not needs just wants for the child, we are not sure they are our responsibility, can we bring these and find out if we are obligated to pay them or not?

We are in NY state by the way.  And if they tell us support continues until the child is 21 years old, can we have the support order changed to reflect the child receiving the money, not the mother.  He has not lived under his mother's roof since July, 2004.  From July 2004 through June 2005 he lived with h is girlfriend and her parents, in June 2005 he and the girlfriend moved into their own apartment together.  

Thanks for any help.

**Crossing our fingers that the end is near**

Mom2boys

My husband's support order does not state anywhere on the document til what age, time, etc. he is ordered to pay child support.  They were never married so there is no divorce decree to check.  

Just wondering since we are contacting a lawyer this week to hear our case to have his support stopped on grounds that his son graduated from high school last week, is holding down a full time job, is living in his own apartment with his girlfriend, etc.

Any help would be great.

You people are wonderful on this board.

I have posted here before.  My DH has a son from a previous relationship, they were never married.  Son was born in 1986, he is 18 years old now, going to be 19 this August.  

To make a very long story short.  This has been a real off and on again relationship with our stepson.  It is painful and all the awful things the CP has told this poor kid has really hurt all of us, mostly him but she does not care about that.

In 2002, DH got a new job earning considerably more money.  At that time she was entitled to about $30 more a week in child support.  At that time things were going really well for all of us.  She wrote us a letter stating she did not want to take DH back to court to increase monies and make everyone suffer.  Instead she asked for our help with his lunch money each month, I would send $40 a month for his lunch that was done on a debit card type of thing, and also wanted help with his recreational expenses.  I know, kind of vague.

Up until now, has been kind of run of the mill things, yearbook, prom tux, pictures, you know that sort of thing.

Last week we got a letter from her entitled "Final Expenses for XXXX" which made us think that she thinks the support is ending.

In this bill was a $14 dental bill and $90 bill for glasses, okay we are obligated to pay a % of all uninsured medical.  But also was a bill for his cap and gown, a $300 class ring and $200 senior pictures.  And she said, does not include expenses for the already planned graduation party.

Now we don't mind helping out, but I think a $300 class ring is a little excessive and why should we be expected to help pay for her graduation party she is throwing for him.  

DH contacted his son and told him we wanted to throw him a graduation party for our side of the family, and he was oh great, thanks Dad.  He told his son to stop over so we could go through all the details and pick a date, for we did not want to have it the same weekend as his mom's.  We were thinking of her.  We never heard from him.  Then we found out that she took it upon herself to invite my husband's mother and our brother and sister in law to her party.  Needless to say we weren't happy about this.

That is not the worst of it, in this letter she accuses my husband of saying something really awful about his son, which he never said.  He is very hurt by the whole thing and has not talked to his son.  He isn't even invited to the graduation ceremonies.

We also found out he is living in his own apartment and working full time now.

Our question is, can we go to a lawyer and ask for t he support to be terminted on the grounds he is finsihed school, living in his own apartment, and working full time.  

Oh by the way we are in NY, yes the laws in NY must be changed, it is absolutely ridiculous that the age is 21.  I totally agree if the child is still in college you must continue to pay, but not in our case......

My husband has a son who is 18 and turning 19 this summer. He will graduate from high school in June. He has a full time job when he graduates and does not plan on going on to college. According to the great state of NY my husband has to pay support until he is 21 years old. While we don't mind paying support for his son, he moved out of his mother's home in July of 2004. And has not been benefited from his support. The mother has given no money to the family he is living with. My husband called Support Collection Unit in our area to ask a few questions. They told us that we could get the payments changed and sent to the son. They also told him support would even continue if he gets married, is this right????I asked that question here and someone told me it would be considered a gift. And we would still owe the custodial parent too. So which is it? Also my husband went to a new job in 2002 and makes more in wage than when they went to court. She indicated in a letter to us a while ago, that she did not want an increase of support, but wanted us to help out with small bills, school clothes, supplies, lunch money, etc. What is considered reasonable??? We got a bill from her for graduation announcements and for a class ring and senior pictures. Also, what if she sends us a bill for help with his graduation party, I think this is a little much. We have not seen the son in almost a year, and not by our choice, we call all the time and calls go unanswered, we run into him and ask him to come for dinner, and it never happens. I feel bad about that but we have done everything to try and make him feel a part of this family and he doesn't want to be.

If we went to a lawyer to ask the liklihood of getting support done legally, meaning the actual 17% of his income, could she still nickel and dime him? My big question is insurance. If the son goes to this job and it does not have insurance coverage, is that still up to us to pay 52% of the premiums. For according to my husband's support order it says nothing about paying premiums when the child cannot be covered under the mothers insurance any longer. His support order states he is to pay 52% of all uninsured medical, dental, eye, ortho, etc. Does this mean if he does get insurance, is he still obligated to pay that 52% to his son?????

We will be consulting a local lawyer, but wanted to field the questions here first.

Thanks,