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Topics - charlie967

#1
My best friend and her husband just started the divorce process. They are in Texas and I posted this on the TX board too. They have been living together for 16 years - 10 of those years married.  They have two girls both 8 & 10.  She filed for divorce a couple of years ago - no fault -  and then he begged and pleaded for another chance and she wanted to make it work so she said yes.  They both have contributed to what led up to the divorce.  They have already agreed on who would get what, how the bills would be split(they were already financially divorced since he kept the money separate...he had her account, she had hers.  His vehicle was in his name hers in hers), they want joint custody - one week w/one parent, one w/the other, 2 hr visit on Wed for the parent who doesn't have the week, he will pay her $$ from the house - she said he didn't have to pay it all at once....she is letting him pay her over a 6 year period (not sure I think that is the best idea but hey it's not my divorce!!), no child support, no spousal support and they are not fighting over their retirement.  They keep their own. I'm trying to help her w/some questions and answers for her and for her to ask when she goes to sign the paperwork.  She has not hired an attorney (bad move) because they are trying to keep it easy and cheap.  He has one. So here are my questions.

1.  Should the paperwork state "Joint Custody" or "Joint Managing Conservatorship"?  I have the later w/my son but it is not every week.  It's the 1st, 3rd, and 5th etc.... I looked up the Texas Family Code and it gets to be a little confusing on that.  It does state elsewhere that they share equal rights but it doesn't spell out the equal rights like who has the exclusive right to do this etc....I didn't think in joint custody that was necessary.  

2.  Since they both have different addresses, what address do they use as the primary address for the kids?  They have a post office, well he does now.  Can that work?

3.  If one of them is in another relationship, can that hurt the case? I don't think the other one would bring it up in court but say they did and could prove it....what could happen?  Legally?  Remember it was filed as no fault.

4.  What would happen if he died before the $$ to her was paid off?

Just curious what others think.  I've already told her what I thought but I don't know if what I told her was right or not.  It's hard because both of them are mine and my husband's friends.  She is my best friend and I have known her most all my life.  It's hard when one asks why didn't you tell me this or that.  So I'm trying best to stay out of that and just give whatever advice I can.

Thanks everyone.
#2
I'm reading a lot where people say that either the NCP or CP doesn't have a room for the child at their house and they(kids) have to  sleep on the couch or floor etc...  does this have to be stated in the court order for it to be enforced or is it even an issue to be brought up?  

Thanks.
#3
General Issues / A few divorce/custody questions
Feb 06, 2006, 05:24:35 PM
My best friend and her husband just started the divorce process. They are in Texas and I posted this on the TX board too. They have been living together for 16 years - 10 of those years married.  They have two girls both 8 & 10.  She filed for divorce a couple of years ago - no fault -  and then he begged and pleaded for another chance and she wanted to make it work so she said yes.  They both have contributed to what led up to the divorce.  They have already agreed on who would get what, how the bills would be split(they were already financially divorced since he kept the money separate...he had her account, she had hers.  His vehicle was in his name hers in hers), they want joint custody - one week w/one parent, one w/the other, 2 hr visit on Wed for the parent who doesn't have the week, he will pay her $$ from the house - she said he didn't have to pay it all at once....she is letting him pay her over a 6 year period (not sure I think that is the best idea but hey it's not my divorce!!), no child support, no spousal support and they are not fighting over their retirement.  They keep their own. I'm trying to help her w/some questions and answers for her and for her to ask when she goes to sign the paperwork.  She has not hired an attorney (bad move) because they are trying to keep it easy and cheap.  He has one. So here are my questions.

1.  Should the paperwork state "Joint Custody" or "Joint Managing Conservatorship"?  I have the later w/my son but it is not every week.  It's the 1st, 3rd, and 5th etc.... I looked up the Texas Family Code and it gets to be a little confusing on that.  It does state elsewhere that they share equal rights but it doesn't spell out the equal rights like who has the exclusive right to do this etc....I didn't think in joint custody that was necessary.  

2.  Since they both have different addresses, what address do they use as the primary address for the kids?  They have a post office, well he does now.  Can that work?

3.  If one of them is in another relationship, can that hurt the case? I don't think the other one would bring it up in court but say they did and could prove it....what could happen?  Legally?  Remember it was filed as no fault.

4.  What would happen if he died before the $$ to her was paid off?

Just curious what others think.  I've already told her what I thought but I don't know if what I told her was right or not.  It's hard because both of them are mine and my husband's friends.  She is my best friend and I have known her most all my life.  It's hard when one asks why didn't you tell me this or that.  So I'm trying best to stay out of that and just give whatever advice I can.

Thanks everyone.
#4
My son goes EOW w/BF.  I've sent his medicine w/instuctions written down so he would know when to give them.  I told him on the phone, in person and through email that he has to take them.  During this time of the year my son and my daughter (w/my husband) both have seasonal allergies that will turn into colds etc....their peditrician prescribed a few meds this year and said they have to take them through the season so they don't end up w/a bad cold or worse. Before I would treat w/OTC allergy meds but for DS it wouldn't work -  Everytime DS comes back from EOW he has a runny nose or cough.  So I have explained over the phone, in person and through email about the meds.  The past 2 times I counted the pills before he leaves and when he comes back the exact amount is in there. My DS is 5 and the first thing he tells me is that BF didn't give him his meds.  He said he told them that he has to take them and he said BF told him he didn't need them.  I'm just curious what I should do next? Do I get a note from the pedi and saying yes he needs to take them or do I just email him and ask why he isn't giving the meds.  Just curious what you think would work.  I really don't want to have to get my attorney to send his a letter saying....give the meds.  

Thanks.
#5
General Issues / What form do I use?
Jul 06, 2005, 11:27:14 PM
I am wanting to change the jurisdiction for my case.  It was signed by both parties and the judge 2 years ago and has remained in the county where my son was born.  My son and I have lived in another county for 4 years now.  We are in Texas.  Which form do I use to change the jurisdiction from one county to another?  If I can do it on my own without using the attorney I used during the case then that would be great.  I have not had to use him in 2 years and I do not owe him one cent and would love to keep it that way by doing the form on my own.  

Thank you!!:-)
#6
Hi all.  I am the CP to a 5 yr old boy.  He will be going for his summer visit (30 days) with his father in July.  We live in Texas and live less than 100 miles from eachother.  We have standard possession orders with few changes..  Last year was the first summer he went for the extended stay.  I have a couple of questions.

1.  During the extended summer visit am I required to pay half of any child care expenses?  He is asking for me to pay half since he is "short on money and our son is both ours." He wants to just pay  the difference of what child care will cost for him for July's child support.  (DS will be staying with his MIL who also watches his daughter. He also stayed with her last year and at Christmas and has never asked before for me to help)

2. Would he be in contempt for not paying child support for the month of the extended visit?

3.  He also stated that he could not afford to provide clothing for DS when he is at his home and that I need to send clothes for him to wear there because he has none and he can not afford to buy any. Orginally I sent clothes for the weekend.  But every week less came home.  So we agreed via email that we would not send clothing either way.  If he comes home with clothes that they have bought I send it back.  When DS comes home he has clothes that are 2 sizes too small and not with the clothes he had on when he left.  It states in our paperwork that he is ordered to return personal effects and I assume that is standard.

4.  In our orders it says that his child support should be withheld from his earnings.  Before we had the final paperwork signed he would just send child support to me.  It was never on time but it eventually got to me.  He never paid insurance or his part of the medical expenses and in the final paperwork the judge ordered that to be paid out monthly to me until he paid it in full.  After we signed the paperwork he asked me if he could continue mailing the child support to me because he was in arrearage and he works for a government office and they frown on that.  So I said that he continue mailing it to me himself but if it did not get to me by the 5th then I would start the process to have it withheld.  Well the past two months he has  been almost 30 days late and last month he was short.  Would it be (I don't know what the word it other than..bitchy of me to file the papers to withhold his earnings for child support?

I really have tried to be easy and flexible to work with because I don't want DS to suffer at all.  He is always changing around the week visits to fit his schedule and I always try to switch provide we don't have plans made already. If he comes early to pick him up I let him go and don't make him come back early.  But I don't want to be taken advantage of.  Does that make sense?  There are a lot of other little things but they are all adding up...coming home an hour after he is suppose to bring him home, not notifing me of him moving to a different city, phone numbers etc... Anyway, I guess I'm just asking how would you respond back in an email about whether or not I am suppose to provide half of child care while he is in his care and the other questions.

Thank you for reading and for any advice.