Menu

Show posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Show posts Menu

Topics - evalisto2005

#1
Dear Socrateaser / What should I do?
Feb 15, 2006, 12:23:36 PM
Okay, BM's bogus order of protection is going to be squashed soon

and my lawyer for my custody case is doing what needs to be done.

BM will have to go through the judge(s) that are handling our

custody case if she wants to try to get an OP again. BM's lawyer will

not say what any of her allegations are any more unless there;s

proof because he found out that he wasw lying for her under oath

and he's  scared that he could lose his law license.

I have to get a child representative (same thing as guardian at litem

(sp.?)) and a psychiatrist do do evals. My county may offer help as

far as getting a child representative but I can't afford to get one

myself and I can't afford a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist/evaluator is

what I need to win the case but it'd be about $16k total for all the

evals and a few other things involved. My family is scared to put up

their house to get a loan because they think things will keep

dragging out again. My lawyer says that the "good ol' boy judges"

will probably give me joint custody b ut not sole custody, but

a psychiatrist/evaluator would get me custody. My lawyer filed an

emergency motion for custody but doesn't think that I'll get it. She

thinks that the courts will just be looking over BM a lot.

My son keeps getting pneumonia and going to the ER because BM

won't take  him to a doctor, she won't get help for his

developmental delays, she lives with her mother that sells crack and

is out on bond for it, and there are so many other serious things.

My lawyer kept trying to get the case back in front of the judge that

handled the case in the beginning because he favors fathers but he

said another judge can handle it. I'm on disability because of

fibromyalgia and the condition can keep me from working. My lawyer

did say though that if I get and keep a job that will better my

chances of winning custody by 150% so I'm working on finding work

that I can do. My lawyer that is handling BM's OP case said that I

should move the case to BM's county because there the judges

aren't "good ol' boys" and that county handles cases quicker.

My lawyer for the custody case has to wait to do some things

because in BM's OP case it will be proven that BM keeps committing'

perjury to keep me from having visitation and to conceal my son's

medical information. Some of the proof is on voice mails from BM to

me and voice mails she left for a woman that she had try to frame

me, and that woman sent me the voice mails. They make it obvious

that BM is lying and even tried to have a woman frame me for

domestic battery or attempted murder and the murder of an unborn

child that never existed (I was never charged and I won't be).

Is there anything I can do? I can't come up with the money I need

and I have no idea what I should do.
#2
I haven't been here forver it seems like. Okay, when my son's mother filed another false police report against me again a while back I learned the the officer that gave me hell on the phone for 49 minutes and that I politely stood up to said on the oplice report and later in court also he said that my son's mother showed him a legit restraining order out of my county, but she didn't have one. He also said that when I had welfare checks done that nothing ever happened and that I was just harrassing my son's mother, but the police did get involved several times and my son's mothetr and her mother were both arrested because of the welfare checks. When he said this in court it was for my trial for harrassment by telephone against my son's mother's mother which I'm not guilty of. The judge said with other words that he did not belive their stories but I had to be angry with them at the time so because of that and the officer's words I was found guily and given court supervision. My lawyer for the custody case didn't think that that would really matter in the custody case.

The custody case, health problems that resulted from it, me just finding my birth mother, and lots of crazy things got me to call the officer's supervisor and complain. I did not say anything threatening or bad but I was still arrested for it. My criminal lawyer said that since it's against a cop my only hope would be an insanity defense and that I could kiss my custody case goodbye becaue of that. I had a full blown psyche eval done that was maybe a total of 14 hours and the psychiatrist said that I was under too much stress and that was what caused me to call the plice to compolain like I did. He said that he could not see me doin anything like that again and that I do not have a mental illness but that bascially my brain was overloaded because of the severe stress. Does that help me at all or is it all still all lost for me? I have known former couples that were fighting for custody and both had mental issues, and custody was granted to the parent that was most fit. My son's mother couldn't pass a psyche eval if her life depended on it.

My son's mother's lawyer filed to withdraw from the case becuase he was never paid and also because he found out that he had lied for her under oath. This was a long while back but the judge said that she had to show up herself in court for him to be off of the case and she didn't until a couple weeks ago. The judge would not allow a GAL to do anything and would not listen to anything until my son's mothetr showed up and he won't hear anything until she either gets another lawyer or represents herself. It baffles me how a judge could not even care about the well being  of a child. My lawyer wanted to have a GAL check things out and wanted to have a P.I. check things out for the longest time and to go for emergency custody but this has all been out off by the judge, he won't hear anything yet. My son's mother openly talks about her drug use, being a swinger, and much more on her web site where parties for swingers are advertised for. My son is at a lot of these parties and my son's mother's room mates were arrested for giving booze to 14 year olds at the parties. The partties are for the public since they are advertised the way they are so a P.I. can get in. The police already know what's going on  but haven't been granted access to the residence after receiving more compliants so their hands are tied.

My son's mother's mother was sentenced for her selling 12 grams of cocoaine or crack to an undercover agent and will be doing at least 4 of an 8 year sentence (again) but my son's mother still allows my son to stay with her mother. My son's mother would not take my son to a doctor after his face turned blue because of breathing problems and it's on my son's medical records that she stated that to his doctor. He was prescribed asthma and allegy medication which she refuses to give him so he's always sick. There is much more but too much to mention.

Is there no way for me to win this case like my criminal lawyer said or is it still possible? I know that anything can happen but I won' expect anything.
As far as the judge, my lawyer went to different judges but my lawyer got sent back to the same one. Doesn't it say something about a parent if they won't even show up for court for months for their child while they just ruin their credit even more?

If she gets another attorney do you think that he or she would check out the real reason why her lawyer dropped her and would not want the case or would at least ant a hell of a retainer fee?

Sorry for rambling, I'm just scared to death for my son.
#3
***SOME ONE MADE A SIMILAR POST A WHILE BACK BUT I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT SITUATION JUST SO YOU KNOW (THAT POST  DID GET CRAZY)***

This afternoon I found one of BM's web sites. On it she has pics of guys

dry

humping, pics of her getting felt on by a guy, pics of her partially naked,

and

right next to those pics are pics of my son. BM also publicly talked about

how

she goes to parties for swingers and that she does at least 5 different

kinds of

drugs. BM left her real full name, location, etc. on her site also.

My son is not in the sex pics but his pics are right next to them and BM's

info

is right there for a pedophile, rapist, stalker, etc. to see and either way my

son's pics should not be there.

I left a message for my lawyer about it but my lawyer is not in the office

and

I dropped off print outs with full details under my lawyer's office door.

Since my son was not in the sex pics, is what BM did protected freedom of

speech and something that a judge would look down on but not be able to

do anything about?

Also, BM has pics posted of her hanging out at a place for swingers and

has pics of her with people that are not just under 21, but are under 18 and are drinking. This is too sick and humiliating.


My family changed their minds and will be getting money to cover

psyche/custody evals, a child representative, etc. and my lawyer already

started filing everything for emergency temporary custody, psyche evals,

home evals, everything. Any surprises I should know about with psyche

evals? What my son is going through makes me irritable and maybe seem

angry, or if I'm drained and exhausted I could appear to be severely

depressed. I talked to my therapist and psychiatrist. They said that the

worst case would be me being diagnosed with depression but that it is

from what I'm going through with the custody case and it does not make

me unfit. Anybody know what I should expect other than the obvious?

Thanks in advance.
#4
Custody Issues / Custody Help Needed
Feb 15, 2006, 12:22:40 PM
Okay, BM's bogus order of protection is going to be squashed soon

and my lawyer for my custody case is doing what needs to be done.

BM will have to go through the judge(s) that are handling our

custody case if she wants to try to get an OP again. BM's lawyer will

not say what any of her allegations are any more unless there;s

proof because he found out that he wasw lying for her under oath

and he's  scared that he could lose his law license.

I have to get a child representative (same thing as guardian at litem

(sp.?)) and a psychiatrist do do evals. My county may offer help as

far as getting a child representative but I can't afford to get one

myself and I can't afford a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist/evaluator is

what I need to win the case but it'd be about $16k total for all the

evals and a few other things involved. My family is scared to put up

their house to get a loan because they think things will keep

dragging out again. My lawyer says that the "good ol' boy judges"

will probably give me joint custody b ut not sole custody, but

a psychiatrist/evaluator would get me custody. My lawyer filed an

emergency motion for custody but doesn't think that I'll get it. She

thinks that the courts will just be looking over BM a lot.

My son keeps getting pneumonia and going to the ER because BM

won't take  him to a doctor, she won't get help for his

developmental delays, she lives with her mother that sells crack and

is out on bond for it, and there are so many other serious things.

My lawyer kept trying to get the case back in front of the judge that

handled the case in the beginning because he favors fathers but he

said another judge can handle it. I'm on disability because of

fibromyalgia and the condition can keep me from working. My lawyer

did say though that if I get and keep a job that will better my

chances of winning custody by 150% so I'm working on finding work

that I can do. My lawyer that is handling BM's OP case said that I

should move the case to BM's county because there the judges

aren't "good ol' boys" and that county handles cases quicker.

My lawyer for the custody case has to wait to do some things

because in BM's OP case it will be proven that BM keeps committing'

perjury to keep me from having visitation and to conceal my son's

medical information. Some of the proof is on voice mails from BM to

me and voice mails she left for a woman that she had try to frame

me, and that woman sent me the voice mails. They make it obvious

that BM is lying and even tried to have a woman frame me for

domestic battery or attempted murder and the murder of an unborn

child that never existed (I was never charged and I won't be).

Is there anything I can do? I can't come up with the money I need

and I have no idea what I should do.
#5
My father went to pick up my son for me today because I was busy.

He called my cell and said that Bm was waiting there with a pig that wanted

to serve me papers. There's a temp. order that keeps me from making

contact with BM and my son, I haven't been served yet though.

BM told my father that I said I would kill her, that it would take dental records

to identify her, that I call her hundreds of times a day, blah blah blah.

None of that is true.

The pig told my father that her order voids my order for visitation. My lawyer

for our custody case, a criminal lawyer, and a lawyer that handles mainly

restraining order cases said that that order can NOT void my court orders for

visitation or anything else. Of course they told me to watch my behind

though.

I had BM start to meet me at a pig station for pick up and drop off. At that

station BM started crying to my father and said that if I had visitation with

my son I would take him to a doctor because he's sick with pneumonia, is

getting worse, and if I took him to a doctor it would prove that she's

negligent. That's why she doesn't want me to have visitation. She won't

take my son to a doctor for anything unless she thinks he's about to die.

I have 100% proof that BM made many false reports in the past about

death threats and even paid an ex of mine to get b.s. orders against me

and tried to have that ex frame me for domestic battery, attempted

murder,

and murder of an unborn child that never existed (when that ex was on

my side she forwarded BM's voice mails to me that talked about trying to

frame me).  I was never even question about those b.s. allegations.

1) If the pigs say the b.s. order voids my orders and they're wrong and

won't take a report for unlawful visitation interference, what can I do?

2) Is it worth having video and audio of BM's break down and lies at the

pig station brought into court, or at least obtained in case that info needs

to be added to other allegations?

3) BM left me voice mails telling me to call her and was screaming at me

after she got this b.s. order. Doesn't the eveidence that I have say

something? When BM had another ex of mine lie I noticed that judges that

handle order of protection cases do NOT want to hear much from the guy

and my evidence is complete overkill.

This is not about revenge. I'm not like that at all. But she broke the law

and should be arrested and put in her place. If I did what she did I'd be in

jail.


#6
I can not call BM without her calling 911 and saying that I threatened to kill

her or that I said something else, even when she knows that my family is

listening on loud speaker as witnesses. Because I fear that I'll be arrested

(again; her mother lied and said that I told her I hope she dies and I'm

awaiting trial for harrassment by telephone), I send her text messages. But

she STILL calls 911 saying that it's harrassment and that I have no right to

contact her (because she doesn't want to hear from me). The police told me

that it's not harrasment and not to worry, and even gave me a report #.

I document everything, send copies to my lawyer, have tried to arrange

a regular schedule for talking about things on the phone, but BM won't

let me get any where. The sent text messages saved on my phone show

that I'm trying but what can I do if anything? She will not change.

I offered to have a deal where we give each other permission to record

our conversations so there'd be no questions but she won't do that any

more because she admitted to something on one of the recordings. I don't

know if there's anything else I can do about it. She will not change.



She left me a voice mail and was swearing, yelling, using blame and

sarcasm, and said that she won't put my son in high risk early intervention

special ed and will not give me any info about where he might go to school

or any info about his medical records because I would just use it all

against her (in court). She won't do what's right for my son because of her

hatred towards me. She doesn't care about him and she finally gave a

kind of direct admission. Besides documenting everything and keeping

extra copies of that voice mail I don't know what to do. Every time my

lawyer pushed for something BM starts something to get the focus off of

her and onto me. Other then the obvious, I don't know what to do. I will

keep trying though.

I figured that false allegations of harrassment, threats, stalking, violence,

etc. were common but are they VERY common? It's just beyond ridiculous

and keeps getting worse while my son's life is getting worse. At  last drop

off he yelled "No!" "Don't want Mommy!". Not like he just didn't want to

say goodbye, but for a while it's seemed like he really doesn't want to be

around her. He really acts out around her and won't listen to her. But he

[almost] always minds me. He can tell more and more that his mom is

putting him in the middle and he's really heartbroken over it and I'm lost. I

say a few good things about his mom during visitation so he won't sense

any hatred on my part and I never talk bad about her. He can do

whatever he wants while with BM but he prefers to be with me and he

actually likes being on a regular schedule and having rules. I'll shut up

now since I'm babbling but any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.
#7
Custody Issues / SERIOUS ISSUE, PLEASE HELP!
Jan 15, 2006, 09:04:21 PM
An officer from where BM lives called me today to let me know of [false]

allegations of telephone harrassment. I was about to defend myself and he

told me to let him finish, then he would listen to me, and that he thought I'd

like what he was going to tell me.

He said not to worry because my text messages that I sent to BM weere not

harrassment and were only about my son's well being, and he let her know

that too. One thing BM complained about was that I said our son needs to

be away from the house he lives in because BM's mom sells crack. BM

admitted her mom's drug problem to the officer, he ran her mom's name and

saw that there is [another] case pending against BM's mom for possession of

cocaine (or crack) with intent to deliver (12 grams).

He said that since there is a child involved he had to call DCFS. He told

me the name of the person that's in charge of the investigation and gave

me the false report #. In the report he said what BM's mom is doing and

that BM keeps trying to have me arrested for phone harrasment when I'm

not even harrassing her. He told me to pick up the report. I said I thought

it was illegal for the alleged criminal to get the report. He then told me to

tell my lawyer to get the report ASAP and to try to get it myself at the

station and he said that it would prove some things to help my case and

the well being of my child.

I left a message for my lawyer with all details. But ALSO, some one from

Special Ops called me. I answered some questions and he said that they

now can search very car that leaves BM's place and they will keep the

place under serious surveilance, and said to go ahead and call him with

any questions in 4 days to see what's going on.

DCFS NEVER does their job in my state until they're on the news, and BM

lives at a dead end so it would take Rambo to keep look out and not get

noticed. Also, a crack head/crack ealer would know how to hide their stash

and do something so that dogs could ot sniff it out. I can not call DCFS

because they said that if I call them again they will have me arrested for

making false reports. They HATE hearing "custody battle". And I feel that

the efforts of the police may do no good because I don't think that BM's

mom always does deals right from that house.

Other than providing my lawyer with all documentation along with

providing the police with certain info, what can I do (if anything)?

I'm sorry for panicing, I'm just more worried. I knew about the situation

but am afraid that the system may give up, or may have my son taken

away (because BM would rather have that than me having custody).

#8
 I learned that a stipulation entered by agreement through a mediator was entered after BM wanted me to think that it wasn't.

She is to inform me immediately of any medical attention that my son needs, receives, will be receiving, etc. She refused to do that and still refuses, thinking that I have no say so because she is the custodial parent. The stipulation that was ordered along with me being able to get all documention of my son getting medical attention can maybe only go so far because BM can lie and say that she told me. However, she said in a voice mail that if I wanted to find out anything I could just drive (4 hour round trip depending on traffic) to my son's doctor and get the documentation (for 10-20 dollars per page) when she could just tell me, and is court ordered to tell me what is going on with my son's health and all medial attention that he gets.

But she is so vindictive that if my lawyer files something for contempt, BM will start dragging things out again to make sure that other parts of the case drag out or go no where while I'm spending enough money to buy a new car.

I don't want BM to suffer, but no one is above the law. If I did what she did I would be locked up. It's up to my lawyer to decide on whether or not to pursue this. But if it is pursued, BM will not agree to anything (mediation for custody and visitation is not done yet and of course my lawyer and I want BM to agree on as many things as possible).

Sorry that I'm too worked up to make much sense but please feel free to post advice, your thoughts, or anything. Thank you in advance.

#9
1) The Mediator/Custody Evaluator has not gotten back to me for quite a while. My son's mother and I are court ordered to go two more times (I'm the one suing for custody). Last time I spoke with him he said that she kept calling him whenever she had a complaint and he said with his own words that he's sick of her. She was court ordered to pay for her half but I told the Mediator/Custody Evaluator that I'd pay her half, provide transportation (because her license is suspended), and would cover all baby sitter costs and arrangements. He said that he'd tell her that and he'd get back to me as soon as he heard from her. He said that he was having to "hunt her down". I left a message for the Mediator letting him know that I have documantation that I feel he needs to see, and that I'd pay him for going over it (because there's so much).

The end of October was the last time that we had really spoken much and we played phone tag before Thanksgiving. I tried to touch base with him but didn't call back.

He did however type up stipulations for visitation and a few other things so that they would be court ordered before Christmas.

Can any one think of a reason why he'd not be calling me back or trying to schedule anything? At first he was relentless in hunting down my son's mother to schedule Mediation and he got back to me always.

2) When I'm back at Mediation again I need to bring up and show my documention of something serious. It happened last year but I didn't get to bring it up during mediation because my son's mother won't shut up.

She and her fiance and friends kept driving to my ex's place when I was there and kept vandalizing my ex's property. They kept driving around her place ALL the time. I saw my son's mother as clear as day and got the plate number of a few of the cars that she was a passenger in.

One morning when I got up my ex's tires were slashed and her car was damaged really bad. I went to check my tires and I saw that a lug nut cover was missing. To remove it some one had to use a lug wrench. I checked all wheels and three of them had all the nuts loosened. That was meant to make one wheel fall off, then the impact would cause two more wheels to fall off, and then my car would have exploded from impact or at least been stuck dragging around in circles or flipping over. In the police report the police only said things about my car getting egged and my ex's car being vandalized but nothing about the lug nuts even though I reported that.

I thought that I should tell the Mediator what the allegations are, and that I'll pay for myself and every person that I say was involved to take a lie detector test, and also that I'll pay them each $200.00 to have the test done. I know that the test results are not admissable in court but me offering could show how sertious I am. Also, my son's mother would say "Those tests are inadmissable in court, so there!" instead of denying the allegations. Also, turning down an easy $200.00 when she's not even working while she doesn't even care about clearing herself would help, at least I think so.

I can't get over the fact that she had her fiance and friends try to literally end my life and she could have had some one call my cell phone to tip me off to save my life but she didn't.

Any suggestions? I noticed that the Mediator writes things down every time my son's mother lies, and every time that she blames me for getting evidence against her instead of denying serious allegations.



Thanks for reading this.
#10
Okay, this is my 1st post here even though I joined a while back.

I live in Illinois and am suing for custody of my son. His mother and

I were never married. She refuses to move out of her mother's house

even though her mother uses and sells crack. Her mother that she lives

with did prison time before for dealing and was arrested again for

possession of 12 grams of cocaine with intent to deliver. The house is a

pig sty and all Summer long the grass in the yard was literally five feet

high. My son's mother was arrested for driving on a suspended license,

then again for failure to appear for it, and she still drives around with

my son in her vehicle. Her mother that she keeps my son around used

to (before my son was conceived) let a guy that did 20 years of a 40

year sentence for rape and murder live there and beat and rape my

son's mother because she wanted him around to help support her crack

habit. My son's mother has post traumatic stress

disorder because of what she saw happen to her father when she was

young and because of that she will not take my son to a doctor except

for a regular check up. An ultra sound was ordered for my son for his

heart, and so was a sleep study for possible sleep apnea but his mother

will not take him to a doctor. I noticed obvious problems with my son's

develpoment and had him evaluated. He is about to be three years old

but is only at a 1-2 year level in most areas (speech, communication,

etc.) I only have him on weekends and no sleep specialists or

cardiologists that I found do intitial consultations on evenings or

weekends so my hands are tied.

For a while things in court were put on hold and my attorney said that

we needed to go up in front of the original judge because the stand in

judge almost always sides with women and hates my lawyer apparently.

My son's mother and I were sent to mediation again to try to work on

visitation and for me to show the Mediator my proof, and for my son's

mother to bury herself. When the Mediator report is done he will be

saying who he thinks is more of a fit parent but my son's mother keeps

blowing off Mediation (which is court ordered).


So what's my baggage? I have fibromyalgia. I was diagnosed not very

long ago and before I was diagnosed doctors said that I was a

hypocondriac and had insomnia, depression, and anxiety so for a long

time I was labeled as "mentally ill". To make matters worse I was

homeless for a while because of identity theft and money lost to medical

bills. I ended up with a torn groin muscle and a blown out knee and

ankle. Because of not being able to walk and having no where to go, I

lied in the ER and said that I tried to kill myself by drinking myself to

death before I got there. I said that so that I would be put into a psyche

facility, get medical attention, and not be stuck out in the cold. I used

drinking as a lie because I knew that could come back and haunt me. I

thought that since they'd be doing a BAC that would show that I had no

alcohol in me that it would better help prove that I was lying just to

have a place to go. The doctor in the psyche facility ended up believing

me after I explained my situation and released me after I got better and

told him my story.

For now I am in a lot of physical therapy and that keeps me from having

a 9-5 job so for now I'm on social security disability and my family is

subsidizing me. I can not work hard labor jobs because they make my

fibromyalgia flare up.

There's all my baggage and not a fraction of my son's mother's.

A status hearing to see what the Mediator's report says is on Demember

16th but we still have two more appointments to make.

Is my son's mother just putting things off because oif fear of losing

custody or is she maybe buying time for another reason? And what

should I expect after the Mediator report is in? All of my allegations can

be proven and most of them were admitted to by my son's mother.

I am ready for the worst news but I really don't see how the courts

could let my son's mother keep custody.

Also, is it possible to get a parent court ordered to have speech and

other therapy done or is that unconstitutional? Sorry, I'm lost.


Thank you for reading this.