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I am CP of son in AL.  BM's visitation is alternate weekends, Mother's day, 5 weeks in Summer, and some holidays.  We have differing opinions on how the alternating weekends should work.  Please clarify.

Assuming that BM's weekends start on week 1, and then on week 3, 5, etc.:

1)  If BM chooses to not exercise her visitation on week 1, should she have visitation on weeks 2, 4, 6, etc?  Or on weeks 3, 5, 7, etc?

2)  If BM misses week 1 visitation due to BD's fault, what weeks would the visits become on?

3)  If BM exersices visitation on week 1, then also on week 2 due to Mother's Day, should the next visit be on week 3 or week 4?

Thanks for the help!!
LittleBitt

First, a quick thanks for all your help!  You are part of the reason that me and my son are in this great position right now!  Many thanks are just not enough!!

Background:  Divorced in 1999 in Alabama, Father (me) retained custody.  Mother gains custody in 2001 due to her not working, and Father must use daycare 40 hrs per week for child.  Father has enlarged visitation.

In 2002, Mother refuses to take child to court ordered physchologist;  refuses many of Father's visitaitons, allows no phone contact;  attempts to exclude Father from school functions and information;  many PAS issues;  

In 2003, Mother arrested for disorderly conduct (against Father) at child's church program;  Child misses 43 days of school;  Mother withdraws child from school and begins "home-schooling";  Father files for custody.

In 2004, Mother files for RO;  RO denied and Father is granted weekly phone calls with child!  GAL report favors Father for custody!

Court has been re-scheduled 4 times.  On the forth time, judge said that Mother can go to the scheduled court date and lose, or she can have her continuance and give Father temporary custody in the mean time.  This is what happened...Here is the exact wording of the court order:

It is hereby ordered by the court, by agreement of the parties:

1.  The case is continued by agreement of the parties.

2.  That the Plantiff-Father is hereby awarded temporary custody of the minor child, son, until a hearing upon the merits.

3.  The Defendant-Mother shall have visitaion with son every 1st, 2nd, & 4th weekend from 4pm on Friday until 6pm on Sunday.  

4  The mother shall be allowed telephone conversations with son on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons and all other times agreeable to the parties.

5.  The mother shall have contact with school and teachers to check on the monor child's progress.

6.  The mother shall have the ability to attend all school funcitons.

7.  The mother shall pick up and return the minor child from visitation.

8.  The above styled cause is reset for trial for January 12, 2006 at 10:00 am.

QUESTIONS
1) Am I obligated to allow Mother the same Thanksgiving and Christmas visitations that I have had in the past, although the temporary order does not specify that?

2) Stratigically, is it in my best interest to allow Mother the extra holiday times?

3) I have provided Mother with pertinent school information so far.  Should I inform her of every PTA meeting, field trip, grades, etc.?  Or let her make the inquiries from the school?

4) Should I ask for continuances in order to establish status-quo as long as possible?

THANKS,
LittleBitt's Dad

I am CP of 12 yo.  BM has visitation.  She does the trasportations but we meet at nutral location.  BM called the house to say she is waiting for us to bring son.  SM tells her that son is not going there this weekend (another story in itself), and BM starts yelling that "I AM going to get my son!"

Minutes later BM is at our house.  SM is there alone, calls police for assistance, does not go to door or answer phone.  BM finally goes away.  SM calls police to say its OK, no need to come.

An hour later SM get's in car to leave and finds that both back tires are flat.  They have been cut.  Police come out and do a report.

SM had BM arrested and court date has been set.

The policeman who came out for the report basically told us, yeah of course she did it, but no way you can win in court if no one saw it.  The clerk who did the arrest warrant even tried to talk us out of it for the same reason.  She even added that when BM is found not guilty, she can file charges  against US for false arrest!

A side note...this is not the first incident we've had.  BM was arrested in 2003 for disorderly conduct against us, and was given a no-contact order for 6 months.

Does anyone have suggestions on what would give us better chances in court?  

It is true that no-one saw her, and she is claiming that her sister was with her and is her witness.  On the phone, she actually laughed and said there is nothing we can do because no one saw her do it, and so we can't prove it was her!

Any ideas?

Thanks for the help!
LittleBit

(My former sign-on name is littlebit, but computer issues wont allow me to use it right now)  

First, thanks for all of your help!  Especially gypsy, MYSONSDAD, wendl, Kitty C, and many others you have given some priceless advice.

Background:  Divorced in 1999 in Alabama, Father (me) retained custody.  In 2001, Mother alledges sexual, physical, emotional abuse against child.  Judge acknowledged me as a fine Father, but Mother gains custody due to her not working, and I must use daycare 40 hrs per week for child. I am granted enlarged visitation.

In 2002, Mother refuses to take child to court ordered physchologist;  refuses many of Father's visitaitons, allows no phone contact;  attempts to exclude Father from school functions and information;  many PAS issues;  

In 2003, Mother arrested for disorderly conduct (against me & family) at child's church program;  Child misses 43 days of school;  Mother withdraws child from school and begins "home-schooling";  Father files for custody.

In 2004, Mother files for RO;  RO denied and Father is granted weekly phone calls with child!  GAL report favors me for custody!

In 2004, I had to stop posting on SPARC because I was becoming consumed and overwhelmed with custody court.  Marriage, sanity, and my other children were in jeapordy.

Court has been re-scheduled 4 times.  On the forth time, judge said that Mother can go to the scheduled court date and lose, or she can have her continuance and give Father temporary custody in the mean time.  So this is what happened...

I am awarded temporary custody of son until the court date !!!!!!!!

This is what his Mother asked for in the temporary agreement:

contact with school and teachers to check on the monor child's progress--OK, no problem

the ability to attend all school funcitons
--OK, no problem

Three weekends a month, just like I had
--OK, no problem

We meet half-way for pick-ups and drop offs
--GO FAX YOURSELF!! was my response to that one....I have been driving 100 miles 3 weekends a month for years and now YOU decide that is TOO MUCH for you??  I'll see you in HELL (I mean court) first!!(thanks for the balls gypsy!)

So guess what, she ducked her tail on that one and started driving!

My Attorney says there is no way in hell the judge will remove son from school and send him back to his Mother now.  The court date is just a formality we have to go through.  Mom's request for continuance only gave judge a perfect opportunity to place son with me without a formal hearing!

Thank you is not enough to say to all of you for your guidance!!  How can a Father possiblly show gratitude for having his son tell him goodnight FIVE nights a week instead of ONE!?  How do I express on a keypad what it means to see my son sit across the dinner table and say the blessing every day?

I've done the right things for years.  I've taken the high roads.  I've put up with shit a lot of people could not understand.  I've put myself second.  I've put my wife second (sorry love!)  I've cried myself to sleep.  I've given up many times.  I've prayed to God, and I've cursed God.  But in the end I always did what was right for my son!

I'm crying now so I have to stop.

THANK YOU , THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

LittleBitt's Dad