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Could this thread please be revived ??

I saw the post yesterday requesting the removal of this subject matter and while the removal request was well intended it STILL REMAINS the purposed thoughts and directions/tactics are at the very essence of why this board exists.

We all know many of the unnecessary lasting pains children and parents were/are forced to endure in their depleted lives through no fault of their own. 

Many thanks to the creators of this internet site and the many contributors to it over the many years.       

.... correspondence from the Pres. of Illinois Fathers


Dear Illinois Fathers Member and Supporters;

Greetings, earlier this year several leaders from your organization undertook a bold legislative initiative to benefit all parents in Illinois who are experiencing visitation interference issues.  Out of this effort was born HB1604.  House Bill 1604 provides judges a set of "tools" to effectively sanction parents who wilfully deny visitation to the other parent.

Many people believed this bill would never see the light of day in the state legislature.  There has been significant oppostion to its passage.  The opposition has come primarily from the domestic violence lobby and the state bar association.  Through the unrelenting efforts of Illinois Fathers, opposition to the bill was overcome and the legislation moved throught the House Judiciary Committee, passing unanimously by a vote of 11-0.  The bill went to the entire House for a vote where it passed with the support of over 75% of the House membership.  The will was then sent to the Senate for consideration.

This strong showing in the House suprised opponents of the bill and they mounted an even more aggressive effort to derail the legislation.  Opposition was again spearheaded by the Family Law Section of the Illinois State Bar Association and the Illinois Coalition Against Domestic Violence.  The opposition was able to convince the Chair of the Senate Judiciary committee to hold the bill and not allow a vote.  It appeared there were enough votes to pass the bill, but political maneuvering on the part of these two special interest groups successfully delayed the process until the session ended.

Rather than giving up or giving in, your Illinois Fathers leadership worked unrelentingly to see the bill brought to a vote.  Through numerous meetings, they have now secured the commitment of Senate Judiciary Chair Wilhelmi to allow the bill a vote before the Senate Judiciary Committee during the upcoming veto session of the legislature.  Rather than by a simple majority, legislation brought during this abbreviated session must pass by a 2/3's vote in order to more forward.

Everyone who sees this letter should be getting fairly worked up over the fact that there are special interests so set against improving the family law system by opposing a bill which would actually help children.

HB1604 sends the very proper and strong message that the state takes a parent's responsibility to make sure children see their non-residential parent as seriously as it does a parent's obligation to pay child support.  Judges will now have the exact same tools at their disposal to address denial of visitation as are available for non-payment of support.  This legislation will have a significant positive impact on improving compliance with access orders.

So what does this have to do with you ?  Passage of the bill is not guaranteed.  Illinois Fathers needs you to become a part of the effort.  Your support is more critical today than it has ever been.  General Parker, Ian Mitchell, Tim Brown, Richard Thomas, Travis Turner, Juan Carlos and Robert Ferrer have worked tirelessly to get the legislation to this point.  They have campaigned brilliantly on behalf of you and your children.   

What's necessary RIGHT NOW is that you pick up your phone and pick up a pen.  You need to call your State Senator and let them know about this bill.  You need to talk with them about why it is important to you and your children.  If you don't speak directly with your Senator you need to tell the person who answers the phone to let the Senator know about the bill and your opinion.  Then you need to encourage your other family members, your friends and everyone in your network of contacts to do the same thing.  After that you need to use your pen and drop the Senator a note as a friendly reminder.

At this point making law is not some abstraction that takes place in Springfield that you cannot control.  This is your opportunity to positively affect your life and the life of your kid's years to come.  Calls, cards, and letters are the tools employed to change the law.  Join your leaders at Illinois Fathers and become a part of securing this victory for our children.

This can't be left to the other guy (or gal) to take care of - everyone needs to participate in the effort.  Five minutes of your time today will make a lifetime of difference to our kids.  Contact Illinois Fathers if you need assistance in finding out who your State Senator is or how to contact them.

Thanks in advance for committing to this effort.  It is this type of citizen involvement in the process that leads to a better future, one that you have determined rather than one that's determined for you.  YOU are the difference in this effert.

[It is important for men to remember]

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife. When I semi-retired a few years ago (due to a so-called medical condition!), it became necessary for my wife to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is unreasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the lawn . I try not to make a scene.  I'm a fair man.  I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while.  And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support my wife. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

NOTE:
John, died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum.  The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby.   His wife was arrested and charged with murder.   The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that John, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

[Subject:]

Subject:  Retired husband

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

Dear Mrs. Xxxxxxx

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store.. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Xxxxxxx, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. this caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ' Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'


And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

[All the judges agreed there was no evidence that the father had ever abused his children.]

 
for Sotomayor

What !

(Sadly, this article had been written in support of SotomayOR)

In a much-discussed 2001 speech at the University of California, Berkeley, Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor singled out a Minnesota case as an example of the kind of difference diversity on the bench can make.

Sotomayor's views about the role life experiences can and should play in judges' decisionmaking will no doubt get a spacious airing during this week's Senate confirmation hearings -- which makes her Minnesota case in point of some interest.

It was in the Berkeley speech, after all, that Sotomayor made her most celebrated and controversial remark. "I would hope," she said, "that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn't lived that life."

A few paragraphs earlier, she had said this:
"The Minnesota Supreme Court has given an example of this [diversity among judges making a difference]. As reported by Judge Patricia Wald, formerly of the D.C. Circuit Court, three women on the Minnesota Court, with two men dissenting, agreed to grant a protective order against a father's visitation rights when the father abused his child."

<MORE>
Finding a case that fits this description has proved a bit of a challenge. Even Wald, who generously scanned her files, was unable to identify it. According to White House staff, Sotomayor named the wrong court. The decision in question, they say, is Hall vs. Hall, a Minnesota Court of Appeals ruling from 1987. (The Minnesota Supreme Court declined to review it.)

Even assuming that's the right case, Sotomayor's description was imprecise. In Hall, a 14-judge "en banc" appeals panel upheld a lower court's protective order on a 7-7 vote. Four male judges joined three female judges on the prevailing side. Seven judges, all male, dissented.

All the judges agreed there was no evidence that the father had ever abused his children.

Is it possible to go back and collect CS from the 1980's for my 2 or 3 children ???????????????

Just spoke (I called) to 38 yo daughter in FL.  She related that she had gone to a conference/meeting she thought was about the father of her 2 children (ages 14 & 16) paying CS to her own mother (my X). She did not know she needed an atty but found her own mother (and husband) with atty had filed for CS against her.  The grandmother received $500 for the graddaughter and $9000 back support from daughter.
Started out at $25K back support but daughted argued it down to the $9K  My grandson refuses to live w/the grandmother and resides with his mother.  Granddaughter prefers her mother but grandmother changed the kids school so of course granddaughter's freinds are the of upmost importance.  
The grandmother's husband is gainfully employed in Illinois...she left him over 10 years ago to convince my daughter to go to FL instead of taking a really good job in TX where I am at.  Daughter went downhill from there ..drugs etc and quite frankly is fortunate to be alive today.  She's strong and a charge nurse. (management is aware of her background and her job performance/abilities).  Daughter just got driver's license back and can now see daughter again (until she  doesn't pay back support of course...my youngest son and I are in business together and he already thinks he'll (read that and 'me') end up paying the support (we've got the money).

I'm really trying to be brief.

Back in the day I paid support for my 3 kids (one was not mine) and always paid .02 cents  extra (to the gacklers at the support office) until (I Stopped) the kids were returned to me.  It was a huge ugly case involving kidnapping and forum shopping (I always pervailed incl. PKPA; IL state court ordered to stop all actions agains children and myself) and parental termination case (alcoholism/severe child abuse) brought by husbands EX revealed my CS was being used for their beer bill and to pay his CS (he quit working).  After living with the kids for approx. 18 mos in mother's hometown I waltzed into State's atty and announced I was taking the kids BACK HOME to Tx and kept everyone informed as to address/schools/etc.  Subsequently I was no billed (not guilty) twice on criminal child interference charges (one in IL and one in TX) and I was not represented at either hearing....hope ya got that.

CS was never pursued because in the day mothers' never had to pay CS and I was way to focused on getting the kids straightened out.

I todys's life ...2005 arrested for not having insurance certificate in vehicle (it was really mental health warrant); police have been to front door several times on "welfare checks" concerning 34 yo son and he's very strong and bigger than I am (I'm physicaly disabled) ..CALLS FROM OUT-OF-STATE and I have no guns etc. 2006....2 strokes and triple bypass ... wgile recovering from open-heart ...Dallas VA ignored hippa and took statements (by phone) that nearly landed me in the mental ward (current fighting VA about that and they acknowledge I was completely healthy both before and after the accussations).  Feb 28 2008 ...3rd stroke and worst yet so after working since I was 10 yrs old I'm suppose to go to the pool starting this week and tread water with these elderly women (there husbands have probably already passed).

My IL and Tx attys from the day are still around (I think) ... powerful Tx state court judge that really screwd kids and in the day is now powerful state's attorney and his son (same name) is powerful state disctrit court judge. I've been pro se a lot. NOT seen or talked to EX forever. C TX TFER still in business.  Just met with pastor this a.m.

I suspect daughter will not want me to pursue ... FL CPS DEMANDS EVERYBODY TO KIss grAMMA Ass AND GET ALONG WITH Her.

I'm 59 and think I may be too frickin old and ill for this shit.  BUT I'M SERIOUS.

Any ideas  VERY SORRY THIS IS SO LONG.

A couple fighting about which gang their 4-year-old toddler should join caused a public disturbance that resulted in the father's arrest.

The father stormed into the Hollywood Video store where his girlfriend worked, threatened to kill her and knocked over several video displays and  a computer according to police.

After he ran out of the store, police were called and the 19-year-old was arrested at his home.

His girlfriend told police that they had been arguing about the upbringing of their son and which gang he should belong to. The teen mother is a  member of the Crips. The father belongs to the Westside Ballers gang, the girlfriend said.

"They have different ideas on how the baby should be raised. Basically, she said they cannot agree on which gang the baby would 'claim,'" the police reported.

Would parenting classes help this situation ?







 

Never lie to your father


John invited his father over for dinner. During the meal, his
father couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate
Julie was.  He had long been suspicious of the relationship
between John and his roommate, and this only made him more
curious. Over the course of  the evening, while watching the
two interact, he started to wonder if there was more between
John and the roommate than met the eye.

Reading his dad's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since
your father came to dinner, I can't find the beautiful silver
gravy ladle. You don't suppose he took it, do you?"

John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write him a letter
just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Dad ,

I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my
house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy
ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing
ever since you were here for dinner.

                              Love, John

Several days later, John received a letter from his father,
which read:

Dear Son,

I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Julie, and
I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Julie.
But the fact remains that if she were sleeping in
her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by
now."

Congratulations, Dad

Subject: Don't answer that

 Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared

 for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney

 called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand.


 He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

 She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've know you

 since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big

 disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate

 people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big

 shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to

 anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."


 The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do,! he pointed across

 the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

 She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a

 youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He

 can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is

 one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his

 wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know

 him." The defense attorney almost died.


 The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very

 quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me,

 I'll throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt."


 

 

 

OK...it's a movie (A Child's Cry for Help) on LIFETIME.

This documented disease has to do about (from memory) a child that is consistently harmed (ie medically) by a parent, mostly mothers, in order for the parent to feel significant.  Rare ?      

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
LIFE 28 Jan 29 08:00pm  
Movies, 120 Mins.
** (Rated NR) (Y)

A doctor links a boy's strange illness to his mother's rare disorder called Munchausen syndrome by proxy
 
 
 

WORDS WOMEN USE

*****************************

FINE:  This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up.  Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES:  This is half an hour.  It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING:  This means "something," and you should be on your toes.  "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards.  "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that >will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD ( With Raised Eyebrows!) :  This is a dare.  One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" >and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows) :  This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH:  This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men.  A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH:  Again, not a word, but a nonverbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content.  Your best bet is to not move or breathe so that she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY:  This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man.  "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD! :  At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO:  This is not a statement; it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth; if you are careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS:  A woman is thanking you. Do not faint! Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT:  This is much different from "Thanks."  A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and the comment will be followed by the "Loud Sigh."  Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you, "Nothing."

Send this to the men you know to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology!  And send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh!

Writing the book on divorce etiquette


Jann Blackstone-Ford (left) and Sharyl Jupe put kids first. Jann Blackstone-Ford and Sharyl Jupe are friends. They work for the same organization. They live just eight houses apart. Their children get along well together.

They've also been married to the same man. Ms. Blackstone-Ford's husband of 15 years, Larry, was first married to Ms. Jupe and is the father of her son and daughter.

So how do these two women not only share custody of those children, but maintain a friendship? Some ex-spouses can hardly tolerate the other being in the same city, no less go to lunch or celebrate Christmas with the ex – and his/her new spouse.

In a word: children.

"Put the kids first," says Ms. Blackstone-Ford from her house in California. "Get over yourself."

The two coined a phrase to replace "stepfamilies," a word they say often has a negative connotation. They decided on "bonus families," because a bonus is a reward for a job well done. And, they say, "it's hard work to be a good bonus parent."

The two co-wrote a book, Ex-Etiquette for Parents: Good Behavior After a Divorce or Separation to help others in blended families find peace with one another.

Here are some tips Ms. Blackstone-Ford offers, and which she and Ms. Jupe elaborate on in their book:

Plan early. Birthdays, holidays, vacations all need a plan.

"People don't understand how early a plan needs to be made, how important a plan is, and how important it is to have a plan in place to deviate from," she says.

Communicate and cooperate. "People think once you're divorced, you don't have to cooperate with each other," she says. "That's not true; your kids are watching every move you make. If you're going to present the new marriage as a possible thing, you have to make the most out of your divorce."

Plans are for the kids, not you. Sometimes, parents are inflexible about their allotted time with the children. Bad move, Ms. Blackstone-Ford says.

"Whose time are we talking about?" she asks. "It's not the two parents' time with the children; it's the children's time with them."

If your 12-year-old son wants to watch football with his dad on one of your evenings, let him.

Showing cooperation teaches cooperation. "If you can set it up so the kids can see it's possible to interact, they won't be negative about getting married themselves," she says.

By communicating in a positive way, you're teaching kids how to solve conflicts in the workplace and in life.

The lesson: "You can get along even if you don't particularly like someone," she says.

Let your children see you forgive each other. "If they see resentful, angry parents, they'll think that's how it should be," Ms. Blackstone-Ford says.

If you want to get along, you'll get along. If you don't, you won't.

"People ask how long it will take," she says. "It's up to you. It takes a couple of years to get over a divorce, but if the children are watching, you'd better get yourself together sooner."

Keep negative feelings about your spouse to yourself. If you say something negative about your former spouse to your child, she says, that hurts them, not your ex.

"They're wounded in their hearts because that person you're bad-mouthing is half of them," she says.

Deep-six the comparisons – exes to new spouses, bonus children to other children, your marriage to your ex's marriage with his or her new spouse.

"It's disastrous to your self-esteem," Ms. Blackstone-Ford says. "It's a total waste of your energy; it undermines you as a person."

Make good communication your goal. "Do you want to be promoted? Then you do the things you have to do in order to be promoted. Do you want to get along with your ex? Then you do it; you just do it," she says.

Granted, it isn't always possible. When there's been drugs or violence or mental illness, "this cordial stuff won't work," she says.

For more information, go to //www.bonusfamilies.com.

I was divorced in Oklahoma.  When my ex and I divorced I talked to several attorneys in that county and they all said the same thing....one gets custody and the other gets visiation....there was no shared parenting or even joint legal.  
My ex has custody.  She has jerked me around on visitation by denying me and taking off with the kids.  I filed contempt and for a custody reversal, attorney said its unlikely that I would get it for the first contempt but we had to start somewhere.  The judge fined her, and gave me a heck of a lot bettier visiation schedule than I had.  He also much to mine and my attorneys surprise ordered that all transportation be split 50/50...meaning I would get them and she would pick themup unless we agreed otherwise in writing.  I am in the military so I was theone who moved....due to military assignement so her attorney fought it, but the judge said he wasn't going to punish me by making me do all the transporation since I didnt willingly relocate and that she married had children and divorced me all while I was in the military.
Our order also says that the visiation schedule is at a minimum and that extra visitation in encouraged.  Everytime I ask for something extra she says no....then has had the nerve to send them off to her parents for a week at a time....the same week I have asked for.  When I asked my attorney he explained that she can legally do this on her time, and that when she had the kids  she could do what she wanted and when I had the kids I could do what I wanted and if either disagreed that much we woudl have to take it to court.  
Ok so when the kids were with me for 8 weekd during the summer I had to go TDY for 1 week.  I left the children with my wife and parents (kids grandparents) she told me she wouldnt allow this and I had to return them to her.
There is no Right of First Resual in our order and it says nothing about 3rd parties.
Am I not allowed to do this.?

Searched internet using "custody interference ......


Posted by Davy ® , Jul 24,2003,18:40          


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Illinois " using Google and found the following (below). When you point out the actual statues and rule of law The State's Attorney office will likely say "well we don't do that here ... you won't find a judge in this state that will hear this case".  In other words, the SA Office, judges, etc will just continue to conduct their office based on social policy rather than the rule of law which they were all sworn to enforce.  Try to persist.

The Department of Juvenile Justice web site contains info. that they conducted a study paid for by the American Bar Asso's and found ALL STATES had CRIMINAL statues for INTERFERENCE with a custody order (ie visitation).

Here is what was copied :

Visitation enforcement proceedings may be initiated in one of two ways. The aggrieved party may bring the matter before the Domestic Relations court and seek to have the alleged violator held in contempt and punished accordingly. Alternatively, the aggrieved parent may seek the assistance of the local police and the State's Attorney's office and have the violation prosecuted as a criminal case. First- and second- time offenders are punished as having committed a "petty offense" (sentences include a period of conditional discharge (sort of like probation, but where probation supervision is impracticable or would unnecessarily tax the probation department) is and/or a fine (720 ILCS 5/5-5-3). Thereafter, subsequent convictions are treated as Class A misdemeanors (prison sentences may range from six months to one year).


THE ILLINOIS UNLAWFUL VISITATION INTERFERENCE CRIMINAL LAW


720 ILCS 5/10-5.5


§ 10-5.5 Unlawful visitation interference


(a) As used in this Section, the terms "child", "detain", and "lawful custodian" shall have the meanings ascribed to them in Section 10-5 of this Code.

(b) Every person who, in violation of the visitation provisions of a court order relating to child custody, detains or conceals a child with the intent to deprive another person of his or her rights to visitation shall be guilty of unlawful visitation interference.

(c) A person committing unlawful visitation interference is guilty of a petty offense. However, any person violating this Section after 2 prior convictions of unlawful visitation interference is guilty of a Class A misdemeanor.

(d) Any law enforcement officer who has probable cause to believe that a person has committed or is committing an act in violation of this Section shall issue to that person a notice to appear.

(e) The notice shall:

(1) be in writing;

(2) state the name of the person and his address, if known;

(3) set forth the nature of the offense;

(4) be signed by the officer issuing the notice; and

(5) request to the person to appear before a court at a certain time and place.

(f) Upon failure of the person to appear, a summons or warrant of arrest may be issued.

(g) It is an affirmative defense that:

(1) a person or lawful custodian committed the act to protect the child from imminent physical harm, provided that the defendant's belief that there was physical harm imminent was reasonable and that the defendant's conduct in withholding visitation rights was a reasonable response to the harm believed imminent;

(2) the act was committed with the mutual consent of all parties having a right to custody and visitation of the child; or

(3) the act was otherwise authorized by law.

(h) A person convicted of unlawful visitation interference shall not be subject to a civil contempt citation for the same conduct for violating visitation provisions of a court order issued under the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act.

While searching the net it was somewhat of a surprise to discover a  non-gender bias wedding seating ettique when the bride's or groom's parents are divorced.    All information placed the bride and groom's mother/family in the front rows of a wedding ceremony while the father/family are considered as casual observers with the rest of the invitees except for Bride's Magazine that stated the following :

"Have them sit in separate pews—with a buffer row in between—to avoid an uncomfortable situation. The parent who was mostly responsible for raising your fiancé should sit in the front pew with his or her escort. Siblings and grandparents sit in the row behind them. The other parent and his or her escort occupy the third pew along with family and honored guests. You'll want to seat them at separate tables at the reception, too."

The father could care less about recognition or a seating arrangement but is considering wearing a dress with a corsage over the tux to counter balance an appalling glorification of a mother that has caused the most damage and dysfunction in the groom's life.

The father has never purchased a dress for himself and is asking for suggestions for a late August evening dress color that would complement ANOTHER dog and pony show.