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Topics - zutalurs

Pages: 1
1
West Virginia State Forum / Out of state
« on: Oct 06, 2005, 07:49:19 AM »
Anyone else dealing with parenting issues in West Virginia?
I live in North Carolina, but my son and his mother live in WV, so everything is handled there.
I just wanted to see if anyone else was from WV and could share some insight into the legal situation there.

2
Father's Issues / Should I fire my attorney?
« on: Mar 02, 2006, 07:23:06 AM »
Recently during an argument with BM she made reference to the fact that "my attorney even told me that your attorney thinks you are being ridiculous."  That was said about the fact that I do not answer her phone calls, and refuse to call her back if she does not leave details about why she is calling in her voice mail.  I have gotten way to many "You need to call me back" voice mails only to return the call and be subject to an onslaught of verbal abuse.
My question isn't if that is a ridiculous position, but if I should be concerned if indeed my attorney is givng away position to her attorney.
My attorney has never told me he thought I was ridiculous in that stance.  And I do know there is a good chance BM is lying just to yank my chain.
But I have felt for a while that my attorney is frustrated with this case, in particular her craziness, and I am worried that he is having conversations like this with her counsel.
Should I be concerned?  Should I start shopping for another attorney?  How can I confront him about this without offending him.  If he didn't do this, I don't want him getting his nose out of joint.

3
Father's Issues / Mother moves
« on: Jan 31, 2006, 08:14:49 AM »
Quick question.  If the CP moves a significant distance away, 3 additional hours on top of an already 6 hour distance, does the exchange automatically move?
Right now, I pick my son up in his hometown.  It's a 6 hour drive for me to get him, and then 6 hours to bring him to my home.
Once she moves, it would be 9 hours to get him, and 9 hours to bring him home.
If she doesn't submit a change in the Parenting Plan to the court, does the exchange location automatically move to her new home, or will she have to at least meet me at the old exchange location?

4
Father's Issues / BM does it again
« on: Nov 17, 2005, 04:10:50 PM »
So last weekend I was suppossed to have parenting time, I have it every three weeks from Friday morning till Monday evening.  On wednesday my attorney calls me and tells me he just got a fax from BM's attorney stating that our son had an ear infection in both ears and could not visit with me.  Arrangements were made to reschedule for this weekend.
This evening I get a call from BM stating that son still has an infection in one ear and can not travel.  She offers to let me parent with him in hometown, but this is an empty offer since she knows that I have to work each evening during this weekend.
I even asked if my mother, who was going to be transporting son to me anyway, and my wife could come to town and exercise the visit, and she refussed.
Every time there is a visit scheduled she is telling me my son is sick and shouldn't or can't come.  The last time I fought her on it and visited him anyway I ended up being assaulted when I brought him home at the end of the weekend.
We were scheduled to have a Satus hearing in two weeks, but my attorney has cancelled that because there is so much stuff we have to bring in front of the Judge that the 15 minute hearing won't be nearly long enough.  I'm really worried that BM will keep frustrating visits until we get back to court, which probably won't be until at least January.
I haven't seen my son in 4 weeks now, won't see him next week because BM has Thanksgiving this year, and I have a sneaking suspicion that the visit the first week of December will get cancelled too.
I'm so fed up I could scream.  The court has given me time with my son and I can't even exercise it because BM does crap like this.  I document, and I am preparing an all out legal assualt for when we finally get into court, but how long do we sit back and say that putting all of this off is in the child's best interest?  how long do we say that nothing can be done outside of the courtroom, and so therefore she has the ability to keep him away from his father in the several months between hearings?
I really just needed to vent, and it's very satisfying to keep referring to this she-demon as a BM.

5
Father's Issues / ruining my credit - anything I can do?
« on: Nov 10, 2005, 09:36:44 AM »
OK, so I am slowly but surely beginning to really hate the way things are set up.
At our final hearing back in June, the court ruled that back support would be due the mother, minus traveling expenses I had incurred, for the months when I wasn't paying child support.  There had been about 11 months I didn't pay anything because we had not established paternity yet.  Once we established paternity and the court set support, I have always paid on time.
Well, the BCSE never adjusted the statements that they sent me, and I did not know when/how to start makeing payments on the back support.  Legal fees being what they have been, any reserves I had are now gone and I am going to have to pay off back support a little at a time each month.
Yesterday I got the letter from BCSE saying I am over 6 months past due to pay the back support and they can take my license away if I'm not paying.
Well, come to find out that is a blanket letter they send, and I am not in danger of loosing my license.  They will do a standard repayment option through my employer to begin working on the back support amount.
What really chaps me though is that until the entire amount is paid in full, they will report my account as being over 6 months past due, each month.
Now, I have always paid on time, I have always paid the full amount owed, but that doesn't matter.  The court order decreeing back support isn't even 6 months old, and that doesn't matter either.
They told me that this system was set up as a way of going after fathers who don't pay their support, and unfortunately there is no system in place for fathers who aren't deadbeats.  So even though I am making my payments, I still get a hefty mark against my credit every month until the back amount is paid off.
So, I get punished with bad credit reports because of policy that assumes every man is going to be guilty of not paying.
This is exactly the kind of discrimination that I am getting so tired of experiencing, hearing about, and reading about.
Yes, there are deadbeat dads out there.  But there are also crack-whore moms too.  
Guys, what can we do about this?  I seriously feel like a minority that is being discriminated against by the government.  Women fought for civil rights and have won them.  People fo color fought for civil rights, and have made great strides in acheiving them.  when will fathers get together and begin fighting for our civil rights too?
I'm seriously thinking about filing a class action suit against the child support system in my state for discrimination and fraud. (They use a calculation that rounds income up instead of down, thus defrauding thousands of people out of money each year.)

6
Father's Issues / Legal Startegy
« on: Nov 02, 2005, 12:06:01 PM »
OK.  So I'm hoping for a little legal advice here.
My attorney has suggested that I bounce his conservative strategy off some other attorneys and see if they agree that what he's doing is in my best interest.
I am a father who wants custody.  Throughout the past year I have been subjected to verbal assualt by the BM's parents, lies, threats, harrassment, and all other manner of things which I believe show the BM is not a good parent and does not offer the best home for our son.
My attorney doesn't want to make a case for requesting custody yet.  He believes we should keep building our case brick by brick, slowly until it is too monumental to deny.
In a way, I agree, but I also fear for the mental and physical well being of my child while we build this case.  I also believe that the older he gets, right now he's just 21 months old, the bigger our case will need to be.  Right now, moving into daddy's house won't be nearly as traumatic for him as it might be when he is 5 years old and has become accustomed to the abuse he receives at home.
Does anyone else have an opinion?  My attorney thinks if we shoot for the moon now and loose that the judge will be biased towards me and always suspect that I am nit-picking at everything the BM does to try and get custody.  I am inclined to disagree, but I promissed him I would feel out some other opinions before asking him to change his strategy.

7
Father's Issues / I don't know what to do.
« on: Oct 06, 2005, 07:21:46 AM »
I really need some clarity on this and talking with my family is only feeding my anger.
My son is 20 months old, and lives in West Virginia. I live in North Carolina. Even though the mother fought me long and hard, trying to prevent me from having any visitation with him at all, I have court ordered visits every three weeks for four days. This schedule was set up so I could actually have time to bring my son back to NC for the visits.
Each and every visit I've had with him, local or back in NC, the mom or the grandmom has called me right before the visit to tell me how sick my son is and maybe I shouldn't get him that weekend. This happened again this past visit.
I got a call that my son had an ear infection and that driving on such a trip could burst his ear drums. I told the mom that if he was that sick, I would probably just exercise my visit in town that weekend. I then called his doctor and found out the truth. The fact was my son had the beginnings of an ear infection, and the doctor had even prescribed antibiotics only because he knew we would be traveling and as a preventative measure in case the journey made things any worse.
When I picked my son up, I could tell he felt fine and was fine to travel, but to compromise I decided to take him to my mother's home in Cincinnati, rather than all the way to NC.
My son's mother was furious that I was going against her orders to not take him out of town for the weekend. And she made this fact clear by her repetitive calls to me all weekend to check on our son and to speak with him. I finally had enough and told her that her constant calls were intrusive and harassing and that she needed to stop. As soon as I told her that she started screaming at me that she had a right to call her son whenever she wanted. Well, the court order says differently and I had had my fill of her abuse, so I told her to shut up.
Well, when I brought my son home on Monday, I arrived to find her entire family awaiting us. After I got my son out of the car and said goodbye to him, his mother began following me back to the car claiming she needed to talk to me. I told her to call me, that I would not talk to her in front of my son and with all of these people present.
At that point, her father pulled his crane-truck next to my car keeping me from pulling out or even getting out of my car. He then got out of his truck and began screaming and yelling at me that if I ever said anything derogatory about his daughter or his wife, I would not like the consequences. He also went on to say that if I "called the law on him" I really wouldn't like the consequences.
The entire time he's yelling at me, my son's mother is also trying to get her licks in as well. She kept trying to step in front of her dad and out yell him. Each time she did, he would grab her and sling her out of the way very violently. Now, bear in mind, that all of this is happening on the front lawn where I had just dropped off my 20 month old son.
Eventually I was able to get my car out and to leave. I called my attorney and told him of the altercation, and at that point he sounded optimistic that this might be something we can use to get custody of my son.
But since that call Monday night he's done nothing. I called him Tuesday and left a message that I would like to know that they did not abuse my son after I left, and he did nothing to try and get someone to see my son and make sure he was OK. He hasn't read my detailed email about what happened, and he hasn't even listened to the audio recording of the entire confrontation (I record every pick up and drop off and most phone calls).
I don't know if I'm being unreasonable expecting him to move a little quicker on this or not. I know he has other clients, but at least touching base with me, instead of me feeling like I have to hound him to get him to talk to me, would be nice.
And what about filing charges against the father? I know I have up to a year to do so, but I really don't want to keep waiting. At the same time, I don't want to file until I have gotten advice from my attorney about that.
Am I over-reacting? Should I sit back and give my attorney time, or is he dragging his feet too much?
Also, what does anyone else think about my chances of full custody based on this? She is obviously accustomed to physical abuse from her father. She is obviously not afraid or worried about exposing her son to physical abuse. How long before she finds a husband who abuses her and possibly my son?

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