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Topics - grazer

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1
Dear Socrateaser / Custody reversal & Child Support
« on: Jan 20, 2006, 09:24:51 AM »
I am in the state of Mississippi. I have been divorced for 11yrs. At time of divorce my 2 children were 8yrs(daughter) and 5yrs(son). In this state it is judicial procedure that you are required to return to the same judge that granted divorce for "all" post divorce matters, unless the judge is un-seated or you receive a court order change of venue. At divorce my ex received physical custody and I retained joint legal custody. My post divorce history has been crazy, I have appeared before this same judge aprox. 10 times.
1. child support mod. (emergency trial) by ex
2. Emergency trial to order ex to provide medical for son. by me
3. Modify visitation=transportation (ex moved away). by me
4. Fraud by ex out of pocket medical expense + order ex to provide medical insurance. by me
5. Motion to compel for medical insurance. by me
6. Medicaid Fraud by ex. by me
7. Custody to me
8. Child support to me
Several other minor=contempt by ex/me and numerous cross complaints by ex.

I was awarded custody of my 2kids April/04. Main reason that ex had failed to provide for son (special needs child). And wishes of the children.
The children were at this time 14 and 17yrs old. Also, for past wrongs that ex had committed against me (fraud, failure to provide insurance, ect.)

In August/05 ex had finally brainwashed son in returning to her and son signed a parental election stating his wishes to live with her. His main statements to me and others the reason for this wish to live with mom is that he misses her and he/she have a special bond and no other reason given. And there has not been material change of circumstance of my custody. And son has not been fighting me to go to his mom's=son hasn't been running away ect.!

Ex via emergency motion attempted to gain custody. Judge denied to change custody on an emergency basis (no grounds proved by ex). Judge stated that custody issue would be required to be heard on a "full" trial basis and requested my ex to obtain a Nov/05 court date for "full" trial. The judge stated the reason for a Nov/05 trial date that if the merits of the case showed a change in Custody that it would be near son's Christmas Holiday and mid semester/half school year.

Ex did not immediatly pursue a Nov/05 court date with the judge's administrator. Ex in Oct/05 obtained a Jan.27/06 trial date with my mutual agreement. Second week of Jan/06 ex requested to me for continuance of the Jan.27/06 court date. I refused and ex then set an appointment time with the judge during the judge's ex-parte day to request the judge to grant contiuance.

Jan/17/06 ex and I (both pro-sce) meet with judge. I give the judge my motion for dismisal of request for continuance and in my motion I state reasons for dismisal, ex did not follow judges request for trial date, this matter has been hanging over me and my son's head, if continuance granted it will preclude me from making plans for son's spring/summer activities. Ex produced a copy of a jury summons for the circuit court of her home county for the week of Jan/27/06 as her reason for continuance. I also produced copy of supreme Court ruling stating that you are not allowed to set a court date in one court and attend a trial in another court at the same time(paraphrased).

Judge granted the continuance. Siteing that it would be in son's best interest that a continuance be granted due to that a later court date would be better timing with the end of the school year. Totally ignoring what I had presented and shown as problem with continuance. Now May/06 trial date.

Questions:
1. By judge granting continuance do you feel that she has already made up her mind regarding custody. or am I just reading to much into granting continuance. (remember this judge knows us on first name basis)

2. Isn't it true that a child's election/wishes were to live is "only" part of the determination judge will use. (son is 16yrs old, but is in the 9th grade and maturity level of his peers=14-15yrs)

3. If custody is given to ex, how do I protect myself from Child Support which ex has previously frauded me, nickled/dimed me, frauded medicaid, and refused to provide for children when they were in her custody and I paid $900.00 monthly in C/S.

4. Would I be able to gain a change of venue with this trial already scheduled. Neither I or ex reside in county that has present jurisdiction.

Grazer

2
Dear Socrateaser / Change of Custody for an 18year old?
« on: Jan 29, 2004, 11:01:55 AM »
My daughter turns 18years old this year. My attorney advises me that daughter will be required to sign a statement, stating her desire to change custody. Also attorney advises that daughter will probably be required to tell the judge in person of daughter's desire to change custody.

My ex/custodial mom, is totally against the change and has already begain a full out verbal/psychological assult on daughter to prevent her from changing custody. My ex is not wanting to give up the generous child support that she recieves.

Questions:
1. What wording would you use for the statement that daughter would
    be required to sign? or some short ideas?
2. Do most judges, when asking a child of it's desire to change custody,
    would the judge ask the child in open court or would the questioning
    be done in judge's chamber?
3. If questioning by judge of child's desire is done in judge's chambers,
    are opposing/my attorney allowed to be in the room during
    questioning? Or can I demand that no attorney's be allowed while
    judge is questioning?
4. How do you prepare a child for such questioning? Not wanting to
    brainwash child, not wanting child to tell lies, not wanting child to
    anything but tell judge of it's true wishes. But also wanting child to be
    prepared and not be intimidated by judge, opposing attorney, or the
    whole scene of coming to a judge/court room and be fearful. Judges,
    court rooms, attorney's and the whole system can be very frightening
    and intimidating to even adults.

3
Parenting Issues / Do I just give up and....
« on: Feb 06, 2006, 10:48:26 AM »
Do I just give up? I obtained custody of my handicapped son in April/04 from my ex/BM. Ex had custody for 7yrs prior to me obtiaing custody. Son is 16yrs old, but only in the 9th grade due to prior medical issues. Son maturity level is that of his peers (normal 9th graders 14-15yrs of age). And due to his medical issues and his BM babying him, he's maturity age is more that of a 13-14yr old in my opinion and opinion of other family members. I gained custody of son because of several reasons; ex failing to provide for him, his desire to come and live with me, that his mom had mid-school year taken son out of regular school and was going to home school but for 2month never actually implemented/facilitated his home schooling, failed to maintain his therapies, and refused to gain qualified doctors for son's care.

When son came to live with me I provided for him; several qualified medical doctors to follow his care, qaulified physical/occupational therapist, small private school, tutoring, encouraged his participation in school marching band, made sure envloved in church, ect. Son appeared happy for the first 6-12months of him living with me. Grades were good, he had semi-regular visitation with his BM, made friends, went on camp trips church/band. I attended to his every need and attended all activities. I did everything I knew to do to make his life happy and special.

In Summer/05 things begain to change. Son begain being somewhat withdrawn from activities/friends and begain wanting more and more time spent with his BM. His BM lives 3.5hours away. The last week of Summer/05 ex enabled/coached son to lie to me and not return for his final week of summer before school started. When son finally did return (gone whole week rather than just the weekend--a lot of background to this incident not given) son stated that he wanted to go back to live with his mom.

His mom allows him to be very lazy, allows him to do whatever he wishes, mom babies him, mom cudles/promotes his im-mature behavior, mom tucks him into bed (16yrs old), son/mom's favorite activities is watching movies-rented/at theater and dinning out and church. Son here has chores/restrictions/firm but loving home.

Ex has set a court date for a custody hearing. Originally set for Nov/05, then reset/delayed till Jan/06 and now set for May/06. Son has signed a letter of parental election stating that he wishes to live with his mom, brainwashing by his mom and son's mom babying him.

Son now has begun this behavior of acting like his mom has already gain custody of him and he's just living here until the court order is fullfilled. Son is acting to his friends at school that he's not going to be there next year and thus really not attempting to be a part. Son is demanding to attend all of his EOW visitation, giving up activities here that he normally would have died to go to; to be allowed to attend EOW visitation. Son has begun to pull away from me and his family here and all he desires to do is play video games/watch tv in his room(I know some of the video is age approperiate).

I have had long talks about his decision and his desire to go back and live with his mom. I have attempted to explain that his life wasn't so good when he lived his mom before and that the things that I had/have provided for him are things that will greatly determine his future and that in my opinion and opinion of other family members (ex own parents) that son's future/adulthood will greatly harmed by him going to live with his mom. That this is a very serious concern and not to be taken lightly or taken just because things will be easier for him and he will not be forced to grow up.

So, between now and the time May/06 court date comes, do I just give up and back off. Do I just let him go? Do I just shut up? Do I just let him experince this for himself? Do I just let him be up his mother's $&*@ and wrong nuturing of him? Note: his mother is the master manipulator and is very psycotic. Do I attempt further explain my concerns, thus further alienating him from me? (everything I say is wrong and everything his mom does is correct/marvelous) Do I even fight this in court, knowing in little over 1.5yrs he'll be 18yrs and can demand to go live with his mom then and legally be able to(even though he will be in the 11th grade)?

Feed back from persons that have had this happen to them would be greatly appreciated.

Grazer

4
Custody Issues / Geesh, It never ends
« on: Jan 18, 2006, 09:42:30 AM »
For the old timmer's here will hopefully remember me. I gained custody of my 2kids from my ex/BM in April/04. My son (16yrs old) that has now been brainwashed by his mom, wants to go back to live with his mom. He's signed a legal parental election form when he was with his mom for visitation. My son is a special needs child and I've provided many things medical, school and social that his mom never did or refused to provide for him.

I will write back when I have more time to explain the whole story!

Geesh it just doesn't ever end!!!

Grazer

5
I can hardly believe it. So I have to keep typing it over and over again.
I'M A FULL TIME DADDY AGAIN!!!!
I was yesterday awarded full "physical" custody of my 2children. My daughter that is 18yrs old and my son that is 14yrs old.
Wow, I'm still in shock! After 10 long years of being messed with, thwarted, PAS, having my children moved away from me, my ex neglecting my children and just about any other thing that my kids BM could do to mess with me and my children's relationship. I now have custody.

I truely wish to thank "ALL" person's that have listened to all my years of coming to this site(since aprox. 1998). That have listened, given advice and generally been very supportive. And I especially would like to thank Waylon, the founder, creator and thriving force of this site(Waylon can you believe it).

Now, I'm going to need help being a full time daddy to my kids. LOL Something that I haven't done in over 10yrs.

Also, praise God, for prayers are truely answered!!!!!!!

AGAIN, I'M A FULL TIME DADDY!!!

6
I can hardly believe it. So I have to keep typing it over and over again.
I'M A FULL TIME DADDY AGAIN!!!!
I was yesterday awarded full "physical" custody of my 2children. My daughter that is 18yrs old and my son that is 14yrs old.
Wow, I'm still in shock! After 10 long years of being messed with, thwarted, PAS, having my children moved away from me, my ex neglecting my children and just about any other thing that my kids BM could do to mess with me and my children's relationship. I now have custody.

I truely wish to thank "ALL" person's that have listened to all my years of coming to this site(since aprox. 1998). That have listened, given advice and generally been very supportive. And I especially would like to thank Waylon, the founder, creator and thriving force of this site(Waylon can you believe it).

Now, I'm going to need help being a full time daddy to my kids. LOL Something that I haven't done in over 10yrs.

Also, praise God, for prayers are truely answered!!!!!!!

AGAIN, I'M A FULL TIME DADDY!!!

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