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Topics - hardtofix

#1
Dear Socrateaser / DYFS NJ- psych evaluation
Apr 30, 2007, 07:40:43 AM
My STBX told our child that I was doing a DNA test, that I did not want him,  that my new partner was pregnant.  All lies- except the DNA test.  STBX has now been documented that she tells our son too much information by the therapist, the school counselor and social worker from DYFS.

I sent one email to STBX during this whole divorce process out of anger. It was mean and directed all the lies she had told me back to her. I knew she would use it against me in court. According to the school counselor, my STBX read that email outloud to our son. 5 days later, my son had an altercation at school and told the counselor school he wanted to kill himself so he would be out of everyone's way. She had him sent to an emergency room- my STBX did not go- she sent her mother and did not leave work to bring our son home. Social worker and the school counselor filed abuse complaints with DYFS. DYFS did nothing until it was escalated and a new worker was assigned.  I got a call from this person and then she went on a week vacation.

May 15th I was supposed to be in an all day divorce settlement conference, now I am suing for custody and not concerned with divorce. The DYFS worker is coming to the court house to interview my son,  me, and my STBX on this day as well. STBX is still interfering with any phone time, any requests to visit my son, have a joint counseling session with the therapist, etc.  How can she have so much control when she is self destructing and harming an 8 year old boy - I ask myself. She is really hurting and I feel bad and have "changed my tune" with her so to speak. I have called and asked how I can help, apologized, etc. - No response.  

STBX's mother and her boyfriend called me and told me to sue for custody, that my son had again said he wanted to crawl in a box and be buried, that my son was suffering----but she can't be trusted either.  The apple does not fall far from the tree.

1. Does DYFS run psych evaluations?
2. How likely- that if they were to pull him from his mother that DYFS would give him to me- 2800 miles away?
3. My current girlfriend and I agreed on custody- should she come to the hearing too?
4. Is it likely to get the court to order the STBX into counseling to protect our son from her verbal crisis?
5. Can we get DYFS records from the previous cases that were open re: my son as part of my custody suit?
6. The first therapist will not give me a summary of my son's time with him without my STBX' permission- can I get DYFS to make her sign a release and get the records as part of their investigation?
7. Why can't I file for emergency custody?

Thank you
#3
My lawyer is making 30 minutes time for me at end of week. Assures me I do not need to worry about being prepared. I don't feel comfortable. I am assuming STBX will settle on a few things since she is focused on the child, but I could be very wrong. She is vengeful and a woman scorned. We have not lived together for 40 months. Am saying no to alimony and her attny fees. Child support I have no issue with. Property -sold last year. Credit card debt she is claiming had incurred since we separated.

1. What are some ramifications to watch out for regarding child support payment and length of time?

2.  Is it true that if we do have a settlement agreement drafted that the custody and visitation is handled separately?

3.  Is the ESP like a bifurcation in New Jersey?

5. Do I need to be watchful or aware of anything more regarding her debt?

Hope you had a good vacation.

Best Regards
#4
Is it best to wait for the court to order a home evaluation?

I would like to be proactive. We do not have a GAL nor any evaluation ordered yet. My lawyer indicates in his copied correspondence that he must have had a conversation with the judge on this subject however.

My son has severe emotional issues resulting from this divorce. DYFS is involved. The school is very concerned. I have alot to show in my favor, but the biggest thing against me is the move to Seattle. My wife changed her mind after I moved and then filed for divorce.  She allows ZERO contact with my son and I since Sept 2005. Will not speak to me and showed up to mediation 2 weeks ago unwilling to negotiate. Mediator says she can't be succesful with us.  I have posted before.  Right now, it is financially impossible to move back to NJ. Thank you for that recommendation, would like to win the lottery.

Currently I am gathering the support available from the local school district to present my case to ask for me to be the parent of primary residence.

I am enrolled in a parenting class that starts next Monday for ADD/ADHD children. My wife refuses to take son to diagnosis/treatment but the Child Study team reported that his behavior is atypical for an ADD/ADHD child.

What else can you recommend I do that would help the case?

My lawyer is very slow and I am becoming increasingly frustrated at his lack of availability.

Thank you for your help.