I know I've asked about this a couple times, but I'm still trying to figure out the smoothest way of doing this.
The divorce decree and all court orders in this case were issued in a New York State court. I live in Colorado and have custody of the minor child. The order gives the NCP, currently living in New Hampshire, summer and holiday visitation three times a year, plus a never-used right to visitation in my area with reasonable notice.
Social Services in my county has issued a founded report of sexual abuse against the NCP--inappropriate touching--and recommended only supervised visitation pending treatment etc.
The abuse took place where NCP used to live in Massachusetts; the police have completed their criminal investigation, and the detective in charge has called and told me that the DA will leave it up to me whether or not to prosecute. According to her, I can call up the DA and say, "Go ahead, let's do it," any time before the seven-year statute of limitations runs out. A conviction would ruin NCP's career as a physician and imperil NCP's immigration status.
Social Services says they cannot (or will not) file a "Dependency and Neglect" petition to prevent NCP's unsupervised contact. It is unclear whether this is because NCP is not a Colorado resident or because the abuse took place out of state or because the child is safe with her CP, me. I have asked if this is because they don't consider the offense (fondling) serious enough--they have assured me it has nothing to do with the severity of the offense. They consider this a case that should be acted upon; they believe the child has to be protected.
Given the extremely high estimates I have been quoted so far (I live in a very rural area with few choices in family law attorneys) for domestication of my New York State case and modification of the order, I am considering going pro se--thus my earlier post.
The only purpose of domesticating my decree here would be this modification. I will probably not stay in Colorado over a year longer, and really would just as soon leave the case in NY.
But I wonder if there is an even easier alternative. NCP has declared at least twice--to the police and to an adult child--that she does not want to see the minor child any more. NCP spent a huge amount of money on the custody battle four or five years ago--firing one attorney who told her she had no choice but to settle and finding a firm willing to spend as much money as she would give them. She ended up hiring back the previous attorney to negotiate the post-trial agreement, which gave her less than she could have settled for. Although communication and relations have been bad since then, NCP has never gone back to court, and all evidence suggests she sees the legal arena as a place she can't win.
So I am thinking of writing a letter to NCP, suggesting that my attorney in NY write up a stipulated change in the visitation order, following the recommendations of Social Services. I would emphasize that I wouldn't like to see her go to jail or have career problems, but that the authorities will not accept her "I don't want to see her" as sufficient and the visitation order will have to be changed.
Knowing NCP, I think there is a decent chance of this appealing to her. It has to be a letter, because she will not let me get a word in edgewise on the phone. I will write in her native language, which she and I spoke together, so that it will seem more informal than previous letters I've written about issues that came in during visitation.
1) Can NCP and I stipulate such a change to the parenting plan, and can we file it with the court of the old state without changing jurisdiction?
2) Is there any possible harm in me writing such a letter to NCP? What are the possible dangers? May I eventually post the English draft for your comments?
The divorce decree and all court orders in this case were issued in a New York State court. I live in Colorado and have custody of the minor child. The order gives the NCP, currently living in New Hampshire, summer and holiday visitation three times a year, plus a never-used right to visitation in my area with reasonable notice.
Social Services in my county has issued a founded report of sexual abuse against the NCP--inappropriate touching--and recommended only supervised visitation pending treatment etc.
The abuse took place where NCP used to live in Massachusetts; the police have completed their criminal investigation, and the detective in charge has called and told me that the DA will leave it up to me whether or not to prosecute. According to her, I can call up the DA and say, "Go ahead, let's do it," any time before the seven-year statute of limitations runs out. A conviction would ruin NCP's career as a physician and imperil NCP's immigration status.
Social Services says they cannot (or will not) file a "Dependency and Neglect" petition to prevent NCP's unsupervised contact. It is unclear whether this is because NCP is not a Colorado resident or because the abuse took place out of state or because the child is safe with her CP, me. I have asked if this is because they don't consider the offense (fondling) serious enough--they have assured me it has nothing to do with the severity of the offense. They consider this a case that should be acted upon; they believe the child has to be protected.
Given the extremely high estimates I have been quoted so far (I live in a very rural area with few choices in family law attorneys) for domestication of my New York State case and modification of the order, I am considering going pro se--thus my earlier post.
The only purpose of domesticating my decree here would be this modification. I will probably not stay in Colorado over a year longer, and really would just as soon leave the case in NY.
But I wonder if there is an even easier alternative. NCP has declared at least twice--to the police and to an adult child--that she does not want to see the minor child any more. NCP spent a huge amount of money on the custody battle four or five years ago--firing one attorney who told her she had no choice but to settle and finding a firm willing to spend as much money as she would give them. She ended up hiring back the previous attorney to negotiate the post-trial agreement, which gave her less than she could have settled for. Although communication and relations have been bad since then, NCP has never gone back to court, and all evidence suggests she sees the legal arena as a place she can't win.
So I am thinking of writing a letter to NCP, suggesting that my attorney in NY write up a stipulated change in the visitation order, following the recommendations of Social Services. I would emphasize that I wouldn't like to see her go to jail or have career problems, but that the authorities will not accept her "I don't want to see her" as sufficient and the visitation order will have to be changed.
Knowing NCP, I think there is a decent chance of this appealing to her. It has to be a letter, because she will not let me get a word in edgewise on the phone. I will write in her native language, which she and I spoke together, so that it will seem more informal than previous letters I've written about issues that came in during visitation.
1) Can NCP and I stipulate such a change to the parenting plan, and can we file it with the court of the old state without changing jurisdiction?
2) Is there any possible harm in me writing such a letter to NCP? What are the possible dangers? May I eventually post the English draft for your comments?