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Topics - cupobutter

#1
Moms Without Custody / UPDATE!
Mar 29, 2006, 08:36:49 AM
So, I'm sure everyone read my previous post.  Well, over the past few years (since I've had some sort of internet access) I've been randomly posting searches for my daughter.

     Her father must have recently tripped over one, b/c he emailed me.  He started by saying that he'd hoped I'd grown up b/c he has, and that he wants to be civil.

 But then he emails me again and ask me where I disapeared to all these years, and why am I trying to see Sandra now.  (I've lived in the same small town all these years, and amazingly he seems to locate me whenever he wants.)  Also, he's the one who had his number changed and unlisted, then just disapeared.  I called his family multiple times!  Even as recently as 2001.  But, they wouldn't tell me anything.

The he turns around and tells me to take down my "Missing Childrens" post for Sandra, or I'll never hear from him or her again.  But that's not a threat, he doesn't want any mistrust.  

So I found my divorce papers, and I'm setting up an appt. with a lawyer.  I'm also trying to get copies of police reports from when the police responded to domestic abuse calls at our residence.  

~Does anyone know what I have to do to obtain this info, is it public??~

#2
Moms Without Custody / Parental Alienation
Mar 10, 2006, 02:04:48 PM
Long story:
  I was an abused wife for two years.  Finally he tried to kill me, my neighbors heard the commotion and called the police.  They also kicked our door in.  During our marriage he didn't let me have a job for a long time, when he did finally let me get a job he insisted on driving me to and from.  He wouldn't let me get a license.  He also intercepted my paychecks.  I never had any money of my own, only a small allowance he would give me.

Anyways, I ran w/ our daughter but b/c I didn't have any friends, family, car or money to get a hold of, I found myself feeling defeated.  Also he got a restraining order returning the custody of our daughter to him.  (He had a scratch from when I tried to fight him off.)

IN the end he got our daughter and moved her to the other side of the United States.  He told me that if I tried to contact our daughter that the police would arrest me.  After he had moved a couple of times I got a hold of him and he said that my parental rights had been terminated.  And that his new wife was my daughter's legal mother now.  And I being only 19, young and dumb, believed him.  I asked for proof, but he just hung up on me, and once again disapeared.  So hopeless, homeless, and never had to live on my own, I gave up.  

Now, after I've gotten my GED, graduated college w/ an associates degree and now have a steady job and 3 boys who would like to meet their sister, I want to do something to see her.

I've recently found out that he's relocated to yet another state, and this has been going on for 10 yrs.  I just don't know what to do, let alone the fact that I'm terrified of her father.


Just needed to unload.  I also found out that I have joint custody (him having physical), I owe years of Child support that I didn't know about, nor did he attempt to collect on.  IN the divorce papers he suppose to allow reasonable visitation and notify me when he moves.  He's never done any of this.  I'm in contempt for the child support, that I'm currently putting money to the side for each month, and he's in contempt for alienating me.
#3
Dear Socrateaser / Should I even try...
Mar 21, 2006, 06:25:12 AM
Case details: Divorce finalized July 1995 in Idaho.  Joint custody with him having primary.  I was allowed visitation, but no terms were ever set up.  In court papers he was to let me know of his and our daughter's address and phone number, he was also ordered to allow me contact with daughter.

    Shortly after divorce he disapeared, a few months later he contacted me and asked me to move to Utah where he was now living, and gave me contact information.  When I refused he cut off all contact, and eventually disapeared.  Myself, I was homeless and working on getting my GED, so I had no resources to find him or to hire legal help.

  I went on state assistance around 1997-98, and have just recently made enough money to get off of it.  Now I finally have a phone and some internet access.  I've located ex and child in Arizona.

1.) I found out that I've owed CS all these years, and am now saving the money for it.  Where do I send the money? (AZ or ID)

2.) Will the courts allow me to see my daughter after all of these years?

3.) Visitation:   What are my chances of the courts ruling in my favor, based off of his lack of notification to the courts of his whereabouts? (I've always lived in the same small town, and can be easily found through CS office if he wanted to find me.)

4.) Should I try to fight for seeing my child, or should I just let it go until she's 18?

Thank you, I tried to follow your guidelines as best as I could.
Nic.
#4
General Issues / A couple questions
Mar 29, 2006, 08:42:44 AM
A.) How does one go about getting copies of police reports?  (They're for when police showed up at our residence after neighbors called in a domestic, the second time they asked my (now ex)husband to leave.)

B.) I've heard that you can change jurisdiction in a case, if the court papers don't state that that state retains jurisdiction, and that I can have the jurisdiction changed to my current state of residence.  Is that true?  And how does one do it?