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Topics - meet virginia

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I was searching abstracts from the VA court of appeals the other night and I finally found a case where the father won just because the mother was being a b****.   The case was in Fairfax county in 1996, Etter v. Etter.  In a nutshell, the parties entered into an agreement instead of letting the judge decide their fate.  They agreed to joint legal with mother as primary physical.  Mother refused to consult father on required issues such as medical care, education, etc.  She even changed one kid's school and refused to discuss it with him afterward.  She refused to communicate with him face to face, only by letter, phone and fax.  She refused to let him pick the kids up just one time and he had to call the cops to get them.  The trial judge found that the parties could not have forseen their inability to get along when they entered into the agreement, and although the father was not blameless, the mother was resisting all of his efforts to get along and follow the agreement.  So the father got legal and physical custody from her, and the VA court of appeals upheld the trial court's decision.  I hope someone out there dealing with this type of situation can use this in their case!!!

Virginia State Forum / Anyone out there?
« on: Apr 14, 2006, 09:14:21 PM »
Is there anyone else in Virginia going through the same hell my family is?  I'd love to chat with anyone else about the lack of father's rights in the commonwealth.  My husband and I have just been through round one of the campaign to have equal rights to his son.  He was never married to the mother, she was seeing someone else while living with him, and she took off right after discovering she was pregnant.  Now she is raising his son with another guy playing daddy (one she can control) and NO ONE CARES!!!  We were told we were lucky to get the agreement we did, and my husband only has his son an average of nine hours a week!  I'd love to share experiences with anyone else living through this.

Dear Socrateaser,

I am new to the forums and am hoping to benefit from some of your brilliant advice!:)   Long story somewhat shorter...We live in Virginia.  My husband got a girl pregnant in December 2004, before we were married and I had called a "break."  She had been staying with him because she lost her apartment, but as soon as she discovered she was pregnant, she freaked and left him for another guy.  He paid all of her medical costs for 9 months and went to all Dr visits until the girl stopped telling him when they were.  Fast forward to 9/05, he and I are back together and baby is born with my husband and her boyfriend both there.  

Girl has history of mental illness, domestic abuse from ex, use of heavy drugs, problem drinking, etc.  None of which we can prove without testimony that no one is willing to give, or without her medical records. (her divorce record makes no mention of abuse.)  She has straightened up considerably, but is now raising my step son with her new man playing daddy, and my husband having him Tue/thur eves for 2 hours and every other Sat for 7.5 hours.  Lawyer says we were lucky to get this much time with a 6 month old and should be happy.  The agreement (railroading) husband signed says she only has to offer him extra time if she will be using a sitter for more than 4 hours and for a NON WORK RELATED REASON.  Meaning she can send SS to trailer daycare even if husband is off work.  Meanwhile, I am available all day every day.  I have a bachelors degree in psych with a minor in education and dearly love this little boy.  He has had numerous eye, ear infections, colds, stomach flu etc just in the past 4 months from day care.  Lawyer says in Virginia dad has no rights to over ride daycare, let alone step mom.  Is there anything we can do?  Mom is psycho control freak and will not listen to reason.  I don't want to replace mom, just be daycare.

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