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Hey Guys,

I have a friend that needs help with an ex. He owes over 30 thousand in CS. She has info on his employer but for safety reasons doesn't want to call directly.

Can anyone find a link on line that will offer a way to get the info to the emforcement unit so we can get this guy to pay the measly $50 per wk


Thanks
Hagatha

Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing

Soc,

All parties live in PA.

Father has terminal brain cancer. Parents have been seperated for almost five years. Mother refuses to sign final papers because she will not receive any money if the divorce is finalized.

Child is 16 and had quit school, with mothers blessing. However since learning of fathers health problem has re-enrolled him in school. (child failed 8th grade and decided he did not want to repeat the grade. She moved to another county and somehow got him into 9th grade)

Father has no attorney and given the health problems can not afford counsel. (we're working on that)

Questions

1). Is there any way to "fast track" the divorce without mothers signiture?

2) Can father prevent mother from getting any of his pension?

3) Can father prevent mother from getting any social security benifits?

4) Should son fail to attend school or quit school before the death of father can mother still optain SS benifits for child?

5) Should father make a new will but include mother (leave her $1.) to prevent her from contesting the new will?

6) Any other suggestions?? (Daughter does Not want mother to benifit in any way from fathers death)


Thanks
The Witch

Soc,

I am hoping you can point me in the right direction.

I am living in PA but working in NJ. as a cashier.

First problem ...When I was hired for my job I was told I would get a raise after 90 days. I have been there 6 months and am still waiting. I already reminded my supervisor and my manager several times.  I have also been told by other employees they also waited months for their raises, and I should not expect any retroactive pay.

Second problem.... the cashiers work any where from a 4 hour shift to a 9 hour shift. We do not get scheduled breaks or lunches. We are permitted a smoke break, not to exceed 5 minutes only if the store is not crowded. It is entirely conceivable to work 5 or 6 hours without any break what-so-ever. Lunch breaks are completely non-existent. We may eat, if we choose, but it is done at the register.

I know I should just quit, but until I get a new job, I am stuck.


Questions,

1. Are there any laws that would force my employer to pay me retroactive to the day I should have gotten my raise?

2. Isn't there some law or provision regarding breaks and lunches that employers must abide by?

3. Do I contact the NJ state labor board?

 Any other suggestions?

The Witch

Soc,

My daughter was the victim of a DV assult. The assult happened while she was pregnant. The BF is presently in state custody. He will be released the en of the month.

 There is a RO in place that expires June '07.

There is a criminal court Stay Away Order that will not expire until Nov 2014.

Daughters fiancee was present for child's birth and signed the affidavit of paternity and is currently listed on the child's BC as father. Child is covered under his insurance and is listed as his daughter.

The BF filed a petition (from jail) for custody/visitation.

The hearing officer (here it is a master) dismissed the petition because paternity had not been legally established. He suggested the BF find an attorney and petition and pay for a paternity test after he is released. Also during the hearing the master informed the BF of the childs true last name and the affidavit of paternity my daughter presented to him.

Daughter and FSIL have a agreed order for shared physical and legal custody.

Should the BF choose to proceed with a paternity action and custody petition they, my daughter and FSIL would petition to terminate.

Facts regarding BF as follows;

1. BF has a criminal history of violence and DV.  Several RO's from previous girlfriends and other family members including his father.

2. BF has an admitted history of drug abuse. (BF admitted in open court he agreed to an early parole from a previous drug charge and accepted the conditions to live in half-way house and attend AA & NA meetings with the sole intention of violating the terms of parole immediatley upon his release. He actually stated he accepted this release so he could be free to abuse drugs again) His statement was made during the sentencing phase of the DV conviction.

3. BF violated the RO continually from the origional issue date until the criminal court Judge issued her Stay Away Order and imposed his sentance.

4. BF violated the "spirit" of the Stay Away Order issued by the criminal court. While the Judge did not impose any additional time to his existing sentance, she did issue a warning that any further violations would be dealt with swiftly and severly. She also extended the order to include any contact with the child outside a family court order.

(The violation of the Stay away order involved the BF sending a letter to the child who is only 16 mths old.)

5. The BF has another child that he neither sees or supports. Several months ago the BF wrote to several neighbors asking for their help to kidnap that child. The child is in the custody of the maternal grandmother and she is in the process of moving far, far away. She has not, to my knowledge attempted to take any legal action. However, I am trying to get copies of the letters to use, if needed.

6. The BF has not been able to maintain employment for longer than a month or so and has no real visable means of support, no real marketable skills and no family willing to help him get on his feet.

7 the BF is 28 yrs old and has been in the criminal court system since he was a juvinile.

8. We have second hand knowledge, but no proof, the BF will make an attempt to grab my daughter and/or my grand-daughter.

Question:

1. In your opinion, are the facts regarding the BF sufficient to terminate should BF choose to challange paternity?

2. If not sufficient what more would be needed?

Thanks,
The Witch

Soc,

I have been reading about 2 seperate issues or proposals and am wondering what you think about the merits of each. Both have major impacts on the parents and children

First, the suit for the father to terminate his obligations to an as of yet unborn. I believe his argument follows the ideas in Roe-v-Wade. In as much as a woman has the right to decide to become a parent, or abort. A man should have the same choice to become a parent or walk away. Equal protection under the law and all that.

Personally I doubt this will ever work as it does go against public policy to have children supported financially by their parents.


Second is a new bill being proposed in NY by state assemblymen David McDonough. This bill would in effect notify the NCP of any and all police activity made to or about the CP's home. I assume this would then give the NCP the opportunity to petition for a change of custody based on the facts in the complaint.

While I agree with the premise I can't see how this would work effectively. Since the police see family problems as civil matters and don't usually interfere.

What do you think??


The Witch

Soc,

This has nothing to do with family court. I guess this would be considered a employment issue.

Union dues are deducted once a month, either the first or second week. However, if employee is ill during that pay period, the company frequently forgets to take the dues out the next pay period. Most employees don't think about the dues coming out of their checks. They only look at the bottom line, the actual amount they get to take home.

Every 3 yrs the union does an audit of it's books. Any employee that is "deliquent in payments" (3-6 months)is terminated from the union. Even though the employee has been paying dues during the 3 yrs. The union then required the employee to pay the initiation fee ($550) to be reinstated in the union. There is no notice given. The "fee" simply gets deducted every week, at twice the regular dues amount every week till the "fee" is paid.

This is a union shop. If you are not in the union and not a manager, you don't work.

1. Is this legal?

2. Is there anything we can do to stop this deduction and get the $200 already paid returned?

3. Wouldn't a company, in this case a union, be required to reconsile the books annually?

Thanks,
The Witch

Soc,

My D went to court to extend the RO. It was granted mainly because the defendant wrote more than 50 letters to her after this Judge issued the RO. Kinda pissed him off. That an the 10 yr stay away order from the criminal court.

Initally he was given a choice between an agreed order without admission of guilt, or a trial. He was leaning towards a trial until the Judge explained D would be able to use the letters he wrote as evidence and that if the Judge found those letters credable evidence he could choose to charge him with contempt and each letter would be a seperate count, and each count could carry a 6 month sentence. The Judge urged him to "Make the right decision and not piss him off".

The main difference between an RO and a stay away oeder, at least here is;

If a defendant violates an RO the police can be called and an arrest can be immediately made. If the defendant is not there when the police arrive they issue a warrent and wait till he is picked up.

If a defendant violates a stay away order, the victim must contact the DA's office who then contacts the Judge that issued the order, who then contact the parol/probation officer and issues an order for the sherriff to pick him up.

The defendant was also instructed by the family court Judge to cease any communication with or concerning the baby until his release.  Which pretty much killed his petition for visitation.

All good for us at the moment.

On a different note.
This defendant also has a son by a different mother. That child is in the custody of the grandparents as the mother died of cancer shortly after the boy was born. The boy will be 5 yrs old in march.

Today the mother found letters written to the deceased mother apoligizing for the abuse he did to her. And was told recently by her neighbors, the defendant had written letters to them asking for their help to kidnap his son and flee the state. (not the sharpest crayon in the box)

Questions:

1 Can the other grandmother use the letters and testimony of her neighbors to ask the DA's office to charge him with conspirity(sp) to kidnap?

2. The other grandparents are attempting to have the court grant them sole physical and legal custody. Can they use these letters to not only gain the custody action they seek, but terminate his custodial rights?

3. Can my D use this information also to petition to terminate and step parent adopt?

Thanks,
the Witch

Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

Soc,

I have been informed that, in Phila, Pa at least there are some changes that have been made in not only obtaining RO's but extending them as well.

First, in order to obtain a RO, the plaintiff must show clear and convincing  evidence that physical abuse has taken place. Now just "being afraid" of violence by a spouse or SO is not enough.  Womans groups are trying to change this policy, bu the court is being firm in it's stance because too many people have abused the system to control their ex's in custody matters.

Second, if you have obtained a RO aginst someone and want the RO extended, you must show evidence the defendent has made violent attempts to hurt you, or has hurt you. Unsubstanciated threats don't court. The defendant must actually DO something.

One of the problems facing the court here is the enormity of backlogged cases. So the clerks have taken it upon themselves to deny petitioners the opportunity to file for orders or extentions. They are not allowed to turn petioners away, however they continue to deny filings.

When trying to file an extention of the RO my D was at first turned away. It took a lot of intervention from womans groups and calls to the Chief Judge for us to be able to go back in. after the origional RO expired and file a petition to extend.

The hearing is scheduled for Wednesday. The defendant is still incarserated in state custody for the DV against my D. He will not be in the courtroom, they are doing a phone conference for him. We want the extention because he will be released in May.

The defendant was writing an average of 2 - 3 letters a week to D from the time he was arrested till he was sentenced in criminal court. My D received about 70 letters which were written after the RO was in place. This should have been enough to hold him in contempt, but mis-communication and lost paperwork screwed things up. There has been no communication since sentencing till this past December.

The Chief Judge was made aware the criminal court Judge issued a written 10 yr stay away order. I believe she has spoken with the criminal court Judge and suggested we include the Stay Away order in the petition to extend.

Questions

1. Given the courts new criteria for extending RO's what info would you suggest we present to the Judge to have him understand the defendant is violent and would have violated the RO if he had not been in jail?


Any other suggestions you may have would be appreciated

The Witch

Soc,

state ia PA

Father is presently in state custody for criminal DV against mother. Father sentenced to 18 mths State custody and an additional 10 yrs reporting State probation with the condition set forth in Judges Stay Away Order.

Order states:

And now, wit, this 8th day of Novemner 2004 it is ordered and decreed that a protective order is entered under 18 P.S. Section 4954 on behalf of (XXXX XXXX), family and friends. (the family part is the question here)

It is hereby ordered that the defendant (his name) is prohibited from contacting ot intimidating the above mentioned person(s) either personally or by family, friends, acquaintances or agents and the defendant have no communication what so ever, directly or indirectly with the person(s) named above except through an attorney for a period of 10 years.

This is signed by the criminal court Judge. I am told commiting a defendant to state custody and adding 10 yrs reporting state probation is unheard of in this area on a DV case.

There is also a Order of Protection issued by a family court judge.

The father prior to being sentenced in criminal court, violated the protection order issued by family court. (He wrote 76 letters from the time he was placed in custody till the day after sentencing) The criminal court Judge took this into consideration when sentencing the father.

There is a 11 mth old child that is not listed specifically on the family court protection order, mainly because mother was still pregnant when order was issued. The baby is also not specifically listed on the criminal court stay away order.

The father recently filed for visitation of baby in family court. That is it's own problem and I'll be asking questions on what documents I will need to present at that hearing.

My question here regards the most recent event.

Father sent the child a letter today. It was not threatening in any way. It was not signed and there was no return address. However it is stamped by the prisions mail room department and the hand writing is the same., As is the mis-spelling of the word baby. We are sure the letter was sent by the father. SInce the baby is too young to really receive mail, the mother received the correspondance.

Questions:

1. Do you think a case could be made that either order was violated by his attempting to correspond with the baby? We are more concerned with Criminal court as that Judge would be more likely to find contempt and order continued state time.

2. How does/ would this effect his visitation petition?

Thanks so much

The Witch


Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

Soc,

State is PA, Phila county

Mother involved in relationship with man that physically abused her and is currently in state custody for the assult. His sentence ends in late may and after will be on state probation for 10 yrs. There is a stay away order for the entire 10 yrs.

A RO was issued and that expires early December. Mother will be asking for an extention of the RO for an additional 18 months. Until bio-father was sentenced on the assult charge he violated the RO weekly. Mother filed for contempt but since bio-father was already in jail the court decided not to add more time, but issued another stay away order.

Mother was pregnant at the time of the assult and during the assult bio-father stated his intention of killing the baby.  bio-Father is extreamly possessive and stated, further, mother would not be permitted to allow someone else to raise his child. He didn't succeed in hurting the baby and she is now 11 mths old

Mother became engaged during pregnancy and STBH accepted responsibility for the child and signed acknowledgement of paternity and the BC. Child has his last name.

Yesterday mother rec'd petition for custody/visitation from bio-father. Coincidently, the hearing is scheduled for 1 wk after the RO will expire

Questions

1. How hard would it be to add the baby to the RO? and does a RO trump visitation hearing?

2. Does signing acknowledgement of paternity make STBH the legal father?

3. Can mother and STBH enter into a custody agreement allowing them to have joint physical and legal custody before the december court date?
or
4. Can mother sign custody over to grandmother before court date?

5. Can mother request bio-father is not in same room during hearings?

6. Do I wait to respond to the petition until after the petition to extend the RO?

7. If STBH is removed from BC can I petition to terminate with step-parent adoption before the wedding or must we wait till we are actually married?

8. Would the court order mother to bring child to state pen for visits if bio-father were to actually get visitation? (BTW bio-father has other charges in 2other counties, we are waiting to hear what will happen with these charges. bio-father may be released from state pen into custody of a county jail)

9. Any other suggestions???

The Witch
Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

Soc,

State is PA, philadelphia county

Parents not married. No visitation orders yet although parents are following the standard EOW plan. Child is 3 yrs old.

Father is recovering adict and has been clean & sober for more than 6 mths. Mother still active adict.

When returning child to mothers residence father finds her intoxicated or otherwise incapasitated. Father must stay at mothers residence until child is in bed and completely asleep as mother is not capable of caring for child. Drug use is apparent as mother leaves pot/papers and/or white powder etc in living room. Father is very afraid of kidnapping charge if child is not returned Sunday night.

Father has conviction of assult and drug charge from last yr. (assult charge was from bar fight, mother was not involved)

1. Can father refuse to leave child with mother if he finds her drunk or high? and if so do you recommend a police report be made?

2. Would you recomend getting welfare checks for child during the week also?

3. Should father file ex-parte after the next incident or wait till he can show a pattern of drug use?

4. Given fathers past record of assult and drug use, would it be better for grandparents to file for custody?




Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

Soc,

My 21 yr old D has an RO against her former BF.  He is currently in state custody and I know he will not violate the RO until his release. He is scheduled for release in May. At that point he will be on parole/probation for an additional 10 yrs with the stipulation he cannot contact my D or my family. The RO will terminate in December

She would like to have the RO continued for an additional 18 months. She would also like to add my 8 mth old grand-daughter to the RO. The former BF believes he is the father of the baby. His name is not on the BC and she does not have his last name.

If she applies to have to RO continued another 18 months will there be a hearing where this man will be present and possibly contest continuing the RO?

Given the stipulation of his parole/probation would you recommend extending the RO an additional 18 months?

I should tell you, he was given 3 stay away orders and the RO. He wrote a letter every other day and attempted to call at least once a week until the actual trial for agg assult against my D. The only reason he is in state custody is because he continued to write to us after the trial judge issued her stay away order.


The Witch
Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

Soc,

I am having a problem with a co-worker. She has been bad-mouthing me for quite some time. I have been blowing her crap off as much as possible.

However, recently I was given a chance at a supervisory position. This position does not pay any more but would be a stepping stone to a better position. Due to this co-workers lying I was removed from the position. (BTW this co-worker is best friends with the assistant manager)

I addressed my concerns with my manager and was assured it would be taken care of asap. Unfortunately my manager became ill and is out of work for the next 6-8 wks. The assistant manager is now acting manager. She has given the position I was training for to her "best-friend"

1.) Do I have a case for a defimation suit since I lost the position due to the co-workers lying even though the position did not increase my pay?

2.) If I do have a cause of action suit, would it be just against the co-worker or would th company be involved also?

Thanks for your thoughts

The Witch

Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

Soc,

My 20 yr old daughter had a baby 12/17. She still lives with me and at this point I am the sole support for both daughter and grandchild.

I usually get to file for EIC as my income is under 10,000 per yr.

1. Can my new grandchild be used as a deduction under EIC even though she was born the end of december?

2. Can I allow my daughters dad to take her as a deduction on his taxes?

Thanks
The Witch

Soc,

Daughters young friend just turned 19. He is with his gf and they have a baby. When he tried to get an apt for them he was rejected due to un-paid bills on his credit report. The bills date back to when he was a minor.

He knows his mother is the one that opened the accounts and used his info for credit cards and utilities and then didn't pay.

Other than a noterized letter to the credit reporting agencies along with a copy of his BC, is there anything else he can do to get all the write-offs off his credit report?

BTW he doesn't want his mother in trouble, mostly because it will affect his siblings still living with her. He moved in with his dad when he was about 13. (siblings are not dad's kids)

Thanks

The Witch

 Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!!

Soc,

Facts are: My daughter is pregnant, due in Dec.

Baby's bio-father is currently in jail primarly for DV against my daughter.
He is being chardged with:
1. Agg assult against D
2. Agg assult against an unborn (he threatened to kill the baby)
3. Terroristic threat
4 Simple assult
5. Unlawful Restraint (he physically held her in his room and wouldn't allow her to leave)
6. False imprisonment ( he also locked all the doors to prevent her from leaving)
7. Harrassment
8. Over 22 counts of contempt of a RO

He was on parole when the DV incident took place and has to do all his back time.

Also He was wanted in a neighboring county for Agg Assult, Terroristic threats, and a variety of other charges.

If convicted of all charges in 2 different counties, we assume he will be upstate for the forseeable future.

My Daughters best friend has stated he would be agreeable to assume the role of Dad. Be it by adoption or signing the BC and cirtifcate of paternity.

Question ...

1. If this friend should sign cirt of paternity can the bio father petition the court to assume paternity and if so is it feasible a court would entertain sch a motion?

2. Would it be better to establish parernity and petition for step-parent adoption all at the same time?


The Witch
 
Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

Hey Soc,

My daughter is pregnant. The baby's father assulted her several weeks ago.  They were never married. We are waiting for him to be picked up on a variety of felony charges. He was/is also on parole and has at least 2 yrs back time to serve. We are in PA, Phila county.

A friend told her she Must file for custody or he will be able to take the baby and disappear when he gets released.

The same friend told her she will not be able to get CS if he is in jail and advised her to not bother trying.

The father already has a 2 yr old he neither sees or supports.


question
 
1) does she have to file for custody as they were never married?

2) Will she be able to file for CS even though he will be in jail by the time the baby is born?


Thanks.
Hag

Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

hey guys,

At my wits end with the boychild and school, already. Every day is a struggle.

First problem is getting up. 13 yrs old and in 8th grade and I still have to fight every morning to get him up. (big problem for me is working till 1am and taking Dh to work at 3:30 puts me in "bed" about 5am. Boychild has to get up at 7:30)
I have tried the alarm in his room, being nice and gentle, screaming, and cold water squirted in the face. If we make it out the door at 8:30 (school actually starts 8:25) we're having a good day.

Next problem, he is either playing around or flat out refusing to cooperate with teachers and doing class work. They have called and are telling me he is being disruptive and "I" need to fix it. (well damn, I'm not there and not sure what they want me to do from home) They told me he is also not handing in homework DUH!! if he isn't doing classwork they think he is really writing his assignments down to do at home.

I have spoken with 3 of the 4 and none had checked his file to see if there was and IEP or 504 plan. (there is) I have asked for a meeting to discuss revisions in the 504 plan and will call again to get this set up.

Then he comes home and is told DAILY to get changed, do dishes and do homework. Getting changed takes at least an hour. Doing dishes (his ONLY chore) can last up tp 4 hours. (really he can stretch this to 4 hrs) then he claims to be s t a r v i n g  and must eat. well it's now 6:30 and he still hasn't cracked a book. I am getting ready for work at this point and DH is getting ready for bed.

We tried homework first and he finds a way to stretch that out all night to the point only half is completed and no dishes were done.

So, screaming doesn't work. Grounding doesn't work. No computer/no tv doesn't work, all night in his room doesn't work, and getting his ass smacked doesn't work. We also tried the "incentives" route and it worked for about a week. Tried prasing every thing he did, and that didn't work. Have had DH sit with him till homework was done, still took hours. (not because he didn't understand the work, he just doesn't want to do it)


Oh yeah, and my D is 7mths pg and we have a whole other issue with her.

Any one have ANY ideas cause I am about to run away and leave no forwarding address

The Witch
Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

hey guys,

My computer once again screwed up. I lost my web site links. So does anyone know the step-mom site or the new mafia site link?

You can post or email to me directly at [email protected]

Thanks,

The Witch

Hey guys,

I need some help with an unusual problem.

Briefly, my D was in an abusive relationship and thankfully got away and prosucated the jerk for assult. The jerk was in jail for 2 yrs. She has an RO and a seperate stay away order from the criminal court.

The jerk was released over memorial day weekend.  Last week someone called my home COLLECT from a local number.  D did not accept the charge. However, I cannot find any info about the number using the reverse lookup. Apparently the number is unlisted.

 I can't afford to subscribe to any of the many internet sites that say they will provide this info for a price, so that wouldn't be an option.

Anyone have any suggestions??

Thanks,

The Witch

hey guys,

My daughter just heard a friend had died some months ago. They had lost touch and we are not sure if the information she has is correct.

Anyone know where I can search to find a death notice. PLease remember I don't have credit cards anymore so it would have to ba a free site.

Freind is Arthur "Ottie" Graph and he would be about 19 yrs old


Thanks so much

The Witch

Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

Hey All,

I know I've been MIA for a while. working till the wee hours of the morning is a killer.

I am having a problem with my daughter. As some of you know she is 19 already. She has met this "Wonderful, perfect, love of her life guy"

 We hate him.

 He, within a month persuaded her to have sex. Will not let her go anywhere with her sister, (formally known as the brat, but a great kid now) or any of her girl friends.  He explodes if she talkes to any of her male friends. Has hit her at least once. Does drugs as a way to punish her for making him mad. And is insisting she "sleep over" even though I have forbidden her to stay.  Has a criminal record but refuses to disclose why he went to jail. (anyone know where I can find his record preferably for free... TM maybe) He is working as a cook in a bar and they think they will be able to get a place and live together. Presently he is living across the street with his friend.

I am so afraid I will loose my daughter to this punk.

Please pray she finds a clue and gets away from him!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks,

Hag

Sly,

I am glad sd is finally coming around. I too miss SAM and the old regulars. I have been out of touch for a while. A new job interferred with my time here.

Things are ok here. Well, as ok as ever.  My grand daughter just turned a year old and is the light of my life. Her mother has become a huge PITA. But she is still young and still learning. We are having big problems with the baby's bio-father. He has recently filed for visitation and that will never be alowed. Since he is still in state custody for the beating he gave my D and there is a 10 yr stay away order. I doubt any judge will force my D to travel 3 hrs each way for the baby to see the father for 1 supervised hour. We are looking at termination and adoption. My FSIL has already signed the acknowlegment of paternity and is listed as father on the BC.

The brat is always around. Boy do I remember a time when she was the biggest brat and I didn't want to deal with her or her mother ever again. We still deal with crap at times but since she is 21 now, she gets to make the choice about who she wants to see herself. (Can you believe I have two 21 yr old kids??) She was here for christmas, (slept over christmas eve too) It was the fist time she woke up here ever! I was so glad she decided to be with us.

My son is getting on my last nerve. He still hates school and continues to fight me about going every day. Homework gets done when he remembers to write down what he has to complete. Since he hates school, homework is not usually a priority with him. But other than that he is doing good.  He is almost 15 now and I cannot believe how tall he has gotten since we took him off the stimulant meds.

Dh and I are pretty much living seperate lives. He continues to drink daily. I have distanced myself from his problems. I don't know if I will allow him to stay here much longer. He is not a nice drunk anymore. He's not physically abusive, but he can be a mean sarcastic jerk. I am kinda waiting for a better job to come through before I make such a big decision. Since we work different shifts, we don't see each other much and that helps.


I will e-mail you some pics of the baby. Hope this year is a wonderful year for you

The Witch
 
Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

Guys,

Need some info about a court ruling on grandparent visitation. Here is the situation;

My 23 yr old foster daughter has 2 children ages b-3, & g-1. Her husband was killed in a freak accident 1 month after she found out she was pregnant with g-1. While he was alive they had very limited contact with his family. It should be noted his family has a long history of mental illness and drug abuse. All the main players in the fathers family have been in and out of rehab several times in the last year.

My foster daughter has been verbally and emotionally abused by her husbands family since his death. FD had asked them on several occasions to babysit while she is working and after agreeing will bail, leaving her stuck for a sitter at the last minute. Now she doesn't bother asking.

These people have done nothing with or for these babies. No acknowlegement for christmas or their birthdays. No calls, cards, gifts etc. They expect FD who is working 2 jobs to support her children, to make all the arrangements and do all the driving for them to see these kids. And when she does have the time, they will be unavailable.

Why these people are petitioning the court for visitation is a mystery, but  they are. FD is not in a financial position to get an attorney. I will help as much as I can, but we have no money either.

She has been documenting everything since before her husband died including conversations and voice mail messages. (his mother likes to call while trashed and leave messages about how hard her life is now that her son is dead, and his only legacy is being kept from her)

So I need any info on grandparents rights.

Thanks,

The Witch





Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

This is a game of cat and mouse.. to win, you must become the DOG!

Guys,


Something interesting happened yesterday. BM was out with SD and her BF (and his family). The BF's ex showed up with their daughter and the ex would not allow the child to walk over and talk to her daddy. Ex continued to distract the child and steer her torwards other family memebers, keeping her occupied.

BM noticed and voiced her "opinion" on how horrible the BF's ex was being and how her actions were rude and inconsiderate. How BF deserved to be able to speak with his child and got increasingly loud with her rantings.

Finally SD turned to mommy dearest and asked why BM was so upset, after all it is exactly the same thing she (BM) did to SD and DH for years. Shut her right up.

Don't you just love it... lol

(btw we were asked to attend but since mommy dearest decided she was coming and knowing how things would be, (BM monoplising SD so we wouldn't be able to have a conversation) SD asked if we minded staying home)

THe Witch

Guys,

Would it be possible to create a debate forum?

It seems lately all I am seeing is really long threads that have little to nothing to do with the issue the origional poster presented.

The issues are being lost, and it really isn't fair to newer members to have their concerns  hijacked by a debate.



The Witch




Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

This is a game of cat and mouse.. to win, you must become the DOG!

Guys,

Most of us on this site believe the system to be broken and/or in need of reform.

SO what kind of REASONABLE changes would youn like to see made in the current system....

This would be in the areas of custody and support but remember those areas are different and should be seperate.

For me, one of the basic changes I would like to see is consistancy. I don't understand why every state has a different code and often times each county in the state has seperate rules for family law.

I think if all states operated under the same basic rules a lot of difficulties would be aliveated.

If every state used the same requirements for figuring support there would be no need for some to move around to get "a better deal".

If support was figured with a Fair percentage fo the combined income of both parties with a Small credit for additional children it might be easier for NCPs to pay and CP to get paid. However I do believe if either party remarries and subsequently becomes unemployed and the new spouse is supporting the "new" family that persons income should be used in the support calculations. ( I am not sure how time sharing would factor into the this but I'm sure there would be suggestions.)

As for parenting time, a fair and equal division of time should be the default. Unless it can be proven one parent is a detriment to the child(ren). Parents who choose to move for anything other than a substancially financial improvements would not be permitted to take the children.

Both parents should be required as part of the divorce process to complete a indepth parenting class aimed at supporting the children through the transition. And the children should be involved in therapy to deal with the emotional issues they may be having.

Any parent engaging in hostile or alienating behavior would loose parenting time and would be required to retake the parenting class.

Judges would be required to look at each case seperately and make adjustments to the parenting plan based on the needs of the CHILDREN

Lets see what You think needs to be changed in the current system....

The Witch




Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

This is a game of cat and mouse.. to win, you must become the DOG!

guys,

my daughters bil is having a problem with his ex. this particular problem concerns school. the child is in kindergarten and because the new gf got the boy in a charter school, momy dearest wanted him in a catholic school where dad will have to pay tuition.

Last week was the 1st week of school and dad was away on business. He made arrangements with his famiy to take care of the boy and get him to school.

The mother decided since dad wasn't home she would not return the boy to dad's home. Also she decided he didn't need school. (or she didn't feel like getting up) So the child did not go to school the entire week. (also this was the 1st time in 2 months she had the boy for more than a couple hours. he has been at dad's most of the summer)

I should note last yr while in preschool the boy was either absent or very late on moms days. Also mom failed to pick up the child from the after school program most of her days often calling the dad right before they closed telling him to pick the boy up, which incurred a huge late fee.

The mother had her friend friend drop the child off friday afternoon, the family wasn't home and there was a sitter at dad's house taking care of my grand children. BTW this is her weekend, but she had plans.

The parenting schedule is tues night, wed, thurs till dinner, & eow to dad. So he can reasonably expect mom will not take the child to school during her parenting time. Or he will be late by several hours.

Does anyone think he should be able to get an exparte custody order for primary and weekends to mom, to ensure the child gets to school everyday or is kindergarten not a big deal

The Witch

Guys,

Thought I would give you all an update on the things going on here.

My darling beautiful D will be presenting me with another grandbaby in December. This is her 2nd child and I am thrilled. Y'all may remember a couple yrs ago I was not a very happy camper. D was involved in an abusive relationship that ended when the bio-father beat the crap out of my D.  He went to jail, was ordered by 2 different judges (family and criminal) to stay away from our entire family.

D began a relationship with her best friend who decided he would assume the role as daddy to my grandbaby. He signed the BC, and gave my baby his name. He is just the greatest!!

SO that's my good news!

Now on to my KARMA news.

The brat, who is now affectionally known as my "other" daughter is going through a bad spell. Her stepdad has terminal cancer. They still have a good relationship and see each other often. (with our blessing). She recently informed us that her mother and stepdad are not yet divorced. This was suprising since I believe her mother instigated the divorce. However, mommy dearest has stalled the proceedings because her husband, who she hasn't lived with for 5 yrs has cancer.
My other daughter is furious. She told me in no uncertain terms she will do anything she can so her mother doesn't get a dime of her stepfather money. She went on to call her mother a money grubbing, nasty, cold hearted bitch.

I really feel bad for this kid.  I always knew she would "grow a brain". But I never wanted her to get to a point in her life where she hated her mother.  I can't say her mother doesn't deserve this, she does. For her, it was always about the money.

On a positive side. My other daughter graduated collage with a degree in psyhotherapy (sp) and is looking to go back to school to get a law degree.  DH and her step-father are supporting her financially in this endeavor as much as they can. Hopefully in a few years I will be able to tell y'all we have a lawyer in the family with a minor degree in counselling. We shall see I guess.


Other than that it's just the same crap as always

The Witch

Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

Guys,

I reregistered my name for the chat room. I never did get a conformation email. When I tried to register again thinking I had made a mistake I got a message that my email addy is already registered. I have two addys I can use and neither seem to work. Am I doing something wrong?

Hagatha

Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!