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Topics - Troubledmom

Pages: 12
California State Forum / Moving out of State
« on: May 02, 2005, 01:24:30 AM »
I already have read many caselaws from Burgess, Condor, Burchard and more. I am looking for something that addresses the de facto termination of rights because a move would take the children to a place where visitation would not reasonable be able to occur.

Any help is greatly appreciated.


Moms Without Custody / Hearing in a week
« on: May 29, 2005, 09:39:31 PM »
Our next hearing is in a week. There still has not been a specific evaluator assigned. This is becoming more and more frustrating.

I am trying to remember to be balanced through all this and keep my tattered emotions in check in order to provide the best outcome... somedays it is sooooo hard.

Both children will be repeating their respective grades :-( best interest of the child to be left in a situation where their educational needs are not being met?

Hopefully we will have something positive to report next week.


Moms Without Custody / Custody Evaluator
« on: Apr 12, 2005, 06:18:51 PM »
It appears that a custody evaluator will be assigned later this month. I was requested to provide a list of what lead to the custosy dispute, why I think my custody proposal is in the best interest of the children, and other "issues" that have not been addressed that I feel should be.

I have the reason for my proposal being in the best interest of the children:

The parents have been parenting seperatly for 9 years. During that 9 years there have been 5 seperate parenting plans. Historically the parenting plans that provided the most amount of stability to the children, as shown in their (1) academic acheivements, (2) extracarricular activity involvement, (3) lack of behavioral issues has been the 3 parenting plans that provide equal or close to equal parenting time for both parents. Despite the failings of each parent in areas of parenting those appear counter balanced by the strengths of the other parent, providing the children with a well rounded experience.

The issues that lead to the dispute are easy. The only thing left is providing "other issues".

Does anyone have any ideas what they are looking for?


Moms Without Custody / advice, suggestions, etc???
« on: Mar 16, 2005, 02:20:39 PM »
I have had a shared parenting agreement with my ex since 1996. Last year he obtained primary placement status (in Oct. 2003). Until the change I had the children every day from 7:30 am until 7:30 pm in addition to eow. Since the change I have just 3 days a week with the children.

The children are 13 and 9 years old. From Kindergarten to the end of the 2003 school our 13 yo was an honor roll student. Never bringing less than a B home on any report card. The 9 yo has struggled a bit more but still managed C's or better in all subjects.

At the end of last year both kids grades had dropped dramatically. The 13 yo (then 12) was carrying a 2.75 GPA. The 9 yo passed on to the next grade with mostly D's and 2 C's.

I just went to parent teacher confrences this week for both kids. The 13 yo has a 1.75 GPA this time around. The 9 yo did NOT pass a single subject, not even PE. 9 yo's teacher was able to verify the ONLY time the child has homework completed and turned on time is the day after her visitation with me.

All teachers involved are saying the children are not applying themselves, not giving the effort they should, and not completing homework.

A custody hearing is coming up in April. I know that this is important information that needs to be relayed to the Judge. I also know, because of information my Ex shared with someone else, he intends to state that the after school time I have with the children is interfering with the children's ability to complete their homework (It's my fault?).


I do not want to spend the entire 4 hours 2 days a week after school I have with the kids doing homework. I do spend at least 1 hour with them. I have a note from 9 yo's teacher stating homework has routinly been turned in on days after visitation but 13 yo's teachers refused to put anything in writing about when the child turns in homework.


So any ideas? Any suggestions? Any advise? Frustration today is interfering with my ability to think clearly. HELP PLEASE!


Shrink Rap / Looking for information on social/emotional signs
« on: May 17, 2005, 11:04:46 PM »
in children of mild to moderate parental alientation and/or emotional abuse. Specifically a listing of symptoms that might be present in these situations.

Thank-You in advance


Dear Socrateaser / De Facto Termination of Visitation Rights
« on: May 02, 2005, 01:21:24 AM »
State: California

California's move away law is highly favorable to the custodial parent when there is not substantial time share. The situation is  the non custodial parent has a significantly lower income than the custodial parent (the cp pays the ncp child support) but the NCP cannot meet the substantially equal time share factor as directed in Burgess.

In a situation where the income of one parent would prevent visitation from occuring would it be likely that the court would consider De Facto termination of visitation as a factor in preventing the child's residence from being changed from the state?


Dear Socrateaser / Ex Refusing to give name of treating therapist
« on: Mar 23, 2005, 11:58:21 PM »
State: California
Joint Legal Custody

There are current custody orders in place where in it states:
"The father is obtain mental health treatment for the minor children. Mother is to participate in the counseling sessions with the children."

These were made orders in 2003. The children briefly saw a therapist in early 2004. When I made contact with the therapist and showed her the court orders he pulled the children from that therapist. The reason he gave the therapist was he couldn't afford the co-pays. The children said it was because she was going to make him follow the court oders.

About 3 weeks ago, I was told by the children that they were seeing a new therapist.

I have made 5 seperate email requests and a certified letter request for the name address and telephone number of the treating therapist. He has ignored 4 of the 5 requests.

I recieved an email tonight after the 5th request that states "I will provide the information when it is appropriate."

Now for my questions:

1. In sharing joint legal custody is it his responsibility to provide that information, especially after a request for it?

2. Since the court orders state that I am to be involved, would this constitute contempt?

3. Is there any plausible excuse he could give the court for failing to provide the information that would stand?

Your help is greatly appreciated


Dear Socrateaser / Significant Change in Circumstances
« on: Feb 21, 2005, 05:10:24 AM »
State: California

Basic Facts:
A custody order was made in accordance with Welfare and Instution Code Section 362.4. This order has never been filed in the family law case although both parents and the local law enforcement office have copies.

The Juvenial Court Orders grant joint legal custody with sole legal custody to the one parent. The visitation periods are 3 days per week for short periods of time.

The orders fail to specify the circumstances under which the consent of both parents is required to be obtained in order to exercise legal control of the children and the consequences of the failure to obtain mutual consent.

The orders further contain wording regarding termination of a visit by the children. Specifically the order states: The children are permitted to terminate any visitation period when they have reasonable fear of neglect.

We are trying to find if enough information is present to qualify as a significant change in circumstances as stated in W&I Code 302.(d) to
be brought under Family Code 3021 for a modification.

The custodial parent has verbally stated an intention to move out of the area.

The custodial parent has scheduled medical appointments for Child A out of the area on visitation days. When Non custodial parent complains' custodial parent says the child fears for health if the visit were to take place and therefore is declining the visit that day (it is in writing via email on a public server)

The custodial parent has on 5 occassions in 9 months denied NCP visitation times because CP has scheduled vacation times during visitation times. (Non Custodial Parent is aware that because there is only 3 days between any visit it complicates vacation for Custodial Parent)

Child B is being left without adult supervision for periods as short as 2 hours and up to 12 hours on at least one documented occasion. The child has been diagnosed by a clinical psychologist and a forensic psychologist with Oppositional Defiant Disorder and fails to meet California's maturity test to be left alone (documented by child's clinician)

This child, while without adult supervison physically assulted a sibling. The physical assult required medical treatment.

The NCP is aware of a minimum of 5 police or cps reports regarding the child being left alone over the last few months. Two reports were made by a neighbor of the CP who contacted NCP before the police. One complaint was made by another child (not in this case) of the CP. One complaint was made by local store, who called NCP to come get the unsupervised child. The other complaint was made by an unknown party.

Child B has also been the victim of sexual assult, perpetrated by an unknown assailaint. The child has refused to say who the assailaint may be. CPS determined that neither parent was a risk to have been the assailaint and terminated investigation.

NCP is not looking at changing the actual custody status. NCP is more concerned with ensuring that the visitations are enforcable, that Child B is not left unsupervised, and if possible some additional time with the children without losing the frequency of visits.


1. Is this sufficent criteria to meet a significant change in circumstances?

2. If yes, would the NCP be able to reasonably request that the right of first refusal be inacted so as to ensure that Child B is not unsupervised?

3. If yes, what would be more appropriate wording for the children's right to terminate a visit if they fear neglect? NCP acknowledges that the children should have this right given the past situation that brought about the current orders but wants to also have safegaurds to prevent occurances as stated above with CP scheduling things during visitation.

Thank You for your time and consideration of this.


Dear Socrateaser / California Medical Expense Question
« on: May 17, 2004, 03:24:31 PM »
Does California have a default responsibility for medical care costs if the matter is not addressed in any court orders?


Dear Socrateaser / When Does Visitation Begin?
« on: Dec 11, 2003, 01:43:35 PM »
       A friend has a divorce decree in which it states "Father's Visitation period shall begin the first day of school holiday".
       This year school lets out on the 19th. School Calander states that the School Holiday begins on the 22nd.
Mother is saying that Father is to pick up the children on the 21st.
       One might note that this is the Mother's regular weekend if it weren't for the holiday.

1. Which date , December 20th, 21st, or 22nd would be your opinion  
    visitation begin?

Pages: 12
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