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#1
Dear Socrateaser / Amending Child Support
Mar 05, 2007, 02:33:56 PM
I am the NCP. The beginning of January, my ex got CS modified. IT got raised by $100 a month. The judge said that the CS would be modified depending on visitation. However, my ex has not allowed me to see my daughter for many months so the judge said that since I wasn't exercising my visitation, she wouldn't lower the CS accordingly.

I am taking my ex to court for contempt and we have a court date in a couple weeks. We are asking for a parenting plan recommendation from a court appointed mediator/counselor.

1. If I get my visitation re-enforced, how long before I can petition to have child support modified?

2. Would I need to show proof of how often I have my daughter with me?
#2
Dear Socrateaser / ex parte hearing
Feb 07, 2007, 10:13:48 AM
I am meeting with my lawyer tomorrow to schedule a contempt case against my ex. My ex is not allowing any of my court ordered visitation. I haven't had visitation since April. I saw my daughter once in November when I saw her at the mall. My daughter ran right to me and didn't let go of me the whole time my ex and I talked which was about 45 minutes.

I went to pick up my daughter last week but my ex once again stopped me. My daughter was inside asking to come out and see me. So it's obvious that she knows me and wants to see me. (she's almost 7 years old)

There was a contempt hearing scheduled in November that my ex never showed up to because she was not properly served (my ex lawyers fault). Now that I've moved within 10 miles from my daughter, I have a new lawyer and we're going to set up a new contempt hearing. (i use to live over 300 miles away from her) It will be a couple weeks, at least, before we can get a court date. I don't want this to drag on any longer than need be.

1. Would it be a good idea to ask for a ex parte hearing? Or would it not make a difference since it has been 9 months since I've had visitation?

2. Until the hearing, is there any steps I should be taking or do I just wait for the court date?
#3
Dear Socrateaser / This doesn't seem right
Feb 05, 2007, 09:12:12 AM
In the beginning of November 2006, my ex threatened me into signing a stipulation. After I signed it, it was sent to the judge for him to sign. However, my lawyer objected to it being signed and told the judge this. The judge wrote my ex a letter saying that my lawyer objected to it being signed so he (the judge) was not going to sign the stip at that time.

Around the second week of January 2007, I contacted the clerk of courts office and found out that the stipulation had been signed by the judge, the last week of December. I contacted my lawyer who had no knowledge of it being signed. I recieved a copy of the signed stipulation in the middle of January but it was sent to me by my ex. This all seems a little fishy to me. (BTW, this judge is now retired.)

My ex seems to have known all along, the exact date the judge signed this.

1. Since the judge notified all parties that he wasn't going to sign the stipulation, shouldn't someone have been notified that he changed his mind for some reason?

2. Is there any way my ex could have forged the judge's signature and had it entered into the court files? (I ask because my ex has been convicted of fraud and forgery in the past)                                                                                                                                    
#4
Dear Socrateaser / Does stipulation override CO?
Feb 01, 2007, 01:39:13 PM
This is what my court order says:(it was entered into court files in July 2005)

****IT IS STIPULATED that the defendant (me) shall have visitation rights with *daughter* pursuant to the South Dakota visitation guidelines, said visitation to be every other weekend from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. on Saturday and 8:00 a.m. to
5:00 p.m. the following Sunday. No overnight visits shall be allowed. Defendant shall be responsible for transportation for the weekend visitations.

IT IS FURTHER STIPULATED that the defendant and plaintiff shall continue to share joint legal custody of *daughter.*

IT IS FURTHER STIPULATED that the defendant shall be allowed reasonable phone access to the minor child of the parties, and the parties are to keep each other advised as to the location of the minor child.

IT IS FURTHER STIPULATED that this stipulation shall remain in effect until further order of the court.*****

------The last week of December 2006, a stipulation was entered into the court files. This is what it says:

*****Defendent agrees to take *daughter* to therapy sessions once a week for 4 weeks with *therapist.*

DEFENDANT will pick up *daughter* from Plantiff house and take to therapy sessions.

DEFENDANT and Plaintiff will reevalute the custody order at the end of the 4 weeks.
*******

I was under the impression that this all meant I would take my daughter to therapy AND I was still entitled to my EOW visitation.

1. Does this stipulation override the previous court order concerning my EOW visits?

2. If it does override it, do I no longer have joint custody as well?
#5
When my daughter was born, my ex and I were not married. We gave my daughter my last name. It has been that way for 6 years. A couple weeks ago I had a CS hearing. I received the papers from that hearing yesterday. On the papers, my daughters name now has my ex's last name.

My ex and I have joint legal custody and my ex has physical custody.

1. Can my ex change my daughter's last name without my knowledge?

2. How can I find out if and when this was done?
#6
This is all in South Dakota and THANk YOU in advance!

I was thinking about taking my ex to court for contempt without a lawyer. I just got my child support raised by $110 and really can't afford to hire a lawyer at this time. There is a custody order in place that has not been followed since April 2006.

It is court ordered that I am can see my daughter every other weekend and everything else is according to the state visitation guidelines. I have never received a holiday or a summer or any vacations with her

At the time the order was put into place, I lived 300 miles away and couldn't afford to make the trip to see my daughter every other week so my ex let me see my daughter the times I could come to see her.

Then, in April, my ex cut off all visitation. I still lived 300 miles away. I tried a few times to set up visitation and called several times. She wouldn't allow anything.

I moved within 10 miles of my daughter in August 2006. We had a contempt hearing in November but my ex never showed because she was never officially served with the papers. The venue had not been changed so the hearing was in my old town 300 miles away. Another date was set but then it got postponed. I cannot afford to pay my lawyer and I am going to have a change of venue made as soon as possible.

1. What, exactly, happens in a contempt hearing?

2. Would it be hard for me to succeed without a lawyer, for this first contempt hearing, in your opinion?

#7
Dear Socrateaser / Not allowing visitation
Nov 22, 2006, 07:14:02 AM
I have a 6 year old daughter. The mother has not allowed me visitation since April. Last weekend, I ran into BM and my daughter at the mall. I got to hold my daughter and talk to her a little. THe whole time I was holding my daughter, BM was badmouthing me. SAying how bad of a father I was, etc...

About 2 weeks ago, I had a contempt hearing set but BM never showed up because she was never officially served any papers. But BM DID know about the hearing. Anyway, the hearing was continued until the first week of December. She has been served papers for this hearing.

Even after knowing that I'm taking her to court for contempt, she still denies me any visitation. In fact she told me, when I saw her at the mall, that me taking her to court is just prolonging the time until I see my daughter again. I talked to my ex yesterda and asked to talk to my daughter but again she denied me that right as well.

I sent my ex a Letter of Intent to Exercise my Visitation. (I sent a copy to the clerk of courts) BM is supposed to notify me by Monday if I get to see my daughter or not. I'm pretty sure she will not show up on the dates I have given since she says I don't get any visitation anymore.

1. In court, can I bring up the fact that she was badmouthing me in front of my daughter? Or will this just be "he said, she said" and I shouldn't even waste my breath saying anything?

2. In your opinion, does BM look worse because even after finding out I was holding her in contempt, she STILL denies visitation?
#8
Dear Socrateaser / couple of questions
Nov 16, 2006, 10:42:59 AM
Hi Soc! THank you for all the help you have given me! I have a couple more questions:

I have recently moved 300 miles from my previous residence. We have not had a change of venue YET. We are going to after our next hearing which is the first week of December. This hearing will be in my old residence and the hearing in DEcember will take place there as well. My atty is located in my last place of residence and my ex has said she has new representation in her new residence. (same town as I now live in)

We had a contempt hearing about a week ago and my ex didn't show up. (found out she was never served with the papers but she DID know about the hearing) My ex's atty, told mine that my ex had told him that she had representation in her new residence so he would not be representing her in our contempt hearing.

My atty. was contacted by another lawyer in town who said my ex had contaced him about the case but he was not going to represent her either. A 3rd attorney said the same thing. So when we went to court, my ex was not there and 3 lawyers saying they would NOT represent her, were there. It was obvious that my ex DID know about the hearing. (her last lawyer said he notified her of the hearing)

Her, supposed, new lawyer never contacted my lawyer concerning our hearing.

1. Why didn't she get in trouble for not attending the last hearing? Was it just because she wasn't served any papers?

2. Since she says she has a new attorney at her new residence, shouldn't this atty, have notified my atty?
#9
Dear Socrateaser / Evidentiary hearing
Nov 01, 2006, 07:25:45 AM
This case is in South Dakota.

My ex has been denying my court ordered visitation with my daughter for quite sometime now. I have been working with my atty to get a court date to try to show she is in contempt. I found out yesterday that we have an evidentiary hearing set for November 8th.

1. WHat can I expect/what could happen at this hearing?

2. I know my ex will try to get this hearing pushed back if possible. Is there a way she can get the hearing postponed?

Thank you again for your help!
#10
Dear Socrateaser / psych eval
Oct 16, 2006, 07:54:30 AM
Hi Soc! Hope your day is going good!

I have joint- custody of my 6 year old daughter. 2 1/2 years ago my ex went to federal prison for 15 months. A psych evaluation was done on my ex and the results were brought out in her hearing. I now have the court records of everything that was said that day in court about what her Psych Evaluation said about her. When my ex and I go to court over custody:

1. Can I try to use these documents against her?

2. Will they be much use since it was 2 1/2 years ago when the evaluation was done?

Thank you!
#11
Dear Socrateaser / change of venue
Oct 10, 2006, 08:50:45 AM
I recently moved across the state. (I live in SD) I have a court order that was put in place in my the last county I lived in. My daughter and my ex live in the town I now reside in. I would like to take my ex to court over custody issues.

1. How do I go about getting everything moved to my current residence so I can take my ex to court here instead of going to my old city that is 6 hours away?

2. What is proper etiquette when looking for a new lawyer? (ex: Can I email one asking about their rates or should I call them? DO I tell them a little about my sitiuation?etc.)
#12
Dear Socrateaser / ex-parte motion
Oct 04, 2006, 07:25:29 AM
Everyone seems to be talking about an ex-parte emergency motion to enforce visitation. I am unfamiliar with this.

1. What exactly is an ex-parte motion and how does it work?
#13
I live in South Dakota and this is where my child also lives.

i have a 6 year old daughter. Her mother has primary physical custody of her and we have joint custody.

4 years ago, the mother prevented me from seeing my daughter so much that I sort of gave up. I had no money to fight the mother. So therefore I went 2 years without seeing my daughter until the mother went to prison for fraud. I was in jail for a DUI when the mother went to prison so I didn't even know where my daughter was until after the fact. My daughter had gone to live with her grandmother.

I contacted the grandmother and started phone visitation with my daughter who was then 4. I went to court and the judge ordered that I have 3 visits with my daughter within 3 month period pending a full custody hearing (the mother was still in prison.) I onyl got to have one visit with my daughter because the grandmother would not allow me any more than that.

When the mother got out of prison, we agreed and a court order was made, that she would retain custody of our daughter pending the next custody hearing and I would get to see my daugher every other weekend for 9 hours each day since the mother moved to a town only 20 miles from me. I thought this would give me a chance to establish a relationship with my daughter but the mother moved a month later, never allowing me a single weekend visitation.

She didn't contact me as to her whereabouts until 4 months later. I got to see my daughter 3 times between christmas and April. THe mother always limited my visitation and i have yet to receive the full weekend visitation.Since April, the mother won't answer the phone and every time I request visits, she deny's them.

I live within 10 miles of my daughter now and have been for the past 2 months. the mother knows this but still denies me any phone access or visits with my daughter. I call every week to try to talk to my daughter and want my weekend visits. THe mother told me last week that I can't call her anymore and called me some names.

SHe now accuses me of child abuse because on my last visitation, my daughter and I were playing and I lightly and playfully tapped her on the butt. My fiance' and her parents were witness to this and know I did nothing wrong.

We are keeping all phone records and have been keeping a journal of everything that happens during my visits and phone conversations. I was never alone during all the exchanges and always had someone with me during the visits.

We have a lawyer and are awaiting a court date.

1. Is there anything else my fiance' and I should be doing?

2.IS there anything we're missing?
 
3. what are my chances of getting custody or at least more visitation and ensuring that I get my court ordered visitation?

4.Is there anything that could help us.

5.what can hurt us?

6. Would being married help much?
#14
General Issues / need help with letter of intent
Nov 16, 2006, 08:20:24 AM
I'm using the Letter of Intent to exercise visitation from this site. At the top it says Return Recepit Article. What is this number? Is it on our court order? Also it asks for Clerk of Court, Court #. How do I know the court number? Would this be, for example, 3rd Circuit Court? Or is it talking about a differernt number?
#15
Visitation Issues / Good News! I hope
Nov 01, 2006, 07:06:22 AM
BM has not allowed my DH his court ordered visitation so we finally have a hearing scheduled! It's supposed to be November 8th. It's an evidentiary hearing. What should we expect at this?
#16
Visitation Issues / Therapist's recommendations
Oct 23, 2006, 10:20:24 AM
Awhile back I posted about my fiance's ex not allowing him ANY of his visitation and no phone contact with his daughter since April.

About a month ago my fiance' called his ex so he could try to talk to his daughter (he called every week but no one would ever answer). His ex answered that time and yelled at him saying he was nothing but a sperm donor and she was done dealing with him. She basically told him she would not cooperate in any way and he wasn't going to see his daughter.

 ABout a week after that, my fiance' wrote a letter to his daughter's principle asking for her records, etc. The principle told my fiance that he contacted his ex, and when he told her that my fiance' had sent a letter asking for these things, she got upset and said that she was going to possibly pull his daughter out of school. (she only went there for Music and P.E. THe rest of the time she was home schooled.) The day after his ex found out about the letter to the school, his daughter was not in class.

There had been no contact with his ex since the "sperm donor" conversation.So this last friday, my fiance' gets a call from his ex saying that she wants him to take his daughter to her therapist and the therapist will make a recommendation on how often he should see his daughter. (He currently is supposed to have her every other weekend)

Now of course we know that the therapist doesn't have the final say in this matter. We are still taking his ex to court for contempt and to change the custody agreement. Are there things my fiance' should avoid saying to the therapist? His ex has some motive here...we're just not sure what it is. Anyone else ever run into something like this? She just out of the blue calls him and is being all nice.
#17
Visitation Issues / Letter of intent
Oct 20, 2006, 07:16:59 AM
My fiance' is being denied his visitation so he's going to send a letter of Intent to exercise his visitation rights. What is the appropriate amount of time to give his ex to respond between the day we send the letter until the day he wants to exercise his visitation? For example (since I don't know if I'm making sense) say he sends the letter tomorrow (10/21). When should be the earliest he should request visitation? Should he request next weekend? or 2 weekends from now? or when?
#18
My fiance' has a daughter that he has court ordered visitation with every other weekend and also it states that he is to have reasonable phone access. The mother has continuously made it more and more difficult for my fiance' to see his daughter. Now she has cut off all communication. We even moved across the state to be near his daughter. The mother won't allow him to talk to or see his daughter. He hasn't been able to see or talk to her since April. He calls every week trying to get a chance to talk to her but the mother rarely answers. When she does answer, she tells my fiance' that his daughter doesn't want to talk. (She's 6 years old by the way) Every time my fiance' tries to set up visitation, the mother says she won't discuss it. Just last week, my fiance' called and the mother actually answered. She called him a few names and said that "how dare he call when he hasn't tried since April." He tried to tell her that he has been trying (one phone record shows he's called 18 times in the last 4-5 months.) she said he was lieing and that he hadn't tried at all. She said she was done trying to work with him and hung up. So...we have a lawyer and are preparing for court. We have all the phone records and emails from her that deny visitation and give him new rules to follow (ie. she wants him to go through a visitation center only, can only call once a month) Anyone have any other suggestions of things we might not be thinking about? We only live about 10 miles from his daughter and he can't even see her!
#19
Father's Issues / Contempt pro se (raymi)
Jan 03, 2007, 05:45:22 PM
raymi---Yes I would very much like to hear what you have to say since apparently I have absolutely nothing to go on. What kind of proof can I get if nothing I have will work? This site says to use those Letters of Intent but according to Soc, there's really no reason to use them. And if nothing I have will help me, what point would it be to have a lawyer anyway?

Basically, according to Soc, there's nothing I can do except get her on tape denying my visitation. But she NEVER will answer the phone, so that doesn't work either.
#20
Father's Issues / my own witness
Nov 22, 2006, 07:42:07 PM
Today I signed something that I wish I hadn't. IT's a stipulation that BM's attorney wrote up. THe thing is, I signed as my own witness. Does anyone know if this is legal? Can I use this as an excuse to get out of this agreement?

So...basically I signed where it asks for defendants signature and where it ask for the defendants WITNESS signature. Any thoughts???
#21
Father's Issues / Need help with letter of Intent
Nov 16, 2006, 01:10:38 PM
I'm using the Letter of Intent to exercise visitation from this site. At the top it says Return Recepit Article. What is this number? Is it on our court order? Also it asks for Clerk of Court, Court #. How do I know the court number? Would this be, for example, 3rd Circuit Court? Or is it talking about a differernt number?
#22
BM has SD going to therapy once a week with her and once a week by herself. Now she wants DH to take his daughter to therapy once a week with him. Therefore she would be going to therapy Monday with BM, Wednesday with DH and Thursday by herself every week. Isn't this a little excessive? SD is only 6 years old.
#23
Father's Issues / wish us luck!
Nov 08, 2006, 07:01:37 AM
We're going to court today to try and find BM in contempt. She hasn't allowed DH visitation since April. We're both sooo nervous. BM is representing herself and she's somewhat intimidating. I hope DH can hold up okay.

Will DH have to take the stand? We're not real sure how this all works.

Hopefully this is a first step (probably small step) towards giving SD the relationship with DH and his family that she deserves...
#24
Father's Issues / can you believe this!
Oct 05, 2006, 02:38:51 PM
So...we sent a letter to my fiance's daughters school asking for her records, etc. Today my fiance' calls the school to find out what was going on...were they going to give him access to her school stuff and whatnot. So the guy he talked to says

"Your daughter only comes here for music and P.E. The rest of the time she is homeschooled. I called *mom* to ask her about all this when I got your letter. She got really upset and said that 'Maybe *daughter* won't be going to those classes anymore."

This call happened yesterday(the 4th).

And guess what? His daughter didn't go to school today(the 5th)! His ex is doing everything possible to keep him from getting any info about his daughter. This is rediculous. How is taking his daughter out of school, in the best interest of the child?
#25
Father's Issues / Thank you all
Oct 05, 2006, 12:52:50 PM
Thank all of you so much for your help! We really appreciate it. Sorry I ask so many questions! But thank you all very much and I hope the best for all of you. It's nice to have a place like this to talk to people going through the same things...
#26
We tried writing the school to request my fiance's daughters records, etc. but have heard nothing back. We were thinking we would go into the school in person tomorrow morning and ask about it. He doesn't have her birth certificate so what else should we bring with us to be prepared?
#27
My fiance's daughter is seeing a therapist. Is it legal for him to talk to his daughters therapist about what she's saying to her and what his daughter is saying to the therapist? If so, how can we go about this? The mother has said that the therapist is giving her all these "recommendations" all which work against my fiance's relationship with his daughter. He would like to tell this therapist his side since we know the mother is not being truthful to the therapist. What can he do?