Topics

I have been having problems with my ex-wife (D) denying visitations since late March of this year. My son, who is 13, had asked me about coming to live with me and my wife, and we were in the process of talking to a lawyer about this in March. D caught wind of it, and then tried to claim that since my wife and I argued (I had forgotten her birthday, she was upset) in front of my son, it was a "violent atmosphere", and even went so far as to try and involve CPS in it. When my wife spoke to CPS, she was told that from March to May, they get several "complaints" from custodial parents against NCPs to try and keep them from having summer visitations. Nothing further came of it.

I was allowed to speak to my son in mid May for about 2 minutes, but his mother was on the phone listening and told him that he didn't have to talk to me.

I have called a minimum of twice a week, only to get answering machines, my wife and I have both attempted to pick him up for weekend visits and summer access, only to find "no one home".

In August, my ex and I went before an assistant attorney general for Texas about child support. My ex claimed  I hadn't paid it, I had proof I had. Turns out that when ex was remarried, she didn't file new name and address, so payments were sitting in limbo somewhere. I mentioned to the assistant AG at that time that my ex wasn't allowing me to see or talk to my son, at which time the assistant told my ex that she could be held in contempt of court, and the possible punishments that she could incur. My ex again tried playing the "violent" card, to which it was asked if she had proof. At that time, she got mad, and refused to talk anymore. The assistant gave me a number and website for Texas Access, and I called immediately after leaving her office.

At their advice, my wife typed up the standard "access and visitation" letters, and I began mailing a regular copy, and a certified copy each week I was to have visitation. The first week, my ex called at 3:00 on Friday to tell me my son had previous plans, and we would switch for the next weekend. I agreed, and again sent another letter outlining what we had discussed during the phone call.

My ex refused the first certified letter, and picked up the last 3 or 4 at one time - several days after attempts had been made.

Again, last night, we were to pick up my son, and after waiting over an hour, called the sheriff's office for a welfare check, another piece of advice from a Tx Access lawyer. They did not come near the house during the next hour or more, as we were sitting in front of it. At about 11 p.m., we received a message on our business phone from the dispatcher, and when my wife called back, no one knew anything. This afternoon, the dispatcher again called back, and spoke to me.

This is where it gets infuriating. It seems that no one ever went to the home. Instead, they called the house at regular intervals, and when my ex answered, they told her what was going on, to which she told them my son was fine, they had been to "dinner and a movie". The dispatcher then asked to speak to my son, who when asked, said he was fine. That's it. No visual proof, nothing. I was under the impression that a welfare check was to be done in person????

Anyway, I know I have a case, but what I don't have is a lot of money. Do I need to hire a lawyer? Or is the contempt of court charge(s) something I can file myself? Is each and every denied visit a seperate contempt? My ex seems to think if she just ignores it all, it ( and I ) will go away. It's not going to, and if I have to beg and borrow to get a lawyer, I will. However, if I can get the ball rolling without one, I would like to start there.

Dear Socrateaser,

All parties concerned are in Texas.

I wrote to you in November concerning a Motion for Enforcement of Possession of or Access concerning my son. The link to that is here:

http://deltabravo.net/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=106&topic_id=12383&mode=full&page=4

I took your advice, and now have an attorney handling bringing the motion before a judge. The court date is set for January 10.

However, this morning, I received a summons to appear in court on January 10, this time for a modification of the original decree and parenting plan.

X is now claiming that I am "violent" - there was a fight in March of this year with my new wife, my son saw it. I voluntarily asked to be placed in Anger Management. I completed and passed the class, and since then, my new wife has also taken the course.

The new petition that I received this morning is rather lengthy - 25 plus pages. If needed, I can send it all to you.

To summarize it: X is claiming that due to this fight, my home and I are not a "good" enviroment for my son. X has requested that I only have supervised visits, with them being held in front of Family Protective officers.

I talked to my lawyer, and he says that it is a different case, and as such, he can not advise me at this time on it.

Questions:

1. Doesn't it show that X is being vindictive or retaliating for my motion by waiting until now - 9 months later - to file this?

2. Is it normal course for a lawyer to first claim as a defense against my motion that I voluntarily gave up my rights to possession, then file a modification to have the court deny my rights to possession?

3. Do you have any advice for me? The court dates are the same day, the same time, the same judge, what can I do?

Dear Socrateaser,

This is concerning parties in Texas.

I wrote you a few weeks ago concerning the matter of my ex (X) denying me access and visitation. I have since filed a "Motion for Enforcement of Possession of or Access to Child" with the proper court.

Today I received a letter from X's newest attorney, which included a copy of "Respondent's Original Answer" which was filed with the court on October 30, 2006.

It reads:

"1. General Denial

Respondent enters a general denial

2. Affirmative Defense

Petitioner voluntarily relinquished actual possession and control of the chid.

3. Information about Child

Information required by section 154.181(b) of the Texas Family Code is provided in the statement attached as Exhibit A. (A is a written statement from X saying I do not provide medical insurance, which is incorrect, as I do provide it)

4. Attorney's Fees, Expenses, Costs, and Interest

It was necessary for Respondent to secure the services of Xxxxx X Xxxxxx, a licensed attorney, to prepare and prosecute this suit. For services rendered in connection with conservatorship and support of the child, judgement for attorney's fees, expenses, and costs through trial and appeal should be granted against Petitioner and in favor of Respondent for the use and benefit of Respondent's attorney and be ordered paid directly to Respondent's attorney, who may enforce the judgement in the attorney's own name. Respondent requests postjudgement interest as allowed by law.

5. Prayer

Respondent prays that Petitioner take nothing and that Respondent be granted all relief requested in this Original Answer.

Respondent also prays for attorney's fees, expenses, costs, and interest as requested above.

Respondent prays for general relief."

As I stated in the previous letter, I spoke with the Assistant AG of TX regarding this matter back in August, who then told X that she could not keep my child from me. The Asst. AG then provided me with a website and a phone number for Texas Access, to help me get visitation back.

In accordance with the instructions from an attorney from TX Access, I began sending letters of intent, both first class and certified to X every other week. I am still being denied access.

I attached copies of these letters, postal receipts, and other documents to the original Motion for Enforcement as exhibits.

The last two times I tried to exercise my rights, I had local law enforcement involved, and their are reports to verify this. This is also true of school officials and law enforcement, as I went to a game looking for him.

Questions:

1. Considering the documentation (letters, video, phone logs, written statements from witnesses (notarized),etc) is it even feasable for her to claim I voluntarily relinquished possession?

2. Since I spoke to the assistant AG on this in August, and she told X she couldn't do this, can I ask that the Asst. Ag be a witness that it wasn't voluntary?

3. In number 4 above, it refers to child support (which has been dealt with on it's own), why is this being brought up in a motion for enforcement of possession?

4. In regards to X's Original Answer, should I file a response, especially in light of the misinformation regarding insurance?

5. Since X has brought an attorney into play, am I now obligated to do the same, or should I continue on my own?

6. Do I need to start preparing a witness list, to be called, that can attest to the fact I have been trying to exercise my rights?

Original filed in Texas, all parties still reside in Texas, different counties, 50 miles apart.



I have been having problems with my ex-wife (D) denying visitations since late March of this year. My son, who is 13, had asked me about coming to live with me and my wife, and we were in the process of trying to talk to a lawyer about this, and were told that we could file for modification of custody on our own if needed.

D caught wind of it, and then tried to claim that since my wife and I argued (I had forgotten her birthday, she was upset) in front of my son, it was a "violent atmosphere", and even went so far as to try and involve CPS in it. When my wife spoke to CPS, she was told that from March to May, they get several "complaints" from custodial parents against NCPs to try and keep them from having summer visitations. Nothing further came of it.

I was allowed to speak to my son in mid May for about 2 minutes, but his mother was on the phone listening and told him that he didn't have to talk to me.

I have called a minimum of twice a week, only to get answering machines, my wife and I have both attempted to pick him up for weekend visits and summer access, only to find "no one home".

In August, D and I went before an assistant attorney general for Texas about child support. D claimed I hadn't paid it, I had proof I had. Turns out that when ex was remarried, she didn't file new name and address, so payments were sitting in limbo somewhere.

I mentioned to the assistant AG at that time that D hadn't allowed phone or physical access and visitation since March. The assistant AG told D that she could be held in contempt of court, and the possible punishments that she could incur. D again tried playing the "violent" card, to which it was asked if she had proof. To which D got mad, and refused to talk anymore.

The assistant gave me a number and website for Texas Access, and I called immediately after leaving her office.

At their advice, my wife typed up the standard "access and visitation" letters, and I began mailing a regular copy, and a certified copy each week I was to have visitation. The first week, my ex called at 3:00 p.m. on Friday to tell me my son had previous plans, and could we switch for the next weekend. I agreed, and again sent another letter outlining what we had discussed during the phone call.

My ex refused the first certified letter, and picked up the last 3 or 4 at one time - several days after attempts had been made. There are still two more certifieds waiting for pick up.

Friday we were to pick up my son, and after waiting over an hour at D's home, called the sheriff's office for a welfare check, another piece of advice from a Tx Access lawyer. They did not come near the house during the next hour or more, as we were sitting in front of it. At about 11 p.m., we received a message on our business phone from the dispatcher, and when my wife called back, no one knew anything.

Dispatcher called back Saturday afternoon and spoke to me. This is where it gets infuriating. It seems that no one ever went to the home. Instead, they called the house at regular intervals, and when D answered, they told her what was going on, to which she told them my son was fine, they had been to "dinner and a movie".

The dispatcher then asked to speak to my son, who when asked, said he was fine. No visual proof, nothing. I was under the impression that a welfare check was to be done in person. According to the dispatcher, no report was filed on this, only personal "reminder" notes were taken during the phone call.

Last week, I contacted son's school, and have since been being kept up to date on his progress. Some of it good, some not. Attempted to contact D by phone and e-mail concerning this, no reply as of yet.

Today, I mailed a "Denial of Access" letter, and another "Intent to Execise Access and Visitation" letter to D. Like all previous communication, one copy is sent First Class and another is sent Certified. I also sent copies of all of this to the District Court Clerk so that it could be added to the permanent case file.

I know I have several contempt of court motions that can be filed. This is where questions start.

1.  What do I need to do, exactly, in order to start filing the Motions for Contempt?

2.  What do I need to do to file an Ex-parte to enforce visitation?

3.  On filing the contempt motions, can I go back two months or more and file each one seperately?

4.  Is there anything else I can do that I have not already done?

5.  Should I also file a motion to modify the existing order, so that I pick up son directly from school?

6. Being as it's been so long since I've been allowed access, is it still feasable to try and modify residential custody?

7. Did the Sheriff handle the welfare check correctly?

8. If not, what can I do to ensure that next time, if needed, it is done correctly?

Thank you.

I apologize in advance for double posting this, but I found the Texas forum first....

I have been having problems with my ex-wife (D) denying visitations since late March of this year. My son, who is 13, had asked me about coming to live with me and my wife, and we were in the process of talking to a lawyer about this in March, and were told that we could file for modification of custody on our own if needed. D caught wind of it, and then tried to claim that since my wife and I argued (I had forgotten her birthday, she was upset) in front of my son, it was a "violent atmosphere", and even went so far as to try and involve CPS in it. When my wife spoke to CPS, she was told that from March to May, they get several "complaints" from custodial parents against NCPs to try and keep them from having summer visitations. Nothing further came of it.

I was allowed to speak to my son in mid May for about 2 minutes, but his mother was on the phone listening and told him that he didn't have to talk to me.

I have called a minimum of twice a week, only to get answering machines, my wife and I have both attempted to pick him up for weekend visits and summer access, only to find "no one home".

In August, my ex and I went before an assistant attorney general for Texas about child support. My ex claimed  I hadn't paid it, I had proof I had. Turns out that when ex was remarried, she didn't file new name and address, so payments were sitting in limbo somewhere. I mentioned to the assistant AG at that time that my ex wasn't allowing me to see or talk to my son, at which time the assistant told my ex that she could be held in contempt of court, and the possible punishments that she could incur. My ex again tried playing the "violent" card, to which it was asked if she had proof. At that time, she got mad, and refused to talk anymore. The assistant gave me a number and website for Texas Access, and I called immediately after leaving her office.

At their advice, my wife typed up the standard "access and visitation" letters, and I began mailing a regular copy, and a certified copy each week I was to have visitation. The first week, my ex called at 3:00 on Friday to tell me my son had previous plans, and we would switch for the next weekend. I agreed, and again sent another letter outlining what we had discussed during the phone call.

My ex refused the first certified letter, and picked up the last 3 or 4 at one time - several days after attempts had been made.

Again, last night, we were to pick up my son, and after waiting over an hour, called the sheriff's office for a welfare check, another piece of advice from a Tx Access lawyer. They did not come near the house during the next hour or more, as we were sitting in front of it. At about 11 p.m., we received a message on our business phone from the dispatcher, and when my wife called back, no one knew anything. This afternoon, the dispatcher again called back, and spoke to me.

This is where it gets infuriating. It seems that no one ever went to the home. Instead, they called the house at regular intervals, and when my ex answered, they told her what was going on, to which she told them my son was fine, they had been to "dinner and a movie". The dispatcher then asked to speak to my son, who when asked, said he was fine. That's it. No visual proof, nothing. I was under the impression that a welfare check was to be done in person????

Anyway, I know I have a case, but what I don't have is a lot of money. Do I need to hire a lawyer? Or is the contempt of court charge(s) something I can file myself? Is each and every denied visit a seperate contempt? My ex seems to think if she just ignores it all, it ( and I ) will go away. It's not going to, and if I have to beg and borrow to get a lawyer, I will. However, if I can get the ball rolling without one, I would like to start there.

Will make this as short and to the point as possible. (Edited for: I realized after I posted I had logged in as my husband, instead of me, I apologize in advance for any confusion!!!)

Seperated '01, divorced '04. In that 3 year period (we did pro se, and TX has the 3 year living apart default), we completely shared custody, etc. WHile I worked, he had son, and vice versa. Final Decree worded so that same schedule can be followed, with Standard TX Visitation if for some reason we couldn't agree.

I was working 2 jobs, on of which I was at til 3 or 4 am 3 or 4 nights a week when we agreed on divorce, custudy, etc. I  agreed to 50/50 with him having final say on residence. Within 3 months of final decree, X moved 50 miles away. Then moved in gf - now wife (not a problem at the time, and only minor issues now - and I will not throw stones as I and my now husband were living together also). WIthin another 2 months the "open parenting plan" went out the window, and he started going strictly by Standard order.

Next step, here and there, if I was there at 6:01 nor 6:03, I would find note on door that they didn't have time to conform to my schedule, therefore they did not wait. On 4 of 6 occasions, I called to let them know and it was agreed to, then I would find note. Would stay in town til 11 or 12, and leave msg on cell phones, home phone, and door to call me so I could pick up son. THreatened him with contempt, it stopped.

Fast forward to last June. X began working 5 p.m. to 5 a.m. Asleep by time son got up, woke around 4 p.m. This was supposed to be 5 days a week, ended up being 7 days more often than not.

Son complaining he didnt see dad, X complaining didn't see son, but had "no choice, I now have 6 mouths to feed" (X's wife has two children of her own, and they had a child together Feb 06) Wife was going to school, graduated as phlebotomist, worked 5 days in June last year, then quit. Discussed modifying custody with X, he would immediately start in on he couldn't afford to pay child support. Agreed to work less hours - this lasted 2 weeks.

July '06, son (age 6 at time) begins sitting in a corner and quietly sobbing for one to three hours when it's time to go back to X's. Even goes so far as to stuff himself in ottoman when X came and I answered door in Sept 06. Had to physically pull him out, and force him to go. (this killed me to do) Again discussed change in custody. X asked me to wait til WInter Break.

Getting son to go back gets worse. He begins to tell me why. Quick run down:
Has to share all clothes, even underwear
Has to share all toys, they are not allowed to claim any as their "own"
3 older boys (3,5,6) have to share same bath
He has to share his bed - step bro decided he wanted son's bed, so they now swap every other night
3 boys , and one infant share a trailer br (10 x 10 in a THREE br trailer)
Describes meals as mainly nachos chips with cheese sauce, or mac and cheese
etc
Gets spanked "alot lot" (this escalated.....when I picked him up in May, and he got in trouble, he curled in ball, screaming and sobbing "i'll do it, i promise, please don't hit me!!" I broke down in tears, had to leave room, husband sat with son for a minute. When I came back, I asked why he thought I would hit him. He said, "When Daddy and (SM) talk like that I get hit with the belt, and it hurts to go to sleep")

Winter Break,get son Xmas eve, is cranky, and acting strange. Will not eat Xmas dinner or desert, complains of "really really bad hurting in my stomach". TOuch him, he screams. Take to ER, he is so compacted that it is back up into esophogas. Calcium deposits also found. Dr. asks son if he eats his veggies. Son tells dr. that "daddy doesn't buy me those, says it costs too much, that's why I like mommy's, she give me tomatoes, carrots, apples....etc" (Costs too much = he nets approx $2800/mo, child support is $174, wife gets a total of $600 or so from other two) Takes next week to get him regular.

Sons begs to live with us, talk to X, he again refuses. Talk to 4 lawyers, can not afford retainer.  I get him to go back only by promising to call everynite.

Talk to X, tell him if he does not agree to modification by end of school, I will file. He blows it off, tells me he's doing "best he can" and that I need to realize that he now has 3 other kids, he can't make special time just for our son.

Begin gathering up all evidence I can from Jan to May. Pick son up in March, he mentions "talking doctor". I call X, he tells me that son has been seeing counselor for 4 weeks, at CPS mandate. I ask why I wasn't informed, he tells me that he hasn't been able to reach me - I talk to son daily, and had seen him 2 weeks before. Call counselor, find out son having emotional outbursts in school, is acting much younger than he is, etc. This is NOT child I see every other week, and am shocked. Teacher had said this had happened in Sept, but had improved. Contact teacher, find out son has been spending most days in bathroom crying, refusing to do work. Go to next session. Counselor tells me later that with me in the room, he is "normal child", but when I left at her request, he reverted to about a 2 year old with only X there.

Call CPS, find out they are being investigate for neglect, but that X's wife has told them that his emotional state stems from "abuse child witnessed in mother's home" WTF???? Have personal knowledge of her 5 year old acting out at home, and they even had him at a damn psychologist for past year!!

Counselor deems that home enviroment isn't allowing my son to develop as an individual, and is not allowed to identify as "independent being, seperate from other children in home, regardless of age." Requires X and wife to "learn how to correctly parent a child to encourage development".

Counselor tells me that son is improving, when asked why, he tells her because his dad told him after school ends, he gets to live with mommy, but only if he "acts better".

may 07 - get phone call from X's wife (have been solely dealing with her for 7 weeks at this point, as X "works too much, and doesnt' have time"), asking if I am coming to get son MOnday after school is released. I agree. Pick him up, ask when they will pick him up, told 6 to 8 weeks. No argument here. Now Aug 2, and X has seen son total of 1 hour on Father's Day, and July 4, 5, 6.

I file pro se July 20. X refuses to discuss, and as of today, "I haven't had time to deal with that yet, too much going on.' Find out that night before I filed, he walked out on job - so now both are unemployed. They move back here, in with wife's gma, approx july 22. X did not tell me or son this until Monday, when I called telling him son has CK pox. X tells me that he can't pick up son Tuesday due to this, as the gma could get it, and so could the baby (now 18 months). He is allegedly starting job tomorrow.

Sees son 6 minutes Tuesday, I went in bedr, left them alone, he left on own. Son upset, "daddy doesn't care about me, all he talks about is SB1, SB2, HB. he didn't even ask if I was ok"

WEdnesday: stops by for 12 minutes, promises son "as soon as you get better, you can see where we are living now" son asks why not now, X says "because what you have can kill gma" as he's walking out door. Now get to deal with freaking out child, scared he's going to die

Thursday: stops by for 10 minutes, as he's leaving, tells me, "now that he's better, I'll probably take him home tomorrow". I politely inform him that as of 6 tomorrow, it is my "scheduled" time. I still am battling with myself on this - do I make son go, or do I follow what X wanted to do for so long - the SOP??

Evidence gathered at this point:

Neglecting to follow through with dental work from last sept that X would not allow me take him to at last minute - now a major cavity, appt next week to fix, as it is now pediatric specialist only.

Came home July 6 with CD dad had burned off, with son's name in X handwriting. First song begins:"F*ck, MotherF*****, F*** You, repeat for next 45 seconds." 2nd song starts out: "I'll F*** You up, something about brains blown out, more expletives." MY SON IS 7!!!! Did not even listen to rest of it, took it away, and put up.

Job and home instability

Teacher's emails

Counselor's emails

No phone calls during entire 60+ days, when son calls, x tells him he's "too busy"

Refusal to take care of child while ill

Denial of visitation numerous times

Failure to inform of psychological probs, CPS, school probs

and more.

Now, my question, is this enough in TX to file for ex parte order? The dental is def neglect, the cd is IMO harmful, living arrangements are not stable.

IF it is, how do I do this? ANy advice appreciated.