Hello Soc,
I found this site a few days ago and after reading alot of post in this forum in I decided to try myself. You recieve alot of trust and respect from a number of people. I'm taking that as a good omen for a starting over point for myself. :)
I recently went to court for a custody hearing for the second time this year for custody of my 10 year son. The first time was in Feb. The end result was joint physical custody with myself as primary physical custodian and my son's father has liberal visitation. 3 weekend a month during the school year with one week after school lets out at summer until 2 weeks before the beginning of the next school year with me having 3 weekends a month during this summer break and sharing in all major decisions.
the custody agreement was mostly working out the way it was set out in the judges' orders. With a few give and takes. I should add that my son's father lives in MD. He moved there last summer from PA
Also during the course of this year there were some major changes in my life. I did end an 8 year relationship with a man that i had 2 more children with. Needless to say i had to pick up the pieces of my life and more on after some diastrious repercussions of this break up.
Also during this time i met my current fiancee, we moved in together and i did have to switch my sons to a different elementary school. But this school is in the same school district with the same curicullum and same academic programs for helping children with help in the their studies.
My son's father did have a problem with the school switch. But I did find out that we could keep him in the same elementary. We would just have to provide transportation. I told my x still but he said that was too much to ask of anyone. Let's try the new school.
Then out of the blue in Sept i recieved notice of the x requesting special relief wanting to modify the custody due to compelling reasons/chances in circumstances. (My circumstances that is).
We had the special master's hearing last month. The special master recommended that the custody be reversed. I appealed it. So we went to court last thurs.
The end result was that the judge decided to reverse the custody because of the changes in my life this last year. He said I was unstable.
My lawyer kept trying to bring up the fact that there are two other children in the household and even though they are only half siblings. They have also been raised together. The judge said that he wasn't giving them much consideration in the situation.
When it was also brought up that my younger two's father also moved a distant away (an hour and half drive) . He takes the his kids 3 weekends a month. The judge didn't seem concerned that the kids would be lucky to see each other one weekend a month during the school year. He said that we will just half to see what Mr XXXX does about this.
Though I understand that sometimes when people have changes in their lives it might be best to move children. My problem is I did have changes in my life this year but nothing that was detrimental to my kids. My life actually inproved over this year.
My kids became happier. My sons came out of their shells more and became involved in outside activities. Boy scouts and martial arts. Which before i was not able to do for them.
I know i'm hurt and crashed by this change. I have raised my son for 10 years and i'm lost without him. But his brother is devastated by this change. I don't agree with the judges ruling.
I know i should have some kind of recourse in this situation. My lawyer is doing some research and will be calling me this week. But i can't sit still and do nothing. So have been doing research for myself. No idle hands in this household...lol
but much of what i have read especially in changing custody or separating half siblings doesn't seem pertinent in my case. Most of them seem to be extreme changes and changes that are detrimental to the children involved.
So I am in a limbo and would greatly appreciate any comments, advise or anything that will help me help myself.
!. Where to start?
2. Do i just take him back to court or appeal to a higher court?
I"m so lost at this point i don't even know the proper questions to ask
thank you
PA Mom