Topics

State is North Carolina

Childrens ages SD 7 & SS 5 (if it matters)

There is a current child support order in place.

My question, we received a letter in the mail from the child support enforcement agency friday the 6th of October.  The letter is requesting the Bio Father (my husband) to meet with them to discuss medical support.  Now we used to have it included in our first set of calculations for support.  June of this year we went back for a decrease and were granted a 200$ decrease b/c my husband lost his job and then didn't make nearly as much money as before.  With the reduction we thought that the medical would have been included in the new calculations.  I guess they weren't since we received this letter asking for medical support.  So here we sit waiting on a call back from the case worker at the CSEA for this appt.  

The court order states that the BM's new husband would be putting the kids on his insurance at his job (this court order is 2 yrs old).  The new husband lost his job and I guess doesn't have insurance on the kids anymore.  Would the courts still enforce a court order even if the circumstances have changed?  

Another problem is DH recently started a new job, he makes much more money than he did at the job where he was working when he requested the decrease.  We are nervous they will ask about his new income because we fear an increase.  We are barely scrapeing by with the bills we have.  My DH won't even be eligible until November 25th for benefits.  What can we expect to happen now since he isn't eligible?  And what can we expect to happen once he becomes eligible?

I am the NCP and reside in NC, CP and children reside in PA, Deisgnated meeting spot is VA.  NC holds jurisdiction over case.

Holiday Visitation Guidelines:

Thanksgiving= even number years children are to be with the NCP from 2pm on the day before Thanksgiving until 2pm on the day before school reconvenes.

Christmas= every year children are to be with the NCP from 2pm on December 26th until 2pm on the day before school reconvenes.

NCP and CP are to meet at designated meeting spot on above days at above times.

My problem is the CP is pregnant and has a C-Section Scheduled for Dec. 7th.  She has informed me that she won't be meeting me in VA for the Thanksgiving or Christmas visitation times.  Her reasoning was it isn't safe for her to travel during Thanksgiving and her doctor has adviced her not to do anything for 4 weeks after the baby (which is by her new husband not me) is born which blocks out Christmas as well.

She has told me that if I want to see my kids I could drive up to PA both holidays and get them and bring them back to PA at the end of the allowed visitation times.  I have suggested that since she is obligated per the court order to provide transportation for the children that maybe the children's new step father will step up and carry out her obligation.  She has told me that wouldn't be happening because her husband had to work.  

After this conversation last night with my ex (half of this conversation was recorded on my answering machine)we are still at an impass.  I can not financially make the trip to PA (and even if I could she has already said that she would not be willing to pay for half of the expenses).

The letter of intent to exercise court ordered visitation has been mailed out today certified and a copy has been sent to the court clerk to be placed in the court file.

Questions:

1) Since my ex has told me that she won't be meeting me in VA (I have this recorded as proof) Do I still have to make the trip to VA?

2)When can I file for contempt of court? Does it have to wait until after the date we are supposed to meet?

3) Since half of the conversation was recorded on the answering machine and you can hear me state this, I should be safe with the laws in both states about recording someone right?  If not which states law would be upheld?

4) At what point do I send the Denial of Visitation Letter?

5) Since my ex was recorded while saying she won't be meeting me for Christmas visitation when should I file for contempt of court for denial of my Christmas visitation?  Could this matter be handled at the same time as this Thanksgiving issue?

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks

I'm posting this for a friend.  She is having a difficult time with her oldest son's actions and behaviour.

Here's some of my friends background info.

Her ex lives with his aunt and her 15 yr old grandson.
Her 10 yr old has begun to call the 5 yr old names like retard, idiot, etc. and he's lying all the time. (which is probably a result of seeing the 15 yr old do this and not get into trouble)
B4 the ex moved in with his aunt the boys were really close.

My friend tried talking to the kids dad and he says they behave fine for him that they only act that way with her is because she's a crazy psycho B!tch. He will talk bad about her to the kids and will tell them they aren't allowed to listen to what she says or love her because that will make him mad if they do. This comes straight from her kids mouth. What is she to do? It's not likely that she is going to get this man to cooperate with her in raising these kids together peacefully. It's not fair to the children that they are being dragged into this no matter who has hurt feelings or for whatever reason. The kids see their father with his standard parenting time being every other weekend and every wednesday. I can understand he may want his kids more often, but I can also understand my friends reluctance in granting this since her ex isn't exactly fostering a loving, and caring relationship between her and their kids.

Any suggestions on how to handle this type of sittuation?

I am the Step Mom, DH and I live in NC with our son, and the Bio Mom moved to PA with the kids (ages 8 and 6) back in 2004. We did fight the move from NC to PA but was told there was nothing we could do to stop her.

With that said...

DH and I have a business we are going to start very soon. We have decided to make Me the 100% owner of the business so that she (hopefully) will not have any claim on the business.

I can't find anywhere where she will be entitiled to any part of the business, BUT what if the business starts making a large amount of Revenue?  

Basically at what point if any will she be able to have any claim to my business and any revenue it may or may not generate?

Okay  a friend of mine has an problem and has been recieving some really crazy advice.  Her problem is there is an obvious case of Parental Alienation, and mental abuse from her ex towards her two boys, ages 10 and 5. She is the CP, the oldest boy is exhibiting signs of Parental alienation.  


Anyway the one peice of advice that bothers me the most is...

Someone told her to bribe her ex into agreeing to terminate his parental rights in exchange for no longer having to pay child support.

Isn't that illegal?

Any info regarding this would be appreciated I don't want my friend to be receiving bad advice and I think that this is really bad advice.

Background first:

In 2004 DH and BM went to court about the BM relocating the children out of state over 500 miles (one way) from their home state and town. The Judge at that time decided that the move was allowed and thru that set in motion all the problems.

The kids are SD 8 and SS 6. They live in PA we live in NC. NC still holds jurisdiction over case.

Current Problem:

I received an email from the BM stating that her husband got a job in Texas and she and the kids will be moving from their home in PA to Wisconsin until January. After January she will move the kids down to Texas where their step father is living for however long he has this job.

Because of this move visitation is now put into question. We used to meet halfway which was a 4 hr drive one way for each of us. So meeting wasn't too bad during the Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and Summer visitation times.

But obviously that won't work now because the miles have DOUBLED with her move to Wisconsin and then TRIPLED when she moves the kids to Texas.

It's not realistic for us to expect children to travel for such a long period of time during the shorter holidays (like thanksgiving, christmas and easter) when we only have them for 4 days. Much of their vacation time would be spent traveling.

During the summer when Dh's visitation is longer it would be more realistic to seek/enforce visitation with the kids.  

My questions are:
1) What is a standard interstate visitation arrangement for School aged children?

2)Who generally is expected to pay for the plane tickets ?
(b/c meeting halfway is no longer feaseable it would take too long and in the end cost more then flying)

Any advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated.