OK...I'm going through a divorce now, will likely be CP, and to my great surprise, c/s is turning out to be an issue. I'm mostly just shocked that stbx is even considering going with the state minimums, and in visiting c/s boards, I'm surprised by how many people are trying to get support orders lowered. Shoot, one of the ads on this page says "lower your child support." I think it's terribly sad.
I support myself and if necessary could support our daughter alone, so that's not an issue. I wouldn't have had a kid if I hadn't been pretty certain of my ability to do that. And I certainly don't expect stbx to support me. But I thought the point of having the kid is that you give the kid everything you can. If the kid needs money for activities, college, whatever, you don't wait for someone to drag you into going out to earn it -- I'd think, well, you just go do it.
My dad had a professional career, but when he wanted more money so my brother and I could do things, he drove truck early morning to make a few bucks on the side. His dad got up at 3:30 am and worked like a madman all day. I'm pretty soft compared to them, but plenty of 1:30 AMs see me up in the kitchen working on a freelance job or figuring out how to bump up the hourly rate, even though I know I'll have to be up by 7. I do that partly so my preschooler can have morning nanny, someone who'll actually pay attention to her, instead of having to be in fulltime daycare in a sea of kids. I want to make sure she can go to gymnastics, hockey, whatever activities are going to get her working and playing at something with some discipline and focus. She'll have significant college savings so that she doesn't have to walk out of college with a heavy debt burden. I'll have retirement savings so she doesn't have to try to support me as she's raising her own family. She's got an insurance trust in case something happens to me, so she'll be able to stay in her home and school, have college paid for, and have money to help her dad pay for nannies & household help. If I die, I don't want the rest of her life busted up, with her shuffled around among relatives feeling like a burden. Yes, it's a lot of money. That's what it costs to give a child good odds of a comfortable, healthy life, one where she can freely use her talents and gifts and make herself as happy & productive in society as she can.
Which I'd think is the goal, and which is why I need to get back to work now.
But please enlighten me. Why are you guys fighting buying life insurance -- possibly the cheapest insurance there is -- and paying for braces? Why not pick up another job?
I support myself and if necessary could support our daughter alone, so that's not an issue. I wouldn't have had a kid if I hadn't been pretty certain of my ability to do that. And I certainly don't expect stbx to support me. But I thought the point of having the kid is that you give the kid everything you can. If the kid needs money for activities, college, whatever, you don't wait for someone to drag you into going out to earn it -- I'd think, well, you just go do it.
My dad had a professional career, but when he wanted more money so my brother and I could do things, he drove truck early morning to make a few bucks on the side. His dad got up at 3:30 am and worked like a madman all day. I'm pretty soft compared to them, but plenty of 1:30 AMs see me up in the kitchen working on a freelance job or figuring out how to bump up the hourly rate, even though I know I'll have to be up by 7. I do that partly so my preschooler can have morning nanny, someone who'll actually pay attention to her, instead of having to be in fulltime daycare in a sea of kids. I want to make sure she can go to gymnastics, hockey, whatever activities are going to get her working and playing at something with some discipline and focus. She'll have significant college savings so that she doesn't have to walk out of college with a heavy debt burden. I'll have retirement savings so she doesn't have to try to support me as she's raising her own family. She's got an insurance trust in case something happens to me, so she'll be able to stay in her home and school, have college paid for, and have money to help her dad pay for nannies & household help. If I die, I don't want the rest of her life busted up, with her shuffled around among relatives feeling like a burden. Yes, it's a lot of money. That's what it costs to give a child good odds of a comfortable, healthy life, one where she can freely use her talents and gifts and make herself as happy & productive in society as she can.
Which I'd think is the goal, and which is why I need to get back to work now.
But please enlighten me. Why are you guys fighting buying life insurance -- possibly the cheapest insurance there is -- and paying for braces? Why not pick up another job?