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Topics - Genie

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My X collapsed and went into a coma on 7/7.  There seems to not be much hope of him coming out of it anytime soon.  The Drs don't seem hopeful that he ever will.  I have remained close to him and his family so non of the problems are with us.  We are all devastated and stressed.

Now the questions:

1.  I'm not sure exactly how soc security death benefits work and/or SS disability benefits. We have 2 minor children (5 & 1 yrs) and he has 2 children with 1st wife (19 & 15 yrs).  I assume dependent benefits would be split 3 equal ways then?

2.  Obviously he would be unable to pay CS. Even if he comes out of the coma the Drs says he will have permanent brain damage.  Should I have his CS stopped?  He has never paid me any in the 11 mons we have been divorced.  

3.  Per the divorce I owe him $20K minus any CS unpaid and medical bills unpaid. So I was basically not going to owe him anything at that time since he didn't think he needed to pay.  It would've been offset and he still would've owed me money.  What happens with this money now? Is it considered to be part of his estate that his X can try to come after?

4.  He is supposed to have $50K life insurance policy for 1st wife and $100K for me.  Of course he doesn't have any of these.  Can she try to come after that $20K minus what he owes me now for that?

I know I am not responsible for any of his bills or debt since we are no longer married.  However, he was always only a bank to his first wife so I can see her trying to get whatever she can.  There is no estate as he has nothing.  Any advise on how to handle her is appreciated. She is already asking questions and digging for info which non of us is giving her any.  

I live in IL.

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Dear Socrateaser / Soc..Question about divorce etc...
« on: Jul 31, 2005, 08:06:04 PM »
Because my STBX hasn't responded to the divorce petition or showed up in court (hasn't even made effort to find out when court dates are), the judge defaulted him last Monday.  So now my attorney is writing up the Settlement agreement which will basically give me everything I ask for and the judge will sign off on it on 8/23.

Questions:

1.  Is this all there is too it?  It just seems so easy to me.

2.  She was going to leave visitation out until she petitions for it. I stated I would rather have something in there (Reasonable visitation or something like that) and spelling out that it is to be supervised b/c of his extreme alcoholism (we have a 5 yr old and 6 wk old baby).  I am afraid he could get visitation in future if petitioned if the drinking is addressed now and supervision stated.  What do you think is the best way to go?

3.  Should I get specific with dependent deductions, 401K/petition etc etc or just leave it out. I was told anything not in settlement goes to me anyways since I have custody (i.e tax deductions) or can't be addressed in future if not addressed now.  Is that true? What do you think is the best way to go?  

I am in IL.

Thank you in advance.

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I am in Northern IL (DuPage County) and my marriage has gone from bad to worse to horrible and I don't think I can repair it.

My husband is an alcoholic and his drinking has gotten alot worse in the past several years. He doesn't feel he needs to work and basically drinks from the moment he wakes up till he goes to bed. He finds money to drink from his loser friends or doing odd jobs for others.

I opened my own checking account several years ago so he can't access my money. I filed a Quit Claim Deed on our house b/c of him owing CS for his 2 older children. He spent over 90 days in work release over the Summer and quit his job he got the next day after getting out. It looks like he will be going back next month's court date.

He is very emotionally abusive berating me daily telling me I am stupid and don't do anything etc etc even though I pay all the bills and do everything needed for our 4 yr old. He has threatened me several times telling me he will get me or I won't make it to the court house or plain coming out saying he will make sure I die etc. He tells our daughter I am a b**** and a c***.

Questions

1. I am worried about visitation for my 4 yr old with down syndrome and the baby I am pregnant with right now (big oops). I will ask for supervised visitation at either his parents or court supervisor. How hard is this to get with this situation?

How would visitation be for a baby in this situation if given unsupervised?

2. How about the house? I don't want to lose it since I have been paying for it and all the bills by myself for the last almost 5 years. Quit Claim filed but bought after marriage. Owned since 2/98. Quit Claim not filed with mortgage company but am planning on refinancing in my name only.

Could I keep the house with no profit to him since I have paid for it myself for this time?

3. Can you get custody of children and not file for divorce or separation?

4. He hasn't seen his older children for visitation for 2 1/2 years for RO by his ex for threat he made to her. It is now expired and still doesn't keep in contact with them.  Can I terminate his rights if he decides not to be part of our children's lives? Or do you have to have step parent to adopt before can happen?

The only thing keeping me from filing right now is to make sure my kids are safe. He passes out, leaves whenever he wants, I don't let him watch daughter alone at all and she goes to day care when I am working b/c he is always drinking, his lisence is suspended for hit & run fine he has paid (he was drunk but they don't know that). I need to make sure they aren't put in danger. He would have no problem driving them around if he had a vehicle and he has no problem driving drunk and even has drank beer while driving.

Thank you. Sorry a little long.

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Visitation Issues / KathyNY...How did it go for Halloween?....
« on: Nov 04, 2006, 05:10:08 PM »
I have been thinking of you.

Did you guys come to IL and see the kids?  Did BM cooperate?  Did you have a good time?  How are they doing?

How are you guys doing? Haven't seen you here much.

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Visitation Issues / Question for NCPs Dad's or Mom's.....
« on: Apr 08, 2005, 02:44:13 PM »
I am looking for information on supervised visitaiton.  Need some specifics and personal experiences please...

Does anyone here have supervised visitation or had it in past or know someone who has/has had it?
What was the reason you were ordered this?
What did CP say, do, prove to make this what was ordered?
What were the terms?
Were you able to get this reversed at any point? What did you have to do to get normal visitation schedule?

I know many lie ect and NCPs are stuck with this. Just looking for personnal experiences on why you were given it and what you were able to do about it.

Thank you for your time.

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