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In VA. I have DCSE going after my X for support. She hasn't paid 1 dime in 20 months. She is in NC. I have Sole Phys/Legal. DCSE has it in the court unit and is trying to move it from circuit to j&DR court, my guess is to speed it up and get it before a judge so we can get the order.They had me sign a " long arm statute" which allows them to use federal law to have NC enforce the order.
Anyone had experience with Va DSCE and this process....how long does it take? DSCE is hard to get info from.

I am thinking of using DSS to go after X for support.Actually opening the claim thru them. Anyone have any experience with this? I don't think doing the support pro se is a good idea in Va, to much at stake.

I just won sole legal & physical custody in Va of 4 & 7 yr old. X quit her job during trial. She showed up for final divorce trial 5 months pregnant ( had boyfriend with her !).
X now is saying that since she isn't working ( is a cosmetologist in NC) and is having another baby, good luck to me on getting support from her !!!!

Suggestions Please????????????????

supposed to receive CS from an NC resident. I feel they  won't pay and need to know what to do to enforce it from out of that state? I understand NC will revoke drivers license and professional license(?), is there a certain amount they have to be in arrears for that.......any info will be appreciated

If one has made a payment arrangement with Atty and kept agreement, then less that 30 days before divorce trial the atty says that he no longer is satisfied with the arrangement and if new one isn't made they will withdraw.What is likelyhood that judge would allow it in a contested custody case?

STBX's atty told mine today that she is probably going to withdraw as counsel.Final D set for next month. STBX has been sanctioned for not complying with discovery and properly supplementing interrogatorys ( 2 motions to comply were done before sanction).Sanction stops STBX from using anything new or not addressed as evidence and my atty fee's ( yet to be set or argued)are to be paid for cost of motions. STBX's atty has not responded to last several letters from mine and STBX has cancelled visits for last 2 months straight. STBX quit job to stall off paying CS ( not a dime in a year).STBX's atty has refused to respond to 3 requests to hold settlement conference. I have Pendente sole legal & physical custody, have for over a year.
Question's  are:
Has anyone had opposing counsel withdraw this close to final ?
Judge can not grant it, but will they?
If atty quits, how will that impact me- positive and /or negative ?

OK, so now NCP failed to comply with 2nd motion to compel discovery and has been sanctioned , to no longer be able to submit evidence in final trial end of year.
Also NCP has cancelled last few times in a row of EOW visitation  after I recently succeeeded in getting modification which has her driving further ( inter-state cuz NCP chose to move) and gives no notice. My atty has to check on the visit day, to see and then NCP atty takes hours respond , just  to then say she won't be coming.NCP is claiming no longer has a car. Can we not tell her atty that until NCP can provide a proper schedule that she CAN keep, visitation is suspended, as it is wrong to have little children get prepared to see NCP only to be dissappointed regularly like this ?? Suggestion, comment ?

I am looking for educated guess on outcome. I am well aware judge's can do whatever, so don't need to hear that, want solid opinions of those who have been there.
I am sole ( phs & legal) pendente lite, have been for a year already. STBX moved out of state, has been working and when I went for support stbx quit working> Had to file motion to compel discovery to which responses were inadequate, especially on income and assets. My atty has requested supplemental discovery to which stbx atty refuses to respond. We will be filing 2nd motion. Question here is if we ask judge to imputeto at least 40 hrs at min wage, will he?Stbx will say she is going to school now, although hasn't provided discovery showing that. Stbx has not paid $1 toward support since she left.

Next, stbx has EOW visitation, but it is  a 600 mile RT for kids eow. I have changed jobs and now cant get off early eo friday to be at the meet spot as before , no longer a boss, new job and new schedule.  i am going to motion to amend schedule so that stbx ( remember is claiming unemployed now!) will have to drive further to get children at scheduled time. The childrens travel time is same no matter who's car theyre in, so they are not experiencing any further issue,only inconvenience will be to stbx, but she will get to spend more time with them in car. I know she will object, so what do you think a judge will do, after all I am sole custodian and sole source of income?

I have sole legal and physical custody, have had for a year. Divorce still not final though. NCP has had 2 motions to compel discovery without complying, now NCPs atty has ignored communication from my atty to agree to support amount to be paid to me ( judge asked attys to agree to the amount then present order) so were asking court to go ahead and order it as drafted.
Question is will this not make NCP look really bad, and will judge factor the above lack of cooperation by her and her atty into decision at the final if she tries to change custody ? It is amazing that even knowing support must be paid , she is acting like it doesnt exist. It isnt even a large amount of money.

Father has sole custody pendente lite and it will be more than a year
 ( that I have raised the children on my own) till final divorce hearing.STBX left and moved to another state a year ago.In an 2nd pendente STBX was ordered to pay CS. Children ( 4 & 7)have flourished in past year while with father. Since  custody is temp until final decree, if STBX tries to make an end run at custody at final
( to get out of paying CS),since over a year will have passed, what "realistic" chance would STBX have,wouldn't  STBX need to  demonstrate substantial change, and wouldn't it  have to be something extraordinary and that would be be in best interest of children  beyond the excellent environment they are currently in, other than she just wants to have them because she has now become settled? Anyone have experience with similar situation in Va ?

So STBX enrolled in school and now claims only works 15 hours a week. Worked much more until heard child support was on the horizon ! Then quit and got lower paying, less time working job. STBX has a weekend day and weekday off school and work, so I think should be made to work on that day. atty thinks since STBX is in school judge won't impute and that it will cost more to fight than it's worth. Anyone have experience with this?

STBX has visitation rights only , I have full custody. Final "D" will occur after summer. Due to STBX refusing to talk or discuss anything without using lawyer we had to go back to Judge for summer schedule. She got a total of 5 weeks split up into 2 segments replacing the EOW schedule that was in place. STBX also was ordered to pay child support ( under employed, but will work on that ) as STBX  wasn't employed when first split and now is. It will be very little, but at least something and at least now is legally accountable .Seems that Judges are very touchy about amending any orders and I was told that my outcome is really good
( was it ?).
What is best way to keep track of income for someone who is on commission, that will actively conceal income?

Still pending final "D". Pendente  visitation was set for EOW for NCP . NCP moved to another state prior to Pendente thinking sole  custody would be granted , just not to me  ( NCP was wrong!). Due to  NCP's move, it causes a 3 and 6 yr old to travel 1200 miles and 22 hours a month.Info now is NCP goes to work 1 of the 2 days of visitation on the EOW weekends ( instead of working during the week on the weekends children are there), and spends almost no time with children .  Children are travelling all those miles and 11 hrs R/T  EOW, to only get NCP to spend 1 day with them. Anyone think this is not in best interest of child, to be subjected to that amount of travel at these ages to only have NCP spend that little time. Would it not be better for the children to not travel and for NCP to do the travelling, maybe do it once every 3rd weekend and actually spend the whole weekend with them.....especially since NCP is the one who chose to move and has no reason to not move back to the state we live in,  near children.Job NCP has is very very replaceable in this area. Anyone have some long distance schedules that were ruled to make more sense for the children?
Anyone have a feeling on how a Judge would view this?

 Selling a property when one spouse won't agree to sales price and they are not on the mortgage, but you are in divorce process? How can this be handled?

Got sole custody in Pendente Lite in Va.
NCP is trying to overturn or modify before final hearing. Do I have to present all witnesses, evidence all over agan as if pendente never occured  IE: from scratch, or does the court take
 into account it's prior reasons for granting sole custody to begin with and make NCP demonstrate some "substantial" change from Pendente forward to try and prove NCP's case?

I have sole custody of my 2 and 6 year old. She has visitation every other weekend. Court order specifies she meet me in a specific place at specific time for exchange. She had moved out of state so it is a 6 hour rond trip for me and the kids,just on my end. Weather is supposed to be snow turning to ice , very dangerous for driving and on national news ( location is Va.) I called her last night and it went to answering machine so I left message asking her to meet 3 hours earlier in order to not be on roads after dark when ice will make driving very treacherous.
She is refusing and saying that if it is that bad, she will return them on Monday instead. I said NO, that means the 6 yr old misses school ( in 1st grade)  and that she had ample notice of impending weather a full day in advance anmd that she is now fully aware AGAIN , so she has time to get them to me before iceing begins. She is using the weather as an excuse to not return them by waiting until it IS bad instead of leaving early and beating the storm she knows is coming.
Question is , by making her aware well in advance and by her refusing to keep best interest of children ahead of her own , what are my alternatives if she keeps them , as monday could turn to Tuesday if roads are bad enough ????

I am the Father  and won SOLE custody in a Virginia pendente lite hearing . My soon to be ex (STBX) originally filed for divorce and sole custody and lost.She had already taken the children and moved to another state before pendente Lite hearing.
I have since obtained 2 protective orders on her for threats (none in force now) and she retalliated by fileing false allegations of abuse with CPS. CPS and Police have ruled all as "unfounded". I  have bona fide a job with much higher pay ( 30%higher with benefits also) in another state , pendente lite only says I must give her and the court 30 days notice of intent to relocate.Also she was unemployed at hearing time so I got no child support, now she works.

My questions are:
1. Can she prevent the move, as now she gets every other weekend visitation, my move would be to Georgia from Va and she is in W.Va. We each drive  3 hours each way every other weekend to exchange children, obviously that will change. What form does my notice have to consist of?

2. Can I get CPS to press charges against her for malicious and bad faith allegations?

3. How can I get her to pay support, as I have no lawyer and she has a nasty one?

I know holidays are the tougest for those of us going through divorce. I just wanted to get this out.
Since I never wanted the divorce to begin with, it still seems like such a waste. Still would try ( if STBX was healthy and dealing with core issues).I was always the one wanting to find a better way.STBX refused to even talk to a mediator, went staright to divorce. STBX is surrounded by( by choice) people who only reinforce the negative so anything I say is either not  really heard or treated as a trick. Guess it is easier for STBX to try and be perceived as a victim than to take responsibility and do the hard work.
STBX seems so consumed with vengence and placing blame that is missing the big picture THE KIDS.
I guess what I am saying is that while most with sole custody may gloat I do not. It is truly the best for the children in this case, but I remeber being the one in the other position and I know the pain that I felt.Because I still care, I hate that another has to feel that , ESPECIALLY when there is a  choice.
 I see the kids enjoying things and still wish STBX was there to see it too.I am told that I should stop worrying about STBX, as STBX doesnt share my view of things. Just way easier said then done. I still pray for a miracle, even though the trust is sooooo badly eroded on both sides, as STBX had at least one "relationship" after  the split. Guess it just seems so sad. Problem is it takes just 1 to ruin a marriage and 2 to make it work.

No one wins except the lawyers !

After many years just found out STBX's child was not adopted as I was told. STBX gave custody to someone. Doesnt that mean I have been deceived out of certain rights and do i now have ability to request visitation ( even thogh child is now a teen),doesnt it also mean STBX had legal responsibilitys to that child, as opposed to not having any if he were adopted?

If I as Sole custodian move to the same state as X, and final decree states she has once a month visitation it would be up to me to agree to more IF .....she actually will see the children EOW ( which I am unsure X will want to).
Question is , since final order states once a month, I am under no obligation to do more or less than what final order states. IF X wants to try and demand more, what would she need to do and if I don't transfer file from Va to NC, what happens??

If I as  CP move from Va to the same state as the NCP, I have to give 30 days notice to NCP and Court. Does anyone know if that must be a physical address, or is  a mailing address sufficient, one that someone is available to sign for service at if need be ?

Judge recently ordered that only wife is to exchange the kids, that all her family members must remain in car and are not to approach fathers vehicle. Now the father has taken to prop a camera on the steering wheel. This cause the kids to ask WHY ? 1st, the court clearly saw stbx's parents as highly confrontational and borderline dangerous or he wouldn't creat an order so specific relating to them staying in their cars,etc. Problem is these people are just "nuts", this will get worse unless the judge specifically eliminates them from even being present. Suggestions ?? Oh this is in Va

 Due to  agressive behavior by stbx family members I requested and Judge amended the  temp visitation order ( final decree soon) to say very specifically, exactly who could pick up children from me when stbx has visitation. That no other people could get out of their car or approach the vehicle. Stbx has failed to show several times and instead sends other family members with who the children don't want to go with. Previous order specified that "the parties shall meet" and those members were not "parties".
Would you think that since this will be same judge who rules on final, that he now has a good picture that there is something very wrong on stbx's side? Has anyone else had a Judge kmake an order so specific when requested by a CP dad ?

For the 4 th time in a row stbx ( has visitation rights only) fails to be at court ordered location.Last 3 times she flat cancelled. This time her relative is there and the children refused to go with him. I allowed relative almost 10 minutes to talk to kids and see if he could persuade them. They told him they didnt want to take that long ride with him, without their mommy there.
It came down to either I was going to have to physically force the kids to go, or take them home( this was a 4 hr round trip and it was 8:30 at night). If the mother was there the kids would have gone.
On way home the mother calls on cell and demands I take kids back. I put daughter on phone ( she is 7) and she tells her mom that she did not want to ride with the relative and that if mom would come she would go.Mother tries to ply her with promise of a party and gifts and daughter tells her no thanks, I will get them next time.
This was Friday night. Saturday night the cops come to my door at midnight, stbx and relative are parked up street. STBX told cops I had violated order and refused visitation. When I explained what happened and played the "audio" of daughter talking to relative and mother, he agreed that he would not have forced kids to go without mother being there and was going to refer STBX to magistrate.
I did offer that if stbx would call me sunday morning I would let her have the kids here locally until 7 p.m.That it was absurd that she would suggest that they should be removed from their beds, asleep after midnight.
Cop agreed and said he was going to relay Sunday offer to stbx and tell her she could see magistrate if she wanted for further interpretation.
They went to rate and apparently he took no action, as she called me at 2 a.m. to say we would meet today. I had her meet at police station parking lot and sign a paer agreeing she would return them tonight at 7 at same place.
I think she is going to have her atty ( tomorrow) try to say I violated agreement by not making the kids go with relative.
Has anyone dealt with this type of situation, and who would expect children to be forced to go with anyone other than a parent.
Oh, stbx reason is she now works at a bar till 4 a.m. and thats why she cant make it to get kids. I said well then we need a different visitation schedule which she refuses.

STBX has cancelled EOW visits 3 times in a row . STBX did not contact me to say was not coming, I had foresight to check with her atty day of travel. This is an interstate visit where children travel hundreds of miles.
This weekend is again her's to visit. Her atty contacts mine today and demands that STBX keep children until Tuesday night, as Mon & Tues school is out. STBX consistently refuses to engage in any conversation about schedule, children , anything, stock answer is "talk to my lawyer". I made plans weeks ago  to take Mon off work to spend with children ( remember STBX never will discuss things, so impossible to include her input in anything).  To blow off 3 visits in a row with 0 notice, then with less than 48 hrs notice expect to change visitation schedule is both inconsiderate and unreasonable. The CP must plan and schedule work, days off, events for children well in advance in order to provide stability to young children. STBX cliams to be unemployed, a full time student
 ( is over 30 yrs old), lives free with relatives and has yet to pay 1 penny of support.
I have said no to extra days  in this instance, and asked ( again) for timely communication  in the future pertaining to children and scheduling.
 Does this seem reasonable or not ??

I was able to get a judge to modify visitation location closer to our city ( now only 2 hour ride 1 way) on Friday. Still have to travel 3 1/2 hours each way to pick up children on Sundays.
Problem is stbx, has been refusing to physically get the children at the meet spot and sends  a relative of hers that she brings. The relative has been very active in alienating the children on an ongoing basis.
stbx and myself are the only parties to the order and the order specifies that "the parties shall meet at X location at X time to exchange the children". My question is if stbx does not come and sends a relative OR if stbx refuses to get out of car to make a 30 second exchange, am I correct that I do not have to release the children to anyone but stbx, and would be justified in not doing so unless I at least see that stbx is present at the exchange?

After the 3rd custody trial in just under 2 yrs, Judge kept primary physical with me, as in the prior two.

Gave ex EOW visitation ( mainly due to my moving closer to her residence) and allowed ex joint legal saying it appeared she was trying to get her life in order.
In keeping primary physical with me, he made some ( according to my Atty, hardly any Judge in Va ever says this to a father) pretty amazing comment's " on the record", he said:

 " the father has done everything the court has asked him to do, everything a father should do,and he is to be commended for it",

he then reviewed the 10 factors that must be considered and said I have "well attended to all the childrens needs". He also commented on her bad decisions, citing her having a baby "out of wedlock" recently.

Ex had her new husband testify ( she was pregnant during divorce trial and thought we didn't know until we proved it  during previous  trial), and  he obviously hadn't told ex or  her Atty about his prior criminal convictions for DWI, etc. My Atty brought the charges out, got him to admit to still drinking and smoking as well.

In final order JUdge said no one is to drink alcohol, or smoke in prescence of children, and that if new husband interferes in exchange of children, or if ex's family causes any drama, if there are any recurring issues in that regard he will not hesitate to terminate visitation.

On the joint legal, my atty felt Judge was doing that in an attempt to allow ex to now show  she can demonstrate  her claims for cooperation and communication ( both severely lacking  in past 2 yrs that I have had the children), since she was trying for sole legal and physical.

Unfortunetly, I  don't think this is the last time we'll be in court, but  ex  is running out of credibility with the system, that's for sure.

I have sole physical & legal of our 2 children, in final decree X was ordered to pick up her remaining things by certain date. Well she is 7 months pregnant ( was 5 mos at divorce trial), so X wanted to get things this weekend AND wanted judge to order that she and her boyfriend enter my residence. X still has  her atty. I wrote my own opposition motion and went before judge. I succeeeded in keeping her out of the house, as I told judge that I had moved all items into the garage, therefore no reason to enter the house, he agreed that she hired movers that were not friends or family members and they would serve as neutral third parties. I tried to get judge to not allow x in garage since she had movers and they have the list of items in decree, but he did not agree to that, said he would allow her in garage.
X used pregnancy as reason it had to be THIS weekend, her atty said her Dr says she can't travel after Monday. I asked judge to see proof of a Dr letter but he accepted her atty's proffer.
My point here is  that you can succeeed pro se, but it is very hard, if it is a complicated issue, your at a disadvantage, as just as in this case the Judge gives a certain amount of automatic credibility to a lawyer, that you as pro se do not get. I guarantee that if I had used a medical excuse for X to not get things this weekend that I would have had to show proof.
That said, I did succeeed in keeping X out of the house, so it was a victory.
The post divorce crap is almost worse than pre divorce, don't be lulled into complacency right after your final order, as there is more to come............remain diligent and keep documenting everything...never know when you'll need it.

I have sole physical & legal of 4 & 7 yr old. X has once a month visitation ( lives in another state). Order allows for nightly phone calls between 7 & 8 p.m. X has taken to calling closer to 8 then to 7,and then wants to keep kids on for 15 minutes or more.
Keep in mind these are 4 and 7 year olds and our house rules are  after dinner( generally 7 to 7:30, as I work and then cook each night  so we eat as a family(after get them from daycare) after dinner is homework for my 2nd grader, then baths at 8 and in bed by 8:30.
When X is on phone close to 8, for 10 minutes or more already, I ask her to respect the childrens schedule and end the call ( she can call earlier ,and can call nightly so that 1 call is not critical) her response is
" it's not my problem, I am allowed to talk to my children". My issue is not x being allowed to talk, but to respect that the children ( especially at 4 and 7) have schedules and need consistency.I as the only parent raising them have a schedule too, I need time to do dishes,laundry,clean up the house, etc all after the kids get to bed.
All I am asking , is what I think is very reasonable...which is to either call earlier, or to keep the calls short when X knows that homework still needs to be done.
I think she is doing it to make me look like the bad guy in telling the kids that they need to get off the phone.......IE: making them feel I am trying to prevent communication.

X seems to think that because she is allowed  to call each night, that she is also allowed to talk as long as she wants, regardless of what the children may need to do, especially as it approaches bath and bedtime.
I feel that 10 minutes is fair enough ( long as she wants on weekends)......what do you all do about this type of thing?

As previously posted I won sole legal and physical custody 2 weeks ago. X now has once a month visitation ( lives in another state by choice), she came to divorce court 5 months pregnant, brought boyfriend.
On her 1st weekend , she when I was putting kids in car, she tried to put 5 trashbags ( said they had the kids toys and clothes, but who knows what was in them ?) in my car. She said that since she only see's them once a month that she didn't need them anymore.All thius in front of the children of course.
I took bags out of the car and told X that I would not accept anything from her, especially in this way, and took my kids and left.

My question is, has anyone else had something like this occur?
I think it is absolutely insane behavior, clearly X is trying to erase our children to make way for her "replacement " family....very unstable behavior.
Opinions, comments ?????