Dear Socrateaser,
I am in some need of some advise. Here is some background information on my case...
In March of 2003 I was raped. I did not file any reports to anyone. At the time my ex was stationed overseas. He returned home after I had told him about it.
In May of 2003 I ended up in the hospital for a drug overdose because I was trying to kill myself because my ex said he was going to divorce me. I was then put into a mental ward for evaluation. During this time my ex had divorce papers drawn up. I was released from the ward only because my ex was bringing me home to parents (they live in AZ). Before my ex would bring me home he made me sign paper work that gave him custody of our son. At the time I was under a doctors supervision and was on medication.
At the end of May my ex traveled with me, my daughter from a previous relationship, and our son to Arizona. He left soon after dropping me and my daughter off on my parents doorstep to go back to Florida where he is stationed.
Our divorce became final in May of 2004. During this time I was seeing a therapist to help me deal with what was happening. I was not seeing another person at the time either. My ex though, was involved with our son's daycare provider who was in the process of getting a divorce herself. They later got married in October of 2004.
Up until my ex's marriage communication between the two of us was hard. Phone visitations with my son were at his convence. Physical visitation was available but I could not afford to visit him as often as I would have liked to. So I tried to increase my phone calls to make up for it. My ex and I only communicated through email. He would not speak to me on the phone because he said there would be no proof of what was said.
Our divorce and Child Custody and Support is through the state of Florida. I am no longer a resident of the state of Florida but of Arizona. Up until recent events concerning my ex's current spouse I have pretty much agreed to everything. I have had no lawyer (could not afford one) and he has had a lawyer.
The last time I have saw my son was in July of 2005. I recieved a court order from the state of Florida saying that he was in state custody because of abuse aligations against his step-mother and the fact that the ex did not adhere to the no contact order. So I sold my car, asked my family to watch my daughter, and flew to florida just to find out there was nothing I could do. I was allocated a one hour supervisied vist with my son and nothing more.
My son has since been returned to my ex and the ex's spouse lives in another home but comes to my son's home to do all the household chores and cooks the meals but is supposedly gone before my son comes home. She is currently waiting to be sentenced.
Now last year (2006) an Order of Modification was sent to the courts. In the order Custody is to be modicied from Shared Parental to the ex having Sole Physical yet I retain joint Legal. Also child support was order (I do not mind paying as this is my son). And Visitations would be changed from Normal Visitations to allowing me three weeks to be split between Spring Break, Summer, and Christmas. Now my son has been seeing a therapist since the abuse was first founded and in the new order it states that the visitations may increase up to a total of 30 days per year once his therapist indicates that he is comfortable with spending this extra time with his mother (me).
Now for the help I need...
This Order is still pending. I have not been allowed to talk to my son since my last visit. I tried to get ahold of my son's doctor's and school to get copies of all his records. To no avail.
I recently remarried and gained custody of my oldest ( long story there) and now have the means to try to retain an attorny, but the attorny would be through the military.
As of right now I do not know what to do. I do know that I do not want to take my son away from his father but I do not want to be denied my visitations with my son any longer. I pay my child support on time every month. I am also paying for health exspenses that were incurred and I am sharing the cost of child care. I send him letters and cards as often as possible. Other than what I am doing I do not know what else to do.
Can you please advise me on the best course of action I should take?
Thank you,
Alisa
I am in some need of some advise. Here is some background information on my case...
In March of 2003 I was raped. I did not file any reports to anyone. At the time my ex was stationed overseas. He returned home after I had told him about it.
In May of 2003 I ended up in the hospital for a drug overdose because I was trying to kill myself because my ex said he was going to divorce me. I was then put into a mental ward for evaluation. During this time my ex had divorce papers drawn up. I was released from the ward only because my ex was bringing me home to parents (they live in AZ). Before my ex would bring me home he made me sign paper work that gave him custody of our son. At the time I was under a doctors supervision and was on medication.
At the end of May my ex traveled with me, my daughter from a previous relationship, and our son to Arizona. He left soon after dropping me and my daughter off on my parents doorstep to go back to Florida where he is stationed.
Our divorce became final in May of 2004. During this time I was seeing a therapist to help me deal with what was happening. I was not seeing another person at the time either. My ex though, was involved with our son's daycare provider who was in the process of getting a divorce herself. They later got married in October of 2004.
Up until my ex's marriage communication between the two of us was hard. Phone visitations with my son were at his convence. Physical visitation was available but I could not afford to visit him as often as I would have liked to. So I tried to increase my phone calls to make up for it. My ex and I only communicated through email. He would not speak to me on the phone because he said there would be no proof of what was said.
Our divorce and Child Custody and Support is through the state of Florida. I am no longer a resident of the state of Florida but of Arizona. Up until recent events concerning my ex's current spouse I have pretty much agreed to everything. I have had no lawyer (could not afford one) and he has had a lawyer.
The last time I have saw my son was in July of 2005. I recieved a court order from the state of Florida saying that he was in state custody because of abuse aligations against his step-mother and the fact that the ex did not adhere to the no contact order. So I sold my car, asked my family to watch my daughter, and flew to florida just to find out there was nothing I could do. I was allocated a one hour supervisied vist with my son and nothing more.
My son has since been returned to my ex and the ex's spouse lives in another home but comes to my son's home to do all the household chores and cooks the meals but is supposedly gone before my son comes home. She is currently waiting to be sentenced.
Now last year (2006) an Order of Modification was sent to the courts. In the order Custody is to be modicied from Shared Parental to the ex having Sole Physical yet I retain joint Legal. Also child support was order (I do not mind paying as this is my son). And Visitations would be changed from Normal Visitations to allowing me three weeks to be split between Spring Break, Summer, and Christmas. Now my son has been seeing a therapist since the abuse was first founded and in the new order it states that the visitations may increase up to a total of 30 days per year once his therapist indicates that he is comfortable with spending this extra time with his mother (me).
Now for the help I need...
This Order is still pending. I have not been allowed to talk to my son since my last visit. I tried to get ahold of my son's doctor's and school to get copies of all his records. To no avail.
I recently remarried and gained custody of my oldest ( long story there) and now have the means to try to retain an attorny, but the attorny would be through the military.
As of right now I do not know what to do. I do know that I do not want to take my son away from his father but I do not want to be denied my visitations with my son any longer. I pay my child support on time every month. I am also paying for health exspenses that were incurred and I am sharing the cost of child care. I send him letters and cards as often as possible. Other than what I am doing I do not know what else to do.
Can you please advise me on the best course of action I should take?
Thank you,
Alisa