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Topics - knoot7

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OK this is in NY. No child support is exchanged - old order stated 50/50 no child support. Claim SS on taxes is every other year.

SS has lived with us full time for the last two years. Last October and June there has been CPS reports and pending child endangerment cases on BM. Investigations go back three years for BM and alcohol abuse with CPS. We convinced BM to voluntarily (with a little encouragement and facts) to "give up" SS to live with us during the school year so he could get to school. He excessively missed school only on her days while the order was 50/50. BM has no car, lived 45 minute car ride to school, the bus took 1.5 hours one way, so he would miss school. This summer 50/50 did not return as the norm, SS lived with us 100% due to BM's alcohol abuse.

Current order - SS lives with us full time, EOWkend at BMs if she can pick him up and he wants to go. Yes order states SS wants and needs are to be considered and wishes are abided by. BM can't have Ex Hubby there, BM can't drink.

Support was not a ruling in the last court order. Support and visiation/custody are handled by two different orders in NY.

BM has been unemployed by choice for the last two years. She lives off of her on and off again husband and any man she can when she isn't with her husband. She can find money to support her habits - drinking and smoking, but she can not find money for her son.

Last year BM paid a total of $40 to support SS - this was for his year book and his 8th grade graduation gown. NOTHING else was paid, no shared expenses etc. We pay all medical, grooming, clothes, food, and anything els ehe needs.

In September I had asked BM for $20 a week for SS. That she could give $40 every other week when he is there for his lunches and snacks. She said yes. Lied once to say it was sent in the mail and essentially stopped talking to SS and us because she didn't send anything. Calls SS once a week now compared to 5 times a day it use to be. Anyway - she hasn't paid a dime. I know she doesn't have a dime...but this is HER choice not to work! PLUS just because  she doens't have anything why should she get out of supporting her son all together?

Attorney says let it be. I say why does she get off scott free and not support HER son?

Thoughts on obtaining support?


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Father's Issues / do we say something to CPS?
« on: Jun 19, 2008, 10:18:45 AM »
There is a current investigation by CPS of BM and her drinking and domestic violence. Currently CPS told DH that if son goes to mom - he is liable for him and what transpires at mom's house.  Son is not going to mom's house, DH suspended visitation and DH filed this with the courts stating two different county CPS told us he is endangered and we would be investigated if we sent son there. Also added to the files of the court system that  if visitation is awarded again -  we want overnights suspended indefintely.

Son's middle school graduation was last night - BM was there supporting son, BUT she was trashed...meaning drunk. Do we say something to CPS about this? She does not drive (I am assuming she no longer has a license)...she was with her brother and nephews...and her daughter.... Son as stated before, is living with father and has been the past school year. The schedule was suppose to go back to 50/50 once school is over...again this isn't happening until the court orders us to.

DO we tell the social worker that BM was trashed again? We have a voice mail from BM a hour after we saw her (she left at 8:15 - she called at 9:30- her car ride is about 40 minutes)...anyway in her message she was slurring... not sure if this would be proof or not?

Thoughts?

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OK the facts:
Both parents share physical and legal custody - 50/50. Father gets more time if requested, sometimes not requested... M ,T, mother/ W, Th father - alternate F,S,Su - therefore 5 days one week 2 days the next week...been that way for 9 years court and mediation specific. 10 years ago the schedule was 4 days one week, 3 the next for both parents.

past year  - son had 17 days absent, 9 days late on mothers time, Son had 2 days late for fathers time, no absences. Mothers absence been increasing over years ..documented by school and father. Mother moved and has relationship problems with her DH, on and off for 7 years. more than 20 times moved in 6 years. Father has a wife of five  years and new child (2 years old) 2 moves since the divorce was final.

father sent request for son to be with him during school week. cordial, just the facts, no name calling. mother recieved letter- called mid evening to communicate son's abilty to access a phone, prior son had no means of communication. Once son went to bed, mother calls father, says she had custody now and will keep custody until a family court hearing.Father is to pick him up after work tomorrow. Mother said don't bother, bring the cops, won't be there. Mother has off from work, does not have a car and just started to work two weeks ago...so not alot of money.

Threat is on voice mail - therefore recorded.

Father freaking out -

Doesn't this mean that mother just hung herself and will not get custody or unsupervised visitation? Mother and Father both in new york. Mother and Father could usually agree - father taking more responsibility. The communication was just that a request. no court documents filed, no petitions presented. Just a maticulously explained and thought out request to avoid wasting courts time.

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