To make a long story short (or as short as possible)...
Divorced almost 13 years ago - my son was almost 3. Messy divorce, took two years - I got sole custody. X did not visit much in the first couple of years - his parents came for my son - until my son (3) told me "grandma says my mommy doesn't love me". I then went back to court and had the order changed so that if he was not seeing his father, he was not going on visits - his parents were using his access as if it were theirs.
Life went on and X did after a couple of years start picking up my son regularly himself, every other weekend (he lives 4 hours away). When my son was 11, I had RCMP and Social Services at my door requesting to speak to my son alone. X was alleging "abuse". They reported that all was fine. X did not take that for an answer and hounded the RCMP daily until someone would listen. He finally found a young, new gullible officer that was going to HELP.
I sent my son for his weekend visit, gave him a hug and a kiss. I went away overnight, and came home the next day to find a paper in my door from Social Services that my son was in their custody.
He was taken to his dad's, but legally I found out that his father (who lives in a different province) was not allowed to take him out of the province if he was in the custody of Social Services in this province, so he was told he had to bring him back. CONVENIENTLY, X's mother is a FOSTER PARENT living in this province, so my son got placed with HER (the grandma that says his mom doesn't love him).
Long story short, he took my son that night to the RCMP and told him to tell them that I BEAT him regularly (my son even told the officer that "on the way here my dad told me to say.....", but the officer LET IT SLIDE!!!! He asked my son "did he tell you what to say?", and my son immediately said "oh - no".
Hence, charged with assault, after four months, no contact with my son, no phone calls, no visits, NOTHING, $12,000 later in legal fees, I was acquitted. Social Services still would not let me have so much as a visit even then!!! They agreed that they were caught in the middle of a custody battle, but didn't know what to do about it.
My son was telling them that he was scared of me and didn't want to see me - each interview (only two in six months) with the SS people - were conducted IN FRONT OF GRANDMA AND DAD.
We settled on joint custody, he lives with his dad, i get access every other weekend, every other X-mas, holidays, etc. OR DO I?
So in the first two years, I saw my son twice - each time I went to pick him up no one was there. I finally gave up. I saw him once for a few minutes in front of his house, and that was over two years ago - I have not seen him since. He has not phoned me once in four years, until about a month ago when he called to thank me for a gift I sent. I believe he has not recieved money or gifts I have sent all this time. He is now 15, and I believe he is spending more time at home alone and actually checking the mail box himself. I have since sent him a cell phone - he said he told his dad about it and it was fine, but it is always shut off - he checks his txt messages once every few days and calls me back when there is no one there. This tells me he hasn't told his dad about the phone and keeps it shut off so that it wont ring and they will find out about it.
I can't see any point in going back to court now, as at 15, they have the right to decide where they want to live, and with the brainwashing that has gone on for him and the pressure he has been under to hate his mother since the age of 3 (and even more for the last 4 years), he would never say he wanted to come back to me, I'm sure.
My heart breaks every day for the loss of the son that I was so close to for 11 years, and the hurt that he caused me, although I have to try very hard not to blame him for what he did - he was only doing what he was told to do. I have never had a chance to even talk to him about what happened or his feelings for me (or his younger sister that is still with me).
I am at the end of my rope and tired of crying each time I even think of my own son. Nothing can bring back my boy that I lost four years ago, but I still want to know the boy he has become. WHAT TO DO??? WHERE TO BEGIN??? ANY RESOURCES IN CANADA?
Divorced almost 13 years ago - my son was almost 3. Messy divorce, took two years - I got sole custody. X did not visit much in the first couple of years - his parents came for my son - until my son (3) told me "grandma says my mommy doesn't love me". I then went back to court and had the order changed so that if he was not seeing his father, he was not going on visits - his parents were using his access as if it were theirs.
Life went on and X did after a couple of years start picking up my son regularly himself, every other weekend (he lives 4 hours away). When my son was 11, I had RCMP and Social Services at my door requesting to speak to my son alone. X was alleging "abuse". They reported that all was fine. X did not take that for an answer and hounded the RCMP daily until someone would listen. He finally found a young, new gullible officer that was going to HELP.
I sent my son for his weekend visit, gave him a hug and a kiss. I went away overnight, and came home the next day to find a paper in my door from Social Services that my son was in their custody.
He was taken to his dad's, but legally I found out that his father (who lives in a different province) was not allowed to take him out of the province if he was in the custody of Social Services in this province, so he was told he had to bring him back. CONVENIENTLY, X's mother is a FOSTER PARENT living in this province, so my son got placed with HER (the grandma that says his mom doesn't love him).
Long story short, he took my son that night to the RCMP and told him to tell them that I BEAT him regularly (my son even told the officer that "on the way here my dad told me to say.....", but the officer LET IT SLIDE!!!! He asked my son "did he tell you what to say?", and my son immediately said "oh - no".
Hence, charged with assault, after four months, no contact with my son, no phone calls, no visits, NOTHING, $12,000 later in legal fees, I was acquitted. Social Services still would not let me have so much as a visit even then!!! They agreed that they were caught in the middle of a custody battle, but didn't know what to do about it.
My son was telling them that he was scared of me and didn't want to see me - each interview (only two in six months) with the SS people - were conducted IN FRONT OF GRANDMA AND DAD.
We settled on joint custody, he lives with his dad, i get access every other weekend, every other X-mas, holidays, etc. OR DO I?
So in the first two years, I saw my son twice - each time I went to pick him up no one was there. I finally gave up. I saw him once for a few minutes in front of his house, and that was over two years ago - I have not seen him since. He has not phoned me once in four years, until about a month ago when he called to thank me for a gift I sent. I believe he has not recieved money or gifts I have sent all this time. He is now 15, and I believe he is spending more time at home alone and actually checking the mail box himself. I have since sent him a cell phone - he said he told his dad about it and it was fine, but it is always shut off - he checks his txt messages once every few days and calls me back when there is no one there. This tells me he hasn't told his dad about the phone and keeps it shut off so that it wont ring and they will find out about it.
I can't see any point in going back to court now, as at 15, they have the right to decide where they want to live, and with the brainwashing that has gone on for him and the pressure he has been under to hate his mother since the age of 3 (and even more for the last 4 years), he would never say he wanted to come back to me, I'm sure.
My heart breaks every day for the loss of the son that I was so close to for 11 years, and the hurt that he caused me, although I have to try very hard not to blame him for what he did - he was only doing what he was told to do. I have never had a chance to even talk to him about what happened or his feelings for me (or his younger sister that is still with me).
I am at the end of my rope and tired of crying each time I even think of my own son. Nothing can bring back my boy that I lost four years ago, but I still want to know the boy he has become. WHAT TO DO??? WHERE TO BEGIN??? ANY RESOURCES IN CANADA?