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Oregon State Forum / Child Support website
« on: Feb 26, 2004, 11:52:01 PM »
Just browsing a bit, I found summaries of new child support legislation at the following:


Thought they were interesting (at least some of them.)  The DCS website also gives information on the new guidelines put into effect last May.  I've kind of avoided this site for the past several months, because I am so tired of it all.... so maybe it's old news to everyone else.  I had heard there were new guidelines, but assumed it meant more bad news for NCPs.  I was pretty stoked to find out that they now take into account the amount of parenting time NCPs have, if more than 20% (was previously 35%)  My husband's original parenting plan puts him at 23%--and it actually makes a pretty big difference for us.  Can't wait to modify CS......

Child Support Issues / CSD vent
« on: Dec 11, 2004, 03:55:46 PM »
OK, so a few months ago, caseworker called my husband completely out of the blue, because she noticed he was not paying the ordered amount.  Well, duh!  The ordered amount was way more than it should have been and we could not afford it (a whole other story I have already shared here.)  So caseworker offered to send a modification form.  Wahoo :)  We filled it out and sent it in as soon as we had a new parenting plan signed (adding 92 overnights.)  Then we sat back and waited and waited and waited.

Finally on Monday we received a copy of the modified amount.  It went down almost $200 month.  What a relief!!  But as I looked more closely at the paperwork, I noticed caseworker calculated CS based on 62 overnights instead of 92--makes a difference of about $80/month.  So frustrating.  Where do these people come up with these numbers?!?  It's not worth us trying to rock the boat to save that extra $80, but they'll hear about it if BM appeals.....

Child Support Issues / A vent about CSD....
« on: Sep 15, 2004, 03:20:02 PM »
For various reasons, we attempted to have CS modified about 18 months ago--wasn't finalized until exactly a year ago.  CSD did their own thing and decided the amount shouldn't change, we couldn't afford an attorney to appeal, etc. etc.  So we left it there.

My husband is a full-time student.  We live on financial aid and my small income from child care.  So, our CS payments have been very irregular in the past few years.  (Quite frankly, because of our income and our children, our tax return is only about $1200 less than a year of CS--so even IF we paid nothing all year, we wouldn't get TOO far behind.)

We have been trying the past several months to speak with a caseworker about arrears and set something up to begin paying them off, and to avoid other actions by CSD.  We've sent letters, emails, and phone calls and had absolutely no response by the state people or by the county DA who officially does the enforcement.

So, yesterday my husband got a voice message from some new caseworker in the DAs office saying something to the effect of we obviously can't afford the ordered amount, and haven't been making regular payments, would we like to go through the process to have the amount lowered?  What?!?  (State law says you can only ask for a modification every two years, or if there is a significant change of circumstances.)  My husband's theory is that she thinks he is a woman, because his name can go either way.  But, hey, we'll call her back and see what happens!

BTW, I have to add that when we met, my husband was almost obsessive about paying CS.  When he made extra money in his own business, much of it went to his daughters and BM.  Since he has not had visitation in over 2 years now (BMs false accusations), and since BMs attorney costs for the trial to take the children away equaled a whole year of CS, and since BM subsequently tried to raise CS since my husband was not "exercising" visitation, and for many more reasons I am sure many of you also experience, my husband's desire to pay CS has diminished greatly!  He still wants to fulfill his responsibility, but just not with the same vigor and vim, I suppose.

Child Support Issues / What am I missing?!? (long)
« on: May 26, 2004, 11:09:09 PM »
We have requested payment records from CSD a few times in the past and have copies of their records through May 2004.  In the past, I have just looked through the payments to make sure all that we had record of were listed on their records.  Then I looked at the bottom of the summary sheet to see the total amounts billed, paid, and owed.

Well, today we got a statement/June bill for CS, and the arrears amount was nowhere near what I had calculated.  So I sat down and started looking at the papers again.  I AM SO CONFUSED!!

There are columns for "amt sup billed" "amt sup recd" "diff btwn recd/paid" "amt sup paid" and "date."  They are listed in chronological order--more or less--and after each year there is listed a Year Total and Case Total for each of the above columns.

OK.  So first of all, I am wondering why there is a difference between amount recieved and amount paid?  I understand that they can charge interest on arrears, but NONE of our monthly statements have indicated any interest charged or any other fees, and yet for the case the total is $277.80.

Secondly, I noticed that the numbers on the summary sheet are different from the numbers listed in the above-mentioned columns.  i.e. the Case Total listed on every page is different from the total amounts listed on the last page.

Thirdly, I took the numbers CSD provided for "amount billed" and "amount paid" for each year, totalled them up, and came up with completely different numbers than either the case totals or the last page totals.

Fourthly, when I look at the differences between the Case Totals and the totals on the summary sheet, the gap is increasing--in February 2003 the "amt billed" was off by $1804 in May 2004 it was off $3202; in February 2003 the "amt paid" was off by $266.15 in May 2004 it was $1410.92.

What am I missing??  I WILL be calling/writing CSD soon (they also did not record a pretty hefty payment from last month--seized from our account, so it's not as if the check got lost in the mail.)  But I was wondering if ya'll had some explanations for this complete nonsense??

Maybe if the numbers were off a few dollars, or even a few hundred... but we are talking a few thousand--and almost $1300 difference in what I calculated my husband owes in arrears--which of course is the key figure right now.

Thanks in advance for any and all suggestions.

Child Support Issues / Annoying notices....
« on: Mar 10, 2004, 09:34:05 PM »
A few weeks ago, we received notice from Support Enforcement saying they were going to suspend my husband's license.  This was just a few days AFTER we received notice from the IRS that a good portion of our tax refund was going to support arrears.  We tried contacting CSE (email and phone) several times to discuss options to avoid suspension.  My husband never talked to a real person.  Caseworker called our house once, I gave her my husband's cell number, but she never called him....

A week or two after CSE's notice, we received the DMV notice stating suspension would be in effect last Saturday (3/6/04) at 12:01 am.  Today we got a Notice to Reinstate License from CSE--dated 3/8/04.  We assume it is because the tax return finally found it's way there.  How frustrating!!

Relieved that we can reinstate the license, but very annoyed that we have to pay an extra $75 to do so, because the federal and state and county agencies couldn't get things figured out together.

(Even more annoyed that the CS guidelines are so out of whack that my husband is ordered to pay an unreasonable amount in the first place.)

Shrink Rap / A rock and a hard place
« on: Jan 04, 2004, 02:45:10 AM »
Background: July 2002, BM picked up SDs (now ages 11 and 9) for her weekend visit during our 4-week summer visit, and did not return him.  BM did not allow SDs to speak with my husband at all; she refused visitation; and then she took my husband to court under accusations of child abuse.

Judge ordered in October 2002 that visitation stop until 1. Husband took anger management 2. Husband and SDs participated in joint counseling 3. Husband, SDs counselor, and BM agreed it was OK to proceed with supervised visits. (This was something our attorney told us only happened in very severe cases of abuse--what BM accused my husband of should not have warranted such a judgment even if it was true.)

We decided to just do what needs to be done to restore contact with SDs. (Side note: The order did not say anything about other contact with SDs--only no parenting time.  Despite that, and against the suggestions of the counselor she chose, BM has not allowed any contact whatsoever since March 2003.)  My husband finished Anger Management in June 2003.  We have been trying since then to get joint counseling set up.  

I am posting now because we have been very dissatisfied thus far with the counseling center chosen by BM, but again, we didn't feel it was worth it to battle BM over changing counseling centers.  Here are our main concerns: 1. Original counselor testified in court that SDs were not lying about abuse, but in records we received right after the hearing, she had recorded OSD admitted to lying.  2. There was no effort to gain the entire picture--the center seemed to take BM completely at her word, including some plain old, bald face, easy-to-disprove lies.  There was no consideration that abuse may be taking place at BMs house or that SDs are victims of PAS.

My husband spoke to a counselor in December 2003 and her that he did not abuse his daughters, and did not want to "play along" with that idea just to get through counseling.  According to my husband, she did not take it well.  Therein lies my primary concern--our dilemma.  My husband cannot lie in counseling--say what the counselor wants to hear--then his daughters will forever believe that he actually abused them, which he DID NOT!  But, if he continues to deny the abuse, who is going to believe him now?  (Another side note: Neither the police nor CSD found anything even worth investigating, and no charges were ever brought against my husband.) If the counselor did not recognize the possibility of PAS 18 months ago, how can my husband change that?  And how will he ever be able to have normal parenting time with his daughters again?

Sorry this is long, tried to cut it down, but I'm just long-winded.  I guess my primary question is how can my husband best go about joint counseling with SDs?  Given previous history, would it be worth it to find another counselor--of course going through a huge battle with BM, and delaying the counseling even more? (Plus we are two hours away from BM--difficult to find a good counselor long-distance.)

I personally am glad that my husband has this opportunity for counseling--he and his SDs will surely need it after what BM has done the past year and a half especially.  I am just concerned that the counseling will not focus on the true problems that have caused the so-called "rift in the relationship" because of what BM has told counselors.

Dear Socrateaser / Parenting Plan vs. State Law in Oregon
« on: Jul 06, 2008, 01:35:57 AM »
I am planning on moving 110 miles from my current home (and about 100 miles from my ex) in order to attend grad school.  Our parenting plan states that I must give 20 days notice if I intend to move more than 60 miles.  I have informed my ex of my intention to go to school, but don't have housing set up yet and so have not given him an address (with about 40 days until school starts--yeah, I'm stressing out--still don't have my financial aid.)  I have not kept him in the dark, I just don't have any info myself and may end up having to defer my enrollment another year.

But now he is pushing the issue and telling me that state law requires I give 90 days notice if I move more than 90 miles.  (He graduated from law school, at the same school I will hopefully be attending, last year, so he likes to throw stuff out there, but I know from experience that he also makes stuff up to sound good and get his way.)  He says state law trumps the parenting plan, but I always thought it was the opposite.  How can I be expected to follow the requirements of an unknown state law when my parenting plan very clearly lays out other standards?  Is he right or am I?

By the way, I have been considering this for almost the whole year and a half since our divorce--we will be moving back to the community where my kids spent the bulk of their lives (while their dad was in school), and since they only see their dad EOW, I don't anticipate too great of an impact on his time.  My ex moved 260 miles from his older daughters in order to go to school, and now he's making an issue of this--plus there's the fact that he moved away first and was just fine with the added travel time.  We just moved up here a few months later to be with my family and to heal.

Dear Socrateaser / Just a little thing....
« on: Mar 26, 2008, 04:50:46 PM »
My divorce decree requires that my ex have a life insurance policy with the children listed as beneficiaries.  I know that he cancelled the one he had while we were married, and I have serious doubts that he is currently covered--he refuses to give me any kind of proof.  Is there some way to compel him to provide the info without actually having to go to court?  He insists that the policy is safe with Wife #4, who I have never met.

Dear Socrateaser / Just a little thing
« on: Jun 19, 2007, 09:11:28 PM »
It seems that every week I have some different thing that I obsess over....

This week it is the clause in our divorce decree that requires my ex-husband to carry life insurance for the benefit of the children.  At the time it was written, my husband had a policy in the specified amount, but with me listed as the beneficiary.  I know that has changed, since he remarried less than a month later, and I am fairly certain he cancelled the policy altogether.

Is there any way I can compel him to provide proof of life insurance (without going to court)?  He is a high-risk type of person, and I would like to make sure my kids are taken care of if he kills himself jumping out of a plane or driving his truck or walking across the street.  (I just spent the last 5 years putting him through school--yeah, he dumped me in his last semester of law school--so I don't have a lot of resources right now.)

Dear Socrateaser / Attorney headaches
« on: Mar 16, 2006, 03:57:41 PM »
BM refused visits with my daughters (now ages 13 and 11) since March 2005.  We hired an attorney in September 2005, after numerous attempts to work things out outside of court.  He did not file a motion until February 2006--that was after some months of frustration and phone calls (and a few threats) from me.  But finally, a court date was set for the end of March.

Yesterday the attorney's assistant called to tell me that BMs attorney was requesting a postponement of the hearing, and strongly urged me not to fight it because BM would win anyway and it would just cost us more attorney's fees.

Today my attorney sent me a copy of BMs attorney's motion to postpone.  In it, BMs attorney had contacted my attorney a week ago, with no response from him or his office.  Also, included in the affadavit was argument that the hearing can easily be postponed because I have waited a year to do anything, so waiting longer won't matter.

I have felt for several months that my attorney has not properly represented me, but we stayed with him because 1. We did not want to further delay the hearing, 2. We have really liked his ideas and arguments for our case, and 3. He has been extremely patient in our payment arrangements.

1. How will switching attorneys at this point affect the hearing?  A new date has not been set yet.

2.  I have considered representing myself--I'm a 2nd year law student.  How might this be viewed by the judge?  (We will have the same judge who ordered visitation stopped 3 1/2 years ago--she didn't like me much.)

3. Do I have a reasonable case to sue for malpractice, since BMs attorney is already using the delay and inaction to her advantage?  Should I wait to see how the hearing goes--cross our fingers and hope our attorney is not too busy to show up--or just get rid of him now?

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