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So my almost 12 yr old daughter hasnt seen her father since this last June... he is CA on "vacation".  Im not sure what from since he owes almost $23,000 in back support.  pretty sure he grows and sells drugs- but not 100% sure on that.
Anyways- he has left for several months at a time a few times before this.  He took her to the corner by the walmart in our town to ask for spare change (or pan handling as he calls it), his friend them both matching necklaces- made out of help for the necklace part and a blown glass pipe- yes for smoking weed with...and she brought it home and was so embarrassed to show me.

My question is this... should i allow him to visit with her when and if he comes back?  How do i explain to her i do not want her alone with him?  he doesnt have a drivers license because of lack of paying support- do i allow him to drive with her- what will happen?

So my husband (of almost 7 yrs) has had custody of his twins (12) for 8-ish years now.  They have known me and my daughter( almost 12 also) since they were all about 3yrs old.  I am having a VERY hard time with respect from my 12 yr old step son.  they visit their mom everyother weekend.  he doesnt seem to want to do anything i ask of him.  He actually told me that doing dishes is what the girls are to do.  He doesnt want to help with any chores- even tho both girls help even when they dont want to.  I have taken away all his privliages from him, and told him he earns them back as he does what hes told and can respect the adults in this house.  but he doesnt seem to care at all... their dad works 10 hour days 5 days a week- and isnt much help. i can NOT and will NOT ignore the situation...

PLEASE help me!

To make a long story short:  My husband gained custody of his twins about 7 yrs ago.  They are now 11 yrs old.  We moved to mankato in sept of 07.  it moved the kids about 100 miles from their mom.  we told her that we would drive 2/3 of the way on her weekends.  sometimes farther if we could do it.  within the past 2 weeks- she has moved 30 miles closer to us.  so we asked her to meet 1/2 way now.  (which is only 14 miles of a difference for her).  she threw a fit!  she has been calling the kids' father a stupid A$$ hole TO  the kids (not just in front of but TO).  she told them she wasnt going to pay for a mothers day gift from them for their "step B!tch" (me and also said that TO the kids).  Then asks the daughter if that hurts her feelings that she talks about us like that.... daughter said no it doesnt cuz (as the daughter states) shes afraid mom will start yelling and be mad at them.  the son- goes to her house and tells mom things (truths and lies) and told me that he does that so that she is "nicer" to him.  
Those are a few of the most recent issues.  she sends them home in clothes that are 2 sizes too small, she used to make them sleep together in the same bed- up until about a month ago.  when my hubby first asked her about it- she told the kids to lie(they did in fear of what she might say or do).  then we found out later on that she did that, and he once again confronted her. it finally stopped and then she moved.  
We are just sick of her and her crap.  it is so unhealthy for the kids to hear and see this kind of behavior.
is there anything we can do?

To make a long story short: My husband gained custody of his twins about 7 yrs ago. They are now 11 yrs old. We moved to mankato in sept of 07. it moved the kids about 100 miles from their mom. we told her that we would drive 2/3 of the way on her weekends. sometimes farther if we could do it. within the past 2 weeks- she has moved 30 miles closer to us. so we asked her to meet 1/2 way now. (which is only 14 miles of a difference for her). she threw a fit! she has been calling the kids' father a stupid A$$ hole TO the kids (not just in front of but TO). she told them she wasnt going to pay for a mothers day gift from them for their "step B!tch" (me and also said that TO the kids). Then asks the daughter if that hurts her feelings that she talks about us like that.... daughter said no it doesnt cuz (as the daughter states) shes afraid mom will start yelling and be mad at them. the son- goes to her house and tells mom things (truths and lies) and told me that he does that so that she is "nicer" to him.
Those are a few of the most recent issues. she sends them home in clothes that are 2 sizes too small, she used to make them sleep together in the same bed- up until about a month ago. when my hubby first asked her about it- she told the kids to lie(they did in fear of what she might say or do). then we found out later on that she did that, and he once again confronted her. it finally stopped and then she moved.
We are just sick of her and her crap. it is so unhealthy for the kids to hear and see this kind of behavior.
is there anything we can do?