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Topics - dipper

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Custody Issues / Legal authority
« on: Nov 26, 2018, 08:43:15 AM »
Situation:   Grandparents have primary custody for the past 11 months after sharing joint custody for 3 years.   It has been very difficult with joint legal as parties do not agree on anything.   Mother does not respond to important matters, but argues once a decision is made.   Public pre-k, mother argued but did not respond when it was brought up.   Mother had planned on sending child to public pre-k at age 3.

Now:  Child has had trouble adjusting and behavior issues.  We don't know how child would have reacted had mother not told her two days before school began that she and boyfriend were fixing up place for all of them to live in.    Mother filed for sole custody days later.  Child had to visit with GAL, whom she remembers from last year.   

Child study referral was made by speech therapist and I took the opportunity to file a referral for concerns with handwriting and behavior as well.    Mother attended child study and used the time to down us and try to reference everything as in some way our fault.   She fought any suggestions we made.  She threatened to leave the room more than once, but never budged.

Child's behavior worsened.   We emailed mother about possible assessment for ADHD and therapy. Mother did not respond.   The next week, when assessment was done, her only input was asking if teacher asked or if we asked for it.  I had been plain that I had requested and reminded her of email.  She claims she responded but will not forward response.    She is in agreement that therapy is necessary, but wants it closer to her.   I am okay as long as it is not someone she sees.   I want unbiased, local, and available soon, and someone that has been referred.  The place she has mentioned she says she knows nothing about.   The one referral I have had that can see child soon is over an hour away from mother.  Mother says we have to agree.

Okay....went to pediatric appointment and mother instantly went on attack, threatening to end meeting until her lawyer could attend....asking if I knew what HIPPA was.....she was stepping out if I did not stop.  Honestly, the doctor asked about family history and I said dad and mother have ADHD/ADD.   When mother spoke up that she would answer for herself, not me..  I did ask that we focus on child, but said I would let her answer for herself and I would stop.   I repeated this a few times as she continued to threaten the lawyer and HIPPA....

I feel she does these threats to take over the meeting.  Professionals do not want to be involved in legal matters.   They baby her after that to calm her.   She disagreed with everything I said; and made it about discipline style again.  She was rude and so was her mother.

They are not going to pay anything toward counseling.  There is no order for them to pay or to say they do not have to pay.   We have joint legal - if she is not going to pay, would I be within my rights to take child where is local for us and we have heard good things about?

Custody Issues / Custody Battle
« on: Sep 06, 2018, 04:26:07 PM »
We have primary custody of gd as of January.  GAL and judge cited multiple issues with bm.  No one thought any change was possible.  Then she got a new boyfriend.  Someone has her under control and giving her the words to say.  She suddenly is not ill, not staying in ERs, not talking gangsta or flipping out. 

She has filed for sole legal and physical custody.  She is taking coparenting courses and now invited us to join her.  That class is court ordered.  I took mine last year and that helped us in court .

Two days before gd began prek, bm told her that she was coming to live with her and bf..  Gd is acting up in school.  Bm blames us saying it's a lack of household rules.

I really don't know how to fight this battle.

Custody Issues / Show cause?
« on: Apr 23, 2018, 03:27:09 PM »
My husband and I have custody of our grandchild.  The mother has every other weekend and a few hours each Wednesday visitation.  The GAL put in court order no new boyfriends to be introduced to child until 6 months continuous dating.  The mother began dating a man January 30th, the date I am sure of.

She quickly basically moved in with him and on weekends went back to her mother's home to see child. But she exposed child to video chat with him.  Today I told her we would like to meet him mid July before child does.  She informed me that she will be introducing them next week, claiming to have dated since November.

He is willing to lie with her.  I have told them we will be in court as they are breaking a court order .  I believe I have proof of when they began dating.She refuses to as much as show me a pic of them together in the fall.  I have told her to give me proof and I will let it go.

I know she is lying and this is why it was put into order. She cannot stay away from a man.  She is willing to risk contempt so that she can be with him all the time.

Thing is...we just got an order signed in January after a long battle and wait for judges decision. I don't want to make the judge angry but they are breaking court order.

What do you think?

Custody Issues / Okay to Ask?
« on: Feb 28, 2018, 07:00:12 AM »
Have a question:  My grandchild's mom is in the hospital and going to have knee surgery tomorrow on the right leg.  The last time she had knee surgery was on the left leg and she was unable to walk for 4 weeks.  Not sure if this surgery is the exact same, she just said when she had surgery on the left they had told her she would eventually need it on the right as well.   

I am a little concerned that mom will try to drive to exchanges before she is cleared to do so.  Is it okay to request that she show us a letter from doctor or at the very least the section of her discharge papers that state when it is okay to drive again?

(The reason I am concerned is past medical records revealed that there were times she was to be on crutches/wearing knee immobilizer and not driving - but she never came to exchanges on any of that and would be driving during those times.)

Custody Issues / Meaning?
« on: Jan 26, 2018, 09:32:56 AM »
We just got a final order.   The mothers attorney signed with a statement that she objected as the points in this case do not merit special factors, there is not a rebuttal of parental presumption, and not in best interest of child.

What does this mean?  Should we expect she is appealing to Supreme court or paving the way to file in J&D?   No need in calling our attorney.  She doesn't reply and agreed to stuff that we were not even informed about.

We won, but I feel like I am walking on egg shells.  I cannot afford an attorney and frankly, do not trust any.

Custody Issues / Custody
« on: Dec 19, 2017, 04:26:29 PM »
Ruling today:  we have primary custody effective after New Year's.

Custody Issues / No ruling
« on: Dec 19, 2017, 05:44:24 AM »
Nine weeks today.  No ruling still...

Custody Issues / Time in Ruling
« on: Nov 06, 2017, 03:47:42 PM »
Has anyone experienced a lengthy delay in a ruling on a custody case?  Our case was heard three weeks ago - it took 12 hours in one day.  Closing arguments were sent in by email three days later.  GAL was in our favor (grandparents).   We crossed the parental presumption hurdle.  I have no idea what can be taking this long - we are only told that the judge is backed up and very careful in her rulings.  I am very stressed at this point. 

Custody Issues / GAL Question
« on: Jun 09, 2017, 08:55:04 AM »
I have tried to research the role of the GAL and it appears that it varies from state to state and even court to court.  Some courts have clearly defined rules - others don't.  My question is - can the GAL legally share your concerns with the other side?    This would allow the other side to correct issues prior to court and seems unfair to me....

General Issues / Attorneys
« on: Apr 05, 2017, 12:17:21 PM »
I had felt good about our last attorney initially but then beginning in January it was as if he had taken on too many cases.  Never had time to talk, seemed to blow us off.  Once court was postponed in  February due to my husband's health, we only saw him one time prior to court in March.  He really did not give us any solids as to what he would be using in court - though we pushed for it - and he said he would try to get the medical information in that the other side filed to quash.   He told us he would take at least 1/2 day to review all of our material. 

On day of court, he was extremely unprepared.  The only thing he came prepared with was what he had been harking on for months and what we had told him was not enough.  He didn't even hark on that hard enough.  During court, he kept checking his cell phone and rubbing his hands over his eyes as if he was very distraught.  Not a good sign for us.  He did not object to them bringing in material that was not relevant to the case and dated prior the last custody order.  In fact, he only objected once and quickly admitted that he did not have grounds for an objection.

Okay, we have filed an appeal as we were meeting other attorneys to get their input on the case but you have to file within 10 days.   One attorney we met, we have heard excellent stuff about - but he is super expensive and really just a grumpy old man who is mean.   What we found out when we met him made us understand a lot  - this attorney is one of the attorneys representing our last attorney.  Our last attorney was with his wife at Christmas, but they have since split and it is very ugly.   The attorney - M. E.  - told us that our then attorney had been unable to devote the time he should have as he was so deep in his own problems.  Yes - told us this!  He also informed us that our then attorney was being represented by our opponent's law firm!   The opposing side's attorney's firm was co-counsel for our attorney.  They had worked out a deal about medical reports before ever coming into court and we were never informed about it.  Nothing was used.....

We got a bill today from our then-attorney and he charged ( at least he was honest) exactly 1 hour for trial prep.   I would say it was less than that.....but one hour was hugely insufficient.  He charged us for 5 hours court time and I really think we will call him on that.  He was unprepared, was on his cell seemingly upset, and during a break went outside fussing with someone on the phone - probably the soon-to-be-ex. 

I am considering filing a complaint especially now that we have a bill that shows that he did not adequately prepare. 

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