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I know that Soc is on vacation for a couple more days so thought I'd post here instead...

State is Florida.

Just discovered that CP Mom has been depositing CS into a savings account.  She's admitted in e-mail that all CS for a period of 18 months was deposited in this account - close to $23,000.  She thinks it's showing what a good mother she is in providing for the children.  Account is in her name only however.  

She and her husband have a separate joint account that pays all the household bills, and she tells the boys that they can't play sports or do extracurricular because she doesn't have the money, she's saving for a house, etc.  

We also just found out that she's pregnant by means of invitro, which I understand to be a very expensive process - anywhere from $8,000-10,000 out of pocket).  Pretty sure, based on her and husband's combined income of $70,000/year, and known expenses, that CS financed a portion of the procedure - or 100% of household expenses so that they could afford the invitro.  

Questions:
1. Have heard that judges frown on CS being put into a savings account (maybe not so much on a 592 plan).  CS is to be used for daily expenses, not for events yet to come - no guarantee that the children will be around to use the saved money.  Anyone know case law or have info on this?

2. If can be proven that invitro was partially or fully financed by CS, can DH do anything about reimbursement?

3.  Also issue with day care.  CP also admitted in writing that neither boy has been in day care (or after school care) for past 18 months.  CS order has NCP paying $198 of CS towards day care.  Order does not address at what age day care portion should stop (boys are 12 and 11).  Should NCP just stop paying that portion, or file for modification based on this alone?  Would be 17% of CS order.

Thanks.

Anyone know if there is a Florida statute that if visitation is more than a certain number of consecutive days in one month, then CS to be reduced.  Example: If summer visitation with NCP is more than 21 days in one month, then CS to be reduced by 50% for that month.

I know 2 different people who were divorced in Florida and both have this in their DD.  Neither of them can remember, however, if this was a statute or something the attorneys asked for.  

Thanks in advance.

I am the NCP and live in GA.  CP lives in FL with our 2 children.  Original divorce and CS order done in GA, then custody moved to FL in 2001 and new CS order written.  Original wording of GA divorce/custody decree was carried over, but new CS order entered based on FL income shares.  

GA order requires me to pay for medical insurance 100%.  FL income shares splits medical insurance based on percentage of income of each parent.  

Going back for CS modification to have day care costs dropped from order and it has been brought to my attention that I have been paying double on the medical insurance since August 2001.  The FL CS worksheet - of which I saw for the first time yesterday - has medical insurance included as part of my CS payment.  I've also been paying out of pocket for insurance all these months/years as well.  Total comes to about $9,000 overpaid in CS payments for medical insurance.

Question:
1.  Can any of this money be recouped, or should I just write if off as a very bad experience and a lesson learned?

2.  If recouped, should we distribute it over the balance of the CS (7 years)?

3.  Any possible actions against original attorney for malpractice?  Attorney knew that insurance was paid for out of pocket at time that worksheet was completed.

Thanks.  

 

DD reads "Further, the Father shall pay to the Mother the sum of Five Hundred and No/100 Dollars for the purchase of clothes for the minor child on January 15th and July 15th of each and every year until such time as his support obligation terminates.  Mother shall provides copies of the receipts for the purchase of child's clothes to Father."

Mother just provided receipts for the 2005 year, however 75% of the purchases are not for this child, but for others (stores have confirmed items and sizes through bar codes on the receipts).  

1) Any form of contempt here and is it worth pursuing?

2) Can/should I withhold next payment until she uses the full $1,000 she should've used on the child?  

3) Anything else I should pursue?


Thanks for your time.

NCP is responsible for maintaining medical/hospitalization insurance on 2 children.  Exact paragraph from settlement agreement follows:

"Husband shall maintain in full force and effect a policy of major medical and hospitalization insurance upon the parties' minor children in the policy amount equal to the standard Blue Cross/Blue Shield major medical and hospitalization insurance plan.  Any major medical and hospitalization insurance plan provided by husband's employer shall satisfy the requirements of this provisisons.  In the event husband fails to maintain a policy of medical hospitalization insurance as above described, then and in that event, husband shall be liable to pay any sum which said major medical and hospitalization insurance policy would cover at all times."

1.  NCP's employer is small (10 employees) and Blue Cross/Blue Shield policy covers Georgia only, not Florida.   So insurance through his company is not an option.

2.  NCP has reimbursed CP for all medical bills to date.  

3.  Had a policy set up in January for children through an individual policy but it wouldn't cover child's ADD medication/treatment and CP said to find another policy.  NCP has letters from insurance company indicating deferral for ADD and the subsequent request to drop the policy.

4.  In January CP said she would add to her husband's policy and we could make payments to them.

5.  Two weeks ago in conversation with CP, NCP found out that children were not on CP's husband's policy.

6.  Since that time, NCP has again applied for insurance for children.

7.  Today, Motion for Contempt for failure to maintain health/hospilalization insurance arrives in the mail, but leaves out the last sentence in the settlement agreement beginning with "In the event..."

8.  If NCP is paying all medical bills in full and is, has been, in good faith applying for insurance, what are chances of being held in contempt.  Just a scare tactic on CP's part?

9.  How do we respond to motion?

Thanks.

State is Georgia.  Child is 5 yo.  Custody is 50/50.  Primary/CP with BM.

1) Custody agreement states that either party must provide 30 days written notice if moving.  No stipulations on distance.  CP moved without prior notice but did provide written notice after the fact.  Move was 2 months ago.  NCP attorney said at the time to hang tight and let CP add up some more contempts.

2) CP residence is now 50 miles away from NCP home (previous 13 miles away), and 70 miles from NCP work.  CP has final decision making rights for school and stated she will move child to new county schools this Fall.  NCP could not maintain his 50/50 without jeopardizing his job.  Would require 24 hours of missed work (80 hour period) in order to get child to school by 7:30 each morning and picked up by 2:30 each afternoon on his days.   Current pre-k (previous county) not currently an issue (6/23 miles currently from NCP home/work).  CP states on tape that this new burden to NCP is not her problem and she really doesn't care to discuss it.  Agreement says to pick up from school.  CP won't meet halfway.

3) In addition to monthly CS, NCP pays a $500 clothing allowance twice a year.  Agreement states that CP is to provide all receipts to NCP.  NCP has made 2 payments since agreement and no receipts.  CP, again on tape, states that she's not providing receipts and "What's the judge gonna do about it anyway?"

4) Paragraph in agreement states that "Neither party shall make any disparaging remarks about the other to the child, that would tend in any way to interfere with or harm the relationship that each party hereto has with the child."  CP stated to NCP that if he wanted sole custody of child, then she would be more than happy to give him up (on tape).  Later in day, child called crying to NCP saying that CP told him that NCP didn't want him to see CP anymore.  This conversation is on tape as well.  When asked, CP said she told child because she wanted him to know what his daddy is trying to do to his mommy.
 

And there's so much more but my fingers and mind are sore.  All conversations b/t CP and NCP since December 2002 are on CD's.

Are any of the above reasonable for potential modification of custody from current 50/50 to sole for NCP? Chances the decision could go to the CP for sole?

As a side note, CP owes her attorney that handled this case $2,500 and NCP was told by his attorney that CP would have a hard time finding representation due to this.  CP has not paid a penny since final decree signed in May 2004 and has admitted to it.  "Why should I pay him, I didn't get what I wanted (sole custody)?"


Thank you.

DH just received notice last week that BM has filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy protection.  Anyone know if her mobile home would be considered an exemption in the state of Florida?  We're concerned that the children will be without a home if not.

 

["If Mother moves more than 150 miles from Father (which she did), then transportation shall be split 50/50."]

Can't wait for this crud to be over in 4 more years...

DH is in Georgia, BM is in Florida.  DH does not experience a visitation without interference from BM...ever!

Regarding transportation, DD simply states "If Mother moves more than 150 miles from Father (which she did), then transportation shall be split 50/50."  Nothing more, nothing less.  DH has always made and paid for the flight arrangements, then BM reimburses for her half whenever the mood hits her.  Before the boys began flying, DH and BM would meet at a halfway point.

In BM's email to DH about Christmas visitation, she says "I'm emailing you to see what your plans are for the boys' visitation at Christmas.  Just a reminder, according to the paperwork, they MUST be back by 3:00p on December 26th (note: this is actually 6:00p according to the paperwork).  We have plans that night so they MUST be back by 3:00p.  Confirm that you understand this. Also, if airfare is too expensive then we will arrange to meet halfway b/t your home and my home."

Fast forward to yesterday.  DH sent BM the confirmation today for the return trip on the 26th to their home airport (as is usual).   BM sends a reply back that they should not be flying back to their home airport, but to one 200 miles north because that's where her family is spending Christmas.  Though no where in her original email did she mention flying them back to a different location.  She's refusing to take any responsibility in not advising in advance that the return flight should be to a different airport, or to split the difference for the change fees involved in changing the flights.  

She has also defined (and says her attorney agrees with her) the halfway point for transportation by car should always be halfway b/t her home and ours, no matter where she is (and even though she will be 200 miles closer to our home this time).  This small detail will result in a 3 hour roundtrip for her and a 10 hour roundtrip for DH.  ??Would this same logic apply if she were spending the holidays in Kentucky and not Northern Florida?? I think not; she would then have to pass our home in Atlanta to get to the halfway point (she resides in Southern Florida).  Does this make sense?  She's also telling DH that her attorney has told her that she is not to put the boys on the flight to DH if he does not agree to (A) eat the costs for the flight back, or (B) meet her halfway b/t her home and ours.  

DH is not sure what to do.  It doesn't matter how much we comply with her wishes or demands, they just keep coming.  She always finds some way to put the screws to DH.  Also, if DH tries to challenge anything, it always ends up costing thousands of dollars, even if it appears black and white, and sometimes when it's stated that DH is correct.  

Any advice?  DH's attorney is saying $1,000 minimum to start something (but what?).  Money that is being taken from the boys.  My honest opinion is that BM has not contacted her attorney but making an attempt to scare DH into complying with her wishes.  I understand that attorneys sometimes interpret the law how they want, but when the verbiage isn't even there??  I especially cannot believe an attorney would suggest withholding visitation.

11 yo SS#1 (turns 12 in April) currently lives in Florida with Mom and 10 yo SS#2.  SS#1 has stated many times in the past 2 years that he wants to move back to Georgia to live with Dad.  Dad gave Mom forewarning that SS#1 had mentioned wanting to move back to Georgia and Mom said to Dad "I'll nip that in the bud right now."  According to SS#1, Mom started crying and screaming that 'She couldn't let him go again, it would break her heart too much'.  Since that time whenever SS#1 and SS#2 come for time with Dad, Mom calls 3 and sometimes 4 times a day - before she would call at most once every 3 or 4 days.  She tells them in each phone call how much she loves them, how she misses them and she can't wait for them to come home 'cause she's so lonely without them.

SS#1 is with us now for Christmas break and still talks about wanting to move here with Dad but is afraid to say anything to Mom because he doesn't want her to cry.  Says her crying makes him feel guilty for wanting to move.  

SS#2 has no desire to move.  Likes being close to Mom and really doesn't care to visit Dad because of rules he has to follow while here - his words.

We've told him that the decision has to be his and if he's serious about moving he'll have to talk to the judge and give his reasons for wanting to move.  We've given him the negatives of him moving here - not being with his brother or Mom 24/7, different rules to follow, etc.  He stills says he wants to make the move, but is afraid to approach Mom.  


Questions:
(1) Should Dad initiate the conversation again with Mom - only with SS#1's blessing first though.

(2) In Florida, will a judge listen to a child of 12?  Move, if approved, would take place after school year is over.



Sidebar:  Dad had custody initially after divorce in Georgia.  Mom moved to Florida.  SS#2, who was 4 at the time) went through huge separation anxiety from Mom (according to family therapist) so Dad sent SS#2 to live with Mom - in what he felt was "in the best interest of the child".  Year later SS#1 was sent to Mom due to separation anxiety of SS#2 being apart from SS#1.  


Any advice is welcome!!

We're in the great state of Georgia.

Custody agreement settled May 2004 with 50/50 (and we were told this was a major victory for the father in Paulding County).  Child is 5 and in pre-k. BM is CP.

(1) Agreement includes "move-away" clause requiring 30 day written notice prior to move.   BM moved to another county that is more than 50 miles from our house and gave notice (written or otherwise) only after the fact.  BM's new town is 50 miles from our house and 70 miles from NCP's work.  Currently, child is in pre-k 20 miles from NCP's work and 6 miles from our house which is where BM is keeping him for balance of the year (convenient to her work is only reason).  Today, on tape, she has said child will be moved to school in her county come fall.  NCP stated to her that this would prevent him from his 50/50 because travel time to/from school/work would be 1.5+ hours each way meaning NCP would have to be at school by 2:30 on his days during week for pick up, resulting in leaving work at 1:00 (at latest) to pick up.  Child can't be at school any earlier than 7:30 each morning, resulting in leaving home as early as 6:00 and NCP being at least 1.5 hours late for work.  Would amount to 3-4 days a week depending on rotation.  BM says she doesn't care, that it's the NCP's problem.

(2) Pre-k lunches and after school program is split 50/50 between BM and NCP.  BM's account is currently 4 weeks past due.  BM was given until this past Friday to settle account with daycare or child would be removed from after school program.  We know and daycare knows that BM owes the money.  BM says the past due is not hers, but ours.  Since August each pays alternating 2 week period so a precedence has been set.  She's not paid her last 4 weeks.  We have copies of checks and proof of payment from daycare.  Since child is now no longer allowed in after school program, he must be released by 2:30 each day.  This places another burden on NCP.  Her response again is that it's the NCP's problem.

(3) 3 weeks in a row messages were left for BM regarding baseball sign-ups for child and whether she was signing him up or not (she demanded to have decision making rights for extracurricular).  She finally called this past Thursday saying she would make contact with his coach and register child this weekend.  fyi- registration was 2 weeks ago but league made an exception to register child late.  As of Saturday, no contact had been made so NCP registered child himself.  BM's comment on why she hadn't had time to contact coach was because she was busy at home with her 18 month and 3 week old babies.  She didn't even know child wanted to play baseball again, though it's all he talks about.

(4) NCP pays $500 in clothing allowance twice a year (January and July).   Agreement states she must provide receipts for purchases.  Just made the second payment since agreement signed and still no receipts.  

(5) BM stated on tape today with NCP that if he wanted the child then he could have him.  NCP told her to sign the paperwork and that he would see her in court.  Attorney is being contacted now.

(6) BM still owes attorney $2,500 from her suit with NCP and has made no effort to pay.  NCP was told by attorney that BM will have a hard time finding a new attorney having not paid previous attorney.  Previous attorney is in same county BM is now in.

(7) BM has moved 6 times since April 2002.  Each time with the premise to help her new family financially.  Has had 2 more babies since.

(8) Has a 10 year old with ex-husband who now spends most of his time at his dad's 'cause BM doesn't have time (or room in the car) with the most recent baby's birth 3 weeks ago.  History with this child is repeating itself with NCP's child.

Most of the above is just the past week or two.  We have much more from the past year (threats of TPO or arrest when NCP wouldn't fold to her demands).  We document everything, and I mean everything.  NCP has actually had child 52% in both 2003 and 2004.

Also, BM used to work w/ Dept. of Family and Child Services but resigned when a child in her case load was killed by it's stepfather and BM was blamed for not following up on reports of abuse.  She now works in the private sector doing the same line of work.

Any advice or input on the above would be appreciated.

DH's 2 boys (13 & 14) live in FL with BM (we're in GA).

Boys are here for summer. Oldest mentioned that their neighborhood was "criminal-like" but BM told them they couldn't afford to move. Went on line to research.

They live in a trailer park in Boca Raton (yes, believe it or not they exist). There was a major drug bust in September. 17 people arrested including one person who was knowingly renting trailers in the park to several drug dealers. Also in this newspaper was mentioned that "the very next day, the drug dealers and prostitutes were back on the streets," and that "..this was only the second shift drug dealers, first shift was still to come." This is not a new issue apparently; criminal activity in this park has been spiralling out of control since late 1990's.

I've found community action reports as well that list the park's criminal activity as a major concern for the county. The earliest I can find online is 2002.

Continued to research and found 18 sex offenders (most child molestation, some internet solicitation of a minor, and some rape) living within 2 miles of them. 9 within 1 mile. 4 within 1/4 mile (these would be in the same park, one lives .10 of a mile away).

BM moved to this park in 2001, rented for 4 years and then bought a trailer in this park in 2005. In 2003 the police set up a sub-station in the park (if that doesn't send a message what does).  No matter what BM tells the boys, she has the money to move. The problem is that she bought the trailer with the lot and has to sell them together in order to move. Plus, she filed bankruptcy last June due to a debt she refused to pay from the divorce from DH in 2000, so probably wouldn't qualify for another mortgage right now.

What do we do? The boys are not in a safe environment, regardless of whether BM can move or not. Does DH approach BM about safety issues? She will most likely deny there are any safety issues (sorta like when she refused to leave the trailer during the hurricanes). Then what?

My DH's 2 sons live in Florida with the CP Mom.  Just this year, oldest son has entered middle school and grades are posted on EDLINE - an online tool for parents to keep track of grades, tests, assignments, etc.  Before EDLINE we were at the mercy of CP to give updates and details of schoolwork as she felt like it.

SS has always been an "A" and "B" student until this semester.  As of yesterday, he has an "A" in two classes, "D" in one class - one point from "F", and "F" in two classes.  

We've been tracking since before Christmas (when CP finally sent us the correct account info).  At Christmas break he had several assignments not completed that brought his grade down from "B" to "D".  While with us over Christmas break he was able to do those assignments and turn them in for a grade - "D" went up to a high "C".

DH has contacted several of SS teachers over the past month inquiring about the failing grades.  3 of the 5 teachers have told DH that SS does not feel it necessary to complete homework and classwork is whatever SS feels like answering - usually not  even relevant to subject.  They collectively say that SS is a kind, quiet child who just doesn't cause problems but doesn't seem to care anymore.  Latest incomplete work was recorded yesterday in 2 of the classes.

CP claims that everything is under control and SS is not failing any class.  That she goes on EDLINE everyday and sees what SS is doing.  She is perfectly happy with his grades and that DH needs to stop putting pressure on SS to keep his grades up.  Claims that DH is pushing son away by contacting teachers and making a big deal out of this.  Son has become distant over the past 2 weeks, since DH found out about the failing grades.

Counselor has talked to SS, at the request of DH.  CP was not happy about that.  CP claims that counselor asked SS where he wanted to live - with CP or DH, but counselor says she asked nothing of the nature.  

There are some issues about SS having mentioned wanting to come live with DH and myself, but fear of CP being sad and angry.  CP stated just this week that this would never happen, that she can guarantee SS doesn't want to live with DH.  He's perfectly happy with her.

What to do?