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Topics - ilovesavannah

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Ok, I'm in the state of Texas, and a friend of mine that went to a child suppourt review process said that the attorney general's office takes five percent of each check that I give to the mother of my child.  Now, it's one thing to give her money, but another thing to be giving any money to the dang attorney general.  If this is the case, why can't me and the mother of my child come to a fair legally binding agreement outside of the courts?  We don't need there involvement, I'd give her around the same amount, I don't care, I just would rather them not get mixed in if at all possible.  So, is this even a possibility?

Father's Issues / Could it have been lower?
« on: Nov 19, 2008, 09:20:52 AM »
Hello to all.  I was just wondering.... I was going to put myself on child suppourt a while back to be able to have better visitation of my child... I ended up not doing it.  A few months later, my bm is putting me on child suppourt.  My question is, would the amount of money been lower if I put myself on it, than if she is putting me on it?  Just wondering because I hear so many different things. 

Thank you so much for your help!

Father's Issues / What can I do to get "Fair" Treatment
« on: Nov 18, 2008, 08:54:46 AM »
Hello to all you beautiful people!

I've posted several times as my situation has been updated, buthere is the latest.  Next Monday, I have a child suppourt hearing withme and the mother of my child.  They gave me a list of things to bring,the most important of which they say are my check stubs.  I will alsobring checks that I have wrote to her, to show that I've been givingher money, even if they will be considered gifts etc.  At this point, Ireally want to get something settled in this meeting so we don't haveto go through the grind of the court.  So, I make 39,100 dollars ayear.  They say that they will take a percentage of twenty percent ofmy net pay, and that is just too much.  I will barely be able tosurvive once you put into perspective all the bills I have to pay.  I'mmoving out of my two bedroom apt to get in a way more expensive one bedroom for two reasons, the location is in a much closer proximity to mydaughter, and the second reason is that the childs mother had hang upsabout her visiting and spending the night while I had a roomate.  She'sknown the guy forever, but I really think she used that as an excuse. So, in an order to eliminate excuses I moved to a one bedroom in agreat location.  More money spent.  I have car payments, student loans,and all kinds of things to pay.  I don't mind giving her more money, Ijust want it to be fair to me and her!  I want to be able to suppourtmyself, and I want to have something agreed upon in the courts so thatit doesn't have to be a crap shoot anytime I want to see my littlegirl.  She pays her mother for child care so she's not paying asubstantial amount of money, on top of that, my mother cares for thechild a minimum of two days per week.  On top of that I buy the babydiapers, toys, and all kinds of things.  This is not a situation whereme or my family has not been around for the child.  Is there really nogray area to these hearings?  Is it all, this is what you make, this iswhat she gets?  If I proove that I've been there, and that my motherand myself are already assisting in the care of my child, is it stillthe same as if I never was there, never did anything.  I just reallywant to know if bringing up these facts will help my case for jointcustody, and if it will help my case for us working out a FAIR amountof monthly or bi weekly money?  Thanks so much!

First off, I want to give the biiiiiiiiiigest thank you's to all that responded to my last note. You guys were all oh so helpful and hopefully you can help me further on the next phase. Ok, I don't know if this is standard around the nation, or maybe just something that is Texas specific... but I have been issued a Child Suppourt Review Process Notice. They say that this will be conducted in a less formal environment, outside of the courtrooms and will be a way to negotiate something fair and binding in regards to money and custody before the courts have to get involved. I really don't mind paying a little more money, I just really want to get something worked out to where I can 1. Have joint custody of my child. I want legal and physical custody. I am stable and I have just as much right to my daughter as her mother has, and I am oh so capable of taking care of her. Hopefully this won't be a problem. 2. I don't mind giving her more money, but I just want it to be FAIR. Hopefully this can be arranged.

They are asking me to bring the following things

1.Current child support order (I don't have one)
2.Proof of any child support already paid (all I have are checks given to her that most likely will be considered gifts.)
3.Completed Health Insurance Availability Form (it's attached)
4.Most recent tax return, including @-2, 1099, and all forms and /schedules
5.The letter they sent
6.Photo I.D
7.Current paycheck stubs.

1. Do I really have to bring all that? I mean, it shouldn't be hard to round all that up, but seems like they asking for everything but my blood type.
2. Maybe a dumb question, but I should get a lawyer right? Kitty C I know how you feel about it already. lol. Looking but they so hard to find
3. If I sign on to a pre paid legal membership, are they good lawyers and will it come out cheaper? I'm thinking about doing it, but I don't know if it's worth it.
4. Should I reschedule... they say that you can do it... it's next week and I just found out this week... that's a quick turn around I think...

So yeah, I'm feeling a little bit better about being able to have a hearing outside of the courts that could maybe settle things, but before I get to happy I just wanted to know if this was common practice.... THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH

Father's Issues / I need help in the worst possible way...
« on: Nov 13, 2008, 11:18:23 AM »
Hello, I have a daughter that is almost two now. Me and her mother were together (not married) for a little bit over the first year of her life, and we haven't been together for about seven months. I have been there since DAY ONE! During the time we were together, I would give her a check here, check there, but a lot of the money I gave her was "off the record". You know, buying diapers here, dinner there, Money for the baby and all the etc's.

I know I have equal rights to my child in theory, but every since she was born, I have always felt like a visitor to my daughter. Yeah I can take her here and there, but they (her family) always has the final say. I want to take her out of town, and she just says no... and the next week she takes her to a family reunion. I want to visit her, and I'm left in limbo allllllllll day on if I will be able to see her or not because her mother says "I may be busy, and I don't know what I may have going on".

When she is really not doing anything and doesn't want to make any kind of effort to help me see my child. She just always wants to make it difficult. So, I have been giving her money since her birth, and at least I can pull up most of the checks from 07 and every single one from 08. As far as the off the record money, would bank statement withdrawls be proof enough? So, really she's just so mean and vindictive and it just really makes no sense... I've been giving her a steady amount of money every month, but I told her "Lets work something out out of the courts to where we can have set days that I can visit Savannah, and I will give you even more money"

Honestly, I was giving her about 250 dollars a month plus diapers and all the errands she would ask me to run before I visited my diapers. I refused to give more than that because she didn't want to sit down and work something out. I would have been breaking the bank and still begging to see my daughter in a fair manner. So, I looked into child support, but didn't do it because it really seemed as if it broke up the family... But, then, I call her, let her know I'm on the way to give her a check and she says... "that's ok, just get some diapers"... I'm like what? Why don't you want the check, so I pry until she says that she has filed child support papers and she won't be able to accept money from me from the date of her filing. Is this true?

She wanted me to get the diapers though, because when I buy diapers they are once again off the record... So basically where do I go from here? How can I equip myself to get joint custody and proove all the things that I have done as a father and monetarily? I don't care about the increased money, I just want to come out of the court room knowing that I don't have to go through her to see my daughter...

I want something legally in place that says this is my time, this is what is to be done. She won't be civil and listen and reason with me, so I just want a judge to settle it... I'm so upset that I'm all over the place, but someone please answer all of my questions... It would be greatly appreciated.

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