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Topics - kaylene99

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Child Support Issues / Need your advice and/or opinion
« on: Jan 20, 2006, 04:26:42 PM »
I must be getting old because I have posted about this before and don't remember what was said on the responses I got.  Worse, it was a long time ago and I can't find the post on here anymore.  Grrr!

So, here I go again.  Husband's CS order was done in State A.  He was supposed to pay court-ordered child support through a CS Receiver's (not Enforcement) Office.  The CS Receiver's Office does an allotment (not court-ordered deduction or whatever the correct term is) from his paycheck.  To make a long story short, ex wife was in the process of moving at the time and could not provide husband with a bank account number.  He needed this to set up the payment with the CS Receiver's Office.  So, he ended up paying her directly with checks and a couple of wire transfers.  She was actually in favor of this at the time.  All checks were noted with "For child support" and they were all cashed.  We sent copies of cashed checks and wire transfer records to CS Receiver's Office and they added a notation on his account regarding these.   Back then, his account showed that he's in arrearage for the timeframe that he should have been paying through their office but was paying ex wife directly instead.  

We were told by the CS Receiver's Office that they do not deal with arrearages -- they don't report it, they don't collect it, they don't do anything.  If CS is owed, it is up to payee to collect it via a legal process.
They also won't correct the wrong arrearage record on their system because that has to be dealt with legally.

The CS order was done in State A and both parties now live in State B.  Two kids are involved.  When Kid 1 turns 18 or graduates from high school or emancipates, support for that kid is supposed to end according to the CS order.  What is your advice in best handling the change in CS amount that ex wife receives?

Would you:
    (1) Send a certified letter to ex wife referencing change of CS amount according to the CS order as soon as Kid 1 turns 18 or graduates high school or emancipates.  Inform her that according to the CS order, husband will make a change in the CS amount. THEN change the allotment getting drawn from his paycheck.  
     PRO:  No legal costs involved.  Both parties working together.
     CON:  May have legal repercussion on husband's part.  He may have arrearages incorrectly recorded on his CS account although, in reality, he's current and up-to-date.

    (2) Modify CS order through legal course by registering CS order from State A in State B, hiring a lawyer in State B to handle CS change which will then prompt ex wife to hire a lawyer for herself to make sure that she doesn't get the short end of the stick.
     PRO:  Matter is taken care of legally.
     CON:  Both parties will spend huge $$$ to settle matter legally.

So, what would you do if you are in my husband's shoes?  Are there any other holes to this situation that we are failing to see?

Thanks for your response!!!

Child Support Issues / Is it worth it?
« on: Jun 22, 2004, 03:15:56 PM »

It's been a while since I've posted here.  I hope everyone's doing well.

Well, I wanted to know what you guys think of our situation.  Hubby's in the military and was recently promoted.  Ex-wife found out about it.  We don't know if she's going for child support increase but I wouldn't be surprised.  

Their divorce order was done in a different state.  We're all in FL now.  Furthermore, hubby's has been doing 100% of transportation for visits with kids (2) and doesn't get to claim them on his income tax at all.
Since the divorce, she has moved the kids further away numerous times and hubby still shoulders 100% of transportation just to see them.

If she'll go after a child support increase, that's fine with us.  We're all for what's fair and, if she's entitled to one, then good for her.  I did a quick calculation and, if anything, she'll get about $100/month.  If she does bring up a lawsuit though, we will petition court to grant meeting halfway for every visitation (since she's the one who keeps on moving) and alternate claiming the children (or divide) for tax purposes.  What do you think are our chances in getting these granted?

Right now, instead of handing her that extra $100, we are using it towards our and the kids' transportation expenses.  Airfare alone is worth more than $100/month!  Ex-wife has been unwilling to meet halfway even after we offered to pay for her rental car and gas.

Any thought or idea is certainly welcome.


Dear Socrateaser / Stipulated agreement
« on: Nov 17, 2006, 12:52:29 PM »
Hi Soc,

Hope all is well with you.  A few questions:

1. When does a stipulated agreement between parties override a court order?

2. Any suggestions on how to intelligently draw up and enforce a stipulated agreement?

3. When does a court recognize or honor a stipulated agreement?  Is there a specific process that parties must follow?

Thanks for your help!

Dear Socrateaser / In anticipation....
« on: Aug 22, 2006, 09:49:52 AM »
Hi Soc,

My husband is an active duty military member stationed in GA.  His divorce was done in GA.  We live in FL and so do the kids and the ex wife.  There is a chance that his next duty station will be in CA.  Nothing is 100% certain at this point, but I'm starting to anticipate what this change is going to bring about with regard to ex wife and the kids.

1. Child support from GA was never modified so it still stands as originally ordered.  If the ex wife chooses to modify that once we moved to CA, who holds the jurisdiction?  Will CS be based on CA or FL law?  I know nothing about CA law.

2. The current/orig divorce order states that husband is responsible for 100% of transportation (which he fulfills).  Unfortunately, this order was not modified when ex wife moved from GA to FL.  Am I correct to assume that, since he will be the moving party this time, he will continue to be 100% responsible for the kids' transportation during his time with them?  Any chance the court will favor a 60-40 or 70-30 split?

3. Ex wife wanted to relocate minor kids outside of the country before.  Husband fought and won against it.  If ex wife decides to re-litigate that issue on the ground of husband moving to a different state, what are her chances of winning?  How can we successfully prevent such relocation of minor kids in this situation?  The way I look at it, we will have even LESS time with them moving from FL to CA -- and even LESS than that if they are allowed to move to a different country.

That's it for my questions for now.  I'm sure I'll have more later.  Thanks again for all your help!

Dear Socrateaser / Stipulated agreement
« on: Mar 24, 2006, 06:42:08 AM »
Hi Soc,

Hope you're having fun with your vacation.  I would love to hear from you as soon as you get back (or get another chance to be near a computer :-)).

We may be in a situation where we need to write up a stipulated agreement.  Having no experience with it, I'll take a stab and have you review and dice later if you don't mind.

Anyway, my questions are:

1.) Does the stipulated agreement need to be filed in court and signed by a judge before it can be enforceable?

2.) How fast/slow of a process is it to have a judge sign a stipulated agreement?

3.) Do we file in the county where the children are or where the father is?

4.) Can the parties sign the stipulated agreement in front of a notary (instead of lawyers) and have that binding in court?

5.) Is a stipulated agreement valid without a judge's signature and without it being filed in court?  How can that be enforced?

I'm sure I'll have more questions later.  I ask for your patience. :-)


Dear Socrateaser / HELP! SS is failing school
« on: Feb 07, 2006, 04:21:22 PM »
Hi Soc,
I posted about this in detail on the Second Families board.  I'll give you the short version for your opinion/advise from a legal standpoint.

My stepson is failing 7th grade.  On top of that, he is exhibiting such defiant and disrespectful behavior towards his parents/stepparents and I'm assuming other adults as well.  Ex wife is at her wits' end and would like for stepson to live with his father TEMPORARILY -- until this school year is over.  My husband is on active duty military and will go back to sea deployment early next year.  

Questions are:

1. What is your professional and personal take on temporary arrangements like this?  How beneficial or detrimental is this for my stepson?

2. If husband goes for this temporary arrangement, what is your best advice for him legally on how to handle child support and visitation (with none or very minimum court costs involved)?  Per divorce order, he is to do 100% of travel.  Stepkids currently live 6 hours away.

3. Without hiring lawyers and going to court, can husband and ex wife draw up an agreement over details of this TEMPORARY arrangement, have it notarized and honored by the courts?  Would you recommend this path?

4. Boarding/specialty/military school was brought up in a past conversation between husband and ex wife.  We know that costs lots of $$$ which we probably don't have.  But, if this is what would work for stepson, how would you advise us to handle this so costs is equally divided between the two households?

5. If #4 happens, won't there be a change in child support?  What is the best way to handle that?

6. Stepson is currently seeing a psychotherapist according to his mother.  How much does the court value a psychotherapist's findings or recommendation when it comes to custody changes?  Is a custody change possible given that father is on military active duty?

Dear Socrateaser / Change of custody
« on: Nov 11, 2005, 04:17:08 PM »

SS is not doing too well in school.  Recent report card shows Cs, Ds and Fs.  CP and NCP had a long discussion to where NCP proposed for SS to live with NCP.  CP did not provide an answer.  State is FL.  SS barely passed last year and it' s looking like that might happen again this school year.  Worse, SS might even fail this grade.

Questions are:

1) Does SS failing in school like that constitute a change of custody?  

2) What is NCP's burden of proof here?  

3) Can NCP submit a proposal in court to temporarily change custody for SS due to the situation and the fact that CP lacks the skills and abilities to help SS with school?  CP admits reliance on SS to report what schoolwork he has done and completed.

4) SS and SD are normally home alone after school.  We suspect they are also left home alone on weekdays without school because CP and spouse are working.  There really is no direct supervision/guidance regarding schoolwork.  How can NCP best demonstrate that in support of changing custody?

5) Should NCP wait until SS fails the grade before taking any action here?  What would you recommend?

Thanks a million!

Dear Socrateaser / Child support question
« on: Oct 23, 2005, 09:45:50 AM »
If the NCP's salary increased, does this mean the CS should automatically be re-calculated for an increase even though CP's not asking for it?  If CP eventually asks for it, will there be retroactive payments involved?  Original CS order done in GA but all parties are in FL now.  CS order has not be registered in FL.

Thanks for your advice.

Dear Socrateaser / What to do?
« on: May 17, 2005, 11:03:09 AM »
Hi soc,

Need your help and advice on this one.

Husband and ex-wife were ordered in 2001 to attend a mediation which they both did.  Basically, the arrangement agreed upon by both parties in that mediation is for husband to have the kids 2 weekends a month (this is in addition to holidays he should have with the kids as outlined in their divorce order).  He will arrange for their roundtrip flight one weekend and, for the other weekend, he will pick the kids up from their residence and ex-wife is to pick them up from our residence with husband giving her $35 for her car rental fee.  She made a sobbing story of how she drives an old, unreliable car which will not make it to our residence (what a lie!).  Anyway, we agreed to the $35 which is really a small fee in exchange for more time with the kids.

Husband tried to fully abide by this mediation order in the past with the ex-wife not doing her end of the deal past a couple of times.  Every weekend that husband proposed that they "share" the travel per mediation order, ex-wife countered with it not being a good weekend,  her husband is working and she doesn't want to drive alone, blah, blah, blah!  Since we can't afford the kids' roundtrip flight two weekends a month, we resorted to what we could afford which was one weekend a month.  

Due to recent events involving kids' poor school grades and stepson's disrespectful attitude and behavior towards husband (which really is just his way of asking for more time spent with Dad), we realized that it was a mistake not holding ex-wife down to the visitation and mediation orders that give us more time with the kids.

How can husband effectively encourage ex-wife to abide by the mediation order?  This is almost a funny question to ask since we know she will just make all kinds of excuses and effectively resist.  Another question is this:  the mediation order was done in County A but we live in County B and ex-wife lives in County C.  Which county should we file contempt of court in?  Could we register mediation order from County A to County C?

Last but certainly not the least, could you help us with the wording or phrasing as far as encouraging the ex-wife to abide by the mediation order?  We want to be direct-to-the-point without sounding threatening.

Thank you, soc!

Dear Socrateaser / What to do..... what to do.
« on: Feb 04, 2005, 04:47:42 PM »
Hi soc,
Hope all is great on your end.  It's been a while but here I go again with some questions I hope you can help me with.

You may remember our situation: Hubby's ex-wife married a European guy.  They tried to relocate kids outside of the country.  We fought and judge ruled ex-wife can't take kids out of the country.  Went back to court a couple of times since then because ex-wife wants to "vacation" with the kids outside of the country.  Hubby practically offered for her to travel with one kid while the other stays with us.  She took her chance to court where hubby told judge of the same offer.  Judge agreed and ex-wife was able to travel with each kid on 2 separate occasions.  Currently, we have one kid's passport while she has the other's.

Fast forward to now.  Ex-wife informed hubby that kids' passports are up for renewal this year and she would like to know his plans for that (haha-- like we are planning to leave the country any time soon).   She quickly added that she would like to take BOTH kids to a few family vacations and we are, of course, assuming she meant OUTSIDE OF THE COUNTRY.

The thing is, this woman moved the kids numerous times away from us.  They currently live about 6 hours away and, regardless of how many times husband asked and practically begged for her to consider meeting halfway to facilitate more contact with the kids, she always refuse or ignore the situation.   Going back to court to modify order will only costs so much $$$ and we were hoping to work this out outside of court but, so far, we are out of luck......Hubby continues to shoulder 100% of transportation and we are making the best of what we can afford and do in that regard.

Hubby and I haven't fully discussed this latest update.  I think he is inclined to show good faith by allowing both kids to travel with ex-wife outside of the country but I think that's still a very dangerous ground.  For the sake of the kids, we do want a peaceful relationship with the ex-wife but I don't think that means giving in to her every demand.  I am instantly thinking of having them post a bond but I doubt that they have the $$$.  In lieu of that, is there anything else we can do to protect our relationship with the kids?  Can we even go as far as having her sign an agreement that she will return both of the kids at a specified date or child support is automatically terminated and custody is automatically reversed.  The biggest concern here is enforceability in the country she's going to.  I seriously doubt that these agreements will mean anything if they are not going to be recognized and enforced by the other country.

So, soc, what can you advise us to do at this point?  Ex-wife said she wants to open up the lines of communication regarding her request.  Funny how she's so willing to talk when she wants something and always manages to ignore/avoid the "meeting halfway" discussion but we will certainly bring that to the table again.

Thanks and looking forward to your wise advice as always.

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