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Is anyone else in Prince William County, going through a custody battle.  Getting ready to do the home study, and just wondering what I should look forward too.  First appointment, we take the kids, his and mine and go to Social Services, and then well who knows what hoop next.  Just want to be prepared for everything.

I am the "girlfriend" the kids live with us.  X is asking for them back, she is recently married.  Got a guardian too, insight into her would be helpful, but we are her first case lol go figure!

OK here is my story, thought someone out there might have some useful information for me as I am at a dead end!

I live in Virginia with 3 kids, he (dead beat dad) lives in Kentucky with for the record a nice lady. He owes me in excess of 29,000 dollars.  I have written to Kentucky child support enforcement (CSE), of cource they won't talk to me because I don't have a case there, mine is in Virginia.  I have written to the head of CSE in Kentucky, as well as some congressment, governors, and anyone else that looks important.

I know he holds a CDL drivers license and is working somewhere.  I do from time to time get a small bit of money.  He is adminstatively ordered to pay 315.00 for 3 kids, plus half of what it costs to have medical insurance.

I have tried to enlist the help of those  place that promise to get you money, but, I have had no help.  I thought child support was a felony and as sad as it is to admit, if he isn't going to pay me I'd just assume see him locked up.  I know this sounds bitter, but, come on I didn't make them alone shouldn't he help support them?

Any ideas?

Soc,


Cusodial mother(thats me) lives in Virginia (Prince William County) with three daughters.  NCP lives in Kentucky.

NCP is 51,000 behind in child support.  He hasn't paid again this time in 3 months.  Support is set at 315 a month.

Virginia points at Kentucky they have to enforce, and well Kentucky does in my opinion NOTHING.  NCP has a CDL license and works just like everyone else.

1.  What can I do to force someone to force him to pay?

HI!  If you remember we live in Virginia and have custody of his two boys.  We are unmarried ( you said they wouldn't approve).

We won against the BM, she got joint custody which we weren't opposed to, we kept physical custody.

1) she is filing for an appeal so the rumor has it.  Do you automatically get an appeal or do you have to show reason for it?

2) Does that mean another trial like this one with a GAL and a home study and the court room?

Thanks for all your help, and for the record the judge lectured him for 15 minutes about living in "sin" for 7 years.  How could he in good faith live like this in a house with 5 kids, his and mine.

I live in Virginia ( Prince William County).  He has custody, I am the "live in girlfriend".  The boys ( 14 and 12) have lived with us for the last 4 1/2 years.  We got custody willingly from the mother.

BM petitioned the court a year ago for change of custody.  She has gotten married and wants the boys back.  She has moved 8 times in the last 4 years.  Once since her home study was done.  

The GAL told us some time ago, and called BM and her attorney and told them she saw no reason for a change of custody.  BM also has the children on her witness list.  GAL told attorney he should not supena the children, which they did anyway.

1) Do you think they will allow the children to testify?

2) Children are both caught in the middle and very terrified to go to court they don't want to pick one over the other, what if they say they don't care where they live, will that make us look bad?

3) Heard through the grapevine that GAL went out to redo the homestudy since BM moved since the first one was done, and BM now says GAL says she is going to recommend moving the boys back to mom's house.  Does that sound possible?  Would the GAL call BM and tell her no change, go out for home study and change her mind and not call BD and tell him of her change of feelings?

4) any good court advice? yes, we do have an attorney

I am so sick, with worry lol any advice would be helpful thanks for your insight!

I live in the state of Virginia, BM has filed for change of custody.  We (BF and I the girlfriend) have been through a home study and the social service interview.  WHich for the record she moved after the home study was done.  

Yesterday in the mail we received her witness list.  She has put the kids on her list.  Oldest is 13, will be 14 by the time they go to court, youngest is 11 will be 12 by then.

Question is

Can they be called as witnesses?  

I can't believe she will drag them into this, and make them choose a side, but, we can't control it can we?

I live in Virginia, he has custody of his two children 13 and 11.  She filed for change of custody stated her home "more suitable"

Went for the home study interview and they came out to both houses.  

Question 1  
Is it relevant that she moved after the home study was done?  

She has two children of her own, one step son and is fighting for custody of the two we have.  She moved from a four bedroom home to a three bedroom home.  

She also failed to give 30 written notice of the move as court ordered in the custody order.  He has no address and no home phone number.

Question 2:
Does it sound accuate for the GAL to not want to see the children or dad before she gives her findings to the court?

GAL asked CF to call her a few weeks before court Dec. 15, which he did.  GAl stated that because she had not been able to speak to the mother she found no reason to see the children.  She only requested seeing the pre trial memorandum the date of court.

 

I live in the state of Virginia.

BF has custody, he and I live together.  BF has had custody for the last 4 years.

BM has recently gotten married, she has filed for custody of the boys.

BM has no other change of circumstances.

1) Is he and I being unmarried enough to change custody of the children?

I live in the State of Virginia along with the BM and the two children the BF has custody of.  We (he and I the live in girlfriend) have had the boys ages 13 and 11 for 3 years.  She gave him custody after 2 or the 4 children were proven to not be his and she could no longer care for all 4 of them financially.

The BM has recently gotten married, bought a home, and quit working.  She has served him with a motion to amend custody and support based off the fact that she is financially stable,her home is "more suitable", and has their 2 siblings (half) living with her.

There have been a variety of things that have happened in the last three years that were not in the best interest of the boys, such as letting the 13 yo drive the car in a parking lot, locking him in a car and refusing to bring him home when they had a disagreement.  Allowing the boys to jump off a second story deck onto a trampoline.

We have a 7 minute hearing on the 26th of July.

1) Does any of that represent a change of circumstances as required by Virginia law to change custody.

2) Should I (the live in girlfriend) go to court on the 26th or sit it out, the BM has asked that I be asked to leave on other such court precedings?

3) What would you recommend as the best line of defense on the 26th? Go in with the list of things that have happened in the last year that show her house to not be in the best interest of the boys.

I hope I have posted this correctly your advice is much appreciated!

Thanks,

I live in the state of Virginia, had a HORRIBLE custody battle some 3 years ago.  Live with a man who has custody of his two sons now 14 and 16, through the custody battle she got JOINT custody we retained physical custody. We (being dad and I unmarried).

We have now had the boys, along with my three daughters for some 6 1/2 years.  His youngest son is really starting to test the boundaries of his father and I.  He has run away twice, we have called the police both times.  The first time he ended up at his mothers house at 2 in the morning.  We never received a phone call only to find him in school the next morning.  

He ran away again Friday night, Dad called mom and asked her not to take him (the son) in and call if she had any information.  She called and said she had heard from him (the son)  but refused to give Dad the number in which he called from, yet she did call him on three way.  Dad put the police on the phone to mom she said she had no knowledge, and preceeded to bash dad.  

Question in all of this is, because the child is having growing pains...... is that grounds for change of circumstance?

Court was yesterday and dad won!  Judge saw no reason for a change of custody.

BM did get Joint custody, which only gives her access to school and medical records which we never had a problem with anyway.  She got set visitation which she didn't need she was able to see the boys whenever she wanted anyway.

So alls well that ends well.

I hear she is filling an appeal, does anyone know what that means? Does that mean a new trial? Is an appeal a guarantee or does she have to meet certain criteria to get one?

Thanks for your ears and kind words!

Some will probably remember others choose to block it out haha.  Court date is finally approaching.

BF has custody, BM wants them back after 5 years.  She has remarried and lives a "better" life than before.

Court is May 31 and I am more than scared.  He and I are still unmarried by choice, GAL says that doesn't matter.  GAL and SS both have said they see no reason for a change of custody.  GAL called BM and told her that their was no reason for a change.  BM sent SS home (it was her weekend, and she blamed him for the GAL saying there was no reason for a change, clearly he didn't do what she had told him to do and say)  that weekend, and told him to never return.  Which for the record he did go back on the next weekend that was hers.

Any words of wisdom for in court?  A few prayers would always be helpful as well!  Thanks, for always putting up with my endless STUPID and repeditive (sp) questions!

Got good news this weekend.

The guardian called BM friday and told her that she (the guardian) nor the Social Services (home study) could recommend a move for the boys.  They (both lawyers) could work on a more in depth visitation schedule.  BM only has EOW, although she never asks for more either.

It got so bad at her house this weekend, she (BM) ended up bringing oldest son home early.  She has the threatened the boys to move from Virginia to Florida cause they ( the kids)  didn't preform well enough in the home study or with the guardian.

I smell a victory for another DAD, an unmarried DAD at that!

WOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have posted here before will give a brief overview of the situation before I ask the questions.

BM signed custody over to BD 5 years ago on Mothers day (go figure).  They have lived with us (BD and me the girlfriend) and mom  EOW visits and holidays they work out between themselves. All 5 of the kids in our house are thriving, his boys 14 and 12 play sports at school, are A B honor roll at school.

BM got married 6-8 months ago, (Change of Circumstance) and filed for custody.  We had our home study as she did also, then she moved again for the 6th time in 5 years.  The Guardian came out to the house and met the boys, sat in the floor of BD bedroom and talked to us for about an hour.  Guardian told us that there was NO way she could or would recommend a change of custody.  She is going to help BD attorney rewrite a more detailed visitation order and call BM attorney and tell him what the Guardian suggests.  The home study that was done in July still has not been filed with the court to our knowledge.

Now for the question, we fully expect BM to take this to trial reguardless of what her lawyer is told, what does she really have to lose right?  What are the chances that the Judge would go against the Guardian?  

Can't believe in Virginia a father really can win a custody battle against even the saddest of mothers.

Thanks for your help!

does anyone know what the legal limit in Virginia is for calling a child as a witness is?

BM has called the children 13 and 11 as her witness in the coming hearing in May.  We (BF and I the girlfriend) think it is wrong to put these children in the middle and make them choose sides.  Does anyone know in Virginia what the legal age limit is?  

The boys did go to the social service interview and they have a GAL attorney.  Mom is busy buying the boys to get them to say what she wants them to say in court.  She can't prove our home, where they currently live and have for the last 5 years unfit, or unsafe, but we are afraid they will say they want to go back and live with her, for the sole reason of what she promises them in return.

Any ideas?

Quick background:  Two Boys 13 and 11 have lived with dad and me (live in girlfriend) for the last 4 almost 5 years.  Mom filed for custody about 6 months ago.  Not sure what her grounds were other than she got married and bought a house.  No changes in the boys life.

Went through the Home Study, interview with Social Services although the lady never spoke to me (the live in girlfriend).  Spent a lot of time with CF, spent 5 or so minutes with the boys, and the same with my girls who also live in the house.  After speaking to the children she spoke to CF again, she said at most she thought the boys could do with more time with mom, but, doesn't see a reason to move custody.  

Question:  Do you believe what they tell you, or do you think they tell both sides what they want to hear?

Made contact with GAL as soon as we got the name, some months ago.  GAL wanted to speak with the mother and find out why she (mom)  had filed for change of custody.  Called back to GAL at her request, right before court date (set for the 15th) and see what she (GAL) wanted to do.  GAL and home study give their advice on the 15th and then I guess it is set for trial.  GAL tells CF, mom never called her, so GAL doesn't want to see CF or the children.  I am NOT complaining, as long as things go well for us. haha

Question is:  Anyone else have things done like this?  What would you make of this?  

Hate to be a worrier but I am.

Ok....

After much apprehension on whether to let the boys go to moms for the holiday, they went.

She NCM called tonight 2 hours before bringing the boys home, and informs CF that she has called the police on their oldest son.  Her side is, their two children had a fight while playing X-Box, and the oldest, hit the youngest with the controller.  She informs dad that the youngest has a black eye.  Some how in discipline, which she (mom) says she doesn't have to explain to dad, there became a struggle and the oldest son pushed his mother.  She called the police on him for assult.  No, she didn't press charges.  Seems as though through the problem with mom, step dad, (moms husband) got involved and physically put son in the corner.  Seems odd she who is asking for a change of custody can't handle a 4 day weekend.

Mom also informs dad, that the oldest boy has a problem with her other two children, who were borne of the marriage, but are not from the same father. GO FIGURE.  Dad told her to talk to son about that, he can't control how the son deals with her other children, as she (mom) doesn't allow him to have any contact with the other children anymore.

I know, yes there is a question here.  We have already been to social service interview how can we leak this to the case worker without looking like we are telling which I guess we are but come on, she called the police on her son, yet didn't press charges, what is she doing?  How do we use this to our benefit? Does that sound bad?

For the record, youngest had no black eye, no bruise, no red spot no nothing.  We did inquire as to what had happened.  Oldest wasn't talking we didn't press real hard youngest said it was no big deal between him and his brother.  Fight over X box, mom "wigged" out.  Dad did council oldest that hitting, and pushing are wrong to anyone most of all to a woman, and WORST of all to mom.  Dad discussed other ways to handle his anger.

He is the custodial parent with no SET visitation.  They have always done every other weekend.  He is in the middle of a custody battle.  Christmas falls on her weekend.  They have always split Christmas morning with the boys waking up with us and then going to moms at about noon or so...... its never been her weekend.

Question:

Will it look badly on him in court if he continues in the same fashion as they have always done?   They wake up here, go to moms on Saturday at noonish...... He is willing to let her keep them longer than her normal return on Sunday night.

Have been through the social service home study and report is to be made December 18.  Social services told us when we left they saw no reason to move the boys.  Still have to jump the hoop for GAL, she doesn't want to see them till a week before court.

Question 2:

Do you believe what the home study lady said at the interview "I see no reason to move the boys, maybe mom just needs more visits"? (which she never asks for)  Or do they just say what they think you want to hear which for the record we NEVER asked what she thought.

Thanks!

Tuesday we go in for out "home study" interview.  We take all the children, his boys who the custody battle is over.  Mine 3 girls.  Any idea what I am walking into?

Do they speak to all these children as a whole?  Do they talk to the children one at a time?  Should we try to talk to the kids before we take them there or just take them in  and let it be.  I don't mean coach them, I mean prepare them in some way.

I hate to feel blind walking into this, we are good people, I guess fear of the unknown is the worst. Any thing you know will be more than I know!

Is there a list of change of circumstances in the state of Virginia?  In order to file for change of custody you are suppose to have a change of circumstances, is there such a list, or can you just file for the hell of it? and would anyone know where to find such a list at.  I have scoured the internet to no avail, and helpful hits would be much appreciated.

The ex wife wants to pick up her sons tonight, one wants to go, the oldest one refuses to go.  She (x wife) says she has a court order that gives her visits from 7pm tonight, till 7pm Sunday night.  We have no such copy, he was given custody May 14,2001 with no mention of visitation at all.  Question is, whose obligation is it to make this child go? Is the father responsible for forcing the 13 year old child into the car with his mother? or is the mother responsible for forcing him into the car?  I do plan to video the encounter as we are in the middle of a custody battle, said father is afraid he is going to be in trouble if he doesn't make him go, but how can you make a child go when they dont want to?

ok, here is the condensed version.  I live with a man in Virginia we have had custody of his 2 boys for the last 4 years.  His x now wants custody back, stating her home is "more suitable".

We have hired a lawyer, OUCH,

1.  Has anyone ever done discovery?  It will cost us an additional 1500 bucks to have it done, hate to sound cheap but come on 5 kids, I am cheap.  Has anyone found it to be beneficial?  And can anyone explain in layman terms what it is?

2.  She asked for a guardian ad litem to represent the boys.  I thought that was if they were abused or neglected.  What exactly does she/he do?

3.  What can I expect out of a home study?  She requested that too.

On our way into court for a 7 minute motion to amend custody for two boys we (their dad and I) have had custody of for the last 3 years.  There have been no changes in our home in that time.  The only change has been her recent marriage and a more financial situation for her.  We are not married, and I do not plan to attend court as she has had me put out of the court room before because we are not married.  Do you think my not going is a bad idea?  

Can anyone give me any idea as to what he should take to court with him.  We have lots of documentation of weekends gone bad, a letter from the school from last time she had custody, an investigation I believe she called in for abuse on us that was proven unfounded.  In seven minutes will they really hear any of this? Does anyone have any answers for me? In case it matters, we live in Virginia.

We are due in court July 26, although I am not concerned with the first court date I know if it goes further we will need a good attorney.  We all know how costly that can be and our last one was expensive and horrible, although I won't mention any names.  Was curious if anyone had used anyone in the Northern Virginia area that they thought was well worth whatever they had paid.  Would pay a million to keep his children, but, a penny saved is a penny earned and we just don't have that many pennies to spare with 5 kids.  Anyone have any names?

Is it appropriate to respond to a custody petition before you go to court.  Could I like type up a list of reasons with dates and explanations as to why her claim to have custody back is not in the childrens best interest. Send it to the judge before our first hearing which for the record is scheduled for 7 minutes.

I live with a guy who has had custody of his 2 boys 13 and 11 for the last three years.  I also have custody of my three girls, 14,13, and 12.  She his ex wife gave him custody after two of the children were proven to not be his and she couldn't financially afford to care for all four of them even with the child support he paid.

In the last three years, she has missed visits, been late almost every month with child support.  Her oldest son has refused to visit her off and on.  She has recently gotten married and bought a home where she resides with her two children and a step son.  For the record, her step son has repeated the 7th grade for a second year.  We have had many problems with her and things she has done to and with the boys like cutting their hair so short they got sunburned, locking the oldest boy in the car and refusing to bring him home, leaving the youngest at a friend of her house and he couldn't find her all weekend.  Dad had to go pick him up.

How do we prevent her from taking back these boys in a state that openly prefers the mother having custody over the father?