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Topics - durandal09

#1
Hello, my username is durandal09, but I've posted many times in the past under durandal. Its been awhile and I guess the system didn't recognize me - oh well.

On to the FACTS:

1) I am BF and CP, thru court action. Child's age is 3.

2) BM and I have never been married nor lived together. We however regularly talked prior to the birth about issues surrounding the unborn child.

3) Child was born in Virginia Beach, VA. At that time all parties resided in Virginia Beach. Currently BF and child reside in Chesapeake, VA. BM still lives in Virginia Beach, but doesn't have a current legal address.

4) I was not present for birth and for subsequent birth paperwork, including birth certificate/name.

5) At time of birth, BM decided to give child her last name despite prior agreement between us both.  She also assumed custody by default until court action.

6) Around time of birth, I contacted the Child Support agency, entered myself into the system, and paid child support for the first year without missing a single payment.

7) I was awarded custody approximately at childs' 1st birthday.

8) NCP has court arranged visitation but cannot keep schedule. NCP is currently homeless by eviction (Aug 08). Prior to eviction NCP rarely kept visitation schedule.

9) 100% of all expenses, care and rearing are managed by me. BF has child support arrearage since inception (part of custody/court action) - hasn't paid $0.01 of support.

Now, on to why I want to have child's last name changed:

1) I would like for my only child to have my last name.

2) NCP has had four other chances to raise her offspring (NCP has five children total) and has not done so. All children reside with their BF's.

3) NCP is manipulative and violent, and has leveled many threats, including the name issue (which became a reality).

4) NCP has assaulted me, but its amazingly difficult for a woman to get charged assault. BM does have a conviction for domestic violence in a prior relationship.

5) Child has support from extended family on my side only, and I want there to be no uneasiness or stigma following her as she grows up around my relatives.

6) I would like to start generating some financial investments for the child this year, and would like to avoid any complications later in her life.

7) I would like to avoid any awkward situations in her schooling and with her peers regarding her family status and name. While I don't think the child is aware, I have already noticed some peculiar behavior and attitudes from caregivers where this is concerned.

My questions:

1) I have heard its very difficult here in VA to get a last name change where both parents don't agree on the name change, but why should the BM's rights trump mine (or the childs)?

2) Where would jurisdiction be - where we reside now or where we were at time of birth?

3) Does anyone know of jurisprudence or good argument(s) that I might use in this matter?