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Topics - Natacha

#1
I already made commented about false sexual allegations, but I need to start my own thread. My step daughters mom has always hated me from day one. She has caused us so much pain in so many ways. Now that we have already brought her to court, and still continue to go for custody, she still continues to manipulate her daughter to try to make her hate us, or feel unsafe with us. I have to let a lot slide with her because if we went to court over every issue we would be in court for the rest of our lives. In fact I will be going to court against her personally in a months time.

In our home, We have my son, my step daughter and a child together. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We have a fantastic relationship, and our only problems are the one his ex wife gives us. I have a very good relationship with my step daughter. No matter how much the mom has tried to tear us apart, it hasn't worked because I believe my step daughter knows and feels that I really love her. My husbands ex wife hates the fact that her daughter and I have a really nice relationship.My step daughter is in such a bad position, and its really hard to help her.

She has tried everything under the sun to cause trouble. I know she will always continue to do so. We still go to court, and she has calmed down a lot because I assume she is afraid to get in deeper hot water, but she does things more discreetly.

ex: In our home. I am the person who sets the rules. My boyfriend is a very successful business man, but he is far too soft with children. They can walk all over him, and he doesn't seem to know how to stop that. Ofcourse when I see they are trying to take advantage of him, I intervene. We know he should take more control of the situation, but for some reason he is just way to soft. So in our home, it is me that sets the rules. I know this could back fire on me, but it has been working very well. I am the type of person who is very playful with the kids, and I plan alot of activities for all of us to enjoy together. I know they think I am fun, but they also realize I have bounderies. Something they do not see with my boyfriend.

Anyhow I guess my stepdaughter has told her mom, that I am the one who sets the rules or gives time outs. Yesterday she said to her dad" dad, mommy told me that I shouldn't listen to Natacha because usually when a step mom gives time outs, the step daughter will end up hating her, and I shouldn't listen to her, and I should only listen to you. My boyfriend replied " You need to respect all adults, just as you do when you are in school"

I know it should be the father who takes more charge, but that doesn't work in our home, and it works really well the way we do it. Some how it evens out. My step daughter has alot of respect for me. It seems like her mom is trying to destroy this, by trying to convince her that it would be normal for her to hate me, and that she shouldn't listen to me. I don't know what to do because we are constantly repairing damage that his ex wife creates, and then when it is some what repaired she starts on something else. I know it bothers the ex wife that we will be getting joint custody. The judge wants it to start in June when school is over. Its like she wants to make our lives impossible or something. Its very hard to deal with amongst all the other problems she has created. Fortunately for me, my step daughter loves me a lot, but she is only 9 now. I am afraid for as she gets older. Her mom has been so persisitant on manipulating her, and trying to turn her against me, I beleive she will never stop. One day my step daughter is going to hate me. Then what?