Have 2 SS ages 14 and 13. 14 yr old just informed me that he is getting his lip pierced on friday. He also informed me of some weird new thing he did with his hair consisting of shaving some parts and different colors. The hair doesn't really bother me, last year 13 yr old showed up with a mohawk and we solved that real fast by introducing him to a hat.
BM is apparently signing a consent form for 14 yr old to have his lip done, that is the part that we are frantic over. She has not contacted DH at all about this matter. In fact from what SS says, it was up to him to tell his father, so he told him on the online messanger when he knew his father was nowhere around. When he was talking to me today I informed him that his dad had no clue about any of this, and SS finds the whole thing amusing. When I gave him my opinion, he did ask for it, he got defensive and said that he was only trying to express himself.
I have researched NY state law and can only find that any body piercing done on someone under 18 other than the ears (which they both had done at ages 11 and 12 top and bottom of ear!!) needs to have parental consent. This just doesn't seem right.
I know someone will ask what is in their divorce degree. That is so old, it is the original and from when the boys were 2 and 3. It covers nothing about who can do what, only thing medical in there is that DH has to provide all insurance and that any leftovers is to be split 50/50. So basically this is going to mean that DH is screwed I am sure and that 14 yr old SS is now going to have a hole in his lip, might get hepatitis or a bad infection, will possibly damage a nerve and loose feeling in that area of his face. But as long as he is allowed to express himself...
If we can't stop this then I guess we will just have to have a band-aid rule in effect all summer. I do not want our 11 and 8 yr old sons thinking that is so cool and wanting that done. We have no problems with piercings, tattoos, hair styles/colors but we do feel that as parents we need to establish some boundaries and have some realistic rules about those things.
I guess I really don't have any questions, but I would love anyones input about how they would deal with this. Every time we turn around it is something else with this woman!!
BM is apparently signing a consent form for 14 yr old to have his lip done, that is the part that we are frantic over. She has not contacted DH at all about this matter. In fact from what SS says, it was up to him to tell his father, so he told him on the online messanger when he knew his father was nowhere around. When he was talking to me today I informed him that his dad had no clue about any of this, and SS finds the whole thing amusing. When I gave him my opinion, he did ask for it, he got defensive and said that he was only trying to express himself.
I have researched NY state law and can only find that any body piercing done on someone under 18 other than the ears (which they both had done at ages 11 and 12 top and bottom of ear!!) needs to have parental consent. This just doesn't seem right.
I know someone will ask what is in their divorce degree. That is so old, it is the original and from when the boys were 2 and 3. It covers nothing about who can do what, only thing medical in there is that DH has to provide all insurance and that any leftovers is to be split 50/50. So basically this is going to mean that DH is screwed I am sure and that 14 yr old SS is now going to have a hole in his lip, might get hepatitis or a bad infection, will possibly damage a nerve and loose feeling in that area of his face. But as long as he is allowed to express himself...
If we can't stop this then I guess we will just have to have a band-aid rule in effect all summer. I do not want our 11 and 8 yr old sons thinking that is so cool and wanting that done. We have no problems with piercings, tattoos, hair styles/colors but we do feel that as parents we need to establish some boundaries and have some realistic rules about those things.
I guess I really don't have any questions, but I would love anyones input about how they would deal with this. Every time we turn around it is something else with this woman!!