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The court order reads that the CP who is eligible to receive FREE government insurance, is to provide the insurance. He is responsible to pay the first $250 dollars of anything not covered by insurance, then any amount over that is to be split 50/50.

While I am court ordered to receive a total of 4 weeks during the summer, my kids spend the whole summer with me. (more closely, 3 months).  I've never disputed any amount of child support that I pay regardless.

This last summer, my son woke me up at 3 AM complaining of ear pain. I took my son to an Emergy care center in walking distance of my home. They advised me that they could not accept my sons Insurance. (Dad is in PA.  I am in SC).  They provided me with phone numbers of the local hospitals and I made calls from that center and found a hospital that would accept the out of state ACCESS  insurance.

I took my son there, he was treated, I stopped at the drug store and paid for his prescription, never questioning or asking for reimbursement from Dad.  In December, 5 months after taking son to the hospital, I received a bill in the mail. After spending several days, speaking to people in 5 different states trying to find out what this bill was for, I learned the bill was for the doctor(whom he NEVER saw, haha, isn't that a hoot...he was treated by a woman but the DR. wa a male). End result, the DR. did NOT accept the insurance, nor could he go on-line to sigh up for them to pay because he no longer worked there.  I also learned during the course of my phone calls that the Hospital itself had not been paid, but was still pending. ( 5 months later? OK?) To date,I don't  know if the hospital has been paid.

I advised Dad that I had received this bill, and I did EVERY thing I could to avoid anyone having to pay it...to no avail. So during my New Year's visit, I gave a copy of this bill to Dad, and advised him that I made payment on it. (Didn't want my credit ruined)

He told me "Oh well"... I have a bill for $750 bux for when I took son to the ER this year too.  I   renewed late so there was a lapse in his insurance.  So they won't pay it. I'll pay half of your hospital bill afterI receive my income tax. His "half" is not anywhere near the court ordered amount.

Since he failed to file paperwork that allowed our son FREE insurance, do ya'll think or legally know if I am responsible for any of HIS BOOFOO? Should I be held liable  because
DAD simply failed to file some paperwork?

I had custody of my kids for about 5 years. At that point, Dad got primary physical custody, with joint legal. That was about 5 years ago.
3 years ago, I moved about 600 miles away. While long distance, I have NEVER been an absent mom.
Fast forward... Daughter is almost 18 and about to graduate. Intends to go to college in my city.
Son is now 14, and has steadfastly expressed his desire to return to live with me for over a year to school and myself and dad.
He has recently gotten into a good deal of trouble at school, resulting in expulsion. He did this with purpose, stating that dad would kick him out when he got sick of him. I just spent the last 3 days gettting him into another school at his location.  He is ADHD and I got him into a" partial" (therapy and school) school. Yes, I travelled 600 miles to do this. Dad wanted me to bring our son with me.
I didn't. I couldn't. Why?
If I just packed up my son, I'm assuming dad could claim kidnapping...even though he asked me to take him.
That's my question....how could I legally bring my son with me? Is a hand written letter enough to prevent kidnapping charges if dad decided to change his mind? I know Dad has had enough... I just need to cover my butt.

Please read and then write to Patricia Miles!!!

http://www.pabulletin.com/secure/data/vol33/33-50/2353.html

to my old post and the replies?

Anyone in Pa. wants to chat, let me know.

Visit the Pa. message board?

Please take the time to go to this site and read! And don't forget to send your comments to Patricia Miles. Her contact info is at the top of the page. Help get this Recommedation passed!

http://www.pabulletin.com/secure/data/vol33/33-50/2353.html

I received a call from Domestic Relations this afternoon. They are allowing my appeal to go thru. ANYONE who can help with Pennsylvania child support laws.......HELP!!!  The local legal aid will not assist with child support issues. They did not give a date for the appeal, only that I had reason to appeal it, and they will hear it!

The State Representatives office called me also, whom I just got off the phone with!!! They are going to try to help me as well. Unfortunately, I could not give them a date of my hearing. However, the State REP. is from this town, and has a local office. They will be getting a visit from me.

Please.....anyone who can help, or offer a prayer....I'm begging!

I currently work full time, and have been ordered to pay child support. If I take on a part time job, would they figure that into what I have to pay for  support as well?

CP received $150.00 Child support a month. 2 children involved. One child was 50/50 custody, the other, CP full time custody, hence, the $150.00 per month.

Even with the Child support, CP was low income. CP received housing assitance, daycare assistance, medical assistance.

For totally irrelevant reasons, CP is now NCP.

Now that they are NCP, they lose $150.00 a month in CS. They also lose wages along with overtime due to the visitation schedule. They lose the medical assistance, and the daycare assistance. They lose partial housing assistance.

They cancel the phone, remove cable TV, cash in stock to get all bills pd. so that they can survive. It's not enough.

Now they have to pay support. The remaining money allows for rent and heat. No electric, no food, no car payment money($108.00 month).

How is this person suppose to maintain a home in which to visit the children? How is this person suppose to get to work with out a car? How does this person stand a chance in hell of getting the kids, who are getting in trouble in school, and going from straight A's to failing grades, back?

Just wondering.

At 4:00 my phone started ringing....no message left on my answering machine, but the calls were coming from my kids. About 10 calls on my caller ID. ( I wasn't concerned as I am due to pick them up at 5:00, and they didn't leave a message. I expect they want me to come pick them up early as usual.) I arrive home from getting groceries at about 4:15 and the phone rings yet again.

It's my son asking me where I have been?!?! I got out of work at 3, and went and got groceries. My son gets on the phone, and I'm told, "Well you didn't tell us you were getting groceries!!!" I'm totally scratching my head at this point as to why he is so frantic.

He informs me that he has a birthday party to attend at 4:30 at a roller skating rink 10 miles away. As IRATE as I was at hearing this, I calmly told him to have his father take him and I would pick him up. His answer was no, I had to take him. I informed him that I had a car load of groceries and that I had to get them put away, so he needed to have his dad take him and I would pick him up.

He asked his dad, and you could hear dad in the background saying, "I can't do that. She will have to take you." (I hope like hell this came out on tape.) I said son, if you knew you had a party  to attend then I should have known a lot sooner. Your dad should have called and informed me of this information (ARRRGH MY SON JUST CALLED AGAIN). So if he will take you, I will pick you up. "

My son informed me his dad had not bought a present for the child. Oh, like I can do that and get him to a party ten miles away in half an hour!

Sorry, I have to go pick up my kids now. My weekend with them is going to be hell.

This is exactly why I am considering accepting a promotion/transfer 150 miles away.  :-(

Daughter says:
i am scared to ask dad if i can go to the dance..

Daughter says:
i will try to wait until step-mom is not around mwahah

Daughter says:
i think i will just ask now neways .. ughhh wish me luck brb

Terri says:
if i do go like if they dont cancel it will you give me a ride home?

I say:
tonite?

Daughter says:
yeah

I say:
won't they?

Daughter says:
i dont know.. he said he would take me..... but i dont know about picking me up.. (he said it depends on the weeeeeeeeeeatttthhher

I say:
oh good gawd, he has 4w drive

Daughter says:
he said you have to share a little too

Am I a fruitcake?
(NOTE: This convo copy and pasted with names omitted.)

This evening was my son's appt. with his Mental Health worker. (He has ADHD.)

As usual, the kids come to sit with me. My girl says, "Hey mom, dad says that we can come stay with you Thanksgiving night and stay all the way till Monday night!" (Per court order, I do not have the kids this Thanksgiving. It is however, my weekend including Fri. nite, Sat, nite, home at 8 PM Sunday. The kids do not have school on Monday because of hunting season beginning.)

I said, loud enough for dad to hear, "I'm sorry honey, but I already agreed to cover the office Friday and I can't change that, so I can't get you Thanksgiving night". She then asked me about staying Sunday night, as she knows that I am the night manager on Sunday and Monday night. (Yes, I work two night shifts a week and 3 day shifts, working on the weekends that I don't have the kids.) I told her I didn't know, I would have to check and see.

It was my turn with the Mental Health worker. When I came out, my girl says to me, "Hey mom, dad said we could spend Thanksgiving nite at Auntie's house. Then she whispers..."He says he's being more than generous and he can't help it if you don't want us." !!! (Thank God she knows what a crock that is!) I simply said, " I don't know if she is working that day either. We'll have to see."

Now mind you, this "man" is sitting 15 feet away from me and can't discuss any of it with ME. I simply said, "I don't know if she is working or not. We'll have to find out."

Obviously, the X has plans. His family has 400 acres further south and I'm sure he wants to take the long weekend and go hunting. (It's tradition.)

Should I attempt to accomodate? Doing so will totally mess up my work schedule, and no, there is no way I can get Friday off at this point. Yes, I can make arrangements for the kids...but what is the point if I am working anyways???

My 13 year old daughter has a yearly physical on Monday. Originally, dad said I could take her to this appt. Step-witch stepped in and, yes, u guessed it, said that SHE would take her. Okay..that's fine. She can take her, but I will be there.

There are some sensitive issues that need discussed with the DR. I called the Dr. and she has yet to return my call, and at this point, I'm sure won't. I can only surmise as to why my call was not returned.

I really hate to put the Dr. in the middle of this...but here's my question:

My girl WANTS me in the exam room. She does NOT want step mom there. Come Monday, I will have my court order in hand. It will show my legal custody. I can guess that step mom will insist on being present as well. Do I "make a scene" and demand a POA and present the FERPA laws?

How far do I carry this?

My son had an appointment with his mental health nurse today for his ADHD. As usual...I arrive before everyone and the kids come in and promptly sit with me in the waiting room.

My son whispers in my ear that he has been wanting to call me to ask me to bring him his Trick-or-Treat candy because he forgot it, but dad wouldn't let him. (If you note previous post...the court order states the kids can call either parent as desired....) I told him I was sorry...and was soooo happy that I had stuck some Halloween candy in my purse to give to the kids!!!  ;-)

My girl then pops open her book...on the inside cover she had written...
"Son's appt. with Dr. G in two weeks was cancelled and rescheduled for January X date". I put thumbs up and nodded.

The appt. is over...and my son asks his dad if he can ride back home with me to pick up his Trick-or-Treat candy. Dad's snide reply is, "No, she probably won't let you have it anyways...now get out to the car!"
(MY-oh-MY how I wanted to say..."ERRRRR...wrong answer, the correct answer is...NO YOU CAN'T because I am a prick!)

My X turns to me and advises me that the Dr. appt. in 2 weeks was cancelled, and asked if I had received a call. Of course my answer was no, as I had not. Right in front of my daughter he says..."Well I have to call them so I'll let you know when it is rescheduled." and went out the door. My girl says, "Good gawd mom, he is such a LIAR!"

Is it no wonder my kids are messed up???

How in the world do you document these types of situations?

You're kids have been repeatedly told that if you so much as look at them cross-eyed, you'll go to jail for abuse.

They treat you as a waiter, a maid, or a cook. Do this, do that, get me this, get me that.

At times, you often think you'd rather not be involved in any of it. You're a piece of dirt.
But at the same time, you know that you're kids love you with all of their heart. It's a struggle every single time you have to return them. They don't want to go. They refuse to call it home.

You've spent a lovely day, doing all kinds of things. Having fun preparing for Halloween. Eating pizza and giggling.  Carving pumpkins. Preparing costumes. Then out of the blue...
You don't hear what it was your child asked of you. You say, "What was that you said honey?" And you're told...

"If you can't hear...clean the SHnIT out of your ears!"

Later on, you're told that a hair dryer is needed. You advise as to where it is.  And you're told...
"Get off your fat ass and get it!"

Do you get off your fat ass and return them to where this was learned?

Last November, my X gained custody of our two children.

Part of my custody order states that I have visitation, "Every other Wednesday after school until 8:00 PM.".

Last year, my girl rode the bus to my house after school on that day, and would arrive at 2:30 PM. For what ever reason, my X refused to allow my son to ride the bus to my house, so he or his new wife dropped him off at 3:40 PM.

This year, my 13 year old girl is in high school and he is refusing to allow her to ride the bus to my home. This is something she wants to do, as it gives her 1 1/2 hours of alone time with me before her brother gets here to do school work etc. He is insisiting that instead of riding the bus to my house, I drive to pick her up at his house. As well, I'd be perfectly willing to pick my girl up directly from school.

Also, he is now refusing to deliver my son to my house. He is insisting that after picking my girl up at 2:30 PM that I return to pick up my son at 4 PM.

I have offered to pick both children up directly at the school. He is refusing that as well.

Is my X not in contempt of court? After all, my court order says "after school". It does NOT say one hour after school, or 2 hours after school. If he is...my question is... do I advise him  via letter that if he doesn't do something to correct this situation that I will in fact file contempt charges? Or do I just go ahead and file the charges( along with other miscellaneous items. I have had enough and my kids are very upset.) I am pro se. My girl is very upset that she is losing this time with me, as we have always concentrated this time on doing homework. Her grades are now slipping from straight A's because they won't/can't help her.

My other option at this point is...to arrive at the school tomorrow to pick my children up with my court order in hand.

HELP. (One and a half hours is nothing? It IS when that is all you have for that week!!!)

...to turn your back and walk away; let your kids grow up in peace. If they decide to hate you, so be it. At least they can deal with that later as an adult vs. living with turmoil as a child.

As the stomache continues to churn...

I picked my son up last evening as usual. When he got in the car, he says, "Mom, were you going fast down the road?" I said, "No, why?"
(The X lives on a tarred and chipped road, and even in the best conditions you can only go about 15mph.) He informed me that his SM said, "Look how fast she's going. Wouldn't it be funny if she slid her A$$ in a ditch!!!" (Yes...those were the exact words.)

So all the way home, my son is saying, "Slow down mom" and "WATCH OUT!" and "Are we going to go in the ditch?" etc. Drove me nuts. WE went to the store later, and the same thing.

When we got home, he got out a  stuffed moose I had gotten him. My son (9) started calling me at all hours of the night scared from bad dreams. (I got him this moose, and told him it was his "Merry Christmoose" and when ever he got scared in the middle of the night he could hug it, and know that I was hugging him back. And yes, he could still call me, no matter what time.)
Anyways, he asked me if he could have some of my perfume to spray on it. I chuckled, and said "Sure". He said, "Then maybe dad will let me put it back on my bed. He said it smells like somebody peed on it."

Argh!!! How am I suppose to deal with this kind of stuff???

I miss Soc. It's sad to see this board dead.

Bittersweet..... X's wife #3 threw him and my kids out in October and he is now my best "friend friend" (tongue in cheek).

Mail me if you get a chance Iris. I'll fill u in.

My friend's CS hearing was yesterday. She was nervous... not only was her step mother there, but her father, who had been totally out of the whole story.  He wanted to remain neutral. Only the step mother has custody,

My friend was armed with all the documentation and print outs I'd given her. She said the judge was a real "*&%^(:". It didn't matter that she didn't work 40 hours a week. It didn't matter that she could prove that her insurance is provided free, and that the premium she paid was soley for the family coverage. It didn't matter that she had another child to care for. She was going to pay  X amount of dollars as demanded, PERIOD.

She said the judge talked to her like a piece of garbage, even tho she had told them she was willing to pay support, but felt ( and had proof that) she shouldn't pay that much.

Step mother and Dad took a few minutes to talk privately. They informed the judge they wanted NO money, only continuation of the insurance. The judge tried to talk them out of it! They insisted they only wanted the insurance, and were going to go after the father.

So, while it saddens me that the justice system seems to have "failed" yet again....I'm so happy for her. Maybe it was the harshness of the judge that brought the "Parents" to their senses. I don't know. But I thank you all for your input and wish you the same results.

Ok folks, I'm trying to help out one of my friends here. This is the situation:

Bio mom and dad never married, no longer together. The bio mom's STEP mother has primary custody of child.

At one point in time, the bio mom paid some support, and the bio dad paid some support. The bio dad then lost his job, I do not know why, but the end result is that bio dad no longer pays any support, even though he is capable of working.

Even tho the child was receiving medicaid, court ordered bio mom to obtain health insurance, which she did, through work. As crazy as it is, the health insurance has a $3000.00 yearly deductable.  Why a court would order that insurance vs. medicaid is beyond me. At any rate...

The bio mom is now being sued for the full amount of support. Bio dad is sitting somewhere not paying a dime. Is the court "right" in persuing bio mom for the full amount of child support?

CS support arrears in December at $382.61. Less than one months child suport owed. ($550.00 odered, $253.85 taken bi-weekly)
All payments taken from pay check and current.
As of today, arrears are $551.81. That figure does not even compute to a missed payment.
Documentation from State CS Page show all payments made.
KKKKKKKKK...........somebody tell me?

Just curious if you're getting anywhere on a SOC "replacement"?

Nobody can ever replace SOC.........but I miss him...and I'm sure I'm not alone.

I have several thousands of dollars in Savings bonds that belong to my children, purchased by both myself and family. These bonds were purchased with the intent for college. The majority of them have my name on them also.

My 15, soon to be 16 year old wants a car, so her father has told her to get me to give her those savings bonds. Of course, I refuse. He's now telling her to report the bonds stolen. They will re-issue those bonds, so of course.......I'm over-ridden.

Any ideas where to turn?

While there is no Soc, and probably never will be another Soc.......does anyone care to use this forum to continue the little "family" group that has come to form over the months and years? Until maybe there is a Soc II?
We all know it's not legal advise, but we can all be here for each other. Gawd knows.....anyone in our messes needs support.
I for one, have something I'd love to listen to you all on............

Hey Soc~
Case in PA, Joint Legal Custody, Father with Primary Physical. Mother(me) ten hours away.
Friday, alleged abuse occured by father against 12 year old son. CYS contacted, investigated, etc. Initial response of the investigation was that the children were going to be removed from the home. Father refused to agree to the wishes of the children to be placed with my sister. End result, the children were not removed. Is that nuts, or what?
Repercussions against the 15 year old, my daughter, grounded, phone taken away, etc, as they believe she is the one that reported them to CYS. Daughter is guilty by way of reporting the abuse to me, who is in fact, the one that contacted CYS.
Additionally, the Father demanded my daughter apologize to her step mother, who, is a nurse, which puts her job on the line, as well as to apologize for the "embarassment" caused to the step mother. My daughter refused to apologize, believing she did nothing wrong.
She has been given "until the weekend" to "straighten up her act". If she does not, she has been told by her father that he will go sign the papers that will put her into a group home/foster care.

Question:
If he in fact follows through with his threats and put her into foster care, what would the process be for me, having joint legal custody, to remove her from that situation? I will drive the ten hours in a heartbeat.

Hi Soc,
I ask that you please review this letter to my son's principal and give me any advise, and comments, that pertain.

Dear Mr. Principal,
     First I'd like to thank you for taking the time to send me SON's reports when he has been having issues with school. I do speak with SON frequently and make the drive to *STATE* almost monthly. While I wish I could have more of an impact, I do discuss these matters with him and hope that it in some way curbs him from having more issues.

     The reason for my writing; please find enclosed a copy of an email which I sent to Mr. TEACHER. As you can see, this copy is the second one I sent to Mr. TEACHER as he failed to respond to my first email. When he failed to respond to my second email, I wondered if perhaps there was a problem with the school's email. However, I emailed another teacher in a matter unrelated to SON and received an immediate response. Sadly, I am left to believe that Mr. TEACHER has fallen to Mr. DAD's fallacies and believes that I have no parental rights as he once told you also.

     The original copy of my court order that was provided to you still stands. There have been no changes to my order and I still have joint legal custody. You can see that I did not ask for anything out of line. If Mr. TEACHER chooses not to correspond with me as SONS's teachers of the last two years did, so be it. (Though, it saddens me that a teacher does not wish to act in the best interest of a student, and a troubled student at that.) All I ask of you is that you please see that I receive a copy of SONS's report cards as they are sent out. I have offered to provide self-addressed stamped envelopes and am still willing to do so. I understand that SON did fairly well on his report card, but I would like to see this for myself.

     While I would like to stop at school to review his records, I plan my trips to *STATE* at the times the children are not at school so that I can maximize my time with them. If I understand the FERPA laws correctly, schools are not required to provide copies of records unless, for reasons such as great distance, it is impossible for parents to review the records.

     I also understand that you very probably have "permissions" signed by the current Mrs. DAD, and that these "permissions" involove administering certain medications  such as tylenol or the likes, to SON. I sincerely hope that nothing occurs as a result of these "permissions" as SON has allergies to medications and the current Mrs. DAD has no legal right to give permission of any type in regards to my children.

     Please note that I do have a new address, as shown in my letterhead. My phone numbers have remained the same. Please adjust SONS's records to reflect my new address. Should you wish to contact me by phone, I am usually available until 11:30 AM on my cell phone. I may be reached at my work number, XXX-XXX-XXXX  from the noon hour on.

     I thank you again for including me in my son's schooling information.
     In closing, I send my condolences on the loss of your son.

Recap:
Dad gained physical custody 3 years ago. 15 year old daughter has been/is very unhappy in their home since day one. She has wanted to return to my custody, even since I moved 10 hours away a year ago. I return to visit almost monthly, and had the children several weeks over the summer.

My daughter has often told me of the step mom telling her she doesn't care about her, screaming at her, calling her names, and of course, saying horrible things about me.

Last night my son became ill and dad left to take son to the hospital. Step mom was doing her ranting and ravings at my daughter, calling her an "f'n biotch" etc.  My daughter went to her room.

The step mom went to my daughter's room and my daughter grabbed her MP3 player and began recording! The recording includes the hostile step mom yelling at my daughter, and when my daughter answered "yes, she understood"(while crying)  the step mom mocks my daughter.

It continues with her telling my daughter "You aren't jack *sheeeit*, You are NOTHING, and I will knock you down". She makes references to my daughters "own little world" and "what are you going to concoct to cover your *arse* this time?".  At the end, as she is leaving the room, she snidely says, "Now make sure you call your mother and tell her all of this!"

1. Is my daughter in her rights to record these things, and would it be allowable by a judge?

2. While this recording may seem relatively mild, how much is enough?

Is this notice legal?  Researching, it is my understanding that a date to vacate must be present. As well, there is no reason as to why to vacate. It was found taped to the door.
7/10/2006
"First Name"
This notice is to inform you that this is your 30 day notice to vacate the apartment located at "Address". As long as the apt is cleaned and all trash removed and the carpets are cleaned you will receive your deposit back as long as a forwarding address is given.
You signed a 6 month lease in "Date" , as stated in your lease agreement after this time we may terminate the contract as long as a 30 day notice is given (Article 1 of your lease).

Hope you enjoyed your vacation! Thanks for your help!

How to proceed?

The state is PA.

CP receives PA government funded insurance. He receives it free based on income.  CP had a large wage increase, as well as mine, and has just been granted a large child support increase (doubled).

The fact is, due to the doubling of the child support, he is now over the standards of 39K a year income to receive free government insurance by approximately 2-3K a year.  

Obviously, he can be found guilty of fraud if this was turned in. Secondly, when he re-applies, it will be found that he is no longer eligible. I do believe my child support can be raised because other insurance would have to be found and paid for. (He could receive insurance thru his wife's work insurance at a nominal monthly charge.)

1.Turn him in for fraud?
2.Negotiate lowering child support to put him back below the legal income for free insurance?

(And to those that are interested about moving, I did  receive a $55 a month credit even tho I moved out of state, and it costs me $140.00 to travel monthly to visit my kids. I stated that I had moved because Federal poverty standards were $200.00 a month more than what the state of PA was leaving me to live on.)