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Topics - spitfire

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Well, that is basically my whole question.  Mom took 15yo to therapist, but told them that she was custodian and that they were not to release any records to Dad.  She then sent the bill to Dad, who is not required by the CO to pay for medical expenses.  When Dad requested the records they refused to give them to him, as mom is the custodial parent.  Does he have a right to these records?  I read through pages and pages of Arkansas code, and I did find where NCPs have a right to school records, but I can't find anything on medical records. 
 
 

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Visitation Issues / "Reasonable Visitation"
« on: Sep 24, 2009, 01:08:22 PM »
My parents are currently going through a bitter divorce.  As I am no longer a minor I am outside of any custody or visitation orders, but as I was living at home when this all came to a head, and I am currently living with my Dad,  I am very much involved in the situation.  I have seven minor siblings; 15yo, 13yo, 10yo, 8yo, 6yo, 4yo & 2yo. 
 
My mother was given custody at the temporary hearing with Dad getting standard visitation - the first and third weekends of each month, alternating 5 weekends, and Wednesday evenings.  The judge specifically stated that this was not to limit Dad's time with the kids, and that all other reasonable visitation was to be allowed.  However mom makes everything a living nightmare.  But on to the current situation.
 
Mom testified in court that she intended to continue homeschooling the children "if she was able", however, 4 weeks into the school year she enrolled them in public school.  Up until this year none of the children have had any immunizations, so they are a bit behind.  My 15yo sister refused to get her shots last week.  Mom had scheduled them for Friday afternoon, right before Dad was suppose to pick them up for weekend visitation, and there would have been no way for them to get the laundry done and everything packed up and ready for the visit (mom does absolutely nothing to help them prepare) if the 15yo hadn't stayed home and got everything put together. 
 
Our church has "Family Night" dinner on the last Thursday of each month.  Dad texted and asked mom if he could take the children (they cannot communicate in person or on the phone, mom becomes very vulgar and abusive).  She ignored him.  So he emailed her, copying in his lawyer, and told her that if she continued to refuse resonable visiation he would go back to court.  She responded that he could take them to family night if he got the 15yo vacinated first.  Dad doesn't think he should have to "buy" visitation with his children.  Then she sent another email stating that since the children come back to her house from visiting Dad they are abusive to her, so all additional visitation is unreasonable. 
 
Today Dad received a letter through his lawyer from her lawyer, stating that he can take the other children to Family Night, but Amanda is not allowed to attend unless she has her shots by 6:45 tonight (the dinner starts at 7pm).  Dad doesn't think that he should give in to her demands, because it would set a bad precedent (ie that she gets to call all the shots). What do you think?  Dad has spoken to the school, and she doesn't have to have the shots until next week, and he has talked to Amanda about the shots, and she is willing to get them.  We just don't want to bargain for visitation. 
 
One final question.  The relationship between the kids and their mother is abysmal, but the 15yo is the worst, not only because she is "that age", but because she is old enough and mature enough to see through mom's attempts at alienation.  If she is left at home with mom tonight there is a pretty good likelyhood that they will have a fight (not necessarily physical, but it is possible.  I don't think the 15yo would start anything, but mom has totally lost it).  If the 15yo calls me and asks me to come get her, and I do, can I get into trouble?  Or more importantly, will it cause Dad trouble in the future?  Don't get me wrong, if my little sister calls and asks for my help I am going to give it to her, I just want to be prepared.
 
 
 
For additional background
http://www.deltabravo.net/forum/index.php/topic,37169.new.html#new

3
Custody Issues / Father getting custody in Arkansas
« on: Jun 26, 2009, 02:35:06 PM »
I realize that the background for my question will be very long, but please be patient.
 
I am the oldest of 9 children, 7 of which are minor ranging from 15-2.  We all still live at home with our parents. 
 
My mom has been a stay-at-home mother every since I was born.  We have all been homeschooled.  Dad has a well paying job, plus he makes a good living dabbling in real estate (remodelling and renting), and was the pastor of our church.
 
We are very religious, and have always believed that divorce is forbidden except in the case of marital infidelity. 
 
In September, my mother announced to Dad that she didn't love him, had never loved him, and wanted him to move out so that she could have some space.  He refused.  He immediately resigned our church.  He started going to marital counselling, even though mom would not go with him.  After a time, she started seeing the same man, but would not attend with Dad.  Dad also started seeing two different therapist to see if he could "fix" whatever was wrong that was keeping mom from loving him, plus reading every self help/marriage counselling book he could get his hands on.  But the more he tried to fix things, the angier and more hateful mom got. 
 
Over the last year she has become more and more disconnected from the family.  She claims that she is only distant from Dad, but that is simply not the case.  She spends at least 90% of the time either shut up in her room or out of the house, leaving the 15yo to watch all the children (Dad and I both work 6-4).  The schooling is not being done, and she is not involved in any of the regular household activities.  The 15yo has been planning the menu and making the meals for months.  She ignores the little ones, and when they demand her attention, she quickly become frustrated with them and has to "escape", usually involving her leaving the house.  The 15yo keeps the house together the best she can during the day, and Dad and I jump in with laundry and heavy cleaning evenings and weekends.  She has decided that she no longer wants to homeschool, and is looking into putting the children into public school. 
 
Dad and mom have not been living as husband and wife this entire time.  Dad even moved a bed into the music room so as to give mom as much space as possible.  He asks nothing of her, but to allow the status quo to continue, but she can't even be courteous to him. 
 
Never one to make decisions quickly, mom didn't serve Dad with divorce papers until two weeks ago, despite announcing that she wanted a divorce in December.  In the papers she asks for sole custody of the minor children.  Dad is not willing to give her custody, as he does not believe it is in the best interest of the children to be just with her. 
 
 I realize that the courts usually are in favor of the mother in custody cases, and she is alleging "personal indignities" as her grounds (which probably will not help Dad).  Dad does not want to take the kids from mom, he just doesn't want them taken from him, or for him to be forced to leave his home (a good protion of which he built himself).  He is perfectly willing to continue living the way we are, but mom simply can't stand him anymore, and wants to continue her life exactly the way it is, just without him there. 
 
Now for my question.  What chance do you think that Dad has of stopping mom from getting temporary (and then permanent) custody of the children?  Does the fact that I, along with the 15yo are willing to testify as to this state of affairs? 
 
If I have left out any background that you feel is relevant, let me know.  Please tell me that we have hope.
 
 

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