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Sorry for the double post, but I originally posted this on the wrong board. :P

I live in MD but my support order is in PA. The order was put into effect in 2001 and has never been modified. I currently receive $158.00 bi-weekly. Since then, I have married and moved to Maryland in 2003. I have primary legal and physical custody of my 6 year old son with his dad getting approx. 100 overnights a year, give or take a few. I was never married to my son's father.

Per our Custody Order, I am to do all of the transportation back and forth. I have had another child with my husband and we have another on the way. I am currently a stay-at-home mom because I wouldn't make enough to cover the costs of childcare. I believe that my son's father has a considerably higher paying job since 2001, but I seriously doubt that it pay more than my husbands.

Questions:

1) Does my husband's income have to be disclosed since I currently have none of my own? We do file jointly. (I would be surprised if this answer is 'no' but wishful thinking can't hurt ;c) )

2) If not, will they determine the amount of support based on only my earning capacity?

3) If I do need to disclose it, would that mean that my husband's income is 'our'  income and his expenses are 'our' expenses?

4) In my case, I take my son's to his fathers twice a month 360 miles round-trip for a total of 720 per month. Would I be able to list this as an extraordinary expense? (In our 'agreement', I did agree to do 100% of transportation, but that was before gas became ridiculous. But that's neither one of our faults.)

5) I have heard that if you have an infant at home, mothers are exempt from working for a year after their birth. Is this a myth?

I have a CS date on 1/24 and due to budget issues, can't afford to have a lawyer present so I am flying solo. Thanks for all your help and suggestions in advance. Feel free to ask any questions if something is unclear.

~Eva

Does anyone know of a link where I can get the actual law that states my child will recieve child support unitl 18?  I am having a lot of trouble trying to find it online.  I don't know if I am just not searching for the right thing or what.  I am trying to get a loan for a house, and my lender says they need proof that my son will receive child support until age 18 and it doesn't mention anything like that in my child support order.

TIA

Eva

I live in MD, but my custody order is PA. My son is very allergic to cats, but his dad insists on having two cats in his home. My son and I were in the ER last night until 2 am after coming back from his dad's with an asthma attack :( He got the cats about 3 months ago and every time I pick my son up, he progressively is worse. He's on his 3rd allergy med, and now has an inhaler.

I am not sending him his next weekend and going to drive to Philadelphia next Monday to file the emergency modification. The courts there only allow emergency filings on Mondays, and I couldn't travel today with my son being sick.

Of course I feel that this is an emergent situation :) but I wanted to get the input of some others that have gone through similar situations.

Case Points
- My son was diagnosed in 2005 as having a severe allergies to cats
- He visits his father 2x a month and for the whole summer [approx. 9 weeks]
- Since after finding out his diagnosis, his father has had no less then 5 cats over this time
- Currently he has two and even after asking, pleading and down right telling to find another home for these animals, his father insists that the cats have nothing to do with my son's discomfort and refuses to find a new home.
- I have sent his father countless emails, medical documents and had phone discussions on this matter and he still won't budge.

I am planning to ask for his visitation be suspended until he can prove  that he removed the cats and did a thorough house cleaning.  My husband thinks that they judge will just tell him to get rid of the cats but still continue with the visitations.

My outlook though is that if these cats are causing attacks, but his father is saying it's not the cats, then he will not seek treatment for my son when he says he doesn't feel well. I am so fearful that my son will get very sick and his dad won't do a thing. And the saddest part is that my son's father had a nephew who died from asthma :( He swears up and down it's from him running around. But he runs around in my house and is fine. He only is sick after coming back from his dads.

Thanks in advance for your input!

~Eva

I live in Maryland, but my support order for my 7 year old son is issued in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. It is not an interstate order. I moved to Maryland after the support order was established. I currently do not have an attorney.

I filed in Nov 05 for an increase in support. My original order was issued in 2001 and the only modification ever made was to change payments from weekly to bi-weekly.

Since I filed in Nov 05, I have had 3 hearing dates with a hearing officer. The first was Jan 24, 2006 where I appeared. To my surprise, before I even sat down, the officer told me that my date was to be rescheduled due to Father showing up without his income information.

So it was rescheduled for Feb 14, 2006. Since I live 180 miles away, I set up a telephone conference. On Feb 14 the office called and said that Father showed up 4 hours late and again with no income information, and the officer was giving him until the following Friday to produce it.

His father didn't produce the information by the said date. I called the courts 3 times in months following. I was told that the courts still had time and my case would come up to review soon and that I would receive something by mail and just to be patient.  

Well, by April 19, I still had not received anything. So I called again, and was told that the officer didn't do anything with my file back in February and the woman I spoke to said she would personally walk up my file to be handled. I asked why that hadn't happened the last 2 times I called, and she didn't know.

My next date was scheduled for June 15, 2006. Again, I set up a phone conference. At this time I was 9 months pregnant and couldn't travel. Again the officer called to inform me that the father had not shown and that his employer has yet to send the wage verification that the courts have requested twice already.

I asked the officer what can be done to stop this cycle. Why isn't his father being forced to produce this information? Why is his employer allowed to ignore the requests? He gave minimal answers that just sum up that I have to wait and be patient. And that basically there's nothing he can do.

It is now another 6 weeks since my last hearing. I called the courts again, and all they tell me is that my case will be coming up for review again soon and I should hear something in the coming weeks. :(

My questions are:

1) What can I do to move my case along?

2) Do you think sending complaints will help, or should I just be patient?

3) Are there specific forms I can file to make a complaint?

4) Is the father really able to just ignore the requests for wage verification indefinitely?

5) What responsibility does his employer have? Can I request them to send the information also?

6) I currently don't have an attorney and don't want to have to get one, but do you think this situation warrants one?

Thanks for all of your help.

~Eva (extremely frustrated)

I live in MD but my orders for child support and custody are in PA.

Yesterday, I filed for emergency relief and it was granted. My son's father's visitation was suspended until we have a hearing for him to show cause on 2/17, this Friday. I already had a request to modify my child support set for 2/14 by way of a telephone conference.

1) Should I request to postpone the child support conference since there may be a substantial change in his amount of visitation in the near future?

2) Would I be able to do it at the time of the conference since this was an emergancy situation and I will be having another hearing just 4 days later that?

3) If no, would I have to withdrawal and reapply for a modification?

4) Or should I go through with the hearing with our current custody order and then refile to modify if there are changes?

Thanks,

Hi Socrateaser,

I live in MD with my 6 year old son and have primary physical and legal custody, but my order is still under PA jurisdiction.

There is a criminal investigation pending on the matter I have questions on. It is about a substantiated incident involving my 6 year old son and his 6 and 12 year old cousins, who are brothers.

Please let me know if I should post on the board or email you.

Thanks!

I live in MD but my support order is in PA. The order was put into effect in 2001 and has never been modified. I currently receive $158.00 bi-weekly. Since then, I have married and moved to Maryland in 2003.

I have primary legal and physical custody of my 6 year old son with his dad getting approx. 100 overnights a year, give or take a few. I was never married to my son's father.

Per our Custody Order, I am to do all of the transportation back and forth. I have had another child with my husband and we have another on the way. I am currently a stay-at-home mom because I wouldn't make enough to cover the costs of childcare.

 I believe that my son's father has a considerably higher paying job since 2001, but I seriously doubt that it pays more than my husbands.

Questions:

1) Does my husband's income have to be disclosed since I currently have none of my own? We do file jointly. (I would be surprised if this answer is 'no' but wishful thinking can't hurt ;c) )

2) If not, will they determine the amount of support based on only my earning capacity?

3) If I do need to disclose it, would that mean that my husband's income is 'our'  income and his expenses are 'our' expenses?

4) In my case, I take my son's to his fathers twice a month 360 miles round-trip for a total of 720 per month. Would I be able to list this as an extraordinary expense? (In our 'agreement', I did agree to do 100% of transportation, but that was before gas became ridiculous. But that's neither one of our faults.)

5) I have heard that if you have an infant at home, mothers are exempt from working for a year after their birth. Is this a myth?

I have a CS date on 1/24 and due to budget issues, can't afford to have a lawyer present so I am flying solo. Thanks for all your help and suggestions in advance. Feel free to ask any questions if something is unclear.

~Eva

I currently live in Maryland, but my custody order, dated 9/03, is out of Philadelphia Pa, 180 miles away. In this order I was granted the ability to move my son to Maryland with me. My son's father has filed contempt against me.

 I am scheduled to appear in court in Philadelphia for contempt of custody on May 23, 2005. I am currently 30 weeks pregnant and due to my history of preterm labor, my doctor has restricted my traveling.  I will not be able to attend this hearing and need to request a continuance.  

I do have a note on letterhead from my doctor that says "XXX XXX is under our care for pregnancy, EDD 7/2/05. She has been advised to limit her work hours to the following: No traveling to work long distances due to pregnancy effective 4/25/2005."  

My questions are:

1) What points do I need to include in my request to the judge for a continuance?

2) Is there a form, or can I just write a letter?

3) Does the letter from my doctor provide enough information, or do I need a more detailed letter?

4) On what grounds could the judge not grant my continuance?

5) Is there a possibility they could proceed with the hearing without me present?

Thank you,

EvaCollette

My current custody order was issued in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  I currently reside in Hagerstown, Maryland. I am a 24 year old mom and I have a five year old son whom I have primary physical and legal custody of.  

I will try to keep as brief as possible, but without leaving out the important details of my situation.  As I am sure you know, custody is almost always long and drawn out and I am sure you have people tell you all the time that they could write a book about their story.  

Ok...here it goes.  My son was born in 1999 out of wedlock.  At that time, my son's father had a 5yr old daughter from a previous relationship (also out of wedlock). He was currently embroiled in a custody battle for her.

In February 2001 we started growing apart. The whole battle started when he picked my son up from my parents and changed the locks on me.  He told me the only way I would see my son is if a court made him.  So I filed for custody.

We first got a temp order where it was almost 50/50.  I had my son Thursday after daycare until I dropped him off Monday morning at day care.  

The final order came in May of 2002. At that time I was awarded primary physical and legal custody.  I was to have Monday after daycare until Friday morning.  His father had every weekend.

In May 2003 I got married.  My husband was in the military at the time and was stationed in Frederick, MD.  I filed for with the courts for permission to move.

 At the hearing the judge made it very clear that if "we" did not come to an agreement and made him go forth with a full hearing, we would not like his decision.  He gave us 3 hours.

On September 11th 2003, the courts awarded me permission to move to Maryland.  The visitation changed to his father having 2 weekends per month, his discretion.  He automatically had every "extended" weekend, for example Labor Day.  

He had the majority of winter break, every Thanksgiving, Spring break and every other birthday. He also has an extended summer visitation that starts the Sunday following the end of the school year the Sunday one week prior to the start of school.  

I am to provide 100% transportation because I have a car and he doesn't.  This new order was to begin as soon as I moved to Maryland.  

I move to Maryland in December 2003.  I took my son back to Philadelphia for all of his visits.  When it came down to the summer vacation portion, his father disagreed with the date that school ended.

When we were at court, I provided a school calendar for the county I was moving to as a template to show that their school calendar was different then the Philadelphia calendar.  The last day of school would have been June 2, 2004, providing not all the snow days were used.

However, once I moved here, I got a job in the next county over, Frederick County, and I enrolled him in school there.  The last day for them was June 16th.  I informed his father of the change in April.  He expressed that he was unhappy with it.

On May 28th, 2004 I took my son for his visit.  I was to pick him up on Monday, May 31st.  I called the night before to make arrangements with his father, and he said don't waste the trip because your not getting him back.  So I went to Philadelphia to try any way, and he still said no.

I called the police and made a report.  In Philadelphia, the cops will not get involved in a "civil" matter.  I went to Family Court the following day and filed for an emergency petition and for contempt.  The emergency was not granted because my son was in no medical danger.

I even asked what the point of issuing court orders that they were not going to enforce.  All I got were blank stares.

I retained a lawyer that day, and he tried to get a "pick up" order so that we could have my order enforced, but that was also denied.  He then suggested that I retain a lawyer in Maryland, since technically, my son's Home State is now Maryland.  

So now I have a lawyer in Maryland and also one in PA for my child support.  His father has been terminated from his job November 2003 and has not paid support since January 2004.  He also filed for bankruptcy. He is now telling me that I won't get my son in August either.

He is also accusing my husband of "beating" my son.  However, has taken no steps to prove it. Under no circumstances has my husband "beaten" my son.  My son's father made the same claim towards his daughter's step-father.  

He claims abuse as a reason to keep the child(ren).  But ultimately has no evidence to support these accusations.  

He now has also kept his daughter past his scheduled summer visitation time. His visitation with his daughter is every other weekend, and every Wednesday.  For summer he is to have two weeks in July and two weeks in August.

I personally feel that he kept his daughter because of the fact that he "got away with it" with his son.  The courts did nothing to him...well not yet anyway.  

I also have a Child Support Enforcement hearing coming up on July 19th. His father has over $1,600 of arrears with me and $1,300 with his daughter's mom.  I will not be able to attend because I have to work, so my lawyer is going to represent me. As it happens, his daughter's mother and I have the same attorney.  

My Maryland lawyer is awaiting an emergency hearing date.  But we are also waiting to see the outcome of the Enforcement Hearing.  Hopefully, if he shows up they will incarcerate him or make him pay something.  If he is incarcerated, then my PA lawyer will get my son returned to me.  

I know that I have been more that reasonable with my end of the bargain.  I followed the order that was given to me.  So why do I feel like I am the one being punished?  

I don't even get to speak to my son on a regular basis.  His father screens his calls.  Since he has been gone, I have only spoken to him maybe four times.  

My questions are:

1) What are the chances some power will intervene if he fails to return my son to me in August?  My son is to start Kindergarten on August 25th and is already registered in Maryland.

2) Can it be entered in testimony that he has also kept his daughter against court order?

3) What consequences will I face if I choose not to send my son back to Philadelphia until we have a modification hearing?

4) Why isn't it considered kidnapping if he kept my son out of state?

5) If the visitation is modified, what is the likely outcome?

6) Would I be able to ask that his visits be in Maryland only?

7) Will the courts take into consideration that he has not been employed and has not been paying support for a substantial amount of time?

8) Can I make it so that he has to pay for my court and attorney fees?

9) Will he face any consequences for what he's done?

10) What should I do differently in the future to prevent this from happening again?

Thank you, for your consideration and advice.  Please feel free to ask me any questions.

~EvaCollette

I have a 5 year old son that I had out of wedlock.  He was born in Montgomery County, PA.  We now live in Washington County, MD. When I was to fill out the birth certificate, they said by law, they would not add the "alleged" father's name because we were unmarried.  They said that we had to get a statement of paternity, or something. I did, however, give my son his father's last name.  

Paternity had already been established before my son was born.  But they said he still had to sign something and have it notarized to be added to the BC.  Well, his dad never did.  We have since split and I have married.  How hard would it be for me to add my husband's name to the end of my son's name?  I will mention to you that his father would NOT agree to this.  I don't want to remove his last name, but he doesn't want to hear it.  Since we were never married am I obligated to keep his last name as my son's last name?  What would I have to do to add it?

Thanks for you help!

~EvaCollette

Hi all,

I have a 7 yo son. We live in MD. My custody order is in PA where his BD still lives. My son goes to his dad's 2x a month every 2nd and 4th weekend and then for an extended period of at least 8 weeks over the summer.

My son is extremely allergic to cats. Out of 0-5, 5 being highly allergic, my son is a 5. His dad always seems to have cats, and even has gotten new ones after I told him about our son's allergy :(

It seems so STUPID that I have to file with the courts on this issue. But my son is suffering and has been for close to two years. When he comes back from his dad's he is wheezing and coughing and has trouble sleeping. I make him take off all of his clothes, bag them up, and make him shower... but he still suffers.

Yes, I try to talk to him... but he is difficult to talk too...  I really don't want to bother the courts with something so easily handle by us... but I unfortunately don't see that happening :(

Should I just file something? I would have to file in Philadelphia, which is a system already bogged down and this issue is soooooo small compared to what they deal with, but my son doesn't deserve to suffer.

What other alternatives would I have?

Thanks to anyone who can help!

~Eva

I currently don't have a lawyer and don't plan on wasting any more money on one.  ;) I live in MD but my order was issued in PA.

My question is what is an acceptable way of communicating with my son's father's attorney? I only contact my son's father via fax or email. Since our communication has been difficult, I have been also forwarding copies of our correspondence via the lawyer's email address and fax. Is this acceptable by the courts? Or do I have to also follow up with something being sent snail mail?

TIA

~Eva

I live in MD but my custody order is in PA. I have primary physical and legal custody.

In October of 2005, my custody order was amended. In the original order there was a section included for holiday and summer visitation. In the amended one, the judge entered:

"Amended as follows: Fathers partial custody is modified to every 2nd and 4th weekend every month beginning in October 2005. If there is no school for child on Friday or Monday, than Father shall have and extra custodial day of Custody. Partial custody from Friday evening until Sunday at 6:00 pm. If school has a holiday Friday, drop-off will be Thursday evening until Sunday at 6:00 pm and if school has a holiday on Monday, pickup will be 6:00 pm Monday"

Now since she made no reference to the summer or holidays, does that mean he just gets every 2nd and 4th? I don't know why I didn't catch this sooner. My lawyer was kept telling me that the holiday schedule supercedes, but the judge didn't even enter anything referencing holidays or summer in the amended order. Would he be able to file contempt if this is how I am interpreting the order? Who would be right?

Thanks in advance!

I live in MD but my support order is in PA. The order was put into effect in 2001 and has never been modified. I currently receive $158.00 bi-weekly. Since then, I have married and moved to Maryland in 2003. I have primary legal and physical custody of my 6 year old son with his dad getting approx. 100 overnights a year, give or take a few. I was never married to my son's father.

Per our Custody Order, I am to do all of the transportation back and forth. I have had another child with my husband and we have another on the way. I am currently a stay-at-home mom because I wouldn't make enough to cover the costs of childcare. I believe that my son's father has a considerably higher paying job since 2001, but I seriously doubt that it pay more than my husbands.

Questions:

1) Does my husband's income have to be disclosed since I currently have none of my own? We do file jointly. (I would be surprised if this answer is 'no' but wishful thinking can't hurt ;c) )

2) If not, will they determine the amount of support based on only my earning capacity?

3) If I do need to disclose it, would that mean that my husband's income is 'our'  income and his expenses are 'our' expenses?

4) In my case, I take my son's to his fathers twice a month 360 miles round-trip for a total of 720 per month. Would I be able to list this as an extraordinary expense? (In our 'agreement', I did agree to do 100% of transportation, but that was before gas became ridiculous. But that's neither one of our faults.)

5) I have heard that if you have an infant at home, mothers are exempt from working for a year after their birth. Is this a myth?

I have a CS date on 1/24 and due to budget issues, can't afford to have a lawyer present so I am flying solo. Thanks for all your help and suggestions in advance. Feel free to ask any questions if something is unclear.

~Eva

I am really confused on how jurisdiction works in regards to interstate custody.  Here's my story.  I have a 5 year old son that was born in PA. He was born out of wedlock.  Last year I got married and moved with my son to MD.  My current order gave me permission to move.  I don't get along to well with my ex, let alone do we communicate.

This summer I took my son for his regular weekend visit.  His dad wouldn't return him afterwards, and decided he would just keep him for the summer.  He was already going to get him from 6/20 to 8/15, but he decided to keep him since 5/31.  I want to file for a modification, but don't want to do it through Pennsylvania.  It takes too long.  I filed for contempt June 1st, and didn't get a date until September 21st!

Can I file for the modification in Maryland instead of Philadelphia?  How difficult would it be to move jurisdiction to Maryland?  What is the likelihood that this would happen?  I am so confused on how it all works.

Thanks for all of your help!