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Hello:


I just finally signed into this list to try & get some information. As probably many others here, I'm in a bad situation right now that I am trying to figure out how to get out of.


Not married, have one child that is about 19 months old, and a relationship that has failed about 1 yr ago. From the information that I have gathered already, my next step


is to find an attorney. I want to keep my child in my house and be the primary caretaker! It seems like everyone I've talked to about this so far tells me its just about impossible,
so I'm trying to figure out how to change that, or hear something different. Living in fear and being taken advantage of is making me sick, and wearing me down, so I need out.


I'm located in Oakland county, SE Michigan if it makes any difference. Looking for advice, info or support groups, and somewhere I can get some questions answered.


My fear is starting something, and ending up losing the child to a violent mother, and have her ending up the same as her, her older daughter from another failed marriage.

I'm looking for info or help with trying to "start the procedure".
I've been in a relationship for about 4.5 yrs, and the past 1yr has been total hell, the rest has not been all that much better either.
Together we have a 19month old daughter that I want to have primary custody of.
We are not married, however she lives in my home with her older daughter, 18 that she also went through the same process with 17 yrs ago. Married, have baby, then divorced. I never went far enough to get married, and its probably a good thing because there are some serious responsibility/money/mental issues.

Since they are in my home, I can't just simply say get out. Her car, her daughters car, every bill, every responsibility is in my name.
I need to know how to gain custody of my child and keep her with me. Since I am the dad I'm already down 2 strikes.

What are the determining factors of how these decisions are made? Since she has been through this before, she thinks she is a pro.
She has no credit, and in debt easily $100k, has no car without the car I've got for her, has no strings really, and for having a salary that is = to mine she should have something to show for it, but there is nothing.
She threatens me daily that she will leave, take the baby and I'll never see her again, threatens that she will kill herself daily, tons of other issues.

I've already been the primary care taker of the baby, have been for a while. However I know that she will think that she is the make care taker for the baby.
Dressing her, feeding her, drive to day care, pick up from daycare, feed dinner, making lunch, bathing, diapers, playing with her, just to name a few.
She is very jealous that I have such a loving relationship with my daughter, I'm not saying that she does not love the child, but she doesn't make any effort to spend
much time with her, or do any of the necessary things having a child requires.

I'm not sure where to turn, all I hear is bad bad bad about trying to go through these situations. I'm tired of being abused, taken advantage of and used, so I need to
figure out how to go through with this and keep my child so there is not another carbon copy of her mother and sister.

Anyone?