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Topics - CartersMom0905

Pages: 1
1
Custody Issues / Oh my GOODNESS! Loosing my mind!
« on: Aug 14, 2009, 12:27:13 AM »
I posted this on another board, but I thought I'd post it here as well, I thought there were a few of you who might be able to appreciate it. I guess my reason for posting it is, even though it wasn't a great experience and I wanted to pull my hair out by the end of it, I feel like you have to find the humor in things, or laugh through the bad times, or I don't know if I'd make it through it all to tell the truth. So feel free to share a giggle with me, that's why I posted. I think all of us can use a laugh.

So my story begins.......


So since I'm brand new to all of this mess, I thought I'd share with you all my first court house experience, just for giggles. This was great(so being sarcastic right now lol)
So I start my day by going to a consultation with a lawyer, get my feet wet, find out options right? She tells me she wants $3,500 up front, so I laughed my way out of the office... walked on down to the court house. Found a service that helps low income people with family law issues. Waited 45 mins to be seen, but that's fine, it's free, I'm not complaining.
  At this point a sweet woman hands me packets to fill out, and example packets identical the the paper work telling me exactly what to mark, where to mark it, what to fill out... yadda, yadda, yadda. Tells me to fill it out, come back and she'll go through it with me.
  So I take my paper work, and my "how to fill out custody orders for dummies" packet,find a cozy corner and spend another hour filling it all out to the T.
 Take it back to the SAME woman, who says to me, "I'm sorry, we're not going over papers with people today, take this to the clerk and try to file it, and if there's anything wrong she'll mark it for you to fix."
 So I walk down to the clerk, give her my packet that I filled out EXACTLY as the packet showed me to do, and she proceeds to yellow mark EVERY stinkin page and tab ever single page for missing or wrong information. Tells me to fix it and bring it back.
 So I spend another hour, fix every thing as she asked, and take it back AGAIN...and you guys are gonna love this part.. you ready for this... it's like the punch line....

  She looks at my work, types something in the computer and says,"Did you know that your ex already filed this paper work?"

Yeah,seriously lol. So I tell her I didn't know that, because I didn't of course. And then find out he filed it September of last year and has up to three years to serve me which he hasn't done yet obviously because I had no clue about it. So I'm near tears at this point, and she says tome that I have to fill out a different set of papers all together. Then she says, "Oh wait, you can just go ahead and file your papers and the judge can just combine the two cases." I asked her if she was sure, postive, that would be okay, and she confirms it. Then tells me that I need to make two copies of everything after making the corrections(Keep in mind when I say I'm broke, I mean I have $10 in my purse, and $1.33in the bank and that's it!) and that copies are 50 cents per side. I need 26 copies.
   So I make the corrections, lucky enough to borrow money from a friend that was helping me, make my copies, then make my way back to the window with my now perfectly filled out forms and my two copies of everything, relieved because it's done. Hand in my papers and wait for the clerk.
  Who comes out and tells me,"Did you know that your ex already filed these papers?" lol. So I go through the whole song and dance again, only this time she tells me, "Sorry the other clerk was mistaken, you can't do it that way. What you have to fill out is a response to his petition."
  She hands me this new packet to fill out... then closes her window, and shuts off the lightsin the office because at this point, the court house is now closed......


  So the whole day spent and one massive headache later, and I literally got NOTHING at all done. This whole day feels like one big punch line.
Is it always like this guys? Do I really have years of this to look forward to? How do you all do it with out going nuts?

Anyways,just thought I'd share that fun experience with you since it was a first for me, and I have a feeling that some of you have been there before.


I'll look back on this and laugh someday right?

   -Sharon
    "Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."   

2
Moms Without Custody / Oh my GOODNESS! Loosing my mind!
« on: Aug 13, 2009, 11:40:28 PM »
So since I'm brand new to all of this mess, I thought I'd share with you all my first court house experience, just for giggles. This was great(so being sarcastic right now lol)
So I start my day by going to a consultation with a lawyer, get my feet wet, find out options right? She tells me she wants $3,500 up front, so I laughed my way out of the office... walked on down to the court house. Found a service that helps low income people with family law issues. Waited 45 mins to be seen, but that's fine, it's free, I'm not complaining.
   At this point a sweet woman hands me packets to fill out, and example packets identical the the paper work telling me exactly what to mark, where to mark it, what to fill out... yadda, yadda, yadda. Tells me to fill it out, come back and she'll go through it with me.
   So I take my paper work, and my "how to fill out custody orders for dummies" packet, find a cozy corner and spend another hour filling it all out to the T.
   Take it back to the SAME woman, who says to me, "I'm sorry, we're not going over papers with people today, take this to the clerk and try to file it, and if there's anything wrong she'll mark it for you to fix."
   So I walk down to the clerk, give her my packet that I filled out EXACTLY as the packet showed me to do, and she proceeds to yellow mark EVERY stinkin page and tab ever single page for missing or wrong information. Tells me to fix it and bring it back.
  So I spend another hour, fix every thing as she asked, and take it back AGAIN... and you guys are gonna love this part.. you ready for this... it's like the punch line....

   She looks at my work, types something in the computer and says,"Did you know that your ex already filed this paper work?"

Yeah, seriously lol. So I tell her I didn't know that, because I didn't of course. And then find out he filed it September of last year and has up to three years to serve me which he hasn't done yet obviously because I had no clue about it. So I'm near tears at this point, and she says to me that I have to fill out a different set of papers all together. Then she says, "Oh wait, you can just go ahead and file your papers and the judge can just combine the two cases." I asked her if she was sure, postive, that would be okay, and she confirms it. Then tells me that I need to make two copies of everything after making the corrections(Keep in mind when I say I'm broke, I mean I have $10 in my purse, and $1.33 in the bank and that's it!) and that copies are 50 cents per side. I need 26 copies.
    So I make the corrections, lucky enough to borrow money from a friend that was helping me, make my copies, then make my way back to the window with my now perfectly filled out forms and my two copies of everything, relieved because it's done. Hand in my papers and wait for the clerk.
   Who comes out and tells me,"Did you know that your ex already filed these papers?" lol. So I go through the whole song and dance again, only this time she tells me, "Sorry the other clerk was mistaken, you can't do it that way. What you have to fill out is a response to his petition."
   She hands me this new packet to fill out... then closes her window, and shuts off the lights in the office because at this point, the court house is now closed......


    So the whole day spent and one massive headache later, and I literally got NOTHING at all done. This whole day feels like one big punch line.
Is it always like this guys? Do I really have years of this to look forward to? How do you all do it with out going nuts?

Anyways, just thought I'd share that fun experience with you since it was a first for me, and I have a feeling that some of you have been there before.


I'll look back on this and laugh someday right?
-Sharon

3
Father's Issues / Freaking out
« on: Aug 12, 2009, 03:05:31 PM »
 I'm now officially going into panic mode. I just had a surprise visit from a social worker. I cannot believe he would stoop so low. He made all sorts of horrific claims about our house. Said it was disgustingly dirty and there was no food here.
The social worker came in, I wasn't dressed by any means. My son just had a nose bleed two seconds before he knocked on the door. But he said that every thing was fine, the house was clean, the pantry and fridge are fully stocked, and that my son looks like a normal healthy three year old boy, with tons of energy.
Why do this though? I don't understand. He's always said that he thought I was a good mother. He knows that our son is always taken care of. Why be nasty, especially when it won't come to fruition? There was nothing to be found and he knew that. Is he just using scare tactics?
I'm freaking out here, one week into this non sense and he's already turning into a horrible person.
-Sharon

4
Father's Issues / New to this and so completely lost
« on: Aug 12, 2009, 10:28:45 AM »
I posted this same topic on the Moms with out custody board, and I was told that I actually have custody(which I wasn't totally sure of) basically by default, and that I might have some better luck with advice on this board.


I'm brand new to all of this, and by that I don't mean just this site.I mean having to fight over custody. Let me introduce myself first. My name is Sharon, 26, mom of one, from California.
His father and I have been apart for almost two years now(Never legally married). We were together for four years before he left. It was rocky at first, but him and I were able to mostly remain friends through it, and never had an issue as far as custody went. It was the one thing the both of us agreed on, and never had trouble with. He'd give me a call when he wanted to hang out with the kiddo, or I could give him a call when I needed to do something and wanted him to take him for a bit. No big deal on either of our sides.
Now all of a sudden the past few months it's becoming a problem. The only thing that has changed with us is he just graduated from boot camp for the Marines, and I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it. But now everything is just angry with him. Last minute changes with our son, not keeping his word about when he's bringing him back, doing things like cutting his hair without talking to me, which might not sound like a big deal I suppose. But the big deal right now is, last week, when we yet again had an issue with him bringing our son back when he was supposed to(wanted to bring him two days later), I told him that maybe it's time we go ahead and get a custody order in place, just so we can be clean about where our son is going, with who, when, and for how long. So we don't keep running into this problem. His first reaction was to start yelling,cussing, and to tell me that he was going to take full custody of our son and that I would never see him again.
It's not like him, and I'm not sure what's going on. I've never had a problem with our son spending time with him, I've always encouraged it, he loves his dad and I know his dad loves him. But now with the threats he's been making, I don't feel okay with sending our three year old back over to that house with out the protection of a custody order. I have no way of knowing that I'll ever get him back otherwise.
I need to know if any one has any advice on this situation. Or if any one knows how to get a custody order in place with out an lawyer, which is something that I have noway of affording right now. I'm a full time college student, lost my job three months ago to down sizing, and I don't even have child support to lean on because he's never paid a dime of it in two years(another story for another time).
Any advice anyone can offer would be a great help and I thank you all in advance.
-Sharon

5
Moms Without Custody / New to this and so completely lost
« on: Aug 11, 2009, 06:30:15 PM »
I'm brand new to all of this, and by that I don't mean just this site. I mean having to fight over custody. Let me introduce myself first. My name is Sharon, 26, mom of one, from California.
His father and I have been apart for almost two years now(Never legally married). We were together for four years before he left. It was rocky at first, but him and I were able to mostly remain friends through it, and never had an issue as far as custody went. It was the one thing the both of us agreed on, and never had trouble with. He'd give me a call when he wanted to hang out with the kiddo, or I could give him a call when I needed to do something and wanted him to take him for a bit. No big deal on either of our sides.
Now all of a sudden the past few months it's becoming a problem. The only thing that has changed with us is he just graduated from boot camp for the Marines, and I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it. But now everything is just angry with him. Last minute changes with our son, not keeping his word about when he's bringing him back, doing things like cutting his hair with out talking to me, which might not sound like a big deal I suppose. But the big deal right now is, last week, when we yet again had an issue with him bringing our son back when he was supposed to(wanted to bring him two days later), I told him that maybe it's time we go ahead and get a custody order in place, just so we can be clean about where our son is going, with who, when, and for how long. So we don't keep running into this problem. His first reaction was to start yelling, cussing, and to tell me that he was going to take full custody of our son and that I would never see him again.
It's not like him, and I'm not sure what's going on. I've never had a problem with our son spending time with him, I've always encouraged it, he loves his dad and I know his dad loves him. But now with the threats he's been making, I don't feel okay with sending our three year old back over to that house with out the protection of a custody order. I have no way of knowing that I'll ever get him back otherwise.
I need to know if any one has any advice on this situation. Or if any one knows how to get a custody order in place with out an lawyer, which is something that I have no way of affording right now. I'm a full time college student, lost my job three months ago to down sizing, and I don't even have child support to lean on because he's never paid a dime of it in two years(another story for another time).
Any advice anyone can offer would be a great help and I thank you all in advance.
-Sharon

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