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Topics - NYParent

Pages: 12
Custody Issues / BM is late picking up child
« on: Dec 21, 2009, 02:00:40 PM »
In the past BM has been late picking up DD during drop off days......how long do you guys wait after the court ordered drop off time before you leave if the other parent is late?  The exchange will be happening at the police dept., as per my request, so that it is easier to document when the other parent is late rather than getting receipts, etc.

In the past I have waiting up to an hour for BM to show up, but I don't feel like doing that anymore especially since BM would never do something like that for me. 

Father's Issues / SAD day in New York....
« on: Dec 18, 2009, 09:14:08 AM »
Well I just got out of court in New York....NY judge gave up jurisdiction of the case to TX.  She stated that she believes TX is a better forum for the case and because all the visitations happened in TX that's where the case should be held.

She also did NOT agree to let me have the child for the time I requested for the X-mas holiday.  She's only allowing me to have the child for 5 days.

I honestly wish she would have said this from the very beginning instead of having me hire an attorney in NY and make waste a few thousand dollars that I could have obviously used for an attorney in TX.  It is obvious to me that she had made up her mind since the very beginning. 

Does anyone have a suggestion for a really good attorney in North TX?  BM's attorney in TX is really aggressive and I think the attorney I had before isn't aggressive enough to deal with him.

I'm just feeling really beat down right now.  The judge didn't even care that I haven't even been allowed to talk to DD for months.  I can't believe that I have to start over.  Now I am going from a case where I was the petitioner to the respondent. 

Father's Issues / Jurisdiction UPDATE
« on: Dec 04, 2009, 11:07:21 AM »
Well just got out of court here in NY.  FYI BM did not show up, but she did have an attorney there to represent her.  Believe it or not, jurisdiction has NOT been decided.

Her attorney came in and stated that it needed to be "quick" because she had to leave.  I swear the hearing lasted 10 minutes.  BTW, she had already adjourned a prior hearing because she was "unavailable."  We got her Motion last week (she filed late b/c she was expecting us to ask for an adjournment again).  She states that NY does not have jurisdiction because the child's home state is now TX and that's where all the evidence is because she's lived there a couple of years now.  She's asking the court to decline jurisdiction because of "inconvenient forum" which according to the UCCJEA is allowed.

My attorney told me that it could go either way.  The judge already told me that eventually the case will be moved.  My attorney is asking for the case to stay in NY because we are simply seeking more detailed parenting agreement and not a change in custody so there's no reason to go to trial over this and therefore there's no need for evidence.

In regards to X-mas.....the judge said that there's no reason why I shouldn't have DD for two weeks and travel with her.  When the judge asked her attorney why BM had not confirmed she said that she didn't know because she wasn't getting involved in that.  Judge said that she would give an order the next time we went back affirming I can have the time.  Her attorney said that she couldn't give any orders because NY had no jurisdiction and my attorney jumped in and said "yes, NY continues to have jurisdiction" the judge looked at her and said "that's right."

My attorney told me to purchase my tickets today and have it all ready the next time we go which will be in two weeks.

Has anyone ever dealt with jurisdiction changing because of inconvenient forum?  How did it go?

Father's Issues / Daycare UPDATE
« on: Nov 21, 2009, 11:11:07 AM »
Well I called the day care provider (it's home based).  The machine picked up and as I was stating my name, she picked up.  Immediately I could hear the echo of our conversation as the answering machine continued to record (my guess is that's why she had the machine pick it up first).

I stated that I was calling to one find out about DD and two to talk to her about why she hasn't been returning my calls.  She said that DD was "fine" and when I asked her to elaborate she said she couldn't and wouldn't.  I then asked her why she wasn't returning my calls, and she said that she was under advisement from BM and BM's attorney in TX not to return any of my calls or to communicate with me in any other form.  She stated that she was picking up the phone to simply state that so that I could stop calling.

I asked her to please reference the CO that I had given to her and to see that I share joint legal custody of DD and therefore she had a legal requirement to speak to me.  This woman had the nerve to tell me that she had seen all the communication I had sent to BM and all the legal papers and how much BM was spending to "protect" DD.....that instead of focusing on writing letters I should focus of being a father and on sending more money to BM.....she also said that I should spend some time thinking about what a crummy b/f I was to BM and what a shitty dad I was being to DD now.

It took every ounce of self control to not lash out.  I simply stated that the problems between BM and I were between her and I and that she shouldn't get involved.....that it was unprofessional for her to get involved in them.  I reminded her that her only role in this was to take care of DD and that any communication between her and I should not go beyond that. I don't know if she realized at that point what an a**hole she was being, but she said that I could continue to call as long as I did in infrequently.

Now here's the issue.....there's no way in hell I want that woman taking care of DD when she cannot maintain a neutral ground.  I can imagine the types of conversations this b*tch and BM are having about me in front of DD (mom has a habit of doing this).  At this point, is it unreasonable for me to petition that DD change daycare providers with the court?  Has anyone out there dealt with a similar situation?  I can't even imagine what my poor DD is being subjected to listen to from all angles (family, day care, home, etc.).

Father's Issues / Holiday contact??
« on: Nov 19, 2009, 02:55:44 PM »
I wanted to know, do you guys have telephone access with your children on the holidays that they are with the other parent?  For instance, I don't have my child for Thanksgiving but I am going to send a letter to her attorney (in NY) to ask Satan (aka: BM) for telephone contact on Thanksgiving.  I just wanted to make sure that this is not uncommon.  Personally when I had DD for thanksgiving last year I made sure she called her mom.  I am also planning to have her call her mom on X-mas (if I actually get her for the holiday break....that's still up in the air). 

Also, my DD's birthday is coming up (prior to my next court date) so I am going to also request to have time access to her on her B-day as well. 

Let's see if that psycho b*tch allows me contact.  It would be nice to see my DD, since it's been so long (although something tells me not to get my hopes up).  BTW, there's nothing in the order that says I am allowed contact....remember, I have a crappy CO that says "frequent communication."


Father's Issues / Being denied communication
« on: Nov 03, 2009, 07:38:20 AM »
I wanted to get everyone's advise on this issue.  BM is not allowing me to talk to my child (I guess that's punishment for not giving into her demands to do the modification in TX).  I haven't hear from my child in three weeks.  I have sent numerous text messages, I have called, and my attorney wrote a letter asking for access. 

I have decided that I will be sending some sort of communication every other day and asking for a date and time to speak to my child.  Then at the end of the week I will send a letter stating that she did not allow me access to the child and list out all my attempts there.

Do you think this can be construed as harassment?  Her and her attorney like to throw that word around.  Do you think every other day is excessive?

Father's Issues / Contacting Attorney
« on: Oct 29, 2009, 02:12:25 PM »
Can I send a letter to the opposing party's attorney saying that any communication should come directly to me and NOT through my attorney?

BM is refusing to speak to me and will only speak through her attorney.  I don't want them send my attorney letters when they can easily send them to me (and I am not paying someone to read it, call me, and mail it).

Father's Issues / Just got out of court here in NY....
« on: Oct 26, 2009, 12:08:40 PM »
Hi everyone.

So I just got out of court here in NY.  There's not much to update on, but I though I'd let you guys know what happened.  NY judge spoke to TX judge.  NY judge not ready to make a decision on the jurisdiction of the case because he needed to still work out certain things with the other judge (whatever the h*** that means...sorry I'm a bit frustrated).  No temporary orders....according to judge that will be handled in the next court date.

On another note, BM did not show up.  BM made a major mistake in her filing (don't want to give too much details, you never know how's reading).  This was the SECOND court date she didn't show up for.  Of course the judge was furious!!!  He looked like he was ready to blow!  I also told him that BM was blocking my access to my child.  Told him that according to BM, NY doesn't have jurisdiction over her or the case, so there's no need for her to follow the NY CO (well that sure got the Judge PO).  So now I have to go back to court in early Dec.  Judge did not give me another summon to serve BM with (good because I've paid to have it done twice) instead the Judge said that he would personally take care of ordering that BM was present and had an attorney with her on our next court date.

I am frustrated that this is taking so long, because in the meantime I am not having enough time with my child and my holiday visitations are being threatened.  In a way it was good that BM didn't show up again, the judge got to see for himself the kind of defiant attitude she has.  So for now I just have to try to stay focused on my child and the bigger picture which is getting more time with the child.

Once my other court date comes through, I will once again update the situation.  I really hope that the judge here in NY decides to keep jurisdiction.

Father's Issues / Temporary Orders...
« on: Oct 20, 2009, 11:49:33 AM »
Can I ask for temporary orders during my initial hearing for modification or do I need to file a separate petition for that (I'm in NY).  I know that it's going to be a while before the modification is put through and I was wondering if I could ask for temporary orders to be placed (ie: Specific days and times that communication should happen with the child, specific exchange place, etc.) 

I still don't have an attorney here in NY (that's presenting to be more of a challenge here in NY than TX- most attorney's want anywhere from 10K to 20K retainer's fee to even take the case).  The judge told me the last time that I didn't need to have council with me during this hearing, but going forward I did.  I think I found an attorney who might work, but it's still up in the air and I am not sure if it's going to be finalized before my hearing.  This is why I want to know how temporary orders work.  I was thinking of writing a motion for temporary orders, but I have to serve that to the other party with 14 days notice right?  (I don't have that long).

Any suggestions that anyone can make as to how I can make the judge aware of the temporary orders in writing before the hearing would be appreciated.  I am the type that I express myself better in writing than speaking (as I often forget what I need to say).  Also, time is so limited during these hearings.

Thanks in advance for any suggestions.  I can't express how thankful I am to all of you and how much you guys have all helped me through this process.  I hope that one day I can help someone else (I'm noticing that you become somewhat of an expert after going through the system).

I was reading through some sample letters on this website and I noticed that they suggested that you CC the court's county clerk and asked that the letter to be made part of the permanent file.  That this was good so that the judge can see your efforts and be more familiar with what the other party is doing.

My question is, should I prior to going to court make copies of all the letter I have sent to the X so that it can be made part of the file? I have a lot of them, most dealing with her blocking my access to my child. What do all suggest?

Thanks in advance!!  (Counting down the weeks to have the jurisdiction settled so that we can get to the modification)

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